


the killer of sin

by lostariels



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Kara's still supergirl, Vigilante Lena, Vigilantism, kind of canon compliant but not really?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 09:07:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 113,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12187065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostariels/pseuds/lostariels
Summary: Before Supergirl rose as the hero of National City, another hero decided to put on a mask and make the city a safer place, only to meet his end a few weeks later. Finding her friend dying in an alleyway, Lena finds out the shocking truth of her friend's after-hour activities, and as his dying wish, she takes up the mantle of the masked vigilante, promising to keep the city safe.But, when Supergirl comes out of hiding and takes it upon herself to be the hero that National City needs, Lena finds herself with more enemies than she thought, and trying to keep the city safe is hard to do when you have an alien, backed by a secret government organisation, on your tail.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so I'm shit at summaries, but this is a vigilante lena fic so yeah

            “Oh fuck,” Lena swore, her head whipping around at the sound of a gun firing nearby.

 

             The half-smoked cigarette dangled from her fingers, and Lena dropped it to the ground, grinding out the red glowing end of it underneath a heavy booted foot. Blowing out a wisp of white smoke, she ducked into the shadows of the nearest alcove of a boarded up old video store that had been abandoned years ago. She had left the dojo late, and the street was empty as she scanned the street. It had been raining, and the streetlights were reflected in the puddles on the road, the cracked and pockmarked asphalt collecting pools of water. The dojo she frequented was in one of the less savoury parts of town, and she warily poked her head out of the alley, looking around to make sure no one was around.

 

            Taking a tentative step out onto the sidewalk, she froze as she realised that Jack had gone the opposite direction to her. The direction of the shot. Doubling back, Lena passed the front door of the dojo and set off in the direction that she knew Jack would’ve taken. She hitched her duffle bag on her shoulder, comfortably adjusting the weight as she crossed the street, ducking into the alley that she knew Jack took to make his walk shorter.

 

            At the mouth of the alley, Lena stopped in her tracks, looking at the figure laying on the floor with a hand pressed to their stomach. They wore a black balaclava, their eyes and lips the only parts of them visible, and at first Lena thought they were the person who had shot the gun, but that didn’t make any sense. Creeping closer, she stood over the prone figure, casting a shadow in the dim light filtering in through the end of the alley. She had her phone out, and turned the torch on, shining it down on the gloved hands of the person. No weapons.

 

            “Lena,” the voice rasped, and Lena felt a ripple of shock run through her. She knew that voice.

 

            Falling to her knees, Lena reached out to pull the mask up, revealing a familiar face, the expression twisted in pain and the brown skin three shades paler as a slight sheen of sweat covered his features. “Jack,” Lena cried out, her hands shaking as she pulled the mask off completely, holding the balaclava in her hands as she looked at him in shock. “What the fuck, Jack. Hold on, I’ll call for some help.”

 

            “Y-you have to get out of here,” he whispered, and Lena shook her head, feeling slightly faint as she looked at the blood that coated his gloved hands, a startling shade of red in the bright light from her torch. Continuing to shakily press the numbers to call for an ambulance, Lena froze as a bloodstained hand circled her wrist and stopped her, and Jack’s eyes drilled into Lena’s. “It’s too late. I-I’m _him_ … th-the masked m-man.”

 

            Lena looked down at the mask in her hands, thinking about the headlines that had been everywhere over the past few weeks about a mysteriously masked vigilante doling out justice to the petty thieves and criminals in National City. Jack – he was the vigilante. Lena’s pale face was aghast as she looked at him. “You fucking idiot! You’ve been running around putting yourself in danger to stop guys selling weed on dodgy corners? What the fuck is _wrong_ with you,” she hissed, pressing a hand to his stomach as she tried to stem the flow of blood, continuing to call the ambulance as she did so.

 

            “Lena,” Jack choked out, “Lena, look at me.”

 

            “I-I need an ambulance to the corner of Bridge Street and Water Street,” Lena frantically told the operator as soon as they answered the call. “H-he’s been shot.”

 

            “I always loved you, you know,” Jack muttered, and Lena stared at him in shock, listening as the woman on the phone kept talking to her. She couldn’t even hear a word she was saying, Lena was too busy staring at Jack.

 

            She opened and closed her mouth a few times, furiously blinking back tears as she clenched her teeth. “Y-you’re my best friend,” Lena told him, letting out a tearful laugh, “you’re going to be fine, right? You’ll be okay.”

 

            Jack closed his eyes, a slight smile playing at the corners of his lips, “yeah, I’ll be fine. Just … hold my hand.” Letting her phone drop to the street, she slipped her hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze, as if to reassure herself that he was there, alive. “Don’t let m-my work go to waste,” Jack wheezed, and Lena sniffed as she looked down at him, “m-make the city safe, Lena. Y-you were always better than I-I was.”

 

            “You can fix it yourself,” Lena told him, trying to smile as tears dripped from her eyes, “you hear me, Jack? I need you – you’re all I have.”

 

            “You should get out more, kid,” Jack chuckled, choking on his laugh as he did. He looked into Lena’s eyes once more, and then with a sad smile, the light seemed to fade from his eyes and he stilled.

 

            Lena let out a quiet exclamation of surprise, followed by a broken sob. She threw herself on top of him, clutching fistfuls of his jacket as she threw her arms around his corpse. Sobbing into his chest, Lena didn’t move until Jack wasn’t warm anymore, and she was clinging to the chest of a stiff, cold dead body. A feeling of disgust twisted her stomach, and she scrambled away from Jack, fighting back the urge to be sick. Sitting in a puddle of dirty water, amidst the trash bags and soggy cardboard boxes, Lena numbly stared down at the balaclava clutched in her bloody hands, turning Jack’s words over in her head as she tried to stop the sobs that wracked her whole body. He was gone. He had tried to better this city by taking on the criminals by himself, and he had been shot for it. With a burning rage that seemed to consume her, Lena stared at the mask. The sounds of sirens approaching drifted towards her, and Lena looked up, a look of fear on her face. Climbing to her feet, she slipped the mask into the duffle bag she still had slung over one shoulder and, wiping her eyes, leaving smudges of blood on her face, she ran off down the alley before anyone could see her.

 

            Running through the city, Lena made it as far away from the alleyway as she could. When she stopped, gasping for air and weakly collapsing against the brick wall of the alley she was in, Lena vomited beside the dumpster. The bitter taste of bile flooded her mouth, and she spat and retched, quickly rummaging through her bag with shaking hands. Coming up with a packet of cigarettes, she fumbled with the lighter to spark the flame, and lit it. The taste of tobacco coated her tongue, and Lena took a drag of the cigarette, coughing as she puffed out a stream of white smoke. Her breathing was ragged, hitching with sobs as she leant against the wall. Numbly, she stared at her hands, at the burning cigarette held between two slender fingers, coated in a dried layer of blood. Letting out a hysterical sound of panic, Lena began to rub at her hands in vain, her breathing coming faster and faster as she stared down at her hands. Jack’s blood. She was covered in it. They would find him soon, and she couldn’t be seen covered in blood. Taking another drag of the cigarette, she outed it on the side of the dumpster and tossed the butt in with the trash, taking a shuddering breath as she ran off through the dark.

 

\---

 

            Slipping in through the maintenance door of her apartment building, so as to avoid the cameras, Lena took the emergency stairs two at a time, all the way up to the penthouse. With shaking hands, she fit the key into the lock, after three attempts, and let herself into her home. Everything was the same as it always was – sparsely decorated in shades of black and white – and Lena felt out of place as she stood in the doorway, staring into the dark. Kicking the door shut behind her, she stumbled through the apartment, not bothering to switch the lights on, and shouldered open the bi-fold doors. Holding her hands out before her, afraid of staining any of the spotless white things red, Lena ran to her bathroom, opening the door with her elbow, and burst into the bathroom.

 

            Letting the duffle bag slip off her shoulder, Lena walked into the massive shower fully dressed, and fumbled for the knob. The water was freezing at first, but she was already shivering anyway, numbly sitting in the tub as the water began to rise, first up to her slightly bent knees, and then up to her chest. It soon warmed up, but she didn’t feel that either, and she slowly collapsed to the tiled floor, drawing her knees up to her chest. With glazed eyes that didn’t even process what she was seeing, Lena watched as the hot water washed away the dried blood, turning the water pink as she sat there staring blankly at the wall straight ahead. She didn’t turn the taps off until the water had already spilled over the edge of the tub, seeping across the tiles and inching towards the door to her bedroom.

 

            The sky was lightening by the time that Lena dragged herself out of the bath, sloshing water everywhere as she did so. Retrieving the balaclava from her duffle bag, Lena clenched the fabric in her hands, so tightly that her knuckles turned white. She stood in the bathroom, her clothes dripping down onto the soaking wet floor, and slowly, she put the mask on, staring at herself in the mirror. She let out a shaky breath and pulled the mask off, dropping it into the sink and turning around. Water streamed off her as she walked through the apartment, leaving a soaking wet trail behind her as she dripped onto the tiles. She walked straight to the liquor cabinet, fishing out a bottle of vodka and fetching a tumbler as she drank deeply from the bottle. She choked on the vodka, forcing it down before she filled the glass up and drained it, sloshing some more into the glass as she set fire to her insides. It was the only thing she could feel.

 

            In her state of shock, the only thing Lena could think of was that Jack’s mask didn’t fit her properly; she had too much hair. If she was going to keep her promise, she would need a proper fitting mask. Rummaging through a drawer in the kitchen, Lena came up with a pair of scissors and haphazardly chopped off her long hair until it hung to her chin in dark waves. Ignoring the pile of locks around her feet, she just drained her glass and turned around. Soaking wet and in a daze, Lena walked into her bedroom, collapsing onto her bed in her soaking wet clothes and drawing her arms around herself as she stared out the window, taking in the steadily lightening sky between the towering office building and skyscrapers outside. Shivering and slowly creating a wet patch where she lay, Lena stared off into space, letting the shock of what had happened consume her.

 

            She didn’t move for the rest of the day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to clarify, this starts when kara's just starting to become supergirl and use her powers, so she's not fully in control or anything, and the luthor's have been in national city for a while

           Perched precariously on the edge of a rooftop, like one of the pigeons ruffling their feathers nearby, Lena peered down at the man in the alleyway, pointing a gun at the scared young guy, who was clutching the strap of the bag slung over his shoulder as he held out a hand in a weak attempt at keeping the gunman at bay. Lena’s eyes held a glint of curiosity behind her mask as she watched the exchange below, as the younger guy unslung the backpack, slowly opening it to reveal several bricks of cocaine before zipping it up and tossing it into the middle of the space between him and the gunman. Lena could see the man sight down the length of his pistol, and adjust his grip, and she knew he was going to shoot this guy, even though he had delivered the drugs that had been promised. With an almost imperceptible sigh, Lena tugged at the rope she had clipped to the rungs of the ladder on the fire escape, checking to make sure it was secured and safely attached to her belt. Climbing to her feet, she turned and jumped off the edge of the roof, rappelling down the side of the building until she dropped down onto the lid of a dumpster with a bang.

 

           Both men turned to look at her at the bang, the one with the gun training his weapon on her, while the other one scrambled backwards. Unclipping the thin rope from her belt, Lena jumped down onto the asphalt, her steel-toed boots crunching on the broken glass that littered the ground. “I wouldn’t,” Lena told the gunman, her voice coming out deep and slightly robotic at the voice distorter that she’d installed into the mask.

 

           At first she’d worn the balaclava that Jack had, and any sort of plain black clothes she could fight in, but it was only temporary. Lena was nothing if not practical and a perfectionist, and she soon set about pooling together all of her resources to put together a proper costume. The first thing she’d done was make a thin mask that perfectly moulded to her face, in a carbon fibre tri-weave that she’d developed at L-Corp. It had taken some testing, but she’d managed to created a hooded jerkin and pants in the same material, coupled with a thin layer of Kevlar sewn into it, and it was virtually bulletproof and resistant to knives and other sharp objects. It was fireproof too, and Lena was glad for it after a few mistaken trips into crack dens that had ended up going up in flames. It had taken her months to perfect the costume, and in that time, she had honed her skills, and made a reputation for her alter-ego in the city.

 

           Unclipping two metal poles from her back, she clicked the two halves into place and twirled the staff in her hands. The dim light caught the shiny metal of the staff and the easy way that Lena handled it, and she saw the flicker of doubt in the gunman’s eyes.

 

           And then he shot her.

 

           Cursing, Lena stumbled backwards, keeping a tight grip on her staff as she gritted her teeth at the pain in her shoulder. Her suit might’ve stopped the bullet, but it didn’t stop the force, and she knew it would bruise. Finding her balance quickly, Lena kicked the gun out of the man’s hand, followed by another quick turn and kick straight to his jaw. Whirling her staff around, she blocked his punch, kicking him in the knee and then smashing the middle of the staff into his nose. Dazed, the man stumbled backwards, blood dripping from his nose as he fell back against the brick wall. Walking towards him, Lena pressed the staff against his neck, and a flicker of panic crossed the man’s face as he looked down at the pole out of the corner of his eye.

 

           “Please, don’t kill me,” the man begged, swallowing thickly as Lena applied pressure against his throat. He let out a strangled sound and Lena let out a snort of laughter, before gripping a handful of his hair and smashing his head against the wall. He dropped like a sack of stones, and she rounded on the cowering drug mule.

 

           “Y-you’re _him_ ,” the man said, crouched beside the dumpster with one hand raised in a pitiful attempt of a defence as Lena stalked towards him, casting a large shadow, “th-the Shadow.”

 

           Rolling her eyes at the ridiculous nickname, and the assumption that she was a man, Lena grabbed pulled him to his feet and looked him in the eye. With a steel-knuckled gloved hand she struck him across the side of the face, watching him crumple to the ground. With a sigh, she heaved and dragged him to the middle of the alley, zip tying his hands behind his back, and then dragged the gunman over too, zip tying him and then tying them both together. Collecting the discarded gun and the bag of cocaine, Lena made a neat pile nearby, and then dissembled her staff and returned the two parts to the magnetic strips on her back. Plucking a burner phone from the drug mule’s pocket, Lena dialled the cops and gave them the address of the alleyway, before hanging up and dropping the phone to the asphalt, crushing it underfoot.

 

           Walking back a few steps, Lena took a running start towards the wall opposite her, kicking herself upwards as she reached for the lower rungs of the rusted ladder of the fire escape. Hauling herself up the rickety ladder, hand over hand, Lena reached the first landing and the briskly walked up the rest of the stairs. At the top, she unclipped the rope and methodically began to reel it in, tying it into a neat bundle and attaching it back on her belt. With a weary sigh, Lena decided to call it a night. It was well past midnight, and this was her fourth bout of justice of the night and she was tired. She had a board meeting in the morning, and she needed some rest.

 

           Slowly, Lena jogged over to the edge of the building, picking up speed as she went, until she had enough momentum to cross the gap between the next alley, landing in a roll to break her fall. Making her way across rooftops, over big vents and under pipes, Lena made for the docks, taking a roundabout route that took her far out of her way, just in case she was being followed.

 

           She only made it a few blocks away when she heard a flapping sound, collapsing to her stomach just in time to avoid being tackled by a red blur streaking towards her. Scrambling up onto all fours, Lena looked up, her eyes sparking with anger behind the lenses of her mask. The cybernetics in the lenses automatically adjusted to the dark, and had a sensor system that was able to track anything that came into her field of vision. As she looked up, a green target locked onto the figure touching down on the roof before her, and Lena took in the cheap cotton cape and the plain blue top tucked into the red skirt. Lena let out a small laugh at the bright red sneakers on the girl’s feet, the sound coming out slightly robotic, and saw the girl’s face crumple into a deep scowl as she looked at Lena. Dusting off the palms of her gloves hands, Lena stared down the girl, a feeling of curiosity welling up inside her; she could _fly_. They stared at each other in tense silence for a few moments, and Lena was as still as a statue, but wound tight and ready to spring into action as soon as the girl moved so much as an inch. Her goggles were closely trained on her hands, waiting for the girl to move so much as a muscle. Lena’s hand twitched near the knife strapped to her thigh, but she didn’t draw it – not yet.

 

           “You’re the Shadow?” the girl asked, puffing her chest out as she put her hands on her hips and proudly raised her chin.

 

           “Oh I can assure you, I’m very real,” Lena told her, a smile curling her lips beneath the mask. Whispers of the masked vigilante had spread throughout the city, her face never seen beneath it. No one knew who she was, and so the tabloids had come up with the nickname, and now everyone just called her the Shadow.

 

           With a wary look on her face, the girl narrowed her eyes slightly. “You’re a vigilante – you’re interfering with the law.”

 

           “To some people, a vigilante is a hero,” Lena replied, shrugging slightly, “or would you disagree that you’re a hero, Supergirl?” The girl started at the nickname, blinking in surprise, and Lena’s smile grew slightly. “Yes, I’ve heard of you in the tabloids. You saved that plane a few weeks ago. Perhaps you would be so kind as to fuck off back to wherever you were hiding. This is my area; I protect it.”

 

           To Lena’s alarm, this Supergirl let loose a laser beam that struck the rooftop a few feet before Lena’s boots. Willing herself not to react, Lena stiffened, her heart racing in her chest. “I'll give you one chance to back down. Stop what you're doing or I'll make you.”

 

           “Piss off,” Lena swore, yanking the dagger from her thigh and settling into a crouch as she clenched her teeth and curled her lips back. She didn’t even have the chance to react as the girl flew at her, tackling her around her waist and sending them soaring backwards. As they crashed to the rooftop, Lena rolled backwards as she landed, crouching as she tightened her fingers around the knife. Supergirl looked at her with a determined look on her face, and Lena threw the knife, watching as the blade struck the girl’s shoulder, crumpling on itself and clattering to the ground. Eyes widening in surprise, Lena scrambled backwards as the girl slowly stalked towards her, reaching the edge of the rooftop. Without even thinking, Lena spun around, swinging her legs over the side of the building and peering over the edge for a split second, before jumping off and falling three stories, down into a pile of garbage bags that were filled with rotting food and rubbish. The bags softened her landing slightly, but Lena was retching at the smell as she rolled off, clutching her ribs as she muttered a curse. Stumbling as she found her feet, she cast a quick glance upwards, her sensors targeting in on a shadowy figure floating twenty feet above her, and Lena swore again as she darted down the alley as fast as she could.

 

           Running out of the mouth of the alley, Lena ran straight into the road, the headlights of a rapidly approaching car momentarily blinding her as the sound of a loud horn blaring rang in her ears. Jumping and sliding along the bonnet of the car, Lena ran across the street and disappeared into the nearest alley across the street. As fast as she could, Lena made her way through a warren of streets and alleys, trying to lose herself in the city, before her new caped friend found her again. She ran until her lungs burned, and then she pushed herself to go even further, running in circles and random patterns, until the sky was a shade lighter than the inky blackness of night. The sun would be rising soon, and she needed to get off the streets.

 

\---

 

           As the apartment blocks, convenience stores and cheap diners gave way to the more industrial area of the city, the smell of the harbour drifted towards Lena –salt and burning metal – and the warehouses lining the seafront came into view. Scaling the sides of a chain-link fence surrounding one of them, Lena let herself into the empty parking lot of one of the warehouses, sticking to the shadows of the buildings as she slipped through the darkness. Climbing onto a large shed bolted to the outside of one of the outer warehouses, Lena scrambled up onto the roof, creeping along and jumping onto the next building over. She crossed the assortment of buildings until she came to the main one, and removed the opening of one of the vents, crawling into the large opening and sliding down into the building. Crawling through the vents, she came out in a small office overlooking the rest of the warehouse, holding nothing but a couple of desks, a chair and half a dozen monitors and screens. Breezing past them, Lena quickly walked out onto the long walkway and down to the rooms at the other end of the warehouse.

 

           Inside the long room, Lena unstuck the two halves of her staff, connecting the two pieces and returning it to its stand. Unzipping her jerkin and stripping it off, Lena peeled off the mask, which clung to her sweaty skin, and then slipped off her boots off. Unclipping buckles and holsters, she soon had a pile of knee and elbow pads, various small weapons and other gear, which she began to carefully stow away. Reaching for a pair of jeans, Lena slipped them on and into a pair of heeled boots, more appropriate for a CEO, and zipped a leather jacket up over the thin black sports shirt clinging to her sweaty skin. Picking up a motorbike helmet, Lena made sure everything was back in its place, before she flipped the lights off and made her way back up through the vent shafts, replacing the vent when she was back on the roof. She owned all of the warehouses in this compound, having bought them all last year when she needed somewhere to set up her base of operations, and Lena was careful to make sure that there was nothing tying her to the place in case she ever came under investigation. Already, there were too many people on her tail, including a troubling superhero. A _genuine_ superhero, with powers and a poxy cape and all. Lena scowled as she made her way over to a small garage on the outskirts of the compound, looking up at the lightening sky, and thought about this _Supergirl._ She would be a problem, she knew it, and Lena also happened to know that there was only one other superhero she knew who could shoot lasers from his eyes, and she knew just where to dig up some information on her new rival.

 

           Kicking the motorbike to life, Lena rode out through the gates, heading towards a safe house where she could switch to another car, before returning to her apartment. She had a plan forming in her mind as she drove through the city, cursing at the fact that she wouldn't be able to catch a few hours sleep before work. She would have to make do with some strong coffee instead, because she had more important matters to deal with; her suit was in need of some serious upgrades.

 

           Lena wasn’t willing to back down without a fight.

 

\---

 

           Sat behind her desk at the top of the L-Corp building, Lena typed away at her laptop, bringing up all of the research that her brother had done on the Kryptonian alien that he had encountered. Shifting in her seat, Lena hissed in pain as her ribs protested and her shoulder ached – her escapades in the early hours of that morning hadn’t exactly gone to plan. She quickly popped two pills in her mouth and washed them down with water, her tired eyes lighting up with fierce determination as she read over Lex’s research on Kryptonian physiology, finding that his research would be very helpful indeed. Pressing the number to dial the receptionist’s desk outside her office, Lena waited for Jess to answer.

 

           “Bring me all the research we have on green kryptonite,” Lena told her, pausing to add before hanging up, “and Jess ... be discreet.”

 

           The next time she encountered her new rival, they would be on more equal footing.


	3. Chapter 3

           Lena laid low for a week while she made adjustments to her outfit, cursing out Supergirl as she let the criminals of the city run free while she worked. Her ribs and shoulder were badly bruised too though, and she hadn’t been sleeping much, so Lena begrudgingly accepted the fact that it was probably for the best, but she still hated to leave the streets undefended. All she hoped was that Supergirl was living up to the annoying reputation she had garnered in the media and was keeping the city safe in Lena’s absence. She hated to share, but just this once, she was willing to let someone else on her turf. Anything to keep innocent people safe.

 

           Holding one of the gloves carefully in her hands, Lena unstitched the leather across the knuckles, where pieces of steel were placed to give her punches a bit of extra force behind them. Carefully, Lena pulled the pieces of steel out, and picked up one of the green studs she’d created from her brother’s secret cache of kryptonite. From her readings of Lex’s research, she’d found out the just being in the vicinity of the substance would weaken any Kryptonian - and while Lena wasn’t a killer, she wasn’t above levelling the playing field and knocking her new rival on her ass. She’d also learnt that the alien girl had x-ray vision, but couldn’t see through lead, and her sensitive hearing would help her pick up on Lena’s distinct heartbeat. Being new to this whole thing, Lena assumed that the girl was out of practice with her powers, which was why she hadn’t been found at her warehouse or apartment yet, and so Lena took the extra measures to line her mask with a thin sheet of lead, and install a noise distorter right over her chest to interfere with her heartbeat. She wasn’t too sure how the second addition would work out, but if it helped her stay anonymous even in the slightest, then Lena was going to try it.

 

           By the end of the night, she had finished her new fully upgraded suit, completely laced with green kryptonite emiters, and with lead in as many places as possible. Suiting up, Lena did some basic kicks and flips, and then got her staff and twirled it around, to make sure that her movements weren’t inhibited by the alterations. Satisfied that she’d be able to still take down anyone else, Lena slipped the costume off and replaced it on its stand, before turning her attention to the glowing green kryptonite that she had left over. Pouring a measure of vodka into a glass, Lena walked back over to her work bench, taking a sip of the burning liquor, before she picked up one of the knife hilts she’d already made. Setting it back down, Lena drank the rest of her drink and slipped the visor of the welding mask down over her face, before pulling the chunk of kryptonite towards her.

 

           The sun was starting to peek over the horizon by the time that Lena had an array of green knives, daggers, throwing discs and attachable blades for the end of her staff. The next time she encountered her caped friend, she wasn’t going to get away with it so easily. Lena’s entire costume exuded green kryptonite, and she was almost praying that this Supergirl would show up later on that night so Lena could show her just who she really was.

 

\---

 

           Leaving L-Corp relatively early, Lena made for the dojo she frequented almost every day. Pushing open the battered door, she walked into the warm entryway and walked down the familiar hallway, listening to the sounds of thuds and shouts of a lesson being conducted in the main room. Lena poked her head inside, taking in the perfect rows of white uniforms, and the black uniformed woman at the front, demonstrating the punches and kicks and watching as her students copied her. Giving Roulette a quick wave, Lena backed out of the room again and made for the next room over, filled with boxing bags, mats and wooden dummy’s. Setting her bag down and taking off her coat, Lena began to wrap her hands, before she began to slowly warm up her muscles.

 

           By the time that Roulette joined her in the room, with a few people from the class who wanted to get in some extra practice, Lena had already worked up a sweat boxing out all her frustration, and was currently striking the dummy and blocking the wooden poles as they swung around to hit her in retaliation. “I missed you at class yesterday,” Roulette said, raising her eyebrows slightly as she walked over to Lena.

 

           “Work stuff,” Lena said, taking a break and running a hand over her forehead. She wouldn’t exactly call Roulette a friend, but she was as close to one that Lena had, and Lena kind of liked her no nonsense attitude and the way she didn’t fawn over the CEO. Roulette treated her like the rest of her students, and Lena was somewhat grateful for it, letting the woman push her further. She had been coming to the dojo for years now, ever since she’d been mugged the first week her mother had moved the family out to National City when Lena was a teenager, and she’d soon started to bring Jack along too. Roulette had been patient with them, teaching her everything she knew and correcting Lena’s form, until she had advanced all the way up to a black belt in Lama martial arts. Roulette was half Tibetan and had taught her the traditional fighting ways of the Tibetan monks, including stick fighting, and once Lena had taken it upon herself to become a vigilante, she had taken up tumbling and parkour training too.

 

           “You up for sparring?”

 

           Lena nodded, and the two of them walked over to one of the mats and stood opposite each other in slight crouches. Dodging the first couple of blows, Lena soon found herself spinning and ducking for her life as Roulette came for her, but she managed to get in a few blows too, which struck nothing but air as Roulette quickly dodged her. They sparred until they were both breathing heavily, and then Roulette brought out the sticks, and they went a few more rounds with them, giving Lena tips and correcting her form until she got it right. By the time they were finished, Lena could feel at least a dozen more bruises blossoming on her skin, and she decided to call it a night; she had other work to do.

 

           “You coming in tomorrow?” Roulette asked as Lena wiped her sweaty face with a small towel.

 

           “Mm, probably,” Lena said, giving her a small smile, “night, Ronnie.”

 

           Tilting her head to the side slightly, Roulette gave her a slight smirk, “stay safe, Lena. And get some rest – you look like shit.” Laughing at the blunt honesty, Lena spread her hands in a helpless gesture, slinging her duffle bag over one shoulder and jamming her motorbike helmet onto her head.

 

           “Working nights is hard work,” Lena said, walking backwards towards the door, before she gave Roulette a quick wave and disappeared through it. Sometimes she had the feeling that her teacher knew more than she was letting on, almost as if she knew that the Shadow wasn’t a man, as if she knew that it was one of her students. Lena prayed that she didn’t, because if people found out … well, she was the CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company, and it wouldn’t bode well for her _or_ the business if she found herself in an orange jumpsuit alongside her brother.

 

\---

 

           Sat on the fire escape of an apartment block, Lena swang her legs back and forth as she tuned into police radios, listening for any trouble. It had been a slow night so far, and she was _bored,_ even a stolen purse would be exciting at this point. Letting out a huff of frustration, Lena rested her chin in her hand, almost pouting beneath the mask like a petulant child. As Lena was about to call it a night and go home to sleep, she picked up an alert for a robbery a few blocks away, and a slow smile spread across her face as she climbed to her feet.

 

           She was there within in minutes, unclipping her staff from her back and fitting it together with practices ease. The front window of the bank had been broken, and an alarm split the quiet of the night, and Lena leapt through the empty window frame, her boots crunching on shards of glass as she landed inside.

 

           “Stop!” she ordered the four masked men, and they all turned to look at her, taking in the small stature and the blunt staff. She was no real threat to them and their guns – or so they thought.

 

           “You’re this Shadow, huh?” one of the men asked, levelling a gun at her, “I thought you’d be taller.”

 

           The sensors on the mask lenses picking up his muscles tightening on the trigger, Lena slid forward on her knees, before bracing herself on one elbow and kicking up at his wrist. The gun clattered to the ground, and Lena flipped herself up onto her feet, blocking a punch from the man and ducking as another fired a shot at her. She staggered slightly as one of the bullets struck her in the back, stopped by the Kevlar and the stiff tri-weave fabric of her jerkin. Whirling her staff around, she struck the gun out of the man’s hand and turned to whack another across the face.

 

           “Stop!” a voice rang out as Lena pushed off the wall for some momentum and kicked the other man in the face as she spun around mid-air. Landing in a crouch, Lena let out a groan, the sound coming out distorted by her voice modifier, and looked up to see the red caped girl touching down outside the broken window. Her blue eyes were staring intently at Lena, who stared back from behind her mask. “You again,” the girl angrily said, stepping into the bank. Lena noticed the red boots and the new cloak, realising that she wasn’t the only person who had had an upgrade over the past week. “I thought I told you to _stay away_.”

 

           Slowly rising to her feet, kicking out with one steel-toed boot to kick one of the rising men back into unconsciousness, Lena squared off against the girl. “Did I not make myself clear last time?” Lena asked, tilting her head to the side, “this is _my_ city. I was here first, and I’m not going to stop.”

 

           “Then I’ll have to make you.”

 

           Lena’s lips curled up into a smile, “I’d like to see you try.”

 

           “I’ll do more than _try_ ,” the girl said, her scowl deepening, “what you are doing is _illegal_. I’ll hand you over to the cops if you don’t stop. I know they’d love to get their hands on you.”

 

           “Illegal? That’s a little hypocritical don’t you think? A bit of the pot calling the kettle black, considering that you’re doing _exactly_ what I do.”

 

           “I’m not some common criminal running around with a mask on,” Supergirl scoffed, looking almost offended at the thought.

 

           Lena let out a robotic laugh, “no, but your face is quite … _memorable_. Perhaps you _should_ get a mask. One of these days, someone will find out who you are, and if you think the cops would like to get ahold of me … well, I can imagine what the government would do to get their hands on an actual alien.”

 

           “Please, you couldn’t take me down if you tried.”

 

           “Well, you said it first – I’ll do more than try,” and then Lena plucked one of the green edged throwing discs from one of the pouches on her belt and sent it sailing towards Supergirl with the flick of her wrist, watching as the glowing green disc cut through the air and left a shallow cut on the girl’s cheek.

 

           She looked at Lena in horror, bringing one hand up to her cheek as if she couldn’t believe that it had _actually_ cut her. The terror in her eyes was enough to make Lena falter for a second as her fingers itched to draw out one of the green blades and fit it to the end of her staff.

 

           “Kryptonite,” Supergirl breathlessly murmured, her face two shades paler than it had been a moment ago, “h-how did you-“ She cut off mid-sentence and her fear turned into a hard mask of anger as she stared at Lena with such anger that Lena made a quick silent prayer to whichever gods existed that her armour would hold out.

 

           A moment later she was being smashed into the wall behind her, the plaster giving way beneath the force the Lena was propelled back into it. She felt at least two of her ribs crack and ground her teeth together to stop a shout of pain, slamming her wrist into the wall to activate the kryptonite emitters embedded into the suit. The hand around her throat, holding her against the wall, loosened slightly as a small gasp fell past the girl’s lips.

 

           Weakening at the green kryptonite that radiated from Lena’s suit, Supergirl stumbled backwards and Lena sucked in a wheezing breath as the hand fell away from her throat. Her adjustments were working. Snapping the staff in half, Lena put both halves back on her back before she stalked towards Supergirl, who was standing still, ready to snap into action. Pulling a small green knife out of a hidden sheath, twirling it in her hand, before she rushed forward. Rough hand grabbed her as she came within reach, and, even with the kryptonite weakening her, Supergirl tossed Lena out through the broken window. Rolling as she struck the road, Lena winced, struggling to breath as she pushed herself onto all fours, looking up in alarm as headlights shone right in her face.

 

           She was staring at the back of a red cape a moment later as two hands clamped down on the bonnet of the car, stopping it in its tracks with a loud squealing noise as the wheels span. Seizing the opportunity, Lena kicked Supergirl in the back of her knees, watching them buckle beneath at the touch of the kryptonite lace steel-caps. Letting go of the car, Supergirl turned and frowned down at Lena, reaching down to pull her to her feet by the front of her jerkin. Jabbing the tiny knife into the shoulder of the girl’s suit, Lena wrenched herself backwards, but not fast enough to avoid a fist to the left side of her face that knocked her off her feet. The kryptonite might’ve weakened the girl a lot, but not enough to stop the force of the punch from cracking and crumpling the side of Lena’s mask, sending pain blossoming over the side of her face as she scrambled forward, trying to put some distance between her and Supergirl.

 

           At the sound of boots clicking on the road, Lena reached for a small canister on her belt, pulling the pin and watching as a cloud of green smoke erupted from the canister, engulfing Supergirl in it. Scrambling to her feet, Lena ran off, leaving the girl choking in the green gas while horns honked and the owner of the car yelled at her for denting the bonnet. Making for the nearest alleyway, Lena ducked into it and set off back towards the docks, cloaked by the veil of darkness.

 

\---

 

           She made it back to her apartment before midnight for once, wincing at the pain that spread over her face, back and ribs as she crept up the emergency staircase and let herself into her apartment. With the lights off, she stumbled through the kitchen and living room, heading towards her bedroom and straight into the ensuite. Flicking on the bathroom light, Lena winced as she looked at herself in the huge mirror above the sink. Her cheek and lips were cut up where the lead in the middle layer of her mask had broken through the stiff fabric of the mask and sliced through her skin at the force of the punch, and she was already sporting a purplish bruise around her eye that she knew would be black by tomorrow morning.

 

           Walking over to the bath, she put in the plug and started to run the hot water to help soothe her muscles. With a shaking hand Lena began to pull off the thin nylon shirt she was wearing, sighing at the tears and rips in the fabric from where she’d been tossed about like a ragdoll. Stripping off the rest of her clothes, Lena shut the bathroom door and looked at her reflection in the full length mirror, wincing as she took in the dark bruise covering her ribs - she was sure they weren’t broken, but definitely cracked – and turned around to look at the dark perfect circle on her back where the bullet had struck her. The rest of her was covered in more bruises, some from sparring with Roulette, others from parkour and tumbling classes, and more still from all of the criminals she fought on a near daily basis. Those ones were already starting to fade, having not been out in a week, but there were newer ones from the few punches she’s sustained from the bank robber’s tonight, but they paled in comparison to the Kryptonian’s hard punches.

 

           Muttering curses under her breath, Lena walked over to the bath and slipped into the hot water. It was a little bit too hot, but she didn’t care, she just stared blankly ahead as she let the water turn her pale skin red. Slowly, the tension began to leach out of her muscles and all of Lena’s aches and pains began to fade away. With a sigh, she turned slightly to look at the figure she could see out of the corner of her eye.

 

           “Go away,” she mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head to get rid of the hallucination. The shadowy figure of Jack just stood there though, and Lena knew it wasn’t him – she’d watched him die right in front of her – and it was nothing more than a trick of her mind, a part of the grief that she was still trying to process almost a year onwards. Sometimes she would see him in crowds, a flicker out of the corner of her eyes, or in business meetings, or whenever she saw her mom. At times when she felt stressed or anxious, he would appear, like a reminder of the worst that could happen.

 

           Opening her eyes again, Lena stared straight ahead, ignoring the figure in the corner of her eyes, and she sucked in a deep breath, slipping down into the water and letting it cover her completely. Holding her breath, Lena counted the seconds as they ticked by, trying to beat her record as she trained herself to be able to stay underwater, on the off chance that she found herself stuck. When she resurfaced five minutes later, the ghostly spectre was gone, and Lena wrapped herself in a fluffy white towel, climbing out of the bath and watching the water swirl down the drain.

 

           Dressed in a pair of warm pyjamas, Lena swallowed two pills, chasing them down with some water, and picked up her phone. She had three missed calls off her mother, another off her secretary, Jess, along with a follow up text to tell her about a rescheduled meeting tomorrow, and another text to remind her about a rock climbing event at the local place that she frequented. Ignoring all of them, Lena took out her contacts and collapsed onto the bed, feeling her pain dull as the pills kicked into effect. The last thought she had as she drifted off to sleep was about Supergirl. She didn’t wear a mask, and Lena was determined to find out who she was, even if she kept getting her ass handed to her. She wouldn't stop what she was doing - not for anyone - and she sure as hell wouldn't stop because some flying alien was being a hypocrite. Besides, Lena had kryptonite now, and it  _worked._


	4. Chapter 4

            The next morning, Lena got out of bed with much groaning and cursing as her muscles protested, and she walked into the bathroom, struggling to open her left eye, which was swollen from the punch she’d sustained yesterday. She hated to admit it, but she didn’t think she’d be able to physically match Supergirl – even with her green kryptonite weapons – but she was _smart_ , and she would have to use her brain to come up with a way to keep her at bay. The emitters didn’t give off enough kryptonite to fully weaken her, and the little knife Lena had cut her with had worked better, but still not quite as well as she’d been hoping. The gas though … that had worked _perfectly._ It seemed that inhaling it had had worse effects on her, and Lena contemplated different ways to use the kryptonite on her while she took a quick shower, gratefully feeling the ache in her muscles lessen under the soothing hot water.

 

            Climbing out, she wrapped a towel around herself and stared at herself in the mirror. The left side of her face was covered in a massive dark bruise, her eye black and swollen, and Lena winced as she poked herself on the cheek, hissing in pain as the cuts on her cheek stung. A quick look down at her chest told her that her ribs were also badly bruised – maybe not quite as bad, but still painful – and Lena knew that there was no way she could go into the office today. Heading back into her bedroom, she picked up her phone, ignoring the two missed calls off her mother, and dialled Jess’ number as she made her way to her closet.

 

_“Good morning, ma’am.”_

 

            “I’m not coming in today,” Lena replied, cutting straight to the chase, “cancel all my appointments please.”

 

_“Would you like me to reschedule any of them, ma’am?”_

 

            Lena hesitated, “the meeting with American Steel. Next week. Make sure they’re going to back out of the deal.”

 

 _“Of course, ma’am,”_ Jess assured her, _“is there anything you need me to bring to you?”_

 

            “No, thank you,” Lena said, before she hung up.

 

            Sighing, Lena pulled a plain white shirt and casual pants off the hangers, and quickly got changed, dumping her clothes in the laundry basket for her housekeeper to take care of when she came in on the weekend. Snagging her glasses, Lena slipped them on and walked out of her room. Determined to find out more about this Supergirl, Lena walked to the kitchen, brewed a cup of coffee and stalked off to her office. Sitting behind her desk, she watched as her computer turned on, savouring the taste of the bitter coffee on her tongue as she waited. As soon as it turned on, she leapt to work, hacking into as many of the city’s servers as possible while she ran a search on the Shadow. There were a few new videos from last night, and while she waited for her software to hack into security cameras around the city, Lena brought one of them up.

 

            The footage was shaky – filmed on a phone being held by a scared or excited observer – and Lena winced as she watched herself go flying through the window, spilling across the road as she landed hard. The angle showed what she’d missed as she struggled to breathe, and Lena leant in slightly, pushing her glasses up her nose as she watched the girl’s hands slam down onto the bonnet of the car, leaving dents the size of her hands. Making out the number plate in the blurry video, Lena hacked into one of the police server’s and ran the plate, coming up with the number for a cab company, and Lena quickly picked up her phone.

 

 _“National City Cabs,”_ a bored woman spoke into the phone.

 

            “My name’s Detective Tess Mercer with NCPD. We’re investigating an incident last night with one of your cabs and I’d like to check when would be a suitable time to come down and examine the cab.”

 

_“Of course, Detective. Um, well, the cab is parked here, and we can make in available to you whenever you’re free to make it down here.”_

 

            A slow smile spread across Lena’s face, and she brought up some of the surveillance footage from around the bank. Rewinding through the footage of the early hours of the morning, Lena went right up to the point where Supergirl stepped backwards through the broken window and shot back up into the sky, and then Lena played it forwards again. “Perfect. I’ll be down there as soon as possible.”

 

            Hanging up, Lena peered at the screen and rewound it again, looking at the angle at which Supergirl came from. Scanning the surveillance of the next block over, she saw a streak flying across the sky, and smiled – she could trace this Supergirl back to where she came from. Drinking her coffee, she went camera by camera, until she lost track of her. Shoving her mouse away, Lena banged her hand on the desk. “Fuck!”

 

            Running a hand through her hair, Lena ground her teeth together in her frustration. With a sigh, she climbed to her feet and stormed back through her apartment, pulling on a pair of boots and fetching her coat. Walking into her closet, she moved aside a rack filled with coats in an array of dark colours, revealing a safe set into the wall. Opening it, Lena sifted through the wads of cash and documents, until she came up with a stack of fake ID’s. Finding the one for the police department, Lena tucked it into her pocket, and debated whether or not she should take one of the guns she had hidden around the apartment, ultimately deciding that getting caught carrying a hidden gun without a license for it wasn’t worth the risk. Surely a cab company wouldn’t question her too closely.

 

            Rushing downstairs, Lena unlocked one of her cars – the black Range Rover to blend in a bit - and slid into the driver’s seat, pressing the button for the ignition and revving the engine, before she peeled out of the garage. Joining the early morning flow of traffic, Lena made her way towards the cab company as quickly as she could, hoping that the cops hadn’t got there first. It looked like luck was on her side this morning, because as she pulled up in the parking lot full of cabs, there were no cop cars in sight, and the cab with the dented bonnet was parked off to one side. Climbing out of her car, Lena walked across the parking lot and let herself into the squat office, the commercial linoleum squeaking beneath her boots as she walked over to the desk. She fiddled with the ID in her pocket, hoping that the glasses on her face, and the ugly coloured bruise, would afford her some disguise as she looked at the older woman behind the desk. Her age was a small comfort to Lena – most old people wouldn’t know who she was, because none of them were really interested in technology.

 

            Pulling out the ID, Lena quickly opened it, flashing the fake badge before putting it back in her pocket. “Detective Mercer, NCPD,” Lena brusquely introduced herself, “I’m here about the cab that was damaged last night.”

 

            “Oh, yes, of course,” the woman said, standing up from the desk chair and rounding the desk. She led Lena back outside and over to the cab, and Lena walked to the front end of the car, running her fingers over the edges of the dents, but making sure she didn’t touch the middle.

 

            “A tow truck will be here to take the car into our possession,” Lena said, “it’s now part of an ongoing investigation, and we expect you to cooperate fully.”

 

            The woman was nodding intently, a serious look on her face, “of course, Detective.”

 

            Lena nodded, fishing her keys out of her pocket, “thank you. Have a good day, ma’am.”

 

\---

 

            The elevator doors opened and Lena froze, the  _last_ person she wanted to see right now standing a few paces away outside the door to her apartment. Her mother. Lillian had turned around at the sound of the doors sliding open, and as Lena pressed the close button, she stepped forward and put her hand in, opening them again.

 

            “I’ve been calling you,” Lillian crossly said, a frown on her face as she looked at Lena, who had her hair covering as much of her face as possible as she looked slightly to the left.

 

            “I’ve been busy,” Lena muttered, resigning herself to having to see her mother as she stepped out of the elevator. Brushing past her, Lena fished her keys out of her pocket and slid them into the lock, opening the front door and stepping into the shadowy hallway. The sound of her mother’s footsteps followed her down the hallway, and as they walked into the living room Lena walked over to the coatrack and took off her coat. “What’re you doing here, mom?”

 

            “You skipped therapy,” Lillian said.

 

            Lena sharply turned to look at her, a spark of anger in her eyes, “you have Doctor Marsh _spying_ on me?”

 

            “It’s not spying,” Lillian curtly replied, “a receptionist called the house to ask if you would be going to your next session – you haven’t updated your details – and it can only mean that you skipped.”

 

            “I told you, I’ve been busy,” Lena muttered, ducking her head back down as she walked past Lillian. Her mom reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks, and Lena looked up as she wrenched her arm back. Sighing, Lillian reached out to push Lena’s hair out of her face, too quick for Lena to stop her.

 

            “What on _earth_ happened to you?” Lillian exploded, and Lena winced slightly as her mom’s eyes roamed her face, taking in the black and blue bruises as she looked at her daughter with an aghast look on her face.

 

            Walking into the kitchen, Lena pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and took a sip, ignoring her mom’s question as she fiddled with the bottle cap. Shoulders tense, Lena hunched over the counter, keeping her head down.

 

            “Lena!” Lillian snapped, walking closer and leaning on the edge of the counter.

 

            Sighing, Lena looked up at her, “it’s nothing. Just from martial arts.”

 

            “You _cannot_ go to meetings looking like _that!”_ Lillian spluttered, gesturing at Lena’s face.

 

            “I know, that’s why I cancelled the ones I had today,” Lena said matter-of-factly, raising her eyebrows slightly.

 

            Lillian opened and closed her mouth a few times, a tight expression on her face as she tried to stamp down her temper. She was clearly fuming though, and Lena let out another heavy sigh as she waited for her mom’s sharp words. “You’re being irresponsible and reckless. You never used to look like this when you went to your silly classes – why are you doing this now? I thought taking over the company might help, but you’re even _worse_ than you were before Ja-“

 

            “Don’t,” Lena said, her voice a low warning.

 

            “You promised to go to therapy if you were going to take on being CEO, that was part of our agreement, and now I come here to find you looking like you’ve been _mugged_!” If you don’t pull yourself together, you’ll find yourself being overthrown by the board _and_ back in that place.”

 

            Lena’s eyes widened slightly at the threat, and her eyes burned with anger as she looked at her mom. “You wouldn’t _dare_ ,” Lena furiously whispered.

 

            “Wouldn’t I?” Lillian challenged her, raising her chin slightly as she looked down at her daughter. “I just want what’s best for you, and if this … reckless behaviour and irresponsibility continues, putting you back in there might be what’s best. They can help you in there, Lena.”

 

            “You don’t give a shit about what’s best for me,” Lena snorted, taking another sip of water as she looked at her mom with amusement. “And I don’t _need_ to be put back in hospital. I’m fine … I’ve gotten over him.”

 

            Scoffing, Lillian gave her a withering look, “well we both know that’s not true. Either you get your act together, or I’ll take all of … this,” she gestured around the apartment, “away from you. The board will listen to me, and so will the doctors. Go to therapy, go to your meetings, and _stop_ going to those ridiculous classes. Listen to me, Lena. I’m just trying to help.”

 

            “Always a pleasure, mother,” Lena dismissively replied, fixing her gaze on the painting on the wall across from her. She knew that Lillian would follow through with her threats if she thought it was what was best for the family – after all, she had stepped down as CEO to let her ‘good’ child rebuild the company image, and she’d also put Lena into hospital for a few weeks when the loss of Jack had been too much for her to cope with alone. She was okay now though; she didn’t see hallucinations of him as much, and it didn’t hurt as much either. She was grieving for him normally now, and the thought of leaving her apartment didn’t scare her anymore. She didn’t _need_ to go back there.

 

            Unbeknownst to Lillian, Lena’s vigilante activity was actually helping her cope with Jack’s death better – she was still intent on finding out who had killed him – and knowing that she was fulfilling his dying wish made losing him more bearable. It helped ease her conscience. She would carry on what he had attempted to start, and in the process, she got to feel better about herself, as if beating up criminals was some form of self-validation that made her feel useful. It made her feel good. No one could take it away from her; not her mother, and not Supergirl.

 

            Staring at her daughter with a look of concern on her face, Lillian hesitated, before hoisting her bag up on her shoulder and turning around. She paused at the mouth of the hallway, looking back over at Lena, who was still staring at the painting, one hand gingerly placed on her ribs while the left side of her face remained unrecognisable. “Come home if you need anything.”

 

            Lena didn’t so much as acknowledge that Lillian was still there, but she flinched internally at the thought of going home. After Jack had died, it was Lillian who had found her in her apartment, with her ragged short hair and dead eyes that stared blankly straight ahead. She had spent two weeks in hospital, before she was released and sent to therapy to handle her grief, and Lillian had made her stay at the Luthor estate, which, if anything, made Lena feel worse as she tried to process her grief. She didn’t just see hallucinations of Jack there – the memories of her father and brother haunted her there too. She wouldn’t go home again, not for anything.

 

            The sound of the front door slamming shut broke Lena out of her thoughts, and she slowly turned, looking at the hallway her mother had just left through, before slipping off her boots and walking to her office. She still had a caped hero to find.

 

\---

 

            She took the next two days off too, spending it at the warehouse, where she made herself a new mask and made some adjustments to her outfit. Obsessed with finding out who this alien was pretending to be in their spare time, Lena spent hours watching videos on YouTube, or tracking stories as Supergirl rescued kittens and put out fires with her freeze breath. It looked like she was starting to get control of her powers.

 

            Still, Lena couldn’t figure out where she was hiding, and it frustrated her to no end. She didn’t leave the warehouse until the early hours of the third day, exhausted and irritable as she went home to get ready for a long day at the office. Soon … she would find her soon. Lena had unlimited resources at her disposal through her company, and as long as she was discreet, she wouldn’t be found out.

 

            Supergirl couldn’t hide forever.


	5. Chapter 5

           “Shit, kid, who beat you up?”

 

           “Oh, um … bar fight,” Lena replied, and Roulette smirked as she arched an eyebrow, “you should’ve seen me the other night.”

 

           “I’m not sure I _want_ to know what you looked like,” Roulette laughed, “are you even old enough to drink?”

 

           Lena sighed as she dumped her bag down and slipped off her boots, rolling her shoulders to loosen them up as she walked over to Roulette. “Come on, Ronnie, you know that I am,” Lena said, pursing her lips slightly.

 

           “Hm, I’m not too sure. Most kids are still in college at your age,” Roulette said, smiling as she jerked her head towards the mats.

 

           “Yeah well, I’m a genius,” Lena said, shrugging as she followed after her, “or if you ask my mother; above average.”

 

           They slowly warmed up, catching each other’s slow jabs and punches with their own blocks, and then they really got into it. Lena liked sparring with Roulette, and she spent as much time as possible at the gym, practicing with her in the spare time between classes, and learning different techniques and styles. She might’ve been a Lama instructor, but Roulette had a few different black belts, and was more than happy to pass on her knowledge to Lena. It wasn’t exactly friendship, but she was the only person outside of work and therapy that Lena ever had a real conversation with. Even at bouldering, tumbling and parkour classes, she was alone, and sometimes it was nice to just come to martial arts and have Roulette tease her, just so that she could have someone treat her like a normal person. At the dojo, she wasn’t a CEO, or a disappointing daughter, or even a vigilante, and it was almost a relief to let go of all of her burdens and vent her frustration to someone else without having to talk about it.

 

           “So, how’s the business?” Roulette asked when they paused to take a break, breathing heavily and glistening with sweat as they grabbed some water.

 

           Shrugging, Lena took a sip and dabbed her forehead with a small towel, “same as always. How’s the business?”

 

           Roulette gave her a small smile, “same as always.”

 

           Letting out a snort of laughter, Lena opened her bag and started to bind her hands for some boxing. She didn’t want to overexert herself though; she had work later. With her upgraded suit, she was _sure_ she could beat Supergirl now, and she was determined to assert herself the next time they fought. Her caped friend wouldn’t be caught off guard this time though – she knew Lena had green kryptonite – and she was wondering what surprises she would have in store. Lena was basically a giant target now, and she knew that Supergirl was getting better at taking down villains – not that Lena _was_ a villain, but Supergirl didn’t exactly view her as a hero – which meant that as soon as she caught wind of the Shadow’s position tonight, she’d be there to try and stop her, _again._

 

           Lena was starting to tire of this back and forth between the two of them, and they had only crossed paths twice. She was just trying to keep the city safe, and her job was becoming increasingly harder with the interruptions. It would’ve been easy for the bank robbers to get away the other night, if Lena hadn’t had the foresight to knock them out, and their petty rivalry would’ve let _actual_ criminals get away with their crime. Perhaps it would’ve been smarter to talk, but Lena couldn’t bring herself to care about what the Kryptonian had to say, and knew that it would come down to another fight again when they crossed paths. She would just spout the same hypocritical bullshit she had the last two times.

 

           Boxing out her frustration, Lena listened to Roulette talk as she held the boxing bag steady as Lena pounded away at it. She didn’t stop until her arms felt like they were going to drop off, and she knew that it had been stupid to waste so much energy here when she would need every ounce of her strength to fight the alien. Deciding to call it a night, and go and rest for a few hours before the criminals came out, Lena unwrapped her hands, stowing the wraps in her bag and finishing off her bottle of water.

 

           “You coming to class tomorrow?” Roulette asked, and Lena grimaced.

 

           “I’ve already got plans, but I’ll be here on Thursday,” Lena told her, thinking about the therapy session she had to go to. She was sure that Lillian would be monitoring her closely, what with her skipping last week’s session _and_ looking like she’d been brawling – which admittedly, she _had_ been, but not in the way that her mother suspected.

 

           She was keeping the streets of National City safe. Safe from all the violence, and the murderers and thugs, the drug lords and predators. She was a creature of the night, and they never saw her coming, but they felt it. It was how she got her nickname. Bones cracking, colourful bruises blossoming, and shallow slashes of her knives drawing thin lines of blood – they felt it. Sometimes, Lena wondered how many people she had hurt over the past year … and then she wondered how many she had saved. She wondered how many lives she had improved by condemning these criminals to a life of suffering behind bars. Every time she came to the conclusion that it was worth it, and so she carried out justice using her enemies blood as paint, beating them into bloody unconsciousness and leaving them for the cops to find.

 

           “Hey, kid,” Roulette called after Lena as she walked over to the door. If anyone else called Lena kid, she would’ve found it condescending and belittling, but the way Roulette said it was almost affectionately. Lena looked back over her shoulder expectantly at the sound of Roulette calling her. “Look after yourself, okay? Stop fighting so much.”

 

           “Yeah,” Lena muttered, rubbing the back of her neck as she gave Roulette a small smile.

 

           “If you ever need anything, you can always ask me, you know. If you get yourself into some trouble … just, give me a call, yeah?”

 

           Nodding, Lena gave her another small smile, “thanks, Ronnie.”

 

\---

 

           Feet drumming on the side of the dumpster as she sat on top, swinging her legs back and forth like a child, Lena filled the alley with a dull, repetitive banging sound as she waited for her police scanner to give her something interesting. A sound at the end of the mouth caught her attention, and she jumped to her feet on top of the dumpster, pulling out a small gun and pointing it at the boy that was running towards her. He froze as he saw the masked figure dressed in black towering above him, holding up his hands as his face turned white. His head whipped around at the sound of pounding footsteps chasing after him, and the entrance to the alley was blocked as the silhouettes of three hulking men appeared.

 

           Jerking her gun down the alley, Lena looked at the boy, taking in the youthful appearance beneath the mask of terror. “Better start running,” Lena said, the robotic voice unfreezing the boy, who darted past her as she jumped off the dumpster and re-holstered her gun. It wasn’t for humans anyway.

 

           Unclipping the two batons, she fixed them together and swung it around a few times as the men approached. They paused when they realised she was the person that was splashed across the front pages of the news every other day, and she saw a look of hesitation cross their faces. “Well? Are we going to do this or not?” Lena asked, enjoying every moment of it.

 

           The three men looked at each other, and one of them bolted while the other two made towards Lena. Rolling her eyes, Lena ran forward to meet them, kicking one of them in the chest and sending him stumbling backwards, before ducking to avoid a punch from the other. They were both unconscious within minutes, and Lena was busy tying them together when the sound of boots thudding on the ground reached her ears. Spinning around, Lena scowled behind her mask as she looked at the figure touched down on the ground. She looked out of place in the litter strewn alley, with her golden curls shining in the dim light and her red cape settling into place. There was a look of irritation on her face as she put her hands on her hips in what Lena assumed was supposed to be an attempt at intimidating her, but it fell short due to the softness of her face. It struck Lena that this Supergirl might be described as pretty, with her piercing blue eyes and perfect lips that were pouting slightly.

 

           “You again,” Lena snarled, drawing the gun loaded with green kryptonite tipped bullets. She pointed it at the girl across from her, her finger poised on the trigger as she contemplated getting in the first shot to improve her chances of winning the fight this time, instead of crawling away like a coward. The bullets wouldn’t kill the girl – or even really injure her – but they would be more effective at weakening her.

 

           A laser beam blasted the gun out of Lena’s hand before she could even fully decide whether or not she wanted to pull the trigger, the metal twisting and melting as it clattered to the ground. “Wait!” the girl said, holding out a hand as Lena yanked a knife out of a sheath and brandished it, “I just want to talk.”

 

           Lena hesitated, her sensors picking up a steady heartbeat that could only mean that she was telling the truth. Not trusting her word, Lena kept a tight grip on the knife, but slowly lowered it as she watched the Kryptonian girl intently, looking for any sign that she was going to attack. “Talk?” Lena barked a laugh, “it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it?”

 

           Moving quickly, the girl gestured towards a stack of crates, and Lena immediately raised the knife at the movement. Arching an eyebrow and giving her an amused smile, she cocked her head to the side, “mind if I sit?”

 

           Lena didn’t reply as she watched Supergirl take a seat on the crates, elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands. “So … um, I’m sorry about the other night. I, well, I’m still getting control of my powers, and I think my temper got the better of me. I hope your face is okay, I didn’t mean to hit you … _that_ hard, at any rate.”

 

           Behind the dark lenses of her mask, Lena gave her a hard stare, hoping that her silence conveyed how unimpressed she was with the apology. The silence stretched on, and the girl shifted uncomfortably on the crates, while Lena stood still, wound like a coiled spring.

 

           “Right, well, I think that maybe we should talk about our … _activities_ ,” she continued when it became apparent that Lena wasn’t going to talk. “They call you the Shadow, right? You’ve been doing this for a while now, right?” Lena gave her a stiff nod, and she continued, “well, I, uh, I think that maybe we could come to a compromise.”

 

           “Compromise?” Lena snorted.

 

           “Well I just … we can’t keep fighting every time we cross paths. You’re _clearly_ not going to give up, and neither I am, so we need to figure out something. What if we split the city? You can take north of the river, and I can take the south?”

 

           A robotic laugh was the response, and Lena’s lips quirked up into a smile as she spoke, “how about you fuck off and stay out of my way, hm? How about that?”

 

           “There’s no need to be so aggressive,” the girl muttered, her eyebrows drawn down into a frown, “I’m just trying to come to an agreement.”

 

           “How about you agree to stay off my turf,” Lena spat, her knuckles tightening on the hilt of the knife, “I was here first, and this is _my_ city.” She didn’t care if she sounded like a child having a tantrum, it _was_ her city. At least, it had been since she was sixteen, and she doubted that the alien had been here that long. _Surely_ someone would’ve found her within that time.

 

           Scoffing, Supergirl gave Lena an exasperated look, “and it’s _huge_. You don’t have super speed _or_ flying abilities, you can’t possibly save _everyone_ in the city. And how are you going to hear everything in the city? You don’t have sensitive hearing, or sight. I mean, I really doubt that you have x-ray vision beneath that mask.”

 

           “It’s not about what I have, it’s about what I can _do_ with what I have. If I don’t put my money where my mouth is, then what kind of hypocrite would I be? I mean, you’d know all about hypocrisy, right? Anyway, it’s not in the words, it’s in the actions.”

 

           “Well you need to quit your actions.”

 

           “Mm, I think I’ll pass actually.”

 

           Huffing, the girl crossed her arms over her chest and gave Lena an exasperated look. “Aren’t you tired of having your ass handed to you?”

 

           “Well, it’s really only by you, and only by sheer luck on your part, what with you being an alien and all. Otherwise, you have no skill, no discipline, and _god_ that costume is awful. A skirt, really? That’s completely impractical, I could kneecap you with one well placed bullet. You look like a fucking cheerleader crossed with a Spartan. So please, tell me again how you’re _so_ much better at this than me.”

 

           Letting out a sound of frustration, Supergirl pinched the bridge of her nose as she sighed. “Listen … Shadow, this isn’t about who’s better, it’s about the fact that you could _die_.”

 

           “So could you if you pushed me too far … that would be a pity now, wouldn’t it?”

 

           “You’re _human_. If someone shoots you, you could _die_.”

 

           Lena let out a bark of laughter, her wry smile on her lips beneath the mask, “well, I didn’t expect you to care so much. It’s _touching_. In case you didn’t hear it with your super hearing the other night, I _was_ shot, but here I am. Completely fine. So thanks for your concern, but save it.”

 

           “Why can’t you just leave it alone?” the blonde snapped, and Lena’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, a small smile playing on her lips at how wound up she was getting the girl. “Either you stop it now, or next time I won’t be seeing you alone. You’ve attracted some unwanted attention from organisations you don’t even know exist, and I’m sure they’d be happy to help me clean up the streets. Especially seeing as you’ve gotten your hands on some kryptonite … that would be _very_ interesting.”

 

           “Well, I’m not going to deny you another charming encounter like this one,” Lena said, over exaggerating a sigh, “I like to think myself a charitable person, so until next time then, _Wondergirl.”_

 

           “It’s- it’s Supergirl!” the girl shouted after Lena as she turned and started making her way down the dark alley, leaving Supergirl scrambling off the crates she was still perched on. Lena smiled to herself, taking some satisfaction in the fact that she was getting under Supergirl’s skin.

 

           “Whatever, Superlady.”

 

\---

 

           The rest of the night, Lena aimlessly wandered the city, taking her time losing herself in the busier sections of town in the hopes that a certain caped hero might not be able to keep track of her. She stopped two muggings and a man following two drunk girls from a bar, before turning towards the harbour and making her way towards the docks. She was exhausted by the time she made it back to her apartment.

 

           She didn’t see the red caped person perched on the skyscraper opposite her building. Didn’t see her using her x-ray vision to watch as Lena collapsed into bed, or the way that she pressed the earpiece in her ear, activating the mic. “Guardian, are you following this?”

 

           James had followed the Shadow through the city in a van, with Winn managing the communications with the D.E.O. It had led them to this point, and Kara had flown in and waited as she watched the small figure ride the elevator up to the penthouse. The most surprising revelation so far had been that the Shadow was, in fact, a woman.

 

_“The car went into the garage at this building. Did you see which apartment they went into?”_

 

           “The top one,” Kara muttered, “Alex, do you know who lives there?”

 

 _“Holy fucking shit! No way,“_ her sister exclaimed, causing Kara to frown.

           “Who is is Alex?”

_“It’s Lena Luthor.”_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are some things unexplained bc it's from lena's pov, but it'll be elaborated on once she knows the superfriends and everything

_"Lena Luthor."_

            The words registered in Kara’s ears and she sat there on the edge of the building in shock. Everyone knew the billionaire CEO of L-Corp, and there was no way that Kara was going to believe that _she_ was the vigilante that had been running around the city. It made sense though; the Shadow had the best technology, green kryptonite that Lena would’ve been able to access through her family, and if the rumours were true, she was _smart_.

 

            Kara hesitated though, before replying to Alex. “Wait, no,” she lied, “this person’s not in the apartment … they’re going up some stairs … to the _roof_.”

 

 _“The roof?”_ James asked.

 

            “Mhm,” Kara confirmed, “I don’t … I don’t think it’s her.”

 

_“Luthor?”_

            The lie rolled off her tongue easily, and Kara wasn’t sure why she was covering for the person she’d fought multiple times. If it _was_ her, which it seemed to be. Kara wasn’t too sure herself though – James and Winn could easily have lost track of the right person – and she didn’t want to bring the D.E.O. into it unless she was one-hundred-percent sure that they had the right person. There would be a lot of awkward questions otherwise, especially if they took a famous CEO into custody, not to mention the fact that if it _was_ her, she would be in serious trouble. Kara didn’t approve of vigilante’s – there was law enforcement for a reason – but she didn’t think that someone should be punished for keeping the city safe. All she’d wanted was for Lena to stop, not for her to be imprisoned for helping in her own twisted way.

 

            “No … this is someone else,” Kara firmly said, “I can see them. They’re just standing there, on the edge of the roof.”

 

 _“Shit,”_ Alex sighed, _“well, now what?”_

            “I’ll keep watch,” Kara quickly said, “everyone else should report back to headquarters, and I’ll wait and see where they go. _If_ they go.”

 

            There was a pause, and Kara watched the figure laying in bed, a frown gracing her features as she listened to the steady heartbeat. It was different to the irregular pattern that the vigilante had, but that meant nothing, it was just noise. _“Okay. Don’t get too close or you’ll be spotted … and stay out of range of any kryptonite, okay?”_

 

            “I promise,” Kara vowed, and Alex made her promise to give hourly updates, before giving the other two agents orders to return to headquarters with the van. Switching off comms, Kara exhaled slowly, feeling confused. The face of Lena Luthor was clear in her mind, and Kara felt a bit silly for admitting to herself that she thought she was beautiful, but that woman and the dangerous vigilante didn’t fit together in Kara’s mind. She would have to watch her closely to make sure she was right, before she decided to do anything else.

 

\---

 

            Lena spent the next month going about things as usual. If she wasn’t at the office, she was creeping through the city, leaving beat up criminals in her wake, and if she wasn’t doing that, she was honing her skills or at therapy. She was careful, but not careful enough. Never in a million years would she have noticed the pastel coloured cardigans and glasses and assumed that she was being followed by the girl wearing them. Nor would Lena have guessed that it was Supergirl, because she didn’t even notice that she was being followed at all.

 

            Kara was smart too – she might not have had a billion-dollar company backing her, but she was smart nonetheless – and she was careful not to get within range of Lena’s cameras or sensors. It also made it hard for her to be sure what exactly Lena was up to, and Kara knew that sooner or later she’d have to make a move. For now though, she let Lena carry on as she was, and kept silent about it to everyone at the D.E.O., even though she wasn’t sure why. She didn’t owe Lena anything – except maybe another apology for the hard punch to the face – but Kara didn’t think she was a bad person. If anything, she was keeping the city safe, but it was _illegal._ At least Kara was somewhat working for the D.E.O., and was operating under their supervision, and Alex and James accompanied her on some missions even, as full blown D.E.O. agents. It was all done with the backing of the government, not some handcrafted weapons and their own moral compass to guide them. One of these days, if Lena wasn’t careful, she was going to get hurt, or worse, she was going to _kill_ someone. Knocking them unconscious was one thing, but Kara had seen the state that Lena left some of her victims in, and she wasn’t sure she liked the brutality that she dealt out her justice with. Some of the criminals were just desperate people after money to pay the rent, or minor drug dealers that hung around on street corners, and they didn’t deserve a beating from a woman with too much time on her hands.

 

            Unbeknownst to Kara, in the times where she wasn’t watching Lena, Lena was researching _her_. She had been pulling up as much footage as possible of Supergirl, trying to narrow down a search area for where the alien was coming from, and she was frustrated by the shoddy camera footage of her arriving and departing crime scenes. It had been a challenge to pinpoint her exact location, but Lena was narrowing down her search, and once she did, she would know where to find her. If there was one thing she had learnt from being a Luthor, it was that blackmail worked every time, and the threat of exposing the alien’s identity would be more than a big enough bargaining chip. First, Lena had to find her though.

 

            It was Friday night, and she was searching from the comfort of her own apartment, having decided to take the night off. The weekends usually had more cops around, looking for suspicious behaviour or just to keep the drunk and disorderly people in line, so Lena felt confident that they could handle it for the night – and if not, well, Supergirl might put in an appearance and help make her job at finding her a whole lot easier.

 

            Deciding to take a hot bath, Lena left her laptop to run software collecting footage from all of the cameras in the area she had assumed Supergirl was located it, and soaked in the warmth of the water, letting her tense muscles relax as she waited for the security footage to finish loading. Wrapped in her silk robe, she padded to the kitchen barefoot, eyeing the liquor cabinet as she passed by, and ultimately deciding against it – she was trying to cut down – in favour of one of her healthy smoothies. She had kept herself to a strict diet since she’d taken to fulfilling Jack’s wishes, even giving up smoking – except the occasional one when she was stressed – and she begrudgingly admitted to herself that a smoothie would be the better option, if only to save herself a hangover in the morning.

 

            The green smoothie in hand and both legs stretched out before her as she propped her feet up on the desk, Lena turned her attention to the three screens before her, popping her glasses on to bring everything into focus. Shifting her mouse around, Lena brought up one of the videos and began to quickly skim through the footage with practiced ease, having spent hours upon hours looking for the tell-tale signs of Supergirl. Drinking her smoothie and pausing every now and then whenever a blur crossed the sky, adding corrections to the digital map she had open on one of the screens. There was a large block by block map of the city, and Lena was slowly drawing the wide net she’d cast around the city inwards. Soon, she would know _exactly_ where Supergirl was hiding. She would have no threats against her then, because clearly an alien who had spent so long hiding who they were would want to make a deal to preserve their secret identity. In a moment of thought, Lena realised that it could be anyone – it could be someone she knew. She pushed that thought aside though – this Supergirl didn’t even wear a _mask_. Lena would be a thousand times more recognisable than whoever Supergirl was, so of course she wore one, but it Supergirl _didn’t_ wear a mask, the only question Lena had was why hadn’t she been found yet?

 

            _Someone_ had to know. There was no way in this digital age that someone _didn’t_ know who she was. If they did though, they were careful not to post pictures of her online, because one of the first things Lena had done was find the clearest looking photo of Supergirl that she could find, and run it through the face recognition software she’d stolen from a rival tech company and programmed to fit her needs. There hadn’t been a match. Lena hated to admit her failure, but so far she _had_ failed to find her rival, and while she hadn’t had another encounter with Supergirl for a month, she wasn’t naïve enough to think that she had given up. They didn’t know each other, but Lena was certain that the Kryptonian was just as stubborn as she was, and there would be no backing down. Daily news reports came in of Supergirl saving people or stopping crimes, so Lena knew that she was still doing her own thing, but she’d stayed away from Lena – the real question was for how long?

 

            It was in the early hours of the morning when Lena decided to call it quits. She’d been staring at the screens for hours, slowly drawing her search inwards, and her eyes were burning from a lack of sleep. Leaving one of the screens on to run her tracking programs in the background, Lena climbed to her feet and walked to her room, stripping off her robe and climbing straight into bed. Sleep was quick to come, and she slept soundly, oblivious to the figure perched on the rooftop of the building across from her, just as she had been most nights for the past month.

 

\---

 

            It was over breakfast the next morning that Lena had a breakthrough. She was pouring granola into a bowl when her phone pinged – and alert for a new Supergirl video – and Lena quickly went to fetch her laptop, abandoning her breakfast for the time being. It didn’t take long for her to bring it up, and she snagged her mug of coffee off the kitchen counter as she made for her office, the shaky footage playing on her screen. Behind her desk, Lena was drinking her bitter coffee as she stared intently at the video, looking for any landmarks or logos that could help her pinpoint the location where it was filmed. The footage showed Supergirl appearing out of nowhere, and as Lena tried to make out the street sign on the lamppost, she noticed the symbol of a coffee cup on the window of a café. It was a well known chain, and Lena smiled as she pulled up the locations of all the coffee shops in National City with that symbol. She was close.

 

            The search showed four of them within the area Lena had narrowed her search to, and a quick Google maps search let her walk down the streets the coffee shop was on, the surrounding buildings coming into view too. It was the third coffee shop in the video, and the giant skyscraper behind it looked like where Supergirl had set off from. Perhaps it was a dead end, but it was something, and Lena couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she clicked on the building and copied the address.

 

            “I’ve got you now, you bastard,” Lena muttered to herself.

 

            A quick google search brought up a website for it, and Lena was quick to hack into it, as well as the building’s mainframe. It said it was a company for bioengineering, but Lena narrowed her eyes at that. She had never heard of this company, and an engineer running a company would know about any competitors, which meant that they weren’t a big enough company to be a threat to L-Corp, but judging by the size of the building, it would cost a lot to keep it running. Frowning as her fingers flew across the keys, Lena brought up everything she could find on the building; schematics, blueprints, its utilities and employee list, and it just didn’t add up.

 

            First of all, the energy consumption was incredibly huge, but only on the top few floors, and a quick background check into some of the employees showed experience in the army for a few of them, and no degrees in biology or engineering. She didn’t get the chance to hack into the encrypted files, because a moment later, a warning flashed on her screen. She was being hacked. In the blink of an eye, Lena had pressed her safety kill switch, instantly frying her monitors, and she slammed a hand down on the desk, while running the other through her hair.

 

            “Fuck!”

 

            Luckily she had everything automatically backed up in the off chance that someone _did_ manage to hack her, or she ended up losing her files somehow, but her setup was ruined now. It would take days to replace everything and install all of the programs she’d created and modified, and she didn’t want to wait days. With a snarl, she slammed the laptop screen down too – that one was fine, but not equipped to run all of her programs – and she climbed to her feet. If she wanted to do anymore searching today, she’d have to go to the warehouse, and risk being seen there in broad daylight, which she usually tried to avoid. Showering as she seethed with anger, Lena ran over her options, before deciding that she was definitely on the right course. She wouldn’t have been hacked if she wasn’t.

 

\---

 

            Less than an hour later, Lena found herself stood on a street corner, a takeaway coffee cup in hand bearing a coffee cup logo, as she stared up at the towering building from behind the lenses of dark sunglasses. It was the right one, she was sure of it, and she watched three identical black vans leave the private garage and merge into traffic. _Bioengineering my ass_ , Lena thought, her lips curling up into a wry smile. There was something off about that building, and whatever it was, it was related to Supergirl. She didn’t know it, but she was in over her head.

 

            Nearby, a girl watched her with wide blue eyes from behind the lenses of her glasses, her face a shade paler than usual as she held her coffee in hand and screamed internally. This was _bad_. Lena was standing outside the D.E.O. secret headquarters, and it wasn’t a coincidence. They had been hacked last night, and Kara knew without a doubt it had been Lena, and Lena knew _exactly_ what she’d been doing, because she’d been stood on the street corner for the past ten minutes, not moving an inch as she stared up at the top of the building. Lena was about to expose their secret operations, and Kara felt stupid for ever thinking that it was a good idea to lie and protect a woman she didn’t even _know_. She had lied to everyone and said that it wasn’t Lena, just so that she could try and buy herself some time to figure out how to make Lena stop, but now she was out of time. Alex was going to kill Kara.

 

            “Oh no,” Kara quietly exclaimed, wincing at the thought of how much trouble she was going to be in.


	7. Chapter 7

            “Alex,” Kara breathlessly spoke into her phone, “we have a problem.”

 

            _“Are you okay?”_ her sister’s concerned voice came back.

 

            Kara bit back a hysterical laugh, “I’m fine, but _we’re_ not.”

 

            There was a pause as Alex let her sister’s words sink in, and Kara felt herself panicking as she watched Lena turn away from the corner and walk towards her. Turning around, Kara busied herself with reading the café menu through the window, watching as Lena’s reflection passed behind her. Kara felt her heart leap in her chest as she turned around and stared at Lena’s back; she was _beautiful._ She knew she was beautiful already – she’d been on the front of dozens of magazines – but Kara felt a bit stunned as she looked at the elegant, effortless beauty of her. It was hard to reconcile the vigilante with Lena, but there was a precision to her movements as she tossed her empty coffee cup in the trash and pulled out her phone.

 

            Kara turned around again, pushing her glasses up her nose as she honed in on the conversation, listening as Lena spoke to the woman who answered the phone.

 

            “I need you to look into arranging a meeting with the CEO of a company for me,” Lena brusquely spoke.

 

            _“Of course, ma’am. Which company?”_

Kara listened intently as Lena gave the woman the name that the D.E.O. operated under, and bit back a curse. She was definitely royally screwed if Lena knew that there was something off about the building, and by the sounds of things, she did.

 

            _“Kara?”_

 

            Jerking back to reality, Kara pressed her phone back to her ear, “Alex, she knows. She knows about us.”

 

            _“Who?”_

“Lena Luthor,” Kara hissed, trying to keep her voice down as panic threatened to get the better of her.

 

            _“I don’t understand. What does she know? You said it wasn’t her,”_ Alex babbled.

 

            Kara bit her lip, squeezing her eyes shut as she mentally kicked herself. She had lied to Alex, lied to _everyone_ , because she’d thought that if she watched Lena, and found out more about her, she could reason with her. So far, she hadn’t been able to do anything, and Kara felt a flicker of guilt at being stupid enough to prioritise a vigilante woman she didn’t even know, over the law. “I-, uh, well, um, see th-the thing is … I might’ve been wrong,” Kara stammered, “and … uh, she _is_ the vigilante.”

 

            _“What?!”_ Alex squawked, and Kara winced, _“when did you find out?”_

 

            “Um … well, so, I wasn’t _sure_ , so I kept tabs on her … and now I’m sure.”

 

            She heard a forceful exhale on the other end of the line – a sure sign that Alex was angry – and she grimaced as she waited for Alex to reply. _“How sure?”_

“She, uh, she was just standing outside headquarters, and called someone to ask them to check into the business front. I don’t know what she knows, but she knows _something_.”

 

            _“Fuck,_ ” Alex cursed, followed by some more colourful language, _“okay, you tail her and I’ll ready the team.”_

“I’m supposed to be at the lab!” Kara protested, “I’ve got samples to test.”

 

            _“Well I need you in operations, not research, right now,”_ Alex told her, _“civilian clothes – not the suit.”_

Kara sighed, taking a sip of her coffee as she thought about her desk in the research lab at the D.E.O. and the stack of paperwork she had to finish. Working in both divisions definitely made things difficult for both parts, having Kara working around the clock, but she enjoyed both jobs immensely. “Okay. Keep me posted on your location so I can come and find you.”

 

            _“No, you track her to her location and then you come straight back here,”_ Alex ordered her, _“don’t engage her, don’t approach her – just find out where she is and come straight back here. You need to debrief us on everything you’ve conveniently forgotten to mention.”_

 

            “Yes, boss,” Kara sighed, “love you.”

 

            There was a slight pause, and then Alex replied, “ _love you too. Stay safe.”_

Hanging up, Kara trained her eyes on Lena and slowly started to trail behind her, making sure to keep out of sight so that Lena wouldn’t know she was being followed. She was a vigilante – she would have good enough senses and resources to know if Kara got close enough. She tailed her all the way to L-Corp, standing on the street across from the front doors as she let her glasses slide down her nose so that she could peer over the top of them with her x-ray vision. Listening in, she heard Lena greet the same woman on the phone – Kara assumed it was her assistant – and sit down behind her desk. Kara watched as a man was shown to her office, and talk turned to business. With mild surprise, Kara realised that Lena was going about her normal business day, as if she hadn’t just asked her assistant to look into a top secret government organisation, and become one step closer to finding out who Kara was.

 

\---

 

            Lena spent all day in business meetings, although her mind was elsewhere and she could barely concentrate on what the businesspeople were saying as they presented their causes to her. She closed no deals that day, telling everyone that she’d get back to them on their proposed deal, once she’d had time to go over them properly. It wasn’t until lunchtime that Jess got back to her on the instructions that Lena had given her, and she was just about to dig into the salad Jess placed down before her when the woman politely cleared her throat.

 

            Glancing up at her, Lena raised her eyebrows expectantly. “Well? What is it?”

 

            “The meeting, ma’am … there’s apparently no availabilities for months,” Jess said, giving her an apologetic look.

 

            “ _Months?”_ Lena echoed, a cross look on her face, “I can’t wait months. Did you tell them who I am?”

 

            Nodding, Jess gave her an apologetic look, and Lena sighed. “Sorry, ma’am. Should I try again?”

 

            “No,” Lena said dismissively, “thank you, Jess. That’ll be all.”

 

            Nodding, Jess turned and left the office, leaving Lena to open up her laptop and spear a piece of cucumber on her fork. If she couldn’t get inside the building and check out her suspicions, then she’d just hack to hack it again and be more careful this time. She hadn’t known what she was up against last night, she didn’t know there would be someone as skilled as she was at computer programming, who would be able to get past her defences. This time she would take extra measures.

 

            She cancelled her next appointment, and spent the next hour trying to get around the firewalls that had seemingly popped up overnight. It took her almost half an hour of using all of her best hacking software and coding, before she finally got inside – this time unnoticed. Bringing up a list of employees again, she quickly skimmed through the profiles of all of the employees, taking in the small photos that accompanied each one, and frowning when she couldn’t find anyone listed in the folders. After a bit more digging, she found another folder of what looked to be a different department of employees, and Lena frowned as she skimmed through those, scrolling past a blonde girl with glasses, and then going back quickly. A blonde girl, with glasses because Supergirl didn’t wear a mask.

 

            Enlarging the photo, Lena stared at the blue eyes and the warm smile on the girl’s face, and there was no doubt in her mind that it was the same girl. She could even see the small scar in the middle of the girl’s forehead, just like she’d seen on Supergirl’s face the night that she’d been pinned to the wall by her. Clicking on the profile, Lena read the name out loud, and a slow smile spread across her face.

 

            “Kara Danvers,” she quietly read aloud to herself, “I’ve got you now.”

 

            With a smug look on her face, Lena spent the next few minutes googling this girl, and finding out as much as she could about her. There wasn’t much to go on, but she did manage to find a library card registered to an address with a girl of the same name, and Lena quickly looked up the building on google maps. She knew where she would be going tonight.

 

            And she hoped her new _friend_ would be home.

 

\---

 

            “What do you _mean_ Lena Luthor is the vigilante,” Alex hissed as Kara hurried out of the elevator, her satchel slung over one shoulder and a panicked look in her eyes.

 

            “I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure if James got it right,” Kara whispered, linking her arm through Alex’s and dragging her off to a quiet corner of the room, where they wouldn’t be overheard.

 

            Alex opened and closed her mouth, making a spluttering sound as she looked at Kara in shock, “how long have you suspected?”

 

            Scratching the back of her neck, Kara ducked her head and shrugged, “well I, um, I lied about the vigilante going up to the roof that night. It was her – she went straight to bed – but, I don’t know, Alex. It just didn’t _feel_ right, you know? It wasn’t her heartbeat-“

 

            “You said that the heartbeat was scrambled.”

 

            “Well, yeah, but still … James and Winn could’ve lost the right person at any point. They followed a motorbike and then a car – what if the vigilante _didn’t_ get into the car? And the warehouse – it checked out under the name of a Tess Mercer, not Lena Luthor. We could’ve been totally wrong.”

 

            “We weren’t though, were we?” Alex asked, giving her sister a disapproving look.

 

            Kara was silent for a few moments, closing her eyes as she breathed out slowly. How could she tell her sister than she’d been watching Lena for a month, had _known_ for a month that she was the vigilante? Alex was her superior officer, and she had broken the rules by not telling her – sister or not. She would be pissed. Majorly pissed.

 

            “No,” Kara muttered, a sheepish look on her face, “we weren’t.”

 

            “Fucking hell,” Alex cursed, running a hand through her hair.

 

            Wincing slightly, Kara gave Alex a pleading look, “Alex, I’m sorry.”

 

            Huffing, Alex crossed her arms over her chest and gave her sister a hard look. “Just … go and run labs. Don’t tell anyone what you’ve hidden, okay? Let me sort out this mess.”

 

            “What’re you going to do?” Kara hesitantly asked, feeling slightly worried.

 

            “I don’t know.”

 

            ---

 

            Suited up and sitting on the edge of a building a few streets away from the building that Lena was almost one-hundred-percent sure belonged to Supergirl – well, Kara Danvers – she patiently waited for any sign that someone was home. She’d kept a low profile all night, hoping that Supergirl would decide to leave her apartment and go and stop the crimes that Lena was neglecting tonight. So far she hadn’t seen so much as a glimpse of her, and Lena’s police scanner didn’t receive any alerts as to Supergirl’s whereabouts. Her patience wearing thin, Lena decided to wait until midnight to see if the girl would arrive, and then she was going to call it a night. She had work in the morning, and if she wasn’t going to fight crime, then she may as well catch up on some well needed sleep.

 

            To her annoyance, the moon passed its peak without so much as a whisper of Supergirl’s name reaching her ears, or even the tiniest flicker of movement as someone tried to sneak around, and Lena climbed to her feet as she pursed her lips. Hours of research had led her to this moment, and she was so _sure_ it was the right place. Muttering a curse, she called it a night and ran across the rooftop, throwing herself across the gap of the alleyway, and disappearing into the night.

 

            She didn’t hear the sound of a van’s engine being turned on, and she didn’t see it following her through the city, making its way towards the warehouse where it knew she would be. There was no way she could’ve known that they had followed her there before, and so she scaled the chain link fence and scrambled up the side of one of the buildings, just like she always did, scanning the surrounding area, and the sensors in her lenses picking up nothing. Everything was as it should be, so Lena jumped from roof to roof, before removing the vent grate and climbing down the shaft.

 

            It wasn’t until she was peeling off her suit that the alarms were triggered.

 

            Her stiff fitted pants around her ankles, and her mask and hooded jerking already off, Lena looked around in a panic. Quickly pulling her pants back up, she grabbed a plain black hooded sweatshirt, pulling it on over her black shirt, and then reached for a gun. Her face hidden in the shadows of her hood, she padded barefoot out onto the walkway, gun raised and eyes darting side to side as she looked for movement in the dark interior of the warehouse. She could navigate this place in the dark, but it was no use without the lenses of her mask to tell her if someone else was in here with her.

 

            She didn’t see four figures – three in full tactical gear, and one clutching a case to his chest – and she quietly padded across the walkway, heading for the spiral stairs on the opposite side of the building. As silently as possible, Lena descended the stairs, trying not to let her feet sound on the cold metal, and soon found herself on the floor. She didn’t know that the four figures had watched the whole thing with their night vision goggles, the three agents spreading out, while the tech guy crouched down in one of the corners and waited for his time to shine.

 

            On Alex’s orders they made their move, and Lena sensed it as they seemed to burst into action. The gun was kicked out of her hand straight away, and she threw herself forward, catching a small girl around the chest and crashing to the floor with her. Jumping to her feet, she stumbled as a foot to the knee hobbled her, and she whirled around, striking a tall guy in the chest and knocking the breath out of him. A stinging blow to Lena’s face made her snarl in anger, and she lashed out, striking nothing and earning a kick to the ribs, which sent her crashing to the floor, the hard concrete knocking the air out of her lungs and sending pain lancing through one of her elbows. She would have bruises tomorrow. On her back, Lena span herself around, her legs flying everywhere and striking her targets as she kept them at bay long enough to flip herself up onto her feet.

 

            A tackle around her waist brought her crashing back down, and she felt the cool, hard metal of a gun pressed to the back of her head. “Don’t move.”

 

            “Schott! Lights,” a different woman called, and a few moments later, small drones lit up the place.

 

            Her hands were quickly cuffed behind her, and so were her legs, and Lena struggled to make sense of the sight in front of her as she turned her head to the side, spitting out a mouthful of blood as she stared at each ghostly face in the light of the drones. None of the four people present were Supergirl, but they were clearly from an organisation, which meant that she was in more trouble than she had anticipated.

 

            “Fuck.”


	8. Chapter 8

           “Stay where you are.”

 

           Silently cursing herself, and everyone present, Lena lay on the floor with her arms cuffed behind her at an awkward angle. The lights of the drones illuminated the four people as they moved around, two of them going off in separate directions in search of the lights, while the woman in charge pointed a gun at Lena and the tech guy started furiously tapping at a tablet. It wasn’t long before the massive warehouse flooded with light, and Lena tried to turn her head so that they wouldn’t be able to recognise her quite so easily, because she was sure they’d only followed the Shadow here – not her.

 

           At the same time that the fluorescent lights flickered on, blinding everyone for a moment, there was a loud banging noise and the sound of tearing metal. It took Lena a few moments to register the red cloaked figure touching down on the ground, cape settling down around her and her hands on her hips in what was supposed to be an intimidating look. Even paired with the thunderous look on her face, Lena couldn’t help but laugh. They were all in deep shit now.

 

           “Alex! Enough!”

 

           Lena blinked in surprise, her heart skipping a beat as everything started to sink in. Supergirl _knew_ these people, the familiarity of the woman’s name was enough to assure Lena of that, and a feeling of dread filled her. She wouldn’t be able to get out of this one now … but she always had a back up plan, so maybe she had a chance.

 

           “What the hell are you doing?”

 

           “Cleaning up your mess,” the pissed off agent said, her gun still trained on Lena. “What are you doing here?”

 

           “Coming to see what the fuss is about,” Supergirl curtly replied.

 

           While no one was looking at Lena, she twisted her right hand to an almost painful angle, inching up the cuff of her shirt and fumbling for the button on the strap around her wrist. It was a fail safe, one that she hadn’t ever planned on using unless absolutely necessary, but with Supergirl _and_ these agents – from whichever unknown organisation – in the middle of her hideout, Lena knew that she had to get rid of the evidence. She had to get herself out of this, without implicating herself, and this was the only way she’d be able to do it now. With a grim look on her face, Lena pushed the button, and then dislocated her thumb, biting back a scream of pain as she pulled her hand through the cuff.

 

           A moment later, the little explosives, placed at structural weaknesses in the warehouse, blew. Sudden flames roared to life, scampering from crate to crate and engulfing the building in a roaring inferno. Everyone jumped at the blasts, and shouts got lost in the sound of groaning metal. Lena knew that everyone would be fine – Supergirl was already here – and none of them were in any serious danger, but it would give her a few precious moments to escape and destroy the evidence, as the warehouse began to fill with thick grey smoke.

 

           “You! What did you do?”

 

           Lena was hauled to her feet by the back of her shirt by the shorter woman, and came face to face with the one arguing with Supergirl. She had chestnut hair cut above her shoulders, and she was glaring at Lena with so much hate in her eyes that Lena drew herself up to her full height, steeling herself against the anger. And then she lowered her head, looking down at the floor, before bracing herself against the smaller woman, lifting her legs and kicking out at this Alex woman’s chest. Landing back on her feet, Lena turned and headbutted the smaller girl on the chin, sending her stumbling backwards. Next thing she knew, two hands wound around her wrists in a steel grip, and Supergirl’s skin was so warm that Lena felt like her skin was on fire where she held her.

 

           “We don’t have time for this,” Supergirl hissed.

 

           “Go to hell,” Lena snarled, tearing her hands out of the girl’s grip as she coughed. The smoke was starting to lower, and she knew that she needed to get outside before the entire building collapsed and burned down to ashes. Stumbling forward, Lena coughed again, wiping her brow which was sweaty as the temperature inside the warehouse rose to a stifling heat that was almost too much.

 

           A laser beam hit the cuffs on Lena’s ankles, and she looked down and then up in surprise, taking in the grim look on Supergirl’s face. Without pausing, Lena shot forward before anyone could stop her, drawing her shirt up over her mouth and nose as she made for the back of the building, passing flickering flames and watching as the smoke lowered. There was an old door set into the side of the building, and Lena kicked it open, stumbling out into the alleyway between it and the next building.

 

  Stumbling, Lena braced herself on the opposite wall as her knees threatened to buckle beneath her. Drawing in ragged breaths, Lena gratefully sucked in the cool night air as the building behind her kept on burning. She couldn’t bring her legs to move, even though she knew she should, and as the smell of burning metal filled her nose, mixing in with the smell of salt drifting in from the bay, she stood stood in the alleyway.

 

           “You need to get out of here.”

 

           Whirling around, Lena’s face twisted up into a silent snarl as she took in the blue shirt and red skirt, and that ridiculous symbol on her chest. The perfect golden curls and the red cape and shiny boots. She didn’t look the least bit ruffled by the fire, and Lena felt a rush of anger at the sight of her. Enough that she moved of her own accord, grabbing the girl by the front of her outfit and slamming her into the side of the building. Supergirl offered no protest, and she just blinked in surprise as she stared at Lena in shock.

 

           “The building is about to collapse, it’s not safe,” she urgently said.

 

           “You! You did this,” Lena hissed.

 

           “I’m trying to help you!” Supergirl argued, her eyebrows furrowing into a frown as she looked at Lena, her eyes flicking down slightly, before she looked back into Lena’s eyes.

 

           “I wouldn’t have needed your help if you’d just fucking left me alone, and stayed hidden.”

 

           Spluttering, Kara’s mouth fell open in shock, “ _me?_ You should never have been running around the streets in the first place.”

 

           “I was doing fine by myself.”

 

           “Just because nobody had caught you yet, doesn’t mean you were doing fine. It’s still illegal.”

 

           Lena huffed, her frustration growing, and she pushed Supergirl higher up the wall, so that she was standing on the tips of her toes, looking down at Lena with mild concern. She could break her grip in a heartbeat. Lena wondered why she hadn’t yet. “Someone has to save this city. It’s corrupt, and shit, and the government is doing fuck all to help. Whatever black site you work out of is doing fuck all as well – you’re more concerned with kidnapping me than doing anything to stop the real criminals. It’s the big corporations that are the real enemy here. They abuse their powers.”

 

           “Like you, Miss Luthor?”

 

           Lena let her go as her eyes widened in alarm. She knew who Lena was – of course – and if anything, if fuelled Lena’s anger even further. “No, _not_ like me. Tell me, those people you’re with … what have they ever done for your kind? Do they hunt you down and run tests on you? Do they do _nothing_ to help? Don’t act like I’m the villain here.”

 

           “You’re a criminal.”

 

           “I’m a vigilante – there’s a difference.”

 

           “I don’t see one. Vengeance will get you nowhere.”

 

           “Vengeance is cold, and I can take it,” Lena sharply replied, “I have to take the law into my own hands to get back at the crooked criminals that are left to go free because they either buy off the cops, or they're too insignificant to warrant the attention of them. The billionaire businessman who profits from human trafficking - _I_ stopped him, while the police and the FBI sat on their asses. All these resources and they do fuck all.”

 

           Sighing, Supergirl braced her hands on her hips, giving Lena a pleading look. “There are sirens coming, just let me help. I’ll take you into custody – the NCPD don’t know about us, so it won’t be so public.”

 

           Feeling sick as she watched wisps of smoke curl under the door and through the sides of it, Lena started to frantically pace back and forth. She couldn’t go to jail – that wasn’t an option. Panic was starting to set in now, and she ran her fingers through her long, dark hair as her breathing picked up. If she let the police take her into custody, she could worm her way out of this because there was nothing to tie her to this place. Any evidence of her being here would be wiped away by the raging inferno inside, and her own name didn’t tie her to the building, so they would have no proof. If she let Supergirl take her in though … she didn’t know what would happen to her.

 

           “Lena.”

 

           Lena started at the unfamiliar sound of her name falling from the other girl’s lips, and she grabbed her by the front of her costume again. Waiting to see what she would do, Supergirl just stared down at Lena, her breathing hitching as her eyes darted down to Lena’s parted lips. Then Lena was kissing her, because she didn’t know what else to do but she felt like she was going to burst from all of her pent up emotions, and her lips were right there so she just _kissed_ her. And then Supergirl was kissing her back, and Lena tore herself away from her lips as the horror of what was happening sank in.

 

           The police sirens were closer now, and Lena dimly acknowledged them as she stared at the blonde girl with wide eyes. No words could describe the way those blue eyes stared back at her, her piercing gaze setting Lena on fire with an intensity even greater than the ones inside the burning building. A flicker of movement out of the corner of Lena’s eye caught her attention. Jack. Everything seemed to come crashing down on her, and Lena squeezed her eyes shut.

 

           “Just leave me alone,” Lena shouted, and after a moment of silence, the whooshing sound of air being cut through reached her ears. Opening her eyes, Lena found herself standing alone in the alleyway – no sign of Supergirl _or_ Jack. Letting out a shaky breath, Lena fell back against the side of the opposite building, her hands on her knees as she tried to calm herself down.

 

           The sounding of pounding feet caught her attention, and Lena looked up to watch as two police officers pounded down the dark alleyway, beams of light from their flashlights cutting through the darkness. Sighing, Lena stepped away from the wall and held her hands up in surrender.

 

           “Freeze!”

 

           “Stay where you are.”

 

\---

 

           Sitting at the desk in an interrogation room at the police precinct, Lena fiddled with the plastic cup filled with water that she’d been given upon arrival. Across from her, the detective who’d picked her up stared at her with narrowed eyes. She’d said her name was Detective Maggie Sawyer, and had been asking Lena questions for the last half an hour.

 

           “Tell me why you were down at the docks.”

 

           “I told you, I’m not speaking to anyone without my lawyer,” Lena wearily replied, her throat feeling raw from the smoke of the fire. She picked up the cup and took a sip of water.

 

           A hard look off Detective Sawyer was met by a matching one off Lena.

 

           “If you’re not going to charge me with anything, I’d like to go,” Lena said after a few moments of silence, “I have a board meeting in a few hours.”

 

           “Miss Luthor, I can’t let you leave until I have all the facts. If you could cooperate, it would help speed things along faster,” Detective Sawyer replied, sighing when Lena pressed her lips together in a tight line, “would you like to make your phone call now?”

 

           Sighing, Lena nodded and was taken to the phone, where she hesitated. She couldn’t call her mom – that would just raise a dozen questions and a big argument – and she couldn’t let Jess know either. She could call her lawyer, but she still needed someone to come and pick her up. With a slight grimace, Lena dialled the number of the only other person she knew well enough to memorise their number.

 

 _“Hello?”_ a groggy voice answered.

 

           “Ronnie, it’s, uh, it’s Lena,” she croaked, “sorry for calling, I know it’s late, but I, um, I need your help.”

 

_“Sure, kid, what’s up?”_

 

                      Hesitating slightly, Lena sighed, “I’m at the precinct on Thirty-Second … can you come and get me, and call my lawyer for me? Her name is Samantha Arias.”

 

           There was muttered curses on the other end, and Lena listened to the sound of rustling sheets as Roulette must’ve climbed out of bed. _“Let me just get a pen for her number.”_

 

           Lena quickly recited the number once Roulette gave her the go ahead, and with a thank you, she hung the phone back up, and ran a hand through her hair. Her eyes were sore from a lack of sleep, and her clothes reeked of smoke. Boots squeaking on the cheap tiled floor of the precinct made Lena look around, where the short detective was approaching. Lena knew that she must’ve looked awful under the fluorescent lights – her skin a sickly white, with dark circles under her eyes and a split lip and bruised forehead. Giving Detective Sawyer a small nod, Lena let herself be led back to the interrogation room, where she sat back down and rested her head in her hand, patiently awaiting the arrival of her lawyer.

 

           It was almost an hour before Samantha Arias breezed in, a satchel slung over the shoulder of an expensive looking suit jacket, and a cool look on her face. “I’m Miss Luthor’s attorney. I’d like a moment alone with my client.”

 

           With a nod, the tiny detective uncrossed her arms and nodded, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her. Sitting down across from her client, Sam raised her eyebrows at Lena. “Have you given them anything?”

 

           “No.”

 

           “Good. What happened?”

 

           “I was down at the warehouses. Another one down there caught on fire.”

 

           “Yours?”

 

           Lena hesitated, “it belongs to a Miss Tess Mercer.”

 

           Sam nodded, a thoughtful look on her face, before her eyes took to roaming Lena’s face. “What about the blood?”

 

           “I was jumped by a few people. Could’ve been the ones who set off the fire.”

 

           “Right. I might be able to get you released now, otherwise you’ll have to wait until the courts open so I can get you out on bail. They haven’t officially charged you with anything yet, so I’m hoping for the former,” Sam brusquely replied.

 

           Lena nodded, her teeth worrying at her split lip as she listened. She was hoping the charges would be dropped now, because if it was later on, she could almost guarantee that the media would’ve caught wind of this by then, and they’d be waiting to catch a glimpse of her, which would lead to the argument with her mother, which was what Lena wanted to avoid more than anything. She’d almost rather be behind bars with her brother than have to suffer through another tirade about how she was the lesser child in every conceivable way.

 

           It seemed that luck was on Lena’s side though, because she was released a few hours before dawn, after cooperating with Detective Sawyer and finding that she did in fact have a warehouse down by the docks, right next to the one that burnt down, which was owned by a Tess Mercer. Her comments about a few other people jumping her as they fled the building gave the police a different lead – one that wouldn’t lead them back to Lena, and one that would send them on a wild goose chase, because she was sure they wouldn’t find the agents that had tracked Lena down.

 

           In the lobby of the police station, Lena spotted Roulette sitting on one of the rickety metal chairs, looking half asleep as she sat with her legs stretched out before her, crossed at the ankles, and her head thrown back. The low buzz of phones ringing and officers and visitors talking was almost soothing in the early morning darkness, and Lena had a strange feeling, like time was warped inside the precinct. She felt slightly disoriented as she walked over to Roulette and nudged one of her feet with her own boot.

 

           “Hey, kid,” Roulette said, stifling a yawn as she blearily looked up at Lena, “you look like shit again.”

 

           “Sorry to drag you down here,” Lena apologised, her hands deep in her pockets as she grimaced, “and thanks for coming.”

 

           Climbing to her feet, Roulette ran a hand over her weary face, “no problem. Are you good?”

 

           Shrugging half-heartedly, Lena nodded, before she glanced at her lawyer. “Thanks Sam,” Lena said, giving her a slight smile.

 

           “Things should be fine, but if they bring you in for more questioning, call me straight away. I’ll let you know if they contact me for anything else,” Sam replied, briefly touching Lena on the shoulder, “go home and get some rest, okay? And try and stay out of trouble. I much prefer corporate law.”

 

           “I’ll try,” Lena muttered, and Sam gave the two women a nod before leaving.

 

           Digging around in her pocket, Roulette came up with a pair of car keys, and jerked her head towards the door. Pushing it open, she walked outside, leaving Lena to wearily drag herself after her, breathing in deeply as the cold air washed over her. Roulette led her over to a surprisingly nice car, and Lena climbed into the passenger seat, looking around with raised eyebrows.

 

           “I might own a shitty dojo, but it’s not my only job,” Roulette told her, and Lena arched an eyebrow in question, prompting her to elaborate. “I own a few bars throughout the city. They attract an, ah, interesting crowd some nights. It makes them quite popular, which is good for business.”

 

           “What kind of crowds?”

 

           “Well, let’s just say that I don’t just run martial arts classes, and people pay well to watch people beat the shit out of each other,” Roulette said, smirking at Lena as she turned the key in the ignition. The engine roared to life, and Roulette peeled out into traffic, “you’ll have to give me directions; I don’t know where you live.”

 

           Lena was surprised to learn that her instructor ran a less savoury business, and she was almost tempted to ask whether she could come to one of the fights. She felt sure she could hold her own, but it would take time away from her extracurricular activities, and she was already getting the shit kicked out of her then anyway. Perhaps another time. They drove in silence for the most part, with Lena answering a couple of questions about why she’d been arrested and giving Roulette directions. Soon enough though, the towering building came into view, and she instructed Roulette to pull over.

 

           One hand on the door handle, Lena hesitated, turning to look at Roulette. “Thank you, Ronnie,” she murmured, turning to open the door and get out, but stopping when a gentle hand came down on her shoulder.

 

           “Listen, Lena,” Roulette said, grimacing slightly, “I don’t know what shit you get up to, and it’s none of my business, but just look after yourself, yeah? You’ve been looking pretty rough lately, so if there’s anything you need … let me know, okay?”

 

           Nodding, Lena swallowed the lump in her throat, “okay. Goodnight.”

 

           She climbed out of the car while Roulette murmured a goodbye in return, and Lena trudged over to her front door, the doorman holding it open for her and greeting her quietly as she walked inside. The bright lights hurt her eyes as she stared at the marble floor, walking over to the elevator and climbing in. A short ride to the top led her to her hallways, and she pressed her thumb to the fingerprint scanner – having left her house key in the seat of her motorbike – letting herself into her dark apartment.

 

           Feeling jittery as she walked through the dark, Lena made straight for her bedroom, stripping off her smoke smelling clothes, until she was standing in her underwear, rummaging through her drawers to find a packet of cigarettes. If she only smoked when she was stressed, this definitely counted as a stressful situation, and she could feel her anxiety building as she pulled things out of the drawers. Her room was a mess by the time she finished her search, coming up empty and making her way out of her room and over to the liquor cabinet to pour herself a glass of whiskey with shaking hands. The first glass went down easily, and Lena ran herself a hot bath while she nursed the second one, soaking in the water and washing away the soot and blood.

 

           She tumbled into bed as soon as she’d finished in the bath, and didn’t stir until there was a knock on her door a few hours later. Bolting upright, all traces of sleep faded away, and Lena pulled on a silk robe as she warily crept through her apartment, listening to whoever it was pounding on the wooden door in their impatience. Lena opened it up and came face to face with the brown haired agent from the secret organisation, and let out a huff of frustration.

 

           “For fuck’s sake.”


	9. Chapter 9

           Sitting in yet _another_ interrogation room, Lena leant back in her chair, her mouth a grim line as she waited for someone to come into the room. They’d forgone the handcuffs when she’d been dragged from her apartment – giving her only a few moments to pull on some sweatpants and a t-shirt and slip on a pair of boots – and she’d been led down to a black van, pushed into the back and led to an unknown location. Although, Lena could make a few guesses as to where they were, and at the top of the list was the building that she’d been scoping out and hacking over the past couple of days.

 

           She’d had a black bag thrown over her head during the van ride, and was blindly led through the building, and shoved into the room. No one had come in since. From Lena’s guess, it had been at least an hour since she’d been brought here, and she knew that they were watching her from the small camera in the corner of the room. She was determined to not give them the satisfaction of cracking first, so she waited instead – albeit impatiently, but she waited.

 

           Lena reckoned it was almost another hour before the door slid open, and Supergirl and the other agent she was getting familiar with walked in. Both girls stood with their hands on their hips, and Lena smiled, feeling the cut on her lip threatening to split back open as the smile stretched across her face.

 

           “What’s so funny?” Supergirl asked, her eyesbrows rising slightly.

 

           Shrugging, one side of Lena’s lips pulled up higher as she let out a small laugh. Tilting her head to the side, she observed both girls, looking at the way they stood around each other, and remembering the familiar way Supergirl had called her name – Alex. “You think you’re so intimidating with your hands on your hips,” Lena laughed, “I get it, it’s empowering, and it makes you feel like you’re in charge. It doesn’t suit you though – you look like you’re trying to convince everyone that you’re tough, but we all know that you’re not. If it wasn’t for your powers, you’d be nothing special. You on the other hand,” Lena turned her eyes to Alex, “you don’t fake it. You’re in charge, and everyone knows it. If you think that you can scare me into talking though, you’d better find a better way. Something with a little more pain.”

 

           “I can do pain,” Alex coolly replied, her eyes trained on Lena. She gave her a hard look, and Lena knew that the glint in her eyes was a warning. If she pushed this woman too far, Lena had no doubt that she would pay for it.

 

           Looking back at Supergirl, Lena let out a laugh, realising that she had crossed her arms over her chest and looked a little bit pink in the cheeks at being called out on her farce of authority.

 

           “You know, you’re _really_ not as smart as you might think, Miss Luthor,” the agent said, narrowing her eyes at Lena.

 

           “Well that’s debatable. I’m a literal genius in business and engineering,” Lena said, smiling slightly, “and am I not _right_ in the middle of your headquarters? I’m assuming it _is_ your headquarters. You might want to come up with a more convincing cover for your operations … and fire your tech guy.”

 

           “Don’t act as if you planned on getting caught,” Alex scoffed.

 

           Lena arched an eyebrow, “I haven’t. I haven’t been charged with anything … in _fact_ , you didn’t read me any rights when you forced me from my home. My lawyer will be _very_ interested to hear about that.”

 

           “We could just keep you here.”

 

           “I don’t think that you will.”

 

           “And why’s that?”

 

           Lena paused, her eyes darting around the room. There was nothing in here, just the chair that Lena sat in, and the stark white walls and floor left no room for anything to hide. “Well, if you _did_ want to catch me, you could’ve taken me in last night, but you didn’t.”

 

           “Because you blew the fucking warehouse up!”

 

           “Where’s your proof?” Lena asked, a smug smile on her face. They didn’t have proof – she knew it and so did Supergirl and this agent – and they couldn’t charge her with a crime without proof. They couldn’t get proof either, Lena had made sure of that when she’d burnt down the warehouse, and now there was nothing tying her to being the vigilante.

 

           Alex bit her lip, glancing at Supergirl out of the corner of her eyes, but Supergirl was staring at Lena. It was the only thing about this whole situation that unnerved her, and as Lena warily stared back, she remembered kissing her in the early hours of the morning. She remembered her hot mouth on Lena’s, and Lena looked away, back at Alex.

 

           “If we’re all done here, I have a business to run, Miss Danvers.”

 

           “It’s _Agent_ Danvers,” Alex snapped.

 

           Lena blinked in surprise, a smile spreading across her face as she arched an eyebrow at the two women before her. “Oh, my mistake, _Agent_ Kara Danvers.”

 

           With some satisfaction, Lena watched as Kara blanched, her eyes wide with shock as she looked right back at Lena. “I- wha- how did you know-“

 

           “Like I said, fire your tech guy,” Lena snorted, “your security is shit.”

 

           “And how would you know that, unless you hacked us?” Alex asked, narrowing her eyes at Lena as a slight smile curled her lips.

 

           Lena returned the smile with a cold one of her own, “oh no, I didn’t hack you – I don’t even know who _you_ are.”

 

           “You’ll soon find out,” Alex replied, the threat evident in her low voice.

 

           “Brilliant,” Lena said, “until then, how about you let me go, or I’ll expose this whole operation of yours, and trust me, you’ll have a bigger problem than a vigilante running around the streets. I’m sure the public would _love_ to know Supergirl’s real identity. It’d be a bigger prize than a CEO who’s trying to keep the streets _safe_. What do you do here? Nothing, as far as I can see. You don’t _care_ about the people – you’re not trying to clean up the city and get rid of the crime on the streets. You don’t care about the tax evasion or money laundering of the big corporations, or the weapons and drugs being brought into the docks. The public would tear you apart if they caught wind of this little operation you have going on. Even the government wouldn’t condone it – and if they do now, they wouldn’t once I exposed you.”

 

           Alex let out a laugh of surprise, “you’re trying to paint _us_ like the bad guys? You’ve been interfering with police business _and_ our operations here. God knows how many FBI and CIA operations you’ve jeopardised too. Just because we’re not skulking around on rooftops and in alleyways beating the shit out of people, it doesn’t mean that we’re not keeping the city safe.”

 

           “Yes, I’m sure a woman getting mugged at gunpoint is going to be grateful for the illegal immigrant that the government was busy detaining and sending back home, and I’m sure the people living off _coupons_ are pleased with the efforts government officials are making to help create jobs and fix the economy so that people can _survive.”_

 

           “What, you speak for the people now? You’re a _billionaire_ and you’ve probably never had to work for anything in your life. You talk about the minority as if you have any experience with their struggles, but everything you’ve ever had has been handed to you on a silver platter. Just because you pity people, it doesn’t mean that you get to run around and beat people up to make yourself feel better.”

 

           Lena’s eyes blazed with anger, “I don’t do anything to make _myself_ feel better, I do things because it’s the right thing to do. If no one else will help people, then I have to do it. I can preach about justice and equality as much as I like in front of a microphone, but who’s going to listen to the rich girl with a brother who _killed_ people? If I want to help, I have to put my money where my mouth is and _do_ something about it. Not sit on my ass all day. One day, you’ll realise that I’m not the bad guy here, and _you’re_ the one on the wrong side. If you’re trying to fix the corruption in this city, I’d start by looking at yourself, or you’ll find yourself in some bad situations soon enough. Not everyone will idly sit by and watch the government run National City into the ground.”

 

           “Are you threatening us?”

 

           “No, I don’t make threats,” Lena coolly replied.

 

           With a sigh, Kara unfolded her arms and laid a hand on Alex’s shoulder, getting her attention. “Alex, maybe we should-“

 

           Turning to look at her, the brunette gave Supergirl a look of anger, “no, we shouldn’t. She broke the law, and now she has to deal with the consequences.”

 

           “And what law was that exactly?” Lena piped up from her seat.

 

           “The one where you’re running around with a mask on and beating up people. It’s assault and battery – not to mention trespassing, carrying weapons and breaking and entering.”

 

           Lena scoffed, rolling her eyes, “where’s your proof?”

 

           “Supergirl followed you, three agents here have been following you,” Alex said.

 

           “And _where’s_ your proof?” Lena repeated.

 

           She saw the muscles in Alex’s jaw working, and a feeling of triumph welled up inside Lena. There was nothing they could say to her that could scare her – they had no proof; she knew it and they knew.

 

           “She’s right, Alex,” Kara murmured, giving her sister a pained look, “we have no proof. We can’t hold her against her will.”

 

           With a smug look on her face, Lena watched them quietly bicker amongst themselves, and with a start, she realised there was something else to the relationship between them. They were _sisters_. Alex hadn’t been calling Kara an agent, she’d been calling _herself_ agent. Lena blinked in surprise at the revelation, and she realised that was where Supergirl had been hiding all those years before she put on a cape – with her family. She wasn’t _just_ an alien, she had a life, and was invested in saving humanity, and for the first time, Lena realised that this had been about more than a petty rivalry to claim Lena’s territory. Kara genuinely wanted to help.

 

           Alex stormed out a moment later, and Lena blinked in surprise. She’d been too busy staring at the two girls to pay attention to what they were saying, and she raised her eyebrows slightly as she took in the sight of Kara standing before her. The red cape looked out of place in the normalness of the sparse room, and Lena watched as Kara shifted slightly, looking down at the floor while her golden curls spilled around her face.

 

           “Um, so-“

 

           “Save it. Whatever it is you’re going to say, I don't give a shit,” Lena snapped at her.

 

           They stood there in silence for a few more minutes, until Alex returned with a black hood, shoving it over Lena’s head and hauling her to her feet. Back through the building, and down to the same van she’d been brought in, Lena was roughly shoved into the back of it and driven back to her apartment.

 

           Upstairs, Lena showered and got dressed, before sitting down behind her desk and typing away at her laptop. She spent the better part of an hour researching Kara Danvers, and her sister, and then doing some more research on the fire down by the docks and Supergirl’s recent activities. All caught up to date, Lena leant back in her chair with a triumphant smile on her face. She had come out on top for the time being, and was lucky to have avoided being charged for her night time activities. One thing for sure was that this wasn’t over yet, and Lena would have to get better. Alex had been right, she wasn’t as smart as she hoped, not when it came to creeping around like a thief in the night. She was a certified genius in other areas, but that didn’t mean she could outsmart agents who did this for a living – there were different types of smart, and hers was more suited elsewhere. That didn’t mean she was going to stop though.

 

           For now, Lena would have to rebuild her operations from scrap, starting with a new outfit.

 

\---

 

           At the D.E.O. headquarters, all hell had broken loose.

 

           Alex was angry at Kara, because if she’d told the truth about Lena in the first place, they wouldn’t be in this mess. James and Lucy had backed Alex on this, while Winn had sided with Kara, having a father who had been a notorious criminal. Then Kara was angry at Alex for being angry at _her_ , because Kara was just trying to make sure that they were all right before they dragged Lena in for questioning. She was even angrier that Alex had put the team together – deliberately excluding Kara – and followed Lena, who had coincidentally been situated a few streets from Kara’s apartment. Then all hell had broken loose, and now J’onn was angry at all five of them for well and truly fucking up the whole thing, so now they had no evidence, and were back to square one with their vigilante problem. Either they would have to wait for Lena to slip up again – assuming that she would jump straight back into it, which Kara suspected that she would – _or_ they would have to try and dig up some evidence, which would be hard because Winn had been shut out of Lena’s servers the other night, and hadn’t been able to hack back into them.

 

           They were all still arguing about Lena even after she’d been dropped off at her apartment, free of all charges for the time being.

 

           “You _know_ what her brother did,” James pointed out, and Kara whirled around on him, her eyes glinting with anger.

 

           “Stay out of this, James,” Alex butted in before Kara could reply.

 

           “My parents swept my planet’s destruction under the rug, and my aunt and uncle tried to ruin this one, what does that make me?” Kara snapped.

 

           James shrugged, looking surprise at the anger in Kara’s voice as she shouted at him, “you’re different.”

 

           “And so is she!” Kara protested. She had been annoyed at the vigilante running around – had thought it reckless and stupid – but she knew that Lena wasn’t doing it to hurt people; she was doing it to _save_ people. Lena had scolded her in the alleyway, and had given Alex the same sharp words, and Kara had felt ashamed, realising that Lena had been right in many ways. It still didn’t mean that Kara agreed with what she was doing – not by a long shot – but Kara had to agree that Lena was doing the things that the cops and government agencies were overlooking or blatantly ignoring. Even the D.E.O. wasn’t exempt from that – they spent more time chasing down aliens who were just trying to make a home here on earth, than trying to stop real criminals who were impacting the city. “She’s trying to help the city – in an illegal way, maybe, but she’s still _trying_. We’re cut from the same cloth, and we both want the same things. The only difference is that I work for an agency, and she’s taken the law into her own hands.”

 

           “Exactly!” Alex exclaimed, “and it’s _illegal_ , Kara. Just because she’s pretty doesn’t mean she gets to bat her eyelashes and get away with breaking a dozen laws.”

 

           “You _know_ I don’t agree with the way she’s doing things,” Kara hotly replied, feeling her cheeks redden at the insinuation that she was being lenient because she thought Lena was attractive. Admittedly, Kara did think she was beautiful, but she was remaining objective. “You know I’ll do whatever it takes to put an end to this – whether it be by making her stop, or finding evidence to put her away.”

 

           They all fell silent for a moment, and then Alex ran a hand over her weary face, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that you wouldn’t put your job first, or the law first, but you know that what she’s doing is wrong.”

 

           “Yeah well, I think she might be right on one thing – it depends on whose side you’re on,” Kara murmured, turning around and walking away.

 

           “Where are you going?” Alex called after her.

 

           “I’ve got some _legal_ lifesaving to do … you know, so I can help keep the city safe, unlike everyone else here,” Kara snarkily replied, before shooting off into the sky.


	10. Chapter 10

           Lena spent the rest of the day sitting in the dark of her office, trying to figure out a way out of her situation. She was off for now, but the dark haired agent – Supergirl’s _sister_ – wouldn’t let her get away with this _that_ easily. Lena had threatened to out her sister to the world, and the snarky agent hadn’t taken too kindly to it. She was sure that if she’d been officially arrested and read her rights, Lena would still be stuck in the middle of their headquarters. Not to mention the fact that she’d _almost_ been stupid enough to implicate herself in hacking – but she’d never outright said it, and she’d been telling the truth when she said she didn’t know who they were. She’d been lucky.

 

           She didn’t leave her office until a knock on her front door caught her attention, and Lena sighed as she pushed back her chair and climbed to her feet. Pulling open the office door, Lena was surprised to see that it was pitch black outside. Walking through the apartment, she made her way to the front door and unlocked it, pulling it open to reveal a meek looking blonde girl wearing a pastel sweater and a pair of glasses. Lena blinked in surprise; she knew those blue eyes. It was strange just how drastic the difference between this girl and Supergirl really was, and she wasn’t surprised that more people hadn’t figured it out, even though it was just a pair of glasses. Getting over her surprise, Lena glared at the girl standing before her.

 

           “Can’t you and your gang just leave me the fuck alone?” Lena snapped, starting to close the door.

 

           A hand stopped it. “Miss Luthor, please, can I just have a few minutes of your time? We need to talk. I don’t want any trouble.”

 

           “Then what _do_ you want?” Lena asked, yanking the door back open to give Kara another frown.

 

           “Can I come in?” she asked, a warm look on her face as she looked at Lena. She didn’t seem the least bit angry or cold towards Lena, and it took Lena off guard, so much so that she opened the door and let her inside. Kara quickly stepped inside, as if she was afraid that Lena would change her mind, and she shut the door behind her before hurrying down the hallway after Lena. “My name’s Kara, by the way.”

 

           “I know,” Lena bluntly replied, leading them to the kitchen. She sat down on one of the stools at the island counter, and closely watched Kara pull one of them out and perch on the edge of it. “Get on with it then.”

 

           Kara let out a small sigh, pushing the glasses up her nose in what Lena assumed was a nervous habit. “Um, well, I just- there are things we need to talk about.”

 

           “Are there?”

 

           “Well, uh, you see … there are things that no one told you yesterday when you got brought in. They’re not going to let you go – I’ve tried to get them to drop it – and they’re out there now trying to find evidence to lock you away. They think you’re going to out Supergirl, and they need to find a way to stop you. You need to be careful.”

 

           “Why do you care?”

 

           Kara hesitated, opening and closing her mouth a few times before she shrugged, “because despite everything, I think that your motives were right. That doesn’t mean _you_ were right, and you need to stop all of this now before it goes even further. You’re going to kill someone if you keep this up – you could’ve _killed_ Supergirl.”

 

           “Do you always refer to yourself in the third person?” Lena dryly asked.

 

           “I’m _not_ Supergirl,” Kara spluttered, balling her hands into fists.

 

           “Yeah, okay Supergirl,” Lena snorted, “your flimsy glasses do nothing to hide that scar on your head. Besides, if I wanted you dead, you’d be dead. I may not be a qualified agent, like your sister, but I have black belts and a good aim.”

 

           Kara’s mouth fell open in surprise, “how did you know- nevermind, turn around.”

 

           Lena frowned and whirled around, the blood draining out of her face as she stared at the red caped figure floating outside her window. She turned back around, giving Kara an accusing look, before whipping back around. Scrambling off her stool, she walked over to the window and stared at the figure outside.

 

           “Miss Luthor, may I come in?”

 

           Turning back around, Lena gave Kara a hard look, “what kind of alien bullshit is this? Is it some kind of mind trick?”

 

           “No, it’s Supergirl,” Kara slowly said with slightly raised eyebrows.

 

           Lena hesitated, before opening the door leading to the balcony and watching as Supergirl gently landed on it, before walking in and shutting the door behind her. With a wary look on her face, Lena grabbed her by the arm as Supergirl walked past her, and she let out a small sound of surprise when her hand didn’t pass straight through her.

 

           “What is this?”

 

           “Ah, Miss Danvers, I didn’t know you’d be here. I thought you’d still be at the labs,” Supergirl said, standing with her hands on her hips.

 

           Lena watched the exchange with a confused look on her face, trying to figure out what was going on. “How the _hell_ is there two of you?” Lena asked. 

 

           “Oh, um, well, you see the thing is, Supergirl is an alien,” Kara said, a bright smile on her face.

 

           “No shit,” Lena huffed, rolling her eyes.

 

           “Which means that her true form is an alien one … but she can shapeshift. She borrows my form a lot, because her real one is a little too … green.”

 

           Lena gave Supergirl a sceptical look, “green?” As she spoke the caped girl before her morphed into a green alien, and Lena let out a startled shout, both intrigued and shocked by the reveal.

 

           “So, um, you’re not wrong about Supergirl being me, but you’re _wrong_ about me being her,” Kara said, giving Lena an apologetic smile, “sorry to spoil your fun.”

 

           “Well then who the fuck are _you?”_ she asked Kara.

 

           “Kara Danvers … I’m a lab researcher in alien biology,” Kara told her, “I _do_ work at the agency, but I work in the science department, so …”

 

           Lena let out a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. How could she have been _so_ wrong? She had nothing to bargain with now, and they knew and she knew it, and as soon as they got the evidence they needed, she would be sent to prison. She would become her brother, and that thought scared Lena more than anything. Standing there in shock, Lena was dimly aware of a knock on her door, but couldn’t bring herself to answer it.

 

           “Would you like me to answer it?” Kara asked, raising her eyebrows slightly as she jerked her thumb towards the hallway. Lena numbly nodded, concocting a plan in her head, and she slowly reached for her phone on the counter, quickly typing out a text.

 

_I need you to dress in all black, put on a mask and let yourself be seen beating up someone in an alleyway. Please don’t ask any questions, but I’m fucked and I don’t have anyone else to help. I’ll answer anything you want later on._

           She sent it to Veronica, and put her phone back in her pocket, staring hard at Supergirl as she watched Lena. It buzzed in her pocket, but Lena didn’t pull it out, she just watched as Kara retuned with her sister in tow, and Lena let out a loud groan.

 

           “Miss Luthor, I’m placing you under arrest for vigilantism, assault, breaking and entering, arson, and battery,” Alex said, starting towards Lena, while a woman – another agent – hung back.

 

           “What proof do you have?” Lena asked.

 

           The woman held up Lena’s pants – the ones she wore as the Shadow – and gave Lena a hard look. “These pants are made with a fabric manufactured by L-Corp, and is the same kind of fabric that the vigilante’s outfit is made out of. It's fireproof - there were scraps left over at the scene of the warehouse.”

 

           “I _run_ L-Corp, of course I have clothes made out of it,” Lena snapped, trying not to let herself panic, “and they were in my bedroom. How could you have got them without breaking and entering _without_ a warrant?”

 

           “The same way you hacked us, but didn’t hack _us_ ,” Alex said, “now, hands behind your back. It doesn’t need to be more difficult than it needs to be.”

 

           Lena grit her teeth as she was turned around, and willingly let Alex cuff her. Sam was going to have her money cut out for her with getting Lena out of this situation. She cursed herself for not having destroyed the pants – she had been stupid to think that they wouldn’t stoop so low as to break into her apartment – and she couldn’t even prove that they’d broken into her apartment. Looking straight ahead, Lena could see the shadow of a person in the corner of her eye, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm herself down so that her mind would stop playing tricks on her. He had been everywhere she looked lately, and with all of the drama happening with Supergirl, Lena had found herself an easy target for stress to build up, making her see Jack even more than usual.

 

           The other agent ordered them to stop a moment later, “wait! There’s a report coming in of a sighting of the Shadow downtown.”

 

           “That’s not possible,” Alex spluttered, looking at Lena.

 

           “Cops are on the scene, they’ve confirmed that it’s definitely them. They just took down someone carrying a hidden gun,” the woman said, giving Alex an apologetic look, and Lena had to will herself not to smile. Roulette had done it. It had only been five minutes, but she could imagine her teacher running to the nearest alley and beating the shit out of the first dodgy person she found. Lena would have to thank her properly. “We should go if we want to find out where the kryptonite is. Our main priority is stopping this person from using alien technology against Supergirl,” the agent said, looking to Alex for orders.

 

           Alex un-cuffed Lena with a grim look on her face, “we can’t just let her go. She knows too much – she knows about our department. We’ll have to wipe her memory.”

 

           “Wha- no!” Lena spluttered, “you can’t just invade my mind like that. I have rights!”

 

           “She’s right, Alex,” Supergirl said, “I can’t force her to let me erase her memories. It goes against my morals and against the code of ethics. Without consent, I won’t do it, even if it compromises our safety.”

 

           The other agent sighed, “well, she can’t be allowed to just run around with all of this information inside her head. She could tell _anyone_.”

 

           “What about an NDA?” Kara suggested, “we’ve all signed them. Supergirl is technically not a qualified field agent, _or_ human, and she still gets trusted with government secrets.”

 

           “ _Because_ she works for the government,” Alex reminded her with an exasperated sigh, “Miss Luthor does _not_.”

 

           “Then hire her as a consultant,” Supergirl suggested, and all eyes went to the caped figure, who just shrugged slightly, “we need better security, if we’re _that_ easy to hack. We can use L-Corp’s facilities, and the new fabric they’ve manufactured will be good for new uniforms. We can hire her as a consultant that provides security and technological guidance.”

 

           Lena snorted, “well I’m not for sale.”

 

           “You either sign an NDA and do _exactly_ what we say, or you’ll find yourself in a cell.”

 

           “On what charges?” Lena asked, stubbornly raising her chin, “your proof just fell through. It’s _not_ me, and whatever shit you’re trying to pull has nothing to do with me. Let me go, and I won’t get my lawyer to press charges against all of you, and I’ll sign your silly little NDA.”

 

           “And why should we trust you not to tell anyone?” Alex asked, crossing her arms over her chest as she narrowed her eyes at Lena.

 

           Giving her a lopsided smile, void of any humour, Lena tilted her head to the side, “I don’t have anyone to tell. Having a sociopathic brother has its occasional perks, and besides, you can charge me with breaching your contract then.”

 

           They were at a stalemate, and one of them had to budge and it wasn’t going to be Lena. No way was she going to let an alien mess around with the insides of her head – her brain was her greatest weapon – she would rather go to prison than let them play with her mind. Her mind already played tricks on her itself; she didn’t need other people adding to it. It was a few minutes of tense silence before Alex sighed.

 

           “Fine, I’ll have an NDA brought here immediately. Agent Lane, fetch Agent Olsen and check out the scene where the cops are – I want to know _exactly_ what they saw. Supergirl, if you’d be so kind as to fetch the NDA. I’ll wait here with Miss Luthor. Kara, you can go home.”

 

           “I’ll stay,” Kara insisted, sitting herself back down on the stool she’d occupied when Lena had let her into the apartment. Lena made a sound of protest as she watched Kara make herself at home in her apartment, but she held her tongue as she scowled at her. Supergirl left via the balcony, and this Agent Lane left through the front door, leaving Lena leaning on her kitchen counters, while Alex stood nearby with her arms crossed and Kara sat on the stool, swinging her legs back and forth.

 

           Barely five minutes of silence passed before Supergirl landed and walked back inside, a document in hand, which she laid down before Lena, along with a pen. Lena pulled it towards her, her eyes skimming over the front page of the form. “I’ll give my lawyer a call and get back to you,” Lena said.

 

           “No, you’ll sign it now,” Alex stiffly replied, “I’m not leaving until I have your written agreement that you’re not going to talk. You could’ve avoided this whole mess if you had just stayed away from all of this, and now, you have to sign the deal or we’ll take you into protective custody.”

 

           Glowering at her, Lena started to read through the document – she wasn’t naïve enough to just sign it, she was a businesswoman, she was smarter than that – and Alex let out an impatient sigh. To piss her off even more, Lena took her time reading it, paying special attention to the fine details of the NDA. It was ten minutes before she finished reading the whole thing over, and she begrudgingly admitted that it was fair. She wouldn’t speak a word about what she’d learnt was the Department of Extra-Normal Operations, and in return, she could live her life in peace. If she _did_ spill information about it though, she was in deep shit. Sighing, Lena picked up the pen and clicked it, before signing her name with a flourish. It was a better deal than she could’ve hoped for – and she reminded herself that it was only thanks to Roulette that she wasn’t being dragged away in handcuffs.

 

           Handing the signed document to Alex, along with the pen, Lena gave her a hard look. “Now get out of my apartment. All of you.”

 

           Turning to look at her sister, Alex gave her arm a squeeze, “I need to go and meet up with Lucy and James. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

 

           Kara nodded, and Lena watched the loving smile she gave her sister, and the way that Alex’s expression softened. A pang of jealousy swept through Lena – she’d never had that with Lex – and she looked away, her eyes falling on Supergirl, who let herself back onto the balcony and took off without another word. Alex left, and Lena let out a sigh of relief, before her eyes landed on Kara, who had lingered behind. She wore an anxious look on her face, and her teeth worried at her bottom lip as she nervously pushed her glasses up.

 

           “Why did you kiss me?” Kara blurted out, her cheeks turning slightly pink as she flushed.

 

           Lena turned around to look at her, a troubled look on her face as she hesitated, “I kissed Supergirl, not you.”

 

           “Right,” Kara muttered, biting her lip as she looked down at the floor.

 

           “I don’t know,” Lena added after a moment, “I panicked. Stress, anxiety … they make me … unsteady. I had to do _something_. You- Supergirl was there. My turn for a questions; why don’t you hate me?”

 

           Kara shrugged, “forgiveness is always an option.”

 

           “What do you need to forgive me for? I only met you an hour ago, remember?” Lena said, smirking at Kara.

 

           Closing her eyes, Kara let out a shaky breath before her eyelashes fluttered open and she locked eyes with Lena. “I don’t hate you because I still don’t know why you’re doing this. I don’t understand. You say you want to help people, but there are other ways to do it without hurting people. I don’t hate you, and I won’t turn you in yet, because I’m still trying to figure you out. You’re an enigma, and I can’t help but shake the feeling that you’re not doing this for yourself – you’re doing it for some other reason. You _do_ want to help people though, I know that without a doubt, and I don’t want you to go to prison for trying to help – I just want you to stop. Before you badly hurt someone.”

 

           Lena hesitated. The truth was that she enjoyed saving people from common crimes like muggings and theft, and she liked to take down the big corporations too. She found that her best days came after the longest and darkest nights of ridding the streets of the evil that pervaded the city. She kept her promise to Jack.

 

           “Who was it?” Kara gently asked, “the person you lost. Your brother?”

 

           Turning around, Lena stormed over to the liquor cabinet and poured herself a glass of whiskey with a shaking hand, spilling some of the amber liquid over the counter in her hurry. The first glass went down easy.

 

           “You should go,” Lena muttered, “I don’t need your pity.”

 

           “I don’t pity you,” Kara softly murmured, “I want to help you.”

 

           Lena whirled around on her, her face contorted into a snarl of anger, “you know fuck all about me, and what I do is none of your business. I don’t want you to _save_ me, I don’t want you sticking your nose into my personal business, and I _don’t_ want you in my fucking apartment! Now get _out_.”

 

           Kara nodded, pulling something out of her pocket and placing it down on the counter. It was a small business card, and Lena stared at it as she watched Kara walk over to the mouth of the hallway. “If you need anything, give me a call. My offer still stands.”

 

           Squeezing her eyes shut, Lena ran a hand over her weary face, before she turned and filled her glass up with more whiskey. It had been a long day, and she just wanted it to be over. She was exhausted – mentally _and_ physically drained – and she was still feeling the effects of the fire, her stint in the precinct _and_ the D.E.O. interrogation rooms, and now this. Lena just wanted to go to bed. First, she pulled her phone out of her pocket though, to save Kara’s number just in case, even though it went against her better judgement. She had a message off Roulette, and as Lena read the text on the screen, she bit back a frustrated groan.

 

_I’ll be expecting answers._


	11. Chapter 11

             Lena spent the next week avoiding Roulette, skipping her martial arts lessons and spending all of her time at L-Corp, although she did drop her … _friend_ messages asking her to make appearances throughout the city. The D.E.O. would definitely be watching her, and they would know that she was in her office whenever the Shadow was seen. She threw herself into her work with a fervour that surprised even Lillian, who seemed to think that her daughter had taken her words to heart and had cleaned up her act. Whichever spies she had within the company were most certainly reporting back to Lillian, because she showed up at the office the following Friday afternoon, with a smug look on her face as she let herself into Lena’s office.

 

             “You certainly look better than the last time I saw you,” Lillian commented.

 

             “And you’re as pleasant as always, mom,” Lena snarkily replied, turning the page of the report that she was currently reading through.

 

             Lillian sighed, sitting down on the seat across from Lena’s desk and giving her daughter an exasperated look. “Have you taken my words seriously?”

 

             “When have I ever,” Lena snorted, “I’m doing this for my own benefit.”

 

             “I don’t care what your motives are, only that you’re doing your job properly … and taking care of yourself.”

 

             “The job comes first though, right?” Lena coldly laughed.

 

             “Lena-“

 

             She looked up at her mom, giving her a hard look, “don’t bother trying to sugarcoat things. I know that the reputation of this family comes first. I’m not deluded into thinking any different.”

 

             “You _are_ this job, so you _are_ this family’s reputation. You might think I’m harsh, but you know that you haven’t been at your best since he-“

 

             “I don’t need you to tell me how I’ve been,” Lena curtly replied, “it’s not like you would know anyway. You stuck me in there, brought me back home and _ignored_ me while the shrinks sorted me out, and you’ve seen me a handful of times since then, so don’t act like you know anything about me.”

 

             “I know more than you think,” Lillian coolly replied, her eyes drilling into Lena’s. “Why were you arrested last week?”

 

             Lean bit back a curse. Of course her mom would find out eventually, even if the press didn’t catch wind of it, but what scared Lena the most was that Lillian might know _more_ than that. She had a knack for knowing everything that was going on, and showing up at the most inconvenient times – inconvenient for Lena that was – and she suspected that there was some other reason why her mom was visiting her. It was never _just_ a social visit.

 

             “I was down at one of my warehouses near the docks. Another one caught on fire, so they brought me in for questioning. Thought I might know something.”

 

             “And _do_ you?”

 

             “I wouldn’t be sitting here if I was involved,” Lena said, arching an eyebrow at her mother.

 

             Lillian stared at her intensely for a few moments, “keep it that way.”

 

             Lena nodded, turning back to the papers in front of her. She scrawled a few notes in the margins, before flipping to the next page, pushing her glasses up her nose as she read over the statistics. It was a few moments of tense silence, before Lena looked back up at Lillian, raising her eyebrows expectantly. “Was there something else I can help you with?”

 

             “No.”

 

             “Then I’m sure you don’t need help finding the door, seeing as you’re so good at barging in,” Lena stiffly replied.

 

             Lillian made a sound of disapproval, but climbed to her feet, hitching her bag up on her shoulder, and making for the door. She paused before she left, turning to look at her daughter, who had busied herself with her work again.

 

             “Call if you need anything.” She didn’t wait for a reply – she knew she wouldn’t get one.

 

\---

 

             It was late when Lena got home that night, pulling her key out of her bag as the elevator doors opened. She froze as she took in the sight of a woman leaning against the wall outside her door, and Lena bit back a curse.

 

             “Hey kid,” Roulette said, giving her a concerned look.

 

             “What’re you doing here?”

 

             “Waiting for you.”

 

             Lena let out a snort of laughter, “no shit. You shouldn’t be here though.”

 

             “You owe me answers,” Roulette reminded her, her eyebrows raised expectantly.

 

             Lena brushed past her and unlocked her door, before walking inside and kicking her heels off. She picked them up and walked further inside, heading towards the kitchen and leaving Veronica to follow after her. It was dark inside, and Lena fumbled for the light switch, before shrugging out of her coat and hanging it up on the coat stand and leaving her heels neatly beside it.

 

             “You look … different,” Roulette said, her head tilted to the side as she looked at Lena. She had only ever seen Lena in her martial arts uniform or some other form of workout or casual clothes, and the sleek designer dress and prim and proper hair and makeup were a stark contrast to the girl who let herself get beaten black and blue in class.

 

             “Sweats aren’t appropriate for a CEO,” Lena said, giving her a wry smile.

 

             Roulette let out a quick laugh, crossing her arms over her chest as she lingered in the mouth of the hallway. Lena looked at her with a blank expression on her face, “what do you want, Ronnie?”

 

             “I already told you; answers,” Roulette said, shrugging half-heartedly.

 

             Lena fell silent, biting her lip as she debated whether or not she should let Roulette stay. There would be a dozen difficult questions, and Lena couldn’t answer them all, but she also knew that she had promised her teacher answers in return for the favour, and Roulette had readily agreed.

 

             “Do you want to grab a drink?” Roulette asked, tilting her head to the side as she watched Lena silently struggle with whether or not she should tell the truth, hesitating for a moment, before nodding. She quickly got changed into jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, slipping on black boots and grabbing her keys, before following Roulette out. In Roulette’s car, they drove in silence through the city, watching as the upscale businesses and restaurants, and high end designer stores gave way to the clubs and bars and more affordable places to eat. Parking down a side street, Roulette put the car in park and climbed out, leaving Lena to follow after her.

 

             A well lit bar came into view, with the muffled sound of people laughing as jazz music playing in the background came through the closed door. Roulette yanked it open, and Lena realised that it was one of the bars that she said she owned as she followed her inside. It was packed, and she suspected it had something to do with the underground fighting that Roulette said she ran, and Lena looked around at the crowd of burly men, and a few tough looking women, and knew that they would all find themselves downstairs when the hour grew late enough. To Lena’s surprise, Roulette led them behind the bar and disappeared through a back door. Up a rickety set of wooden stairs, Lena followed her and ended up in Roulette’s spacious apartment.

 

             It was comfortable and homely, and Lena couldn’t even hear the dozens of people packed into the room below them as she took a seat on one of the bar stools in the kitchen. She watched as Roulette brewed some coffee for them both and set down a cup in front of Lena, who let out a quiet laugh.

 

             “This wasn’t the kind of drink I was expecting.”

 

             “I can add a splash of whiskey if you’d like,” Roulette offered, sitting down next to Lena and taking a sip of her own coffee.

 

             “It’s fine. Do you- do you have any cigarettes though?” Lena asked, feeling jittery as she stared hopefully at Roulette. She was on edge and could feel the nerves setting in as she realised that there was no way out of this. Roulette already knew – or suspected at least – and Lena couldn’t come up with a good enough lie as to why she’d asked her to dress in all black and be seen fighting criminals throughout the week.

 

             “It’s a bad habit, kid, you need to cut it,” Roulette said, “especially if you want to stay fit enough to beat the shit out of some assholes.”

 

             Lena choked on her coffee, and set it back down; perhaps caffeine wasn’t the best idea. She gave Roulette a hesitant smile, “I’ll take that whiskey now if you don’t mind.”

 

             Shaking her head as she smiled, Roulette went to fetch them both glasses and added a splash of alcohol to them both, before sliding one across the counter to Lena. Sitting back down, Roulette raised her eyebrows at the younger girl as she sipped her own drink. “So?”

 

             “Just say you already know,” Lena sighed, drinking her own whiskey and wincing as it burned on the way down.

 

             “I want to hear you say it,” Roulette said, giving her a hard look, “I want you to admit that you’re using what _I_ taught you to hurt people.”

 

             Lena felt anger bubble up inside her, “don’t act like you’re better than me when you have illegal _fight clubs_ happening beneath our very feet.”

 

             “I didn’t say I was better, but at least both fighters in my fight clubs are consenting people.”

 

             “Oh come on, Ronnie. You _know_ that I only take down criminals. Yes, some of them are just trying to make a living, but some of them are fucking _awful_ and deserve it. Either way, they’re all criminals.”

 

             “And you,” Roulette said, giving Lena a sharp smile.

 

             Lena scoffed, “saving innocent people and making the city better isn’t criminal activity.”

 

             “No, but doing it outside the law is,” Roulette reminded her, and Lena grit her teeth in frustration. Everyone was so eager to paint her as the bad guy, when all Lena wanted to do was look out for the people who were overlooked by the government, who were walked all over or ignored whenever something bad happened to them. “Listen, kid, you know I would never turn you in, and it’s your life, so you can do what you want. I don’t like you risking your life for something so stupid, _but_ I get your motives. I don’t like you using what I taught you to fight though. Martial arts aren’t an excuse to give someone who pisses you off a good beating, and if I’d known when you came to me, I wouldn’t have started training you.”

 

             “Jack,” Lena choked out, her eyes glistening with tears as she looked up at Roulette, “it was Jack who started it.”

 

             “I- wha-“ Roulette spluttered, her brow furrowing in confusion, “he’s dead, Lena.”

 

             “I know,” Lena snapped, before her voice dropped to a whisper to stop it from shaking, “I held him as he died right in front of me. He’d been shot by someone – I’m still trying to figure out who – and he was wearing a black mask. He started it six months before I took over, and I-I did it because he made me promise. _He_ asked me to do this.”

 

             Reaching out, Roulette laid a gentle hand on Lena’s shoulder, and Lena shied away from the touch, draining her whiskey in one big gulp. Slamming the glass down on the counter, she reached for the coffee, not drinking it, just letting the mug warm her hands as she tried to stop her bottom lip from trembling.

 

             “Y-you found him?” Roulette softly asked.

 

             Lena nodded, drawing in a shaky breath. “I-I ran before anyone got there … I took the mask. I took over, just like he asked, and I-I’ve been doing this ever since.”

 

             “Okay,” Roulette murmured.

 

 _“Okay?”_ Lena choked out as she laughed, giving Veronica an incredulous look. “That’s it?”

 

             “I’m not going to tell anyone, and if this is why you’re doing it … find the bastard who shot him, yeah? I liked the charming idiot, and I know he was all you had. Well, the only person you trusted – you know I would help with anything.”

 

             Nodding, Lena gave her a grim smile, “thank you, for covering for me.”

 

             “Was it the cops?”

 

             Lena hesitated, before nodding again. “Yeah, both times. I think they’re off my back now … for the time being. I’ve been burying the rest of the evidence, just in case.”

 

             “Good.”

 

             She stayed for a little while longer, hesitantly answering questions whenever Roulette asked them, while trying to keep any mention of Supergirl or the D.E.O. out of her answers. She trusted Roulette – she didn’t have any other choice – and Lena knew that she wouldn’t be caught out by her. If anything, knowing that Roulette ran fight clubs in the basement of her clubs was more of a guarantee of her silence, because they both had dirt on each other, and Roulette had helped Lena out with her vigilante work. If Roulette tried to take down Lena, she would expect Lena to bring her down with her, and vice versa with Lena. She supposed that was why Roulette agreed to help her, so that she had dirt on Lena too, in case they backstabbed each other. Neither of them would though. They weren’t exactly friends, but they cared about each other, almost in a sisterly way.

 

             Eventually, Roulette had to go to work though, taking bets on the fights and playing referee for the matches. She invited Lena along to one of them some time, telling her that she could beat people up for free without almost getting busted by the cops, and Lena smiled, telling her she would think about it. Refusing Roulette’s offer for a quick ride home, Lena thanked her once more, and bid her goodnight, before slipping out into the cool night air. Being Friday night, the streets were packed with people going out for drinks, and Lena took in the sight of the flashing neon lights, and the sound of thumping music from nightclubs, mixing with the sounds of girls squealing with laughter, and angry drunk men shouting outside bars. There would be a lot of crime tonight, and Lena considered getting in a few busts, before she resigned herself to the fact that she didn’t have a new outfit yet. She didn’t want to end up getting shot because she was too impatient to wait until things settled down.

 

             Pulling the hood of her sweatshirt up, Lena slipped into an alley across the road and jumped up onto a dumpster, before leaping to the bottom rung of a fire escape. Hauling herself up hand over hand, Lena made her way up to the roof, before leaping across to the next building. She spent the next half an hour jumping over pipes and vents, vaulting across the gaps between apartment buildings, and scaling chain link fences as she made her way back towards the centre of the city. Her biggest fault was that she’d forgotten about the police in her worry about the D.E.O., and had been careless when getting dressed. She was dressed in all black – running up walls and jumping across alleyways – and of _course_ they would be looking for the Shadow. Roulette had spent the past week covering for her, wearing a black hooded sweatshirt, and Lena looked exactly like her.

 

             She ran across a road and slipped into the nearest dark alley, stepping in puddles and crunching litter beneath her feet as she made for the low roof at the end of the building. It would be easy to scramble up the brick wall, but she wasn’t quick enough to dart out of sight, and was only halfway down the alley when a shout reached her ears and a beam of light hit her back.

 

             “Freeze!” Lena stopped mid-step, holding her hands up; she had no doubt that there was a gun trained on her back, and the officer would shoot the moment that she moved. “Turn around! Slowly,” the voice commanded her, and Lena felt like it was familiar. Keeping her head ducked down, and her face hidden in the shadows of her hood, she tried to sneak a peek at the cop as she turned around. It was Detective Sawyer. Lena bit back a curse. Of all the luck in the world, she had to run into _this_ detective again, instead of another one. Maggie would recognise her for sure, because she’d already been suspicious enough about Lena being down at the docks. The only option she had was to run.

 

             She didn’t hesitate, and neither did Maggie.

 

             As Lena moved, a loud gunshot reached her ears, and Lena stumbled as she turned, feeling heat spread through one side of her stomach. The gunshot echoed in the alley, and Lena felt confused – it didn’t hurt at all and she wasn’t sure that she’d actually been shot. But she knew that she had to have been shot, because something had hit her. Not pausing to check, Lena darted down the alley, listening to the pounding feet chase after her as Maggie tried to run her down. Lena was closer to the wall though, and she quickly hauled herself up, biting back curses as she willed her numb limbs to move. Her hands scrambled for purchase in the gaps between the bricks, and she prayed that she didn’t leave any traces of blood behind as she pulled herself over the lip of the roof. Crawling forward on all fours, Lena let out a whimper of pain as the numbness in her side started to burn, but she just bit her tongue and lurched to her feet. Running as fast as she could, and willing herself not to pass out, Lena ran to the edge of the building, throwing herself across the gap and let out a quiet exclamation of pain as she skinned her palms on the gravel and glass on the roof of the building.

 

             By the time she made it back to her building, her breathing laboured and her face deathly white as she fumbled for the emergency exit door around the back, Lena could feel darkness creeping in. She had definitely been shot – the pain in her side was testament to that – and Lena had one hand clamped down where the heat in her stomach was radiating from, and she pounded on the steps of the emergency stairs, hoping that she didn’t leave a trail of blood behind.

 

             She unlocked her apartment door with a shaking hand, letting herself in and falling back against the door. Feeling as if she was drunk, Lena stumbled down the hallway, her steps uneven and lurching as her vision blurred. Fumbling on the counter for her phone, where she had left it earlier, Lena picked it up. She rang Roulette, and then again when she didn’t pick up, and Lena blinked back tears as her anger bubbled up. There was no one else she could call – only her mom – and she couldn’t call an ambulance because they would have to report a gunshot wound to the police, and the ballistics would show that it was from a police weapon. In her confusion, one thought stood out; there was someone else she could call. With a shaking hand, she scrolled through her contacts, her thumb hovering over one number, before she pressed it and prayed that she would pick up.

 

_“Hello?”_

 

             “Kara,” Lena breathlessly sobbed, “I’ve been shot.”

 

\---

 

             She’d managed to open the balcony door before stumbling to the bathroom in her bedroom, grabbing a fluffy white towel and sitting on the floor of the shower while she pressed the towel to her stomach, slowly staining it red. It hurt now, it didn’t just burn, it _hurt,_ but Lena knew that she hadn’t been hit anywhere critical. She was surprised at how long it took gunshot wounds to affect a person – they always made the deaths look instantaneous on TV, no matter where they got shot – and Lena was laughing to herself when a shout reached her ears.

 

             “Lena?!”

 

             “In h-here she stammered,” trying not to laugh, and wondering if she was in shock. It definitely felt like she was. She felt freezing cold, and she couldn’t stop shaking or laughing, even as she felt sweat run down the side of her face.

 

             Kara burst into the bathroom with a look of panic on her face, taking in the sight of Lena curled up in the corner of the massive shower, her face as white as a ghost and a bloody smile on her face. Her eyes were sunken and she was soaked with sweat – she looked terrible. Worst of all was the red towel pressed to her stomach, and the hint of white let Kara know that the towel hadn’t started off red.

 

             “Lena,” Kara breathlessly said, running forward and stepping through the open shower door to collapse to her knees before Lena.

 

             “How’d you get in, huh? Th-the front door’s locked,” Lena said, letting out a shaky laugh, “I _did_ open the b-balcony though. Very i-interesting.”

 

             “Let me see,” Kara said, pushing Lena’s bloodstained hands aside and removing the towel. Her warm hands pushed Lena’s sweatshirt and t-shirt up, exposing a small hole in her side, which pumped out more blood that stained Lena’s pale skin red. Muttering a curse in a different language, Kara pressed the towel back to Lena’s stomach, pressing it firmly against her skin.

 

             Lena’s head lolled to the side as she stared up at Kara, “what language was that?”

 

             “French,” Kara lied, “do you have a first aid kit?”

 

             “Sous l’évier,” Lena muttered, watching confusion flash across Kara’s face and letting out a quick laugh. “Yeah, I didn’t think it was French. It’s under the sink.”

 

             Kara picked up Lena’s hand and pressed it back on the towel, before she darted out of the shower and pulled open the cupboards beneath the sink, knocking over all of Lena’s toiletries and makeup as she looked for the first aid kit. She pulled out a large red bag, dumping it on the floor, before she ran back out of the bathroom, leaving Lena staring after her in confusion. Kara was barely gone a second, before she came back in with a bottle of vodka and a bottle of whiskey, looking three shades whiter than she had been when she arrived.

 

             “I’m assuming you don’t want to go to a hospital?” Kara asked as she picked up the first aid kit and brought everything into the shower, pulling a few more towels off the rack in a hurry.

 

             “No,” Lena murmured, her eyes closing for a moment. She struggled to open them again, looking at Kara through half-lidded eyes. “Will you help me?”

 

             Letting out a hysterical laugh, Kara tore open the first aid kit and tipped it upside down, scrambling through the contents in search of what she needed. The first thing Lena had done when she’d taken to fighting crime was invest in a good first aid kit, and this one held everything Kara would need to pull a bullet out – except anaesthesia. She picked up a packet of rubber gloves and tore them open, pulling one on and glancing up at Lena. “Well I’m not going to let you _die.”_

 

             “No hospitals,” Lena mumbled, a feeling of relief washing over her.

 

             “I’ll try,” Kara muttered, fumbling with the bottle cap of the whiskey and shoving it in Lena’s hand, tilting the bottle up. “Drink. You’ll need it.”

 

             Lena choked on the whiskey, sending it running down her chin and neck as Kara kept the bottle tilted up, forcing her to drink more so that she got drunk – quickly – in the hopes that it would numb the pain a little. The bottle had been half empty when Kara had brought it in, and she didn’t bring it away until the last drops trickled out. Kara then tore one of the towels, shoving a piece of it in Lena’s mouth to stop her from biting her own tongue off. Surprised at how familiar Kara seemed to be with doing it all, she tried to remain conscious to watch as Kara tore open some of the metal tools, a packet of gauze, and a small needle. She pulled the towel away from Lena’s side and jabbed her with the needle, and Lena’s hiss of pain was choked off by the towel as a stabbing sensation went through her body. Kara quickly emptied the contents of the syringe into Lena.

 

             Kara’s scared blue eyes looked at Lena as she lifted the bottle of vodka, pouring some over the medical instruments to sanitise them. “This is going to hurt like hell. Pass out if you can – it’ll help.”

 

             Lena nodded, and a moment later, Kara poured a stream of vodka onto the wound, making soothing noises and firmly holding Lena in place as she screamed and writhed on the shower floor. A river of red ran off her stomach and began to pool beneath Lena, as the vodka washed away the blood and sanitised the hole in her side. Making hushing sounds, Kara picked up one of the instruments and, with a pained look on her face, poked it into the wound. The muffled scream that fell past Lena’s lips was enough to make Kara pause, but Lena shook her head as she whimpered, her eyes silently urging Kara on when she couldn’t form the words. Pushing onwards, and through Lena’s screams, Kara poked around in the wound, and Lena thought she was going to be sick. It didn’t take long for Kara to come up with a ball of metal, which plinked to the shower floor, and then Kara was pouring the rest of the vodka over the wound, before cleaning it out with brisk carefulness. Swapping the bloody gauze for a hooked needle, Kara began to sew the wound up, while Lena made small whimpering sounds.

 

             As soon as she was done, Kara pulled the sodden towel out of Lena’s mouth, gently tapping her colourless cheeks as Lena’s head lolled to the side. “Lena? Lena?” Lena replied by promptly vomiting all over the shower floor, and Kara let out a sigh of relief. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” she softly said, throwing everything out of the shower and turning the hot water on.

 

             Lena stirred slightly at the feeling of the water, and Kara stripped her down to her underwear, letting the water wash away all of the blood and vodka. Grabbing one of the clean towels, Kara wrapped it around Lena and lifted her off the shower floor, carrying her out into the bathroom. She set her down flat on the floor, and Lena’s eyes fluttered open and closed as she mumbled intelligibly as she tried to focus on Kara’s pale face floating above her. Warm hands patted her dry with a towel and then patched and bandaged her stomach, carefully propping her up as Kara did so.

 

             “Lena? Stay awake, okay? I need you to get changed, okay? I’ll go and find you some clothes.” Kara was gone for a brief moment, and then she was back with a pair of pyjamas. “Lena, can you sit up?”

 

             “Mm,” Lena mumbled in agreement. Kara helped prop her up, and Lena let out a weak groan as she fell back against the cupboards.

 

             “I’ll be back in a second,” Kara murmured.

 

             Lena numbly stripped off her underwear and pulled on the pyjamas that Kara had fetched her, biting back curses and groans of pain. A moment later, Kara was back and pressing painkillers into Lena’s hand, helping her swallow them along with a glass of water. She then helped lift Lena to her feet, bearing all of her weight as Kara carried her into her bedroom. Pulling back the covers, Kara helped Lena into bed and drew the blankets up to her chin, and Lena frowned up at Kara.

 

             “Kara,” Lena whispered, feeling herself relax against the pillows, pain flaring up the left side of her body and feeling woozy from so much blood loss. “Thank you.” The last thing that she remembered, before falling into unconsciousness, was Kara giving her a grim smile, her eyes filled with concern behind her glasses.


	12. Chapter 12

             Lena stirred with a groan, struggling to open her eyes as she tried to make sense of the pain that ripped through the left side of her body and radiated outwards. Her eyelids fluttered open at the sound of someone moving, and Lena scrambled up the bed, biting back a moan of pain as she blinked at the girl who appeared in the doorway.

 

             “What the fuck are you doing in my apartment,” Lena gasped, gritting her teeth together as her hands fluttered around a bandage wrapped around her middle. She frowned in confusion, glancing back up at Kara, who slowly advanced.

 

             “You called me last night,” Kara softly told her.

 

             Lena’s face was screwed up in pain as she shut her eyes and shifted upright, “I called you?” She didn’t remember that – everything was so foggy – she barely even remembered getting back to the apartment. “I was shot.”

 

             “Yes,” Kara murmured, coming to sit on the edge of the bed as she looked at Lena in concern. “Do you want me to get you some painkillers?”

 

             Nodding, Lena watched as Kara left to fetch her some, returning with a glass of water, a bottle of Gatorade from Lena’s fridge, and a few pills nestled in the palm of her hand. She set the glass and bottle down on Lena’s bedside table, before handing her the pills and then the glass, which shook slightly in Lena’s shaking hand. The pills went down quickly, and Lena warily eyed Kara as she finished the rest of her water – her throat felt really dry.

 

             “Here, you need to replenish your electrolytes,” Kara said, twisting the cap off the electric blue drink and handing the bottle to Lena, “you drank half a bottle of whiskey last night – well, you spat most of it out – and you’ll need to keep yourself hydrated. Especially after all the blood you lost.”

 

             “You stayed?” Lena asked.

 

             “I couldn’t just leave you here alone,” Kara shrugged, her forehead wrinkling in concern, “someone had to take you to hospital if something happened.”

 

             Lena slowly sipped her drink, an uncertain look on her face as she looked at Kara, who watched her carefully. “Why didn’t you take me to the hospital anyway?”

 

             Kara blinked in surprise, “you asked me not to. You might want to get someone to have a look at it for you though – I’m not an expert. I tried though, and I got the bullet out, but just … you know, infection and all of that. The vodka should-“

 

             Letting out a loud groan, Lena threw her head back against the pillows, “you washed it out with _vodka?”_

 

             “You didn’t have any betadine in you first aid kit and I know that alcohol kills bacteria, so I figured it was the best option,” Kara rambled, “and I made sure I steralised everything with it so it was all clean. You had a tiny bit of antiseptic cream left, but you might want to get some more because I used the last of it on your stitches.”

 

             “If you ever need to treat a bullet wound again, don’t use google or whichever shitty movie you got your first aid tips from,” Lena groaned.

 

             Kara’s eyes widened and her face turned paler, “did I- a-are you going to be okay?”

 

             “Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Lena choked out a laugh, “thanks to you, but it’s also going to take a hell of a lot longer to fix itself up. You probably burnt the shit out of all of my cells. Thank you though … you saved my life. Why?”

 

             “At least you can put a stop to this nonsense for a while and put your feet up,” Kara said, giving Lena a pointed look. She hadn’t been fooled in the slightest by her little ruse with Roulette, and Lena hadn’t been fooled by Kara’s trick with Supergirl – she had actually admitted to Lena kissing her until Lena reminded her that it was Supergirl. “And what do you mean _why?_ Because you’d been _shot_ , and you were bleeding everywhere, and it was scary. I almost called Alex, but I knew you would probably unleash your full arsenal of kryptonite on me if I did.”

 

             “That’s exactly what I mean why I say why,” Lena muttered, “I’ve beaten the shit out of you multiple times.”

 

             Kara laughed, pushing her glasses up her nose, “no, you haven’t. You got in one or two tiny stabs, and weakened me a bit. They did nothing that a few hours of resting couldn’t fix. I think you definitely got the worst end of the stick in our fights. I’m sorry about your face.”

 

             “Shouldn’t you report me to your sister?” Lena asked.

 

             Hesitating, Kara opened and closed her mouth a few times. “Alex doesn’t understand things sometimes. Not to be condescending, but she doesn’t. If she knew … well, the law leaves no room for criminals, and she’s not prone to giving second chances. I’m more … forgiving.”

 

             “That’ll get you hurt one day.”

 

             “Perhaps, but it’s the right thing to do.”

 

             Letting out a snort of laughter, Lena rolled her eyes, “that’s a very naïve thing to say. There’s never a right or wrong thing to do – there’s always shades of grey. Well, for the most part. Some things are right and wrong, but most of the time it’s subjective. Like vigilantism … I would say if you’re careful, then it’s the right thing to do. We’re on different sides though, and your sister would disagree with me.”

 

             “Have you ever watched The Purge? Letting everyone run free and do what they want causes anarchy. Sure, one person in a mask won’t hurt, but what happens why there’s five of you? Or ten. When people are allowed to do what they want, things usually end up going bad, especially when it comes to breaking the law. It’s all well and good that you want to help people, but … can’t you just build a homeless shelter? Or build a project to offer more jobs?”

 

             “Is that what you want me to do as payment for you saving my life?” Lena stiffly asked.

 

             “Payment?” Kara said, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise, “why would I expect you to pay me back for that?”

              

             Lena rolled her eyes again, “you do me a favour and I do you one. That’s how business works.”

 

             “I don’t want a favour off you, I just didn’t want you to _die_ ,” Kara said, looking almost horrified at the thought of holding Lena’s life over her. “I don’t want you to give up who you are for _me_ , I want you to do it for yourself. Because it’s the right thing to do. We don’t even _know_ each other. Just … save yourself, because next time I might not be so lucky.”

 

             “Yeah, well, I don’t need to be saved.”

 

             “You did last night,” Kara bluntly replied, and Lena scowled at her.

 

             “Why do you even care?” Lena snapped, her temper flaring up as she bristled at Kara’s words. Lena didn’t like having to rely on other people, and she hated that this stranger was the only person she had to turn to when she was hurt. A part of her was scared too, because she had kissed Kara in a moment of panic to try and vent her frustration, and she had _liked_ it. Lena couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was, and it was a nagging thought at the back of her mind whenever she looked at Kara. She was attracted to her, and that scared Lena, because she had never physically wanted someone before.

 

             Kara pressed her lips together in a grim line as she stared down at the floor, before she looked up at Lena and gave her a tight smile, “I don’t know.”

 

             Lena closed her eyes and took a drink of her Gatorade, trying to calm herself down and ignore the pain in her side. “You should go. Your sister will be wondering where you are.”

 

             “Right,” Kara muttered at the dismissal. Lena felt the bed shift, and she opened her eyes to watch Kara walk away from her.

 

             “Kara,” Lena murmured as a spasm of pain ran through her – she wasn’t sure if it was purely physical, or partly guilt – and she watched as Kara paused, not turning around. “Thank you.”

 

             The other girl let out a small sigh, her hand resting on the doorframe as she hesitated, “call me if you need anything.” She was gone without a second glance.

 

             Lena let out a frustrated sigh, kicking the covers off and climbing out of bed, before she walked into the bathroom. She half expected to walk into a crime scene, but everything was perfectly clean, and she felt even more guilty imagining Kara scrubbing it clean for her, and getting rid of the evidence. A part of Lena felt confused about why Kara was being so nice to her all of a sudden, after they had been so intent on bickering about who had the right to protect the city, in between their punches. Lena suspected that maybe Kara felt a little bit guilty about Lena being corned by Alex and the other agents down by the docks, because there was no other reason that Lena could think of that made sense.

 

             One look in the mirror let Lena know how terrible she looked; her skin was sallow and her eyes were sunken and rimmed by dark shadows. Her mind still processing everything, Lena stripped off her clothes and bandages and looked down at the pink wound neatly stitched together, wincing as she climbed into the shower and ran the hot water. Kara was right; she would be off vigilante duty for a week or two.

 

\---

 

             It was already past lunchtime when she’d woken up, so Lena grabbed herself a bunch of snacks from the fridge and cupboards, along with a few more bottles of Gatorade, and returned to her bed. The rest of the day was spent making her way through the bags of nuts and packs of protein bars as she tried to stifle her growling stomach and give herself some energy, and drinking a rainbow of the sports drinks to rehydrate herself. She’d already been drinking earlier on in the night with Roulette, and the whiskey Kara had force fed her had really done a number on her. Her head was banging, and Lena spent the rest of the day laying in bed with a pair of sunglasses on to stop the brightness of the room from sending stabbing pains through her head – even with the curtains closed. Making a mental note to cut down on her drinking, Lena watched the flat screen TV on the wall all afternoon, putting it on mute so that she didn’t have to listen to the loud noise. At one point, when the pain become almost unbearable, Jack showed up, standing in the periphery of Lena’s sight, and she grumbled unintelligible things to him as she waited for him to leave – blaming him for this happening to her, and cursing him for getting her into this business in the first place.

 

             She dozed off for a little while at some point, feeling drowsy from the painkillers that she’d maxed herself out on, and she felt slightly less hungover when she woke up, even if her stomach still felt like it was on fire. Pushing wrappers and empty packets aside, Lena rolled slightly to reach for her tablet, hissing as her wound pulled at the stitches, before she settled back down against her pillows and started tapping away at the screen. Seeing a notification on one of her security apps, Lena’s eyes widened in alarm, and she quickly accessed her security cameras on the tablet, sifting through them for any signs of an intruder, and sighing when she saw the outline of a caped figure sitting on the edge of the roof, swinging her legs over the side of the building with a paper bag next to her.

 

             “Kara, I know you’re there,” Lena said, feeling slightly stupid as she spoke out loud, even though she knew that Kara _was_ there, and would be listening. A moment later there was a knock on the balcony door in Lena’s room, and she let out an exasperated sigh. “There’s no point knocking if you’ve been spying on me all afternoon.”

 

             The door opened, and a moment later Kara came out from behind the curtain with a sheepish look on her face, closing the door behind herself. “It wasn’t _all_ afternoon. “

 

             “What’re you doing here?” Lena asked, giving her a wary look, “you said to call you if I needed anything. I _don’t_ need anything.”

 

             “I know,” Kara quickly assured her, stepping forward with an earnest look on her face, “but I was, uh, I was thinking and, well, I realised that you hadn’t eaten. So, ah, well, I thought I’d pick you up some things … just in case. I didn’t think you'd be up to cooking yourself something.” Her eyes landed on the crumpled wrappers that littered the foot of Lena’s bed, and her eyes darted up to Lena’s as she gave her a warm smile and lifted the paper bag in her hands. Taking a step towards the bed and sitting down on the edge of it, Kara started pulling out small white boxes. “I, uh, well, I wasn’t sure what you liked, but I saw some black bean sauce in your fridge – I wasn’t snooping, just getting your Gatorade earlier – and I assumed that you liked Chinese food. I got a few things just in case though.”

 

             Lena watched with mild concern as the pile of boxes grew to an enormous amount on the bedside table, as Kara pulled them out one by one and set them down. She rattled off a list of names, and Lena raised her eyebrows slightly higher with each one. “Are you staying for dinner?” she snorted with laughter.

 

             Kara’s eyes widened and she opened and closed her mouth a few times, her cheeks turning slightly pink, “no, I mean, I was- I was just going to let you pick and then, um, take what you didn’t like, but I’ll be out of your hair in a second. I just- I didn’t want you to … starve.”

 

             A surprised laugh fell past Lena’s lips, and Kara blinked at the unexpected outburst. “You’re very strange,” Lena mused, “has anyone ever told you that?”

 

             “I’m an alien,” Kara blurted out, and Lena arched an eyebrow at her.

 

             “I know,” she said, looking amused, “that’s not what I meant though. You just … I _stabbed_ you, and you took a bullet out of my stomach, and now you’re bring me _Chinese food_. You should be dropping me off at the police station, not checking up on some random stranger you get into knife fights in alleyways with.”

 

             Kara let out an embarrassed laugh, scratching the back of her neck as she shrugged, “I think I missed out on some social rules when I … moved here. At least I don’t talk to myself though.” She said it in a teasing voice, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she smiled at Lena. “I heard you earlier. Well, I assumed you were talking to yourself – it must’ve been the drugs – because no one was here and, well, I couldn’t hear anyone on the phone. You should listen to yourself.”

 

             Lena stiffened, her whole body going rigid, and she looked down at her hands as she balled them into fists. Kara had heard her talking to the memory of her dead friend, and Lena felt two spots of colour appear high on her cheekbones. “There’s money in my purse – in the kitchen – take some for the food.”

 

             “Sorry, I didn’t- I was just joking,” Kara said, a pained look on her face as she realised she’d put her foot in it. She didn’t understand _why_ she had, but Lena’s reaction was enough to tell her that Lena didn’t appreciate her poking fun at her talking to herself. If she had only been talking to herself, Lena wouldn’t have been mad, but she didn’t know that Lena saw her dead friend sometimes. Saw him when it all got too much and her mind couldn’t handle the crushing guilt and grief, conjuring him up as a reminder of the bad things that could happen to her. Lena couldn’t tell her – she _wouldn’t_ – they barely knew each other.

 

             When Kara kept apologising and showed no signs of moving, Lena struggled out of bed with a grunt of pain, staggering slightly and feeling warm hands steady her as Kara appeared in front of her in a flash. Lena jumped as she looked up at her, staring into those impossibly blue eyes and feeling each of Kara’s fingers pressed into her biceps, and the cape brush her legs as it swished from the quick movement.

 

             “You should stay in bed,” Kara softly told her, and Lena tore herself out of her grip. She stumbled through the apartment, ignoring Kara’s protests as she followed close behind, ready to catch Lena as she walked to the kitchen. Reaching for her bag, Lena pulled out her purse and pulled out a wad of cash.

 

             “How much was the food?” she asked.

 

             “Lena-“

 

             “How much?”

 

             Kara sighed, closing her eyes, “I’m sorry if my eavesdropping made you uncomfortable. I was only trying to listen to your heartbeat – I promise.”

 

             When Kara made no attempt to tell her how much the takeaway had cost, Lena balled the notes up, grabbed one of Kara’s hands and slapped the money into it, before jamming her purse back into her bag. She was feeling a little bit faint, and the sunglasses weren’t helping the headache anymore – it was pitch black outside anyway, and there were no lights on in her apartment, which meant that it was all from her head. She took a step forward and sagged slightly, letting out a frustrated sound as strong arms caught her and swept her off her feet.

 

             “Is- is it okay if I carry you?” Kara asked, a look of concern in her eyes as she stared down at Lena.

 

             Crossing her arms over her chest, looking like a petulant child, Lena gave her a curt nod and let Kara easily carry her back to bed. She was gently laid down on her mattress, and Kara fussed with the blankets, despite Lena’s insistence that she could do it herself, even if her gunshot wound was hurting. In a flash, Kara had all of the wrappers and packets in a bundle, and was carrying them to the bin in the kitchen, while Lena clenched her jaw – she wasn’t used to people looking after her.

 

             Walking back into the bedroom, Kara walked over to the cartons of white food, choosing two at random and startling Lena as she let out two short blasts of laser beams and stuck a pair of chopsticks into the steaming food. “Here, before it gets cold,” Kara murmured, handing her one of them, “make sure you keep your energy up, and rest. I’ll leave enough for you tomorrow too.”

 

             “Kara-“

 

             “Like I said, call me if you need anything,” Kara said, giving her a small smile.

 

             She had all the cartons neatly packed into the paper bag, except for two of them, which she balanced in her arms. “Kara, wait,” Lena said as the blonde made towards the bedroom door, pausing to look at her. Lena hesitated for a moment, “I know I’m not nice, and I know we’re not friends, and we never will be, but I am grateful to you. I just think it’s best if we don’t complicate things. You have your job and your sister, and I don’t want to compromise that with what I do in my spare time.”

 

             “Got it,” Kara stiffly replied, before walking out and gently shutting the bedroom door behind her. Lena let out a frustrated sigh as she listened to boots stomp down the hallway, the sound of the fridge closing, and then a moment later, the front door closing. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, and then opened them, picking up a piece of chicken and miserably shoving it into her mouth.


	13. Chapter 13

            It was six thirty in the morning, and Lena rolled over with a groan, fumbling for her phone and cancelling the call. It was Lillian, and she’d been ringing since six. Slamming it back down on the bedside table, Lena rolled onto her back and looked up at the dark ceiling. A dull pain throbbed in her side as she lay there, debating whether or not to get up and fetch herself some pills. As she pushed herself up, her phone buzzed again – just once – and Lena picked it up with a sigh.

 

_Call me or I’ll come to your apartment._

 

            Muttering a curse, Lena dialled her mom’s number and pressed the phone to her ear as she listened to it ring twice, before Lillian picked up. She had a headache and she really wasn’t in the mood to talk to her mom.

 

_“You haven’t been to work in five days.”_

            Lena sighed, “I’ve been sick.”

 

 _“Oh … you don’t sound well. You actually_ are _sick,”_ Lillian replied, somewhat begrudgingly.

 

            “Obviously,” Lena coldly replied, “what do you want?”

 

_“To make sure you were … okay.”_

            Choking on a laugh, Lena winced as she pressed a hand against the bandage on her stomach. If her mom could see her now, she would have a breakdown, and every threat she’d ever made against Lena, if she stepped out of line, would be carried out. “I’m fine.”

 

_“Are you going to therapy this afternoon?”_

 

            “Well it’s not like I have a choice, so, yes,” Lena grumbled.

 

            There was a slight pause before Lillian replied. _“Dinner at the house tonight. It’s important.”_

            “I don’t want-“

 

_“I know, but it’s important, so I expect you to be there. Say six o’clock?”_

            Lena ground her teeth together in anger, knowing that there was no way she would be able to get out of this dinner, and already dreading the thought of seeing her mother. “Fine.”

 

            Hanging up without another word, Lena slammed her phone down on the bedside table and ran a hand through her hair, absentmindedly contemplating chopping it all off again. No doubt Lillian would have something to say about it if Lena showed up with the same choppy hairstyle she’d had last year when Jack had died. Thinking it best not to cause more problems on a night that was already going to be almost unbearable, Lena climbed out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. Peeling her clothes and bandages off, Lena looked down at small the wound on her side, frowning at the redness of it and gingerly touching it. It was hot to touch, and slightly puffy and Lena felt overly warm too, settling for a cold shower to try and cool herself down. She wasn’t stupid – she knew that it wasn’t healing properly, and if she wasn’t careful, a full blown infection would set in.

 

            Showered and dressed, with a carefully cleaned and bandaged cut, Lena walked into the kitchen in search of food, grumbling when she realised how bare her fridge was getting. She didn’t even have anyone she could call. She was avoiding Roulette, because she would ask too many questions about why Lena had been skipping classes; the idea of asking her _mom_ to bring her groceries was abhorrent; and Kara … she could’ve called Kara if she wanted to, and knew that she would come running because that was the kind of person she seemed to be. Lena had meant it when she said they weren’t friends though, and she didn’t want to complicate things further. She had found herself thinking about her a lot over the past few days, and Lena was still confused about … everything. She didn’t know Kara, and she didn’t _want_ to get to know her, but she couldn’t deny that she found her beautiful. In her panic, Lena had acted on impulse and kissed her, and Kara had kissed her _back_. That made it even more confusing.

 

            Grabbing a slightly brown speckled banana and a bag of granola, Lena walked into her office and sat down behind her desk. She ate the banana quickly and then spent an hour connecting the new monitors and screens that she’d bought to replace the fried ones, eating the granola straight from the packet as she set it all up. As she waited for the computers to install all the software, she busied herself with making a cup of green tea – she was still avoiding strong caffeine for the time being – and chased a few pills down with it. She was draining her cup when there was a knock on the door, and Lena dumped it in the sink as she walked down the hall to answer it, wondering if it was going to be Kara or Roulette, and yanked the door open expectantly. It was Roulette.

 

            “Hey, kid,” she said, her eyes widening slightly as she looked at Lena’s tired and drawn face. “Mind if I come in?”

 

            Opening the door wider, Lena let her inside, and firmly shut the door behind her. “What can I do for you?”

 

            “Okay miss businesswoman,” Roulette snorted, giving Lena a smile over her shoulder as she walked down the hallway as if she owned the place. “I just came to check on you – you’ve been avoiding me.”

 

            “I haven’t,” Lena quickly said, hurrying after her and biting her lip to stop herself from letting out a moan of pain as her side twinged from the movement. “I’ve just … I’ve been busy. I haven’t had time for classes.”

 

            As they came out into the kitchen, Roulette rounded on Lena and raised her eyebrows, giving her a pointed look. “You’re always busy, and you never skip lessons unless you have a reason. You look like shit, and I haven’t seen my masked friend running about lately. What’s up?”

 

            “It’s nothing, Ronnie,” Lena muttered, absentmindedly tapping on the kitchen counter as she stared at Roulette. “Honestly. I’ve just been a bit under the weather.”

 

            “Yeah, I can see that. You look like death warmed up,” Roulette said, frowning slightly. “Do you need anything?”

 

            “I’m fine.” They both stood there for a few moments, and when Roulette made no move to leave, Lena sighed. “Want some tea?”

 

            Smiling, Roulette shrugged out of her jacket, slinging it over the back of one of the dining chairs, and made herself comfortable at the table. “So, how’s the business?”

 

            “It’s fine,” Lena said as she rummaged through one of the cupboards for some clean cups. “Anything new happen at class?”

 

            While the water boiled, Roulette filled Lena in on what she’d missed over the pat few days, chatting about a student who had advanced a rank and a couple more that had signed up for classes. She also talked about the fight clubs, which Lena listened to with interest – she was half tempted to go to one of them, just for a bit of good competition – as she carried two cups over to the table, wincing slightly as she leant down a bit to put Roulette’s cup down. The spasm of pain that ran across her face didn’t go unnoticed, and Roulette cut off mid-sentence and laid a gentle hand on Lena’s arm.

 

            “You’re hurt.”

 

            “No I’m not,” Lena quickly answered, setting her own cup down and pulling out a chair. Before she could sit down, Roulette poked her in the side, and she let out a surprised groan of pain as pain rippled up her left side.

 

            “Fuck,” Lena hissed, her left hand flying down to the bandages as she gritted her teeth in pain, “what the fuck, Ronnie.”

 

            She jerked back as Roulette reached out, grabbing the hem of Lena’s shirt and trying to lift it as Lena stubbornly fought her. “Let me see, kid.”

 

            “It’s nothing!” Lena protested, but she wasn’t quick enough to hide the white bandages from sight.

 

            “Oh hell no,” Roulette said, a look of anger crossing her face, “you’re seriously hurt. What the fuck happened? This is to do with your stupid fucking crime fighting, isn’t it?”

 

            Lena yanked her shirt out of Roulette’s hand, clenching her jaw as she sank down onto the chair and wrapped her hands around her cup. She hunched her shoulders over as she let the warmth of the tea leach into her hands, trying to ignore the hard look Roulette was giving her. Finally, Lena looked up, sighing heavily as she looked at her teacher. “I was leaving yours the other night, and I was mugged in an alleyway. I wasn’t carrying anything, so they stabbed me, but it’s all fine,” Lena lied, the words feeling thick on her tongue. She trusted Roulette more than anyone else – which didn’t mean much – but she couldn’t tell her the truth. “I went to the hospital and they patched me up, gave me some antibiotics and sent me home. I’ve just been taking it easy for the past few days. I don’t want to reopen my stitches.”

 

            “God, Lena, you need to be more careful! You’re good though? Nothing serious?” Roulette asked, her eyes filled with concern.

 

            “Yeah, totally,” Lena assured her, “I just didn’t want to have people talking about it, you know? If it got out to the press that I’d been stabbed, then my mom would know, and she’d freak out think that I was incompetent at my job because I'm being irresponsible, even though they’re unrelated. I’ll be back to classes soon, don’t worry.”

 

            "Need me to run around the city for you?"

 

            Lena let out a small sigh of relief, "that would be amazing. Thank you."

 

            Watching her closely, Roulette took a sip of her tea, and Lena gave her a tiny smile as she mirrored the action. A part of her made a mental note not to slip up around her mom, because she would pounce the second that Lena showed even a flicker of discomfort. She was going to be in for a long night.

 

\---

 

            In the back of the cab, Lena popped a few pills and swallowed them dry as the city flew by in a blur of lights and sound. Therapy had passed by quickly, and she had tried to mask her pain as best as possible while Gayle inquired about how Lena was doing, saving her pills for when she was leaving for dinner so that she would be able to get through it with minimal discomfort – physically at any rate.

 

            Before long, the cab was pulling up to the gates, and a few moments later they slid open to let them through. Coming to a stop outside the mansion, Lena fished out a couple of notes for the driver and muttered a quick thank you for slipping out of the car. Taking a deep breath, she climbed the couple of steps to the front door and knocked, revelling in the cool air as it caressed her hot skin. It was a few minutes before Lillian opened the door, her face stony as she looked down at her daughter, who was looking slightly flushed as she stood outside in the cold.

 

            “You’re early.”

 

            “I came straight from therapy,” Lena said, brushing past her as she walked inside, “may as well get this over and done with as soon as possible.”

 

            Lillian made a disapproving sound as she shut the door, before turning to look at Lena, who was already walking through the foyer. “Shoes off,” Lillian called after her, and Lena sighed, rolling her eyes as she backtracked and kicked off a pair of heeled boots, leaving them beside the door. “Jacket too.” Giving her mom a hard look, Lena stripped off her leather jacket and hung it up on the hook, giving Lillian an expectant look as she waited for more instructions.

 

            With a quick glance at her daughter’s wardrobe, and a flicker of contempt crossing her face, Lillian turned away from her and started to walk towards the kitchen. Lena slowly trailed after her, one hand on her left side in what she hoped looked like a casual gesture, rather than one that was keeping her together.

 

            “Drink?”

 

            “No thank you,” Lena muttered.

 

            Lillian arched an eyebrow at her daughter, “you’re not driving – I saw the cab.”

 

            “Painkillers,” Lena shrugged.

 

            Lillian frowned slightly as she looked at Lena, taking in the slightly rosy cheeks and the almost glassy look in her eyes. Lena was usually extremely pale at all times, which sparked endless arguments between the two of them whenever they saw each other, with Lillian ordering her to spend some time outside, and Lena snapping at her in return. Not tonight though – Lena had a bit of colour in her cheeks for once.

 

            “Are you feeling alright? You look a bit feverish.”

 

            “I’m fine,” Lena muttered, running a hand through her hair. She wished Lillian would stop talking, because she had a headache, and she didn’t want to listen to whatever Lillian was going to put her through. She hesitated for a second, “I might take a little bit of whiskey.”

 

            “You just said you’re on painkillers,” Lillian said, giving Lena a hard look, and Lena sighed, sitting down on one of the stools lining the counters.

 

            Lena drummed her fingers on the counter as she watched Lillian pull two meals, prepared by her chef, out of the fridge and put them in the over. She waited until her mom had poured herself a glass of wine before clearly her throat slightly. “So, why am I here?”

 

            “Can we just have dinner first?”

 

            “Tell me.”

 

            With a sigh, Lillian carefully set her glass down and paused her a moment, before she met Lena’s gaze. “Lex would like to see you.”

 

            “Oh _come on_ ,” Lena snarled, “you’re going to try this shit again? I don’t _want_ to see him. It’s been _years_ , mom, give it a rest.”

 

            “He’s your brother, Lena.”

 

            “No, he’s not. He hasn’t been my brother for a long time,” Lena snapped, her eyes blazing with anger as she balled her hands into fists. Of _course_ the important thing Lillian wanted to discuss with her would be about Lex. He had always been the most important thing in Lillian's life, even now when he was in prison. “I haven’t seen him in six years; I have nothing to say to him.”

 

            Lillian sighed, “well he clearly has something to say to you.”

 

            “Go on then, tell me.”

 

            Hesitating, the corners of Lillian’s mouth turned down in a dissatisfied look, “I don’t know, he wouldn’t tell me. He said it was something that he had to tell you in person, and told me to tell you it was about your new project with some bioengineering company.”

 

            Lena fought to keep the panic off her face, biting her tongue before a sound of surprise could fall past her lips. Lex knew about the D.E.O. and possibly that Lena was the Shadow. She cursed him for asking Lillian to pass on the message, because there was no way that she couldn’t _not_ go and see him now, purely just to find out what he knew. With a wary look on her face, Lena stared intently at Lillian, trying to figure out if her mom knew more than she was letting on; if she did, Lena couldn’t tell.

 

            “If it’s about business …” Lena slowly said, trailing off at the end as she weighed her words carefully, “maybe I will.”

 

            “Really?” Lillian said in disbelief, her eyebrows rising in surprise.

 

            Lena gave her a begrudging look as she gave her a stiff nod. She had to find out what her brother knew, because if there was one thing her family was good at, it was blackmail and bribery, and she needed to know what she was up against. There was no way she would let him get to her – there was no bargain he could try and make that she would agree with – and she didn’t care about him at all, so he wouldn’t be able to manipulate her feelings to get her to help him. He could rot in prison for all she cared.


	14. Chapter 14

            Lena knew that she had to visit her brother. She didn’t want to, but she had to, and she spent all of the next day pacing back and forth in her apartment as she debated whether or not she should go to the appointment she’d made last night. An hour before her appointment, she grabbed a coat and slipped her shoes on, deciding to bite the bullet and get it over and done with before the thought of what he might know drove her mad. She had lain awake all night thinking over her mother’s words while she tossed and turned, feeling as if her skin was on fire. No amount of painkillers lessened the pain or reduced the fever, and Lena ended up sitting in a bath half filled with cool water, her head lolling back against the rim of the tub as she tried to get some rest.

 

            Now, on her way down to the ground floor, Lena was wincing from the harsh lights in the elevator, looking disgruntled and slightly flushed. She was in no mood to see Lex, and knew that she would be hard pressed to keep her temper under control, but she would have to make sure she kept her cool anyway. The cool night air caressed Lena’s face as she stepped outside, flagging down the first cab she saw, since she was wary about driving on medication. She was soon heading towards the prison, finding herself growing nervous as they drew closer. The last time she’d seen Lex, she had still been at boarding school, and a few years later, she saw him on the TV, being sentenced to prison. She had never wanted to see him again.

 

            She was at the prison all too soon, and she warily walked towards the squat building, taking in the chain link fence and towering walls, the large flood lights illuminating the grass and concrete within. Signing in at the front desk, she was let through to be given a rough pat down, biting back a scream of pain when the prison guard touched the angry wound on her side, sending a spasm of pain through her whole body. Once she had cleared security, Lena was led towards a small room, pausing outside to take a deep breath and steel herself. Her brother was inside.

 

            A slow smile spread across his face when she walked in, and Lena paused on the threshold, before walking over to the metal chair across from him. Sitting down, she crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a hard stare.

 

            “Well, well, little Lena. You’ve grown up since the last time I saw you.”

 

            She kept her face blank as she scrutinised Lex’s face, taking in the shaved head, arrogant smile and sharp eyes. “You’ve changed too. I have to say, orange suits you.”

 

            Lex let out a surprised laugh, shifting in his seat as his wrists pulled at the handcuffs chaining him to the metal table. “I have to say, it isn’t your colour, but you might find yourself joining me if you’re not careful.”

 

            “I’m not in the mood for one of your games,” Lena bluntly replied, “whatever it is you have to say, say it.”

 

            Making a tutting sound and giving her an exasperated look, Lex smiled, “I’ve heard you’ve made a new friend. Yes, I have people in _all_ the right places, and know the D.E.O. took you into custody for questioning about vigilantism. I’m not sure how you got off, but we both know it’s you.”

 

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lena stiffly replied, her whole body tensed as she sat rigidly in her chair.

 

            “Of course not,” Lex quickly agreed, a spark of amusement in his eyes, “but let’s say that you did, now, I think you might be interested in what I have to say. You see … your caped friend. You haven’t been able to take her out yet, and well, I did such a good job on her cousin.”

 

            “Cousin?” Lena blurted out before she could stop herself. She bit her lip and frowned as she fell silent, but Lex’s smile grew; he had her interest now.

 

            “You might be smarter than me, but you’re not as smart as you would like to think, dear sister,” Lex said, raising his eyebrows slightly, “you’ve been careless. They’re so close to catching you, and I have something that might help.”

 

            Lena gave him a stony look, stubbornly refusing to give him the satisfaction of her breaking the silence first. Instead, she focused on breathing – she was feeling a bit lightheaded, and the room felt like it was a thousand degrees. Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, she ignored the shape in the corner of her eye and focused on the monster in front of her. There was only room to tackle one horror from her past right now.

 

            Eventually, Lex sighed, giving in when he realised that Lena wasn’t going to crack. “One of my warehouses on the outskirts of the city – the one near the old power plant - had a smaller building inside. Only someone with Luthor genes can open it. Only you. Inside, you’ll find everything you need to finish what I started. You can finish the job, starting with the pesky cousin, and then the man of steel himself.”

 

            “Finish it?” Lena echoed, delicately arching an eyebrow, “there’s nothing to finish. I never started anything.”

 

            “Well, maybe you should reconsider,” Lex said, tilting his head to the side. “Like I said, orange really isn’t your colour.”

 

            Lena stiffened at the threat. He was telling her to kill the Kryptonian’s or he was going to rat her out to the police, and Lena couldn’t help but let out a cold laugh as she climbed to her feet. “Perhaps I’ll pay the facility a visit. It might prove useful.”

 

            “That’s my girl,” Lex said with a sharp smile.

 

            Whipping her head up to meet him, Lena’s eyes burned with anger. “I’m not your anything.” She stalked out of the room without a backwards glance.

 

            Collecting her things from security, she walked out into the cool night and paused, sucking in a lungful of cold air as she ran a hand across her hot brow, swaying slightly as she tried to even out her breathing. She should go home – that would be the smart thing to do – but she knew she couldn’t rest until she found out what was inside the warehouse. There were a number of warehouses that belonged to Lex, and she had never bothered to see what he had left in them, even though she knew where they all were. She didn't want anything to do with his plans. Whatever Lex had, she had to know. Flagging down a cab and sliding into the back seat, Lena hesitated when the driver asked for the address, before giving him the location of the abandoned power plant. She was silent the entire ride there, only speaking when the power plant came into view and she told the driver to pull over. She’d walk from here. It took her twenty minutes of stumbling around in the dark, with only the narrow beam of her phone’s flashlight to light her way, before she managed to find the right warehouse and the handprint scanner next to the door. Tentatively, Lena placed a shaking hand to it and hear an audible click as the door unlocked, and she quickly pulled it open and disappeared into the dark. Fumbling next to the door, she found a switch and flipped it, flooding the warehouse with harsh light that left her eyes streaming as she winced at the sudden brightness.

 

            As promised, there was a large glass and steel structure in the middle of the warehouse, filled with metal crates and boxes of varying sizes, and Lena walked towards it with a wary look on her face. Her eyes darted side to side as she looked for any traps or cameras – she didn’t trust her brother as far as she could throw him – and she quickly crossed over to the glass door. There was a tiny needle point on the scanner next to the door, and Lena felt a small prick of pain in the palm of her hand as it drew her blood and quickly scanned it for the right DNA. The door opened with a hiss, and she stepped inside, drawing in a breath of the stale air. Opening the nearest box, Lena felt all of the air rush out of her lungs as she took in the large chunks of green kryptonite. The next held the same, and the one after that held a red one, and Lena frowned in confusion – she didn’t know what that one did. The other crates held a rainbow of kryptonite, and Lena grew uneasy with the sheer amount of it surrounding her, and how oblivious Kara was to the cache of weapons that could bring her down with ease. The chests held weapons made of the kryptonite – mostly green – and Lena blanched when she saw the similarities between some of her designs and Lex’s. She _wasn’t_ her brother, but to see how similar her own creations were made her feel sick. She hadn’t wanted to _kill_ Kara, she’d just wanted her out of the way, but here … there was no mistaking that Lex had stored all of this with plans to end the Kryptonian’s.

 

            Backing out of the room, Lena pulled the door shut and ran a hand over her face. Briskly walking back through the warehouse and into the night, Lena called for a cab, and soon enough she was back in the back of one and heading towards the city. She didn’t go back to her apartment though, and found herself at Roulette’s bar, hoping to find her teacher, who looked like she’d already turned in for the night. After a few drinks, Lena left again and feeling confused, scared and slightly tipsy, as she made her way through the city. Coming upon a familiar building, Lena went inside and walked upstairs, counting doors as she looked for the number she’d memorised. It was past midnight now, but that didn’t stop her from banging on the door and anxiously waiting for it to be pulled open. It only took a moment, and then she was staring into blue eyes, half-closed as Kara blearily looked at her from behind the glasses she was jamming onto her face.

 

            “Lena?”

 

            “His name was Jack,” Lena croaked, her mouth dry and her tongue feeling thick as she spoke, “he died.”

 

            Kara blinked in surprise, and all traces of sleep vanished, except for the duck covered pyjamas that she was wearing. She opened the door up slightly wider and let Lena in, her eyes filled with concern as she watched her stumble in. “Are you okay?”

 

            Lena’s pulse was racing, and she was trembling, even though her forehead felt like it was on fire. Pacing back and forth, breathing shallowly as she ran a shaking hand through her hair, she shook her head, trying to find the words to talk. “H-he died in my arms. He started … _this_ , he was the Shadow, and then he just … h-he died. He asked me to carry on doing it for him, and I-I did, but now … I can’t stop. If you’re still breathing you’re one of the lucky ones, you know? So I thought I owed it to him. I thought I was doing it for him – I _was_ – but now, I’m doing it for _me_. It-it makes me feel _good_ , it makes me feel like I’m doing something to help, and … I don’t want to give that up. I _can’t_. I can’t go back to how I was when he- I’m still trying to move past that. Oh God, I’m _trying_. And I-“

 

            She cut off, squeezing her eyes shut and clenching her teeth as a feeling of nausea washed over her. Shaking her head slightly she took a few quick breaths, trying to keep it together. Kara took a tentative step towards her, giving Lena a wary look as she approached with one hand extended. “Lena, are you okay?”

 

            At the touch of Kara’s hand resting on her arm, Lena jerked away from her, a panicked look in her eyes as she skittered away. “I’m fine.”

 

            “You’re not well,” Kara softly murmured, “let me help you.”

 

            “I don’t need your help,” Lena snapped, one hand pressed to her side. She felt like she was going to be sick, and everything was hot and she could hear her own heart pounding in her ears. They started ringing, and Lena blinked, feeling everything slow down around her. Kara’s voice sounded like it was coming from underwater, and Lena frowned at her, swaying slightly. She was pouring with sweat, and her face was white as bone, except for her cheeks which were flushed bright red. Her face was drawn with pain – not even the painkillers could hide that – and she squeezed her eyes shut as she bared her teeth.

 

            And then she fainted, and the floor never got the chance to rush up and meet her, because warm hands caught her immediately, and she was being gently cradled in Kara's arms.

 

\---

 

            Lena groaned as her eyes fluttered open, and then shut again as a harsh whiteness invaded her sight. She squeezed them shut and listened to the buzzing and clicking of the fluorescent lights and the whirring and beeping of machines and monitors. She was in hospital. She knew it just from the smell of the place, and the feeling of the hospital gown she was wearing. Opening her eyes slower this time, Lena looked around, frowning slightly at the fogginess in her mind, until her eyes fell on someone wearing a red cape. Supergirl.

 

            “You brought me to a fucking hospital?” Lena groaned, her head lolling to the side as she peered at Kara.

 

            She gave Lena a sheepish smile as she climbed to her feet, her red boots squeaking slightly on the floor as she approached the bed. “I’m sorry, but you passed out, and I didn't know what else to do. Your wound was _infected_. How long has it been like that?”

 

            Lena shrugged, the movement taking a lot of effort as whatever drugs they’d given her loosened her joints and made her body feel like lead. “A few days.”

 

            Kara made a disapproving sound at the back of her throat, crossing her arms over her chest. “You should’ve called me. My sister studied medicine, we could’ve helped.”

 

            “Yeah, because you and I are so close,” Lena snorted. “Your sister would ask too many questions, and I would be cuffed to the bed right now if I’d let her help. Besides, I was handling it.”

 

            Pressing her lips together in a thin line, Kara gave her a disapproving look. “And you were doing _such_ a good job at that. I told the doctors you went to a different hospital a week ago. They seemed a little suspicious, but I made an appearance as Kara and told them we were family. It seemed to do the trick. Oh, and one more thing-“

 

            Kara didn’t have the chance to finish her sentence, before the curtain was pulled back and Lillian was standing there, looking furious. Lena’s eyes darted back to Kara, and she gave her a venomous glare. “You called my mom?”

 

            “No,” Lillian coolly replied, “I’m still your emergency contact. Would you mind telling me _why_ I got a call at one o’clock in the morning to tell me my daughter was in hospital with a _hole_ in her stomach?”

 

            “It’s not a hole,” Lena muttered, “it was already stitched up. It just got infected is all.”

 

            “Lena,” Lillian snarled at her, the warning in her voice very clear.

 

            “It was an accident, in one of my staff classes,” Lena lied, her tongue feeling thick in her mouth as she spoke. “We used metal batons and I fell on mine when I was knocked down. I impaled myself on it, and I went to hospital – it wasn’t serious.”

 

            She could see the muscles in her mom’s jaw tighten, and her eyes flash a warning. “You told me you were coming down with something,” Lillian said in an accusing tone, narrowing her eyes at her daughter. “You lied.”

 

            “Yeah,” Lena agreed with a small careless shrug.

 

            Lillian paused, silently fuming as she stared at her daughter, “one more toe out of line and that’s it. I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I’m not buying it for even a second, and I’ve already warned you once. This is your last warning. Do I make myself clear?”

 

            “Crystal,” Lena snorted, closing her eyes and listening to the monitors as she waited for her mom to leave. With a frustrated sigh, Lillian tore back the curtain and stormed off, her heels clicking on the floor as she left her daughter without another word. Lena opened her eyes a few moments later, finding Kara looking at her with a peculiar expression on her face. “What?”

 

            “Nothing,” Kara muttered, frowning slightly, “I just- do you want me … is there anyone else I can call?”

 

            “Nope.”

 

            “Oh.”

 

            “Goodnight, Supergirl.”

 

            Kara sighed, grimacing at Lena who stared straight up at the ceiling, feeling the dull throb in her side as she silently brooded. She didn't want to leave her alone, but she knew that Lena didn't want her there. “Goodnight, Lena.”

 

            Before the footsteps passed beyond the curtain, Lena cleared her throat slightly and Kara hesitated to listen to what she had to say. Pushing herself up slightly, Lena stared straight at Kara, her eyes boring into Kara’s blue ones filled with concern, and she felt a rush of heat at the intensity of Kara’s stare. “Thank you. This is twice now.”


	15. Chapter 15

            Lena was let out of hospital later on that day, after the doctor had told her that they’d cleaned out the wound – which hadn’t been healing – stitched her up again, and given her antibiotics and strong painkillers. Her fever broke quickly, and she was numb to the pain in her side, and so they let her out. She’d spent the next three weeks keeping a low profile, only leaving her apartment to go to the office, where her mom could spy on her and see that she was committed to her job. At home, she worked on rebuilding her weapons and costume, and restoring all of her files and data. It was slow going, but she got a lot of work done in the first week, and spent the other two weeks strengthening her muscles back up. She hadn’t been active for weeks, and she needed to make sure that she was in perfect form when she got back on the streets – and this time, she wouldn’t make any mistakes.

 

            Right now, her biggest threat was her mother and brother. If Lillian decided to take the company off Lena, then she would lose her access to all of the resources it provided her with, and if Lex spilled her secret … well, she would be in deep shit. She didn’t think Sam would even be able to get her out of that mess. Lena was still confused about what to do about the cache of kryptonite and weapons, because she didn’t want to use any of them, but there was also the chance that one day she would need them. She didn’t think that Kara would ever fatally hurt her, but Lena couldn’t help but wonder how many _other_ Kryptonian’s could be hiding out there, and perhaps they wouldn’t be too friendly. Keeping the weapons didn’t mean that she was going to turn into her brother, but it also did cause her a lot of conflict, and Lena was still trying to figure things out.

 

            The other problem was Kara. Lena hadn’t seen her since the hospital, and the last three weeks had been spent thinking about her in every spare moment that she had. One thing that was for sure was that neither of them could stay away from the other, even if Lena didn’t want to see her – which she was still unsure about – they some how always ended up meeting again. She was dreading their next meeting though, because Kara had saved her life again, and at the same time, thrown her under the bus with Lillian. Lena couldn’t even be mad though, because she couldn’t have known that Lillian was Lena’s emergency contact number – Lena herself had forgotten that her mom was still down as her contact number. She hadn’t been to a normal hospital in _years_ , so of course her details would still be the same. Lena was just grateful that Kara had had the good sense not to take her to Alex, because no matter how much Kara insisted that Alex would’ve helped her, a general hospital had been the best option in an emergency, and didn’t leave Lena in any trouble with the law. Basically every part of Lena’s life was a mess, except for work and Roulette, who stopped by every couple of days to check up on her. Lena suspected that Roulette was worried about her spending so much time shut in by herself, but she didn’t try and coerce Lena into coming back to classes yet, because the hole in her side was still healing.

 

            She eventually had the stitches out though, and Lena felt marginally better without the itchy feeling in her side as she left the hospital. The first thing she did when she walked outside was call her mom, who picked up on the third ring.

 

_“Hello?”_

            “My stitches are out,” Lena coolly told her, “and I’ve dropped my staff classes. You can have your spies lay off now.”

 

            There was a slight pause. _“One more mistake, and that’s it.”_

 

            “Got it.”

 

_“Don’t let it happen again.”_

 

            Lena hung up, shoving her phone deep into her pocket, before she hesitated. Pulling it out again, she found her finger hesitating over the number she’d gotten from a business card left in her apartment. She didn’t call her though, and shoved the phone back in her pocket and going over to her car. Driving back to her apartment, she quickly changed into her new suit – a black bodysuit, complete with a hood, with a thin bulletproof vest over the top – and slid on a pair of knee high boots she’d modified, before adding on the gloves, gauntlets and mask. She was back. With her full arsenal of weapons, Lena slipped out into the dark night, ready for hours of fighting crime, and as she slid into her car, heading for her safe house, she had to admit, the new suit felt good.

 

            She didn’t have one of her other warehouses set up yet, so she parked at her safe house and headed straight out from there, blending in with the night, truly like a shadow. It was slow going at first, stopping a mugger who ran off with a woman’s bag, and a bike thief that she threw one of her batons at, knocking him out cold. So far, her police scanners hadn’t picked up any big crimes going on, and so, Lena parked herself on a fire escape in one of the dodgier areas of the city, knowing that the chances of a big crime going down there were relatively high, if there _was_ going to be a big crime. It wasn’t a crime that found her though, it was a red caped figure, gently touching down beside her on the fire escape. Lena almost didn’t realise she was there, but it was the soft clang of metal as her boots touched down, and the swish of her cape as it settled around her, that gave Kara away, and scared the shit out of Lena, who was on her feet in half a second.

 

            “Don’t do that,” she snapped, glaring at Kara from behind the mask.

 

            “Nice suit,” Kara said, tilting her head to the side as she looked Lena up and down, and Lena was glad for the mask, because she felt herself flush at the look Kara gave her. She mentally kicked herself a moment later though, realising that Kara would’ve heard the way her heart rate momentarily sped up. “Are you sure you’re ready to be back though? I saw you wince when that robbed kicked you in the side.”

 

            Lena spluttered as she looked at Kara, “you’re _spying_ on me?! And of course I’m going to fucking wince when someone kicks me!”

 

            “I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Kara shrugged, giving Lena a sheepish smile, “and I wasn’t _spying_ , you just happened to beat me to the petty crimes because I was busy fighting some bigger criminals.”

 

            “Bullshit,” Lena swore, “not a _single_ call has gone through the police for anything bigger than a robbery.”

 

            Kara gave her a bright smile, “working for an agency has its perks! We get a lot of calls first, and some like house fires and explosions, which you should definitely stay away from.”

 

            “I don’t need you to tell me what to do,” Lena replied, bristling at the insinuation that Kara could order her around.

 

            “I’m not,” Kara quickly said, trying to pacify Lena, “I’m just saying that my freeze breath is very quick at putting out fires so …”

 

            “Whatever,” Lena said, turning around and walking over to the stairs leading up to the roof.

 

            Trailing after her, Kara kept on talking, much to Lena’s irritation, “hey, wait up. Where are you going? There’s no crimes happening right now.”

 

            “Somewhere quiet,” Lena bluntly replied.

 

            Kara let out a confused laugh, “it’s quiet here though. Surprisingly. Usually there’s a lot more happening, but I guess it must be a quiet night. I guess we’re going to be competing with each other for the next one, huh? Who do you think would win; me or you? Wait that’s a stupid question, I can fly and-“

 

            “Kara!” Lena shouted, whirling around, “stop talking!”

 

            Looking stunned, Kara cut off mid-sentence, and she seemed to recoil slightly as some of her bubbliness died down. “Oh … you were trying to get away from me.”

 

            Sighing, Lena gave her an exasperated look from behind the mask, even though Kara couldn’t see her. “Listen, I’ve told you before, you’re nice. It’s better if you stay away from me though, because bad things follow me around, okay? You’ll get into trouble with your sister too. She doesn’t trust me, and she loves you more than anything, so-“

 

            “What?” Kara asked, frowning when Lena trailed off.

 

            Lena hesitated, a thought growing in her mind, “um, can I get your sister’s number quickly?”

 

            “Why?” Kara warily asked.

 

            “I just … I think I might have a way to fix things. To get her off my back and make her trust me,” Lena admitted.

 

            Blinking in surprise, Kara rattled off a serious of numbers that Lena committed to memory, and then she smiled slightly. “Does that mean we can be friends then?”

 

            “No.”

 

            “Oh … but you just said-“

 

            Letting out a sound of frustration, Lena grabbed Kara by her arms, feeling the hard biceps beneath her hands and taking a moment to appreciate them. “I told you, I’m not _good_ , Kara. I’m messed up in more ways than you can imagine – not just my brother, or my dead friend or my fucked up family – it’s just better if we’re not friends.”

 

            “Okay, well just- hang on, there’s a robbery at Sixth and Gold, I have to go,” Kara said, tearing herself out of Lena’s arms, “maybe I’ll see you there.” Lena heard a laugh as Kara shot off into the sky, and she let out a snarl of anger, her feet pounding on the stairs as she raced up to the rooftop and started sprinting across it, aiming for the roof of the building next to it. She was starting to regret going to Kara’s the other week – she should’ve just let herself pass out in the street, because at least then she wouldn’t be irritated to death by her new shadow.

 

\---

           

            The next morning, Lena busied herself at work, as usual, but throughout her business meetings and during the process of doing her paperwork, she couldn’t stop thinking about the number that Kara had given her last night. She was hesitant to ring it, knowing that Alex would be pissed, but Lena didn’t know what else to do. A plan had come to her last night, and it could answer a lot of her problems, so when she left the office that night, she plucked up the courage to call the number.

 

            _“Hello?”_

            Lena hesitated, just for a moment, before replying, “this is Lena Luthor.”

 

            There was a tense pause while Lena waited for Alex to reply. _“What do you want?”_

            “To meet,” Lena curtly replied, “we need to talk.” She gave Alex an address on the outskirts of the city, and after a few stiff words, they both hung up. With her plan in motion, Lena climbed into her car and set off towards the meeting point, hoping that Alex had come alone, as Lena had requested.

 

            She was already there when Lena pulled up in her car, turning the engine off and climbing out. Smoothing out her light grey pants, Lena cleared her throat as she walked towards the intimidating woman leaning against the bumper of her own car with her arms folded across her chest. Alex gave Lena a cool look as she approached, her eyes slightly narrowed and her mouth a thin line.

 

            “Thank you for coming,” Lena curtly greeted her, getting a stiff nod in return. She didn’t wait for a reply, she just forged onwards, knowing that neither of them wanted to meet – not after the hostility of their last meeting – and Lena wanted to get home as soon as possible. “Listen, I might not be good at all this spy shit – I mean, I’m not bad, or you would have proof by now – but my strengths lie in business,” Lena said, a determined look on her face as she met Alex’s hard stare. “I have something you want.”

 

            “There’s nothing you can give me that will make me bend the law for you,” Alex coolly replied.

 

            With a slight smirk, Lena arched an eyebrow at her, “I can assure you, you want this. I’m willing to make a trade. I’ll give you what I have, and in return, you turn a blind eye to someone giving a few criminals a slap on the wrist.”

 

            “No.”

 

            “Well, when your sister gets hurt, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Lena haughtily replied, turning around and walking off.

 

            “Wait!”

 

            A slow smile spread across Lena’s face – she knew that bringing up Kara would do the trick – and she turned around with an expectant look on her face. “Change of heart?”

 

            “What do you have?” Alex snapped, “I want to know what it is before I make a deal.”

 

            “No,” Lena said, “I need a written contract that you’ll keep your end of the bargain first.”

 

            Alex let out a sharp laugh, “a _written contract?_ I can  _not_ give you a written contract. If you go down, you’re not taking me with you. I don’t have proof yet, but I can assure you that when someone finds some, they’ll bring you in. I’m _not_ breaking the law and giving them the proof to charge me for your scheming. You have my word; that’s all I can give you.”

 

            “And how do I know I can trust your word?”

 

            “Because I’ll do anything for my sister,” Alex blurted out, looking slightly panicked, “anything you want.”

 

            Lena nodded and turned around and Alex called after her, but Lena just gave her a small smile and jerked her head towards the warehouse and told her to keep up. Slipping through the gate in the chain link fence, the two girls walked towards the door in tense silence, and out of the corner of her eye, Lena could see Alex’s hand itching to rest on the gun strapped to her waist. Opening up the little box and putting her hand on the scanner, Lena waited for the door to open and switched the lights on inside – a sure fire way to get shot would be to let Alex think she was being led into a trap – and then she walked in, staring at the glass and metal room in the middle of the warehouse.

 

            “What’s that?” Alex asked in a low voice, her boots clicking on the floor as she took a few steps forward, frowning at the room holding dozens of boxes.

 

            “My end of the bargain.” The two of them crossed the warehouse, and Lena reached out and let the hand scanner prick her palm, wincing slightly at the sharp pain, and then walked into the room first. Alex wouldn’t trust her at all, but she would in a minute. Lena looked at her as she watched Alex hesitantly walk in, giving the boxes wary glances. “This is my brother’s.”

 

            “Your _brother’s?”_

 

            “He wants me to kill Kara,” Lena said, her mouth feeling dry as she spoke, reaching for one of the chests and opening it up to bathe them in a green glow. “With this.”

 

            Alex let out a breathless gasp, approaching the box and bracing herself on the edge of it as she stared down at the green substance. Her face was emerald green, but Lena could see that beneath the glow, all of the blood had ran out of her face in fear. “Kryptonite,” Alex murmured, quickly glancing up at Lena.

 

            “There’s dozens of kinds,” Lena told her, “some of it has been turned into weapons. Deadly weapons. Some of them ... I don’t even know what they do. If someone else gets their hands on this … she’s dead.”

 

            “And you … you’re just going to _give_ it all to me?” Alex incredulously asked.

 

            Lena shrugged, “all I want to do is protect this city. She’s a part of it – a _big_ part – and she saves people too. I don’t want her badly hurt, for what it’s worth.”

 

            “What’s to stop me from arresting you right now and taking this into the D.E.O.’s possession?” Alex asked her, raising her chin up in a slight challenge.

 

            A wry smile twisted Lena’s lips, and she tilted her head to the side as she looked at Alex, “mm, I don’t think that you will. After all, I could’ve kept this secretly hidden, and you would _never_ have found it. Who’s to say that I don’t have another secret cache left behind by my brother? One that you wouldn’t be able to find either.”

 

            Nodding, Alex clenched her teeth and Lena saw her throat bob up and down as she swallowed thickly. “You have your deal. I’ll keep the D.E.O. off your tail – I’ll try and keep the police too – and if you find anymore of this in your brother’s shit, you give it to me. Do we have an agreement?”

 

            “We do.”

 

\---

 

            Lena was sitting on one of the stools lining her kitchen counters, nursing a glass of red wine that was the same colour as her blouse. She was still dressed in the stone grey suit that she’d worn to work, and was in the middle of debating whether or not she should get changed and go out for the night. As much as Lena hated to admit that Kara was right, she had been a little off her game last night, and the kick had sent pain flaring through her side, and she was starting to doubt that she was at her physical best. Not that she couldn’t take down anyone she came across anyway, but it would mean she was the tiniest bit slower, and that could be the difference between a nice bruising punch or being quick enough to dodge it.

 

            Her internal struggle was interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on her door, and she sighed as she slid off the stool and padded barefoot down the hallway to open it. She wasn’t sure who to expect – either Roulette or Lillian – but to her surprise, it was Kara, looking different with her glasses and pale blue shirt tucked into navy tartan skirt, and Lena couldn’t help but notice how the colour blue was _definitely_ Kara’s colour. “Oh, um, hi?”

 

            “Sorry to disturb you, but, um, I wanted to talk with you, if that’s okay,” Kara slowly said, a hopeful look on her face.

 

            Lena sighed, standing aside and gesturing for her to come in. They walked down the hallway, with Kara towering over Lena as she followed behind in her heels, and Lena sat back down on the stool as she watched with mild amusement as Kara take her shoes off and hang up her coat. “What do you want?”

 

            “Alex told me what you did,” Kara said, cutting straight to the chase. “Thank you.”

 

            “You saved my life – twice – I was just evening out the score a little,” Lena shrugged.

 

            Kara let out a quick laugh, smiling as she walked over to Lena, “I told you, I didn’t do it for a favour – both times – so you don’t have to get even with me.”

 

            “Well I don’t like people owing me things,” Lena replied, climbing to her feet again, “wait here.” She quickly walked into her office, picking up the pile on the workbench against the far wall and carrying it back out to Kara. Putting the pile of red and blue down on the counter, Lena gestured to it. “This is for the second favour. Now we’re even.”

 

            Frowning slightly, Kara reached out and picked up one of the red boots, her fingers marvelling at the supple feeling of the thin leather beneath her fingers. Then she picked up the blue jumpsuit, which would cover her from neck to ankles, and still had the familiar Kryptonian crest emblazoned over where her heart would be. There was a pair of small, red fingerless globes and a new cape too, and Kara looked at them all with wide eyes.

 

            “It’s all made from the same fabric mine is – it’s made at L-Corp – which means that it’s bulletproof, impervious to sharp objects, and fire and waterproof. It’s more practical than your other suit, and I even tested kryptonite against it, so you’re safe from any knives. The neck … it’s a little bit rolled over like that because if anyone tries to set off kryptonite gas around you again, it comes up to cover your mouth and nose. Basically, it’s _me_ proof.”

 

            “But why?”

 

            “Like I said, I don’t like owing people anything,” Lena muttered, taking a sip of her wine before setting the glass back down.

 

            “Thank you, Lena. Truly. For what it’s worth, I think Alex trusts you just a little now,” Kara said, giving Lena a warm smile as she started setting everything back onto the counter. One of the boots flopped down on the counter and before Kara could stop it, the glass of wine tipped and spilt onto Lena’s lap.

 

            “Fucking hell,” Lena muttered, watching as the upper thigh of her grey pants were stained a deep red. She sighed as she listened to Kara’s frantic apologies, and she was there a moment later with a dish towel from the kitchen, on her knees before Lena as she dabbed at the wine stain, much to Lena’s discomfort. Her hand was extremely high on Lena’s thigh, and she spluttered as she tried to come up with a way to tell Kara to stop, her cheeks turning red as Lena got flustered. “Kara, just leave it,” she managed to say, one hand clamping down on Kara’s to stop her frantic dabbing.

 

            Still kneeling in front of Lena, Kara blushed, nervously pushing her glasses up her nose as she climbed to her feet. She stood before Lena, wringing the dish towel in her hands as she gave Lena an apologetic smile, “I’m _so_ sorry. I’ll get it dry cleaned for you and everything. Or I-I’ll replace it if the stain doesn’t come out!”

 

            Lena let out a snort of laughter, climbing off the stool and walking towards the open door of her bedroom, “don’t worry yourself about it.”

 

            She stripped off her wet pants, and was unbuttoning her red shirt and pulling it off when she heard Kara behind her. Whirling around, Lena started to slip the shirt back on, realising that she wasn’t wearing any pants, and then blushing when she realised that Kara had already seen her in her underwear before. Whatever Kara was saying was cut off as she stared at Lena – at her stomach – and Kara took a tentative step inside the bedroom, slowly walking over to Lena.

 

            “It’s healed?” she murmured, reaching out to brush aside the shirt and touch the slightly raised scar to the left side of Lena’s stomach. Lena’s breathing hitched, and she let out a shaky breath as Kara looked up at her, her blue eyes filled with concern. “Does it hurt?”

 

            All Lena could feel was Kara’s hot hand pressed against her waist, and she shook her head, “no. No, it doesn’t hurt.”

 

            “Oh,” Kara murmured, staring intensely into Lena’s eyes. One side of the shirt slipped off Lena’s shoulder, and then the other side did, until the shirt was caught in the crooks of her elbows, and Lena was extremely aware of how close Kara was standing. Too close. And her hand was still on Lena’s waist. “Oh, sorry,” Kara murmured, realising she was touching Lena, who had turned into a statue beneath her touch.

 

            Lena breathlessly murmured, “it’s fine.”

 

            “Lena,” she whispered.

 

            “What?” Lena murmured in reply, her hands already going to Kara’s waist as she mirrored her stance.

 

            “When you kissed me …”

 

            And then Lena was kissing her again, and her shirt was on the floor. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t want to be alone, and that scared her more than anything. Her heart was racing, and no doubt Kara could hear it, but she didn’t care. Meeting with Alex had left her body coursing with adrenaline – she could’ve _easily_ been arrested, but her deal going according to plan had left her with a rush – but now it was fading, and Lena didn’t want to be alone. So she kissed Kara, and then Kara kissed her back.

 

            Kara pulled back, resting her forehead against Lena’s as they both stood there breathing heavily. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, and Lena stood there silently, waiting to see what would happen next. Kara’s hands were on both sides of her waist, and Lena was pulled up close to her, feeling the warmth that radiated off her. “Lena. Wh-what are we … what is this?”

 

            “It’s nothing,” Lena quickly said, more reassuring herself than Kara. She had never been one for any sort of strings attached to sex, and she wanted Kara, she couldn’t deny that, but she wouldn’t complicate things by make it anything more than it had to be. They weren’t friends, they didn’t have to see each other all the time, there was nothing there for either of them.

 

            “Well … alright then,” Kara said, frowning slightly, before she roughly kissed Lena, cupping her face in her hands, while Lena fumbled for the thin belt on Kara’s skirt, and began to work it free.

 

            Their clothes were strewn all over the place, and Kara easily picked Lena up, carrying her over to Lena’s big bed and laying her down in the middle. With slightly wide eyes, Lena watched as Kara crawled on top of her, pinning her down with her hips, and placing a soft kiss on Lena’s lips. She let out a sound of frustration – she wasn’t here for Kara to treat her like a fragile doll – and Lena pushed herself up, threading her hands through Kara’s hair and pulling her closer as she crashed their lips together. Kara laughed slightly against her lips, and grabbed her wrists, pinning Lena’s hands down either side of her head, before she kissed the side of her neck, trailing hot kisses up and down while Lena squirmed slightly.

 

\---

 

            It was midnight by the time that they both lay side by side, staring up at the dark ceiling while they tried to slow their breathing. Lena didn’t touch Kara, she just lay on top of the covers, leaving a tiny gap between them as she frowned in confusion. Neither of them moved or spoke for a few minutes, but then Lena rolled over and climbed out of bed. She fumbled on the floor, picking up the first shirt that she found and slipping it on, realising that it was Kara’s by the too long cuffs, and she rifled through her drawers, coming up with a packet of cigarettes and lighting it. She quickly walked over to the balcony door and opened it, stepping out into the cool air and taking a drag of the cigarette.

 

            A pair of warm hands touched her waist, and Lena jumped slightly, turning her head to look at Kara over her shoulder. “You shouldn’t smoke,” Kara softly told her, “it’s bad for you, and I thought you’d want to be fit for when you chase after criminals.”

 

            “I don’t smoke often,” Lena muttered, “only when I’m anxious.”

 

            “Anxious?” Kara said, sounding surprised and amused, “did I not do a good enough job at helping you relax?”

 

            Lena let out a snort of laughter, blowing out a stream of smoke and outing the lit cigarette on the stone wall of the balcony. She didn’t know why she cared what Kara thought, but the disapproval in her tone was enough for Lena to flick it over the side of her balcony, still practically whole. Kara let out a soft laugh, kissing the side of Lena’s neck and stopping when she felt Lena tense slightly.

 

            “You should go home,” Lena quietly told her.

 

            Kara was silent for a moment, “oh.”

 

            Letting out a quiet snort of laughter, Lena shook her head slightly as she looked out at the dark city that was sprawled out before her. It was pierced with lights, but it was quiet, and a part of her hoped that nothing too bad had happened while she’d been busy with Kara. “I can’t sleep next to people.”

 

            “That’s fine,” Kara quickly assured her, “um, are you- was it-“

 

            “I’ll see you soon,” Lena told her, smiling slightly.

 

            She felt Kara exhale in surprise, her warm breath caressing the back of Lena’s neck and making her shiver, and there was a smile in her voice as she replied, “okay, um, yeah, sure, of course.” The warm hands on Lena’s waist disappeared, and she didn’t turn around, expecting Kara to show herself out, but a moment later, she realised that Kara was still stood behind her, and Lena turned her head to arch an eyebrow at her. “Sorry, it’s just- you, um, you’re wearing my shirt.”

 

            Lena laughed, turning to face her and shrugging out of the pale blue shirt. She handed it over, her fingers brushing against Kara’s, before she walked back into her apartment and pulled back the covers of her bed. She watched Kara walk around the room, finding all of her clothes and getting dressed, and then Lena picked up the flimsy glasses from the beside table and handed them out to her. With a smile and a thank you, Kara took them, and finished buttoning up her shirt, messily tucking it into her skirt. Lena bit her lip to stop herself from smiling at the dishevelled look that was so different from Kara’s usual prim look.

 

            Kara hesitated before leaving, “um, is it okay if I come and collect the suit tomorrow?”

 

            “Sure,” Lena said, shrugging carelessly.

 

            “Thank you again for it,” Kara sincerely told her.

 

            Lena nodded, a smirk playing on her lips as she looked at Kara in the semi-darkness, “no problem. Thank you for saving my life … and the sex.”

 

            “Anytime,” Kara laughed, sounding slightly flustered, “goodnight, Lena.”

 

            “Goodnight, Kara,” she whispered, watching as Kara slipped through the door. Closing her eyes, Lena listened to the sound of footsteps receding, and the opening and closing of the door, before she let out a shaky breath. Sighing to herself, she rolled over and buried her face into the pillows, trying to make sense of this whole situation. She hadn’t exactly planned on having casual sex with Supergirl, but now, Lena was starting to realise that none of her plans ever worked out the way she planned them.


	16. Chapter 16

             Kara was in the middle of tucking her shirt into her pants when there was a knock on the door. She quickly x-rayed it and smiled when she saw Alex standing on the other side, rushing to open the door to her sister. “Hi!”

 

             “Morning,” Alex said, eyeing her sister with slight bewilderment, “you’re awfully chipper this morning?”

 

             “Am I?” Kara asked, her eyes widening innocently.

 

             Alex snorted, walking over to the kitchen and helping herself to some orange juice out of the fridge. “Where are you off to? I thought today was your day off.”

 

             Kara hesitated slightly, fiddling with one of the buttons on her shirt as she softly cleared her throat. “Oh, um, well, it is, but I’m going to see Lena.”

 

             Choking in surprise, Alex coughed and spluttered as she swallowed her mouthful of the orange juice and put her glass down with a loud thud. “Lena as in Lena _Luthor?_ _Why_ are you going to see her? _”_

             “Well she, um, she made me a new suit because she said it’s better than my D.E.O. one, and I left it at her apartment last night so I’m just going to pick it up.”

 

             “Why were you _at_ her place last night?” Alex asked, looking slightly suspicious.

 

             Kara casually shrugged, willing herself not to blush as she replied, “I just went to thank her. You know, for handing over the kryptonite.”

 

             “Right,” Alex slowly said, “well, just be careful around her, okay?”

 

             “Oh come on, Alex, don’t try and tell me how to behave, I’m not a child,” Kara sighed, “and she’s not a bad person.”

 

             Alex huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, “I’m not treating you like a child, I’m just telling you to be careful, is all. I know she’s not a bad person, but she _is_ a criminal, and I have a bad feeling about this whole thing."

 

             Kara rolled her eyes, "don't say criminal - it makes her sound like she's done something wrong. I mean, yeah, what she's doing is illegal, but she's  _helping_ people."

 

             Alex's mouth fell open in surprise, "you were the one who was out fighting her on the streets because she was breaking the  _law_ _!_ What, you just suddenly had a change of heart?"

 

             Trying not to blush, Kara shrugged slightly, "I mean, I've talked to her, and I know her heart is in the right place. Come on, Alex, she  _helped_ you last night; she could've kept it all to herself and killed me if she was evil like her brother. That has to tell you that she's on our side - or at least we're two sides of the same coin."

 

             "I just know this deal is going to come back and bite me on the ass.”

 

             “You worry too much,” Kara told her with a smile.

 

\---

 

             It was Saturday, which meant that Lena didn’t _have_ to go to the office today, even though she was considering it, just so her mom’s spies could report back to her that Lena was throwing herself into her work as much as possible. She decided against it though, feeling like she deserved a break after the past three weeks of being buried up to her eyeballs in paperwork and meetings, which was fortunate for Kara, who knocked on her door at nine o’clock. Lena wasn’t expecting anyone, so she warily crept down the hallway and pulled it open slightly, letting out an exasperated sigh when she saw that it was Kara.

 

             “Hi!” Kara beamed at her, lifting the tray with two cups of coffee and a paper bag perched on top, “I brought coffee.”

 

             “Um, hi?” Lena said, giving her a puzzled look, “why are you here so early?”

 

             “I just came to collect the suit,” Kara shrugged, “I figured that you’d be up early anyway, so I thought I’d come and annoy you now so that you could be undisturbed for the rest of the day.”

 

             Lena frowned slightly. “Oh,” she murmured, opening the door wider and letting Kara in. They both walked down the hallway, and Lena sat down at the dining table, gesturing for Kara to take a seat. Sitting down and dropping her bag to the floor, Kara plucked one of the coffees from the tray and placed it down in front of Lena, who murmured her thanks, and then offered her one of the bagels in the paper bag. They both ate their bagels in silence, taking sips of their coffee and sneaking peeks at each other when the other wasn’t looking. Eventually, Kara finished her food and cleared her throat, causing Lena to look up expectantly.

 

             “So, about last night,” Kara slowly said, clutching her coffee cup with both of her hands to steady herself, “I, uh, I know I said _anytime_ , but I feel like- well, I, uh, so, um, I’ve never, ah, had casual sex before, and, well, last night was kind of surprising.”

 

             “Okay,” Lena shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee.

 

             “Okay?”

 

             Arching an eyebrow at her, Lena smirked slightly, “it was just a bit of fun, Kara. Don’t get too worked up about it.” Lena tilted her head to the side, looking at the faint blush on Kara’s cheeks and the way that she intently stared at the floor. “What, did you _not_ have fun? Because it sure sounded like yo-“

 

             “Yes, I did,” Kara quickly cut her off, her cheeks turning redder, much to Lena’s amusement. “I just- I don’t know where we stand. Last night you were a bit …”

 

             “I was what?” Lena asked, narrowing her eyes slightly as she stared at Kara, who was still looking at the floor.

 

             With a sigh, Kara looked up, grimacing as she tried to hide how flustered she was. “I don’t know, you were a bit … aloof? You didn’t exactly seem thrilled about it and I just-“

 

             Lena let out a snort of laughter, “what, is my gloomy personality wounding your ego?”

 

             “No!” Kara defensively exclaimed, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I just want to clear some things up.”

 

             “Like what?”

 

             Kara shrugged helplessly, “I don’t know … are we going to have sex again? You know, like what the hell are we doing? You said it was nothing, and that’s fine, but it’s _something_.”

 

             Rolling her eyes, Lena leant back in her chair and sipped her coffee, “it’s _just_ sex, Kara. If it happens again, then it happens again. Simple. It probably will, unless you don’t _want_ it to, but I’m not coming up with a fucking rule book.”

 

             “Okay, well that’s fine then,” Kara quietly agreed, “I guess you can just … call whenever you want?”

 

             “Okay.”

 

             Giving Lena a slight smile, Kara climbed to her feet with her coffee in hand, “well, I should probably go. I’ve got a city to keep safe.”

 

             “Let me know if the suit needs any adjustments,” Lena told her.

 

             Nodding, Kara gave her a brighter smile, “will do. Thank you again for making it for me.”

 

             “Thank you for the coffee and bagel,” Lena said, the corners of her lips curling up the tiniest bit. Kara’s nose wrinkled and the corner of her eyes crinkled as she gave Lena a warm smile, picking up the pile that was still on the counter where she’d put it last night, and putting it into her bag.

 

             Heading towards the door, with Lena trailing after her, Kara opened it up and hesitated on the threshold. She looked over her shoulder, giving Lena a smile, “I guess I’ll see you soon. Maybe even tonight.”

 

             “Maybe,” Lena coolly replied, one of her eyebrows raising slightly as she smirked.

 

\---

 

             Lena was slinking through the shadows, keeping an eye out for any trouble as crept down the alleyway. She could hear voices coming from around the corner, and she unhooked one of the batons, leaving the other half of her staff strapped to her back as she silently made her way towards it, straining her ears to make out the words.

 

             “Don’t worry, it’s just two girls arguing over a guy they met in a club,” a voice whispered in Lena’s ear, and she whirled around, grabbing Kara by the front of her suit and slamming her into the side of a wall. “Hi.”

 

             “Don’t you _ever_ do that again,” Lena quietly snarled, letting her go and taking a step back. She let the magnets on her back pull the baton back into place, and trying to slow her pulse, which was racing a mile a minute.

 

             Kara blinked in surprise, giving Lena a sheepish smile when she realised that she’d startled her. “Sorry.”

 

             “What the fuck are you doing here?” Lena hissed at her, and Kara shrugged as she smiled.

 

             “I thought I’d see what you were up to,” she said, “it’s a quiet night. I was getting bored.”

 

             Lena let out a sound of frustration, kicking out at one of the cardboard boxes and frightening a small tabby cat that scuttled out from underneath an overflowing dumpster, hissing as it shot off down the alley in search of a safe hiding spot. “I’m busy, Kara-“

 

             “Kara? Who’s Kara? I’m Supergirl.”

 

             “Fuck you,” Lena snapped, “I’m not in the mood for any games. I’m trying to keep people safe and I don’t need you showing up and making it _more_ difficult for me. You’re distracting me.”

 

             Kara frowned, pouting slightly as she stepped away from the wall, “I’m trying to help.”

 

             “I don’t _need_ your help,” Lena argued, “what you can offer makes no difference to me; I’ve been doing this far longer than you. I’m better off alone.”

 

             “Are we still talking about the crime?”

 

             Lena gave her a hard look, and Kara pressed her lips together to stop herself from putting her foot in it. The truth was that Lena had spent a year running around the city, trying to escape the sting of her past that still haunted her. It still hurt her whenever she thought about Jack, and that was part of the reason why she still saw him when she found herself anxious. There was a part of her that was still caught up on trying to find out what happened to her friend, and as much as she liked saving people and keeping the streets safe, she was determined to find his killer one day. She didn’t need Kara swooping in at every opportunity to complicate things for he; this was something that Lena had to do herself.

 

             “Leave me alone, Kara,” Lena sighed, crunching broken glass beneath her boots as she turned to walk away.

 

             A hand grabbed her upper arm, and Lena jerked her head around, glaring at Kara from behind her mask as she wrenched her arm out of Kara’s grasp. “Hey, you don’t get to be rude to me and then use me when it’s convenient for you,” Kara scolded her, “if you’re not going to be nice, then I’m not going to help you stay out of trouble.”

 

             “I don’t _need your help_ ,” Lena stiffly replied, “and I never said I was nice.”

 

             “Well can you just make your mind up whether you like me or hate me,” Kara huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Because if you don’t like me then just … why did you give Alex the kryptonite? And why did you make me this suit? And why did you sleep with me?”

 

             Lena clenched her hands into fists as she swallowed the lump in her throat. “Because I _don’t_ hate you. I don’t particularly like you either, but I _am_ attracted to you and I owed you two favours. Now we’re even, and if we sleep together again, it doesn’t mean anything. I didn’t realise you were after _conversation_.”

 

             “Conversation,” Kara spluttered, “sorry am I just never supposed to talk to you?”

 

             Shrugging, Lena rolled her eyes behind her lenses, “do whatever you want, Kara, just don’t expect me to change because we fucked one time.”

 

             Flinching slightly, Kara nodded, before shooting off into the sky and leaving Lena stood alone in the alleyway. The two girls were still bickering around the corner, and Lena was tempted to go and knock them upside the head just to shut them up. Rolling her eyes, she walked over to the dumpster, hauling herself onto the lid and squashing down the bags of garbage throwing inside, before she jumped up for the bottom rung of the fire escape, her hands folding around the rusted metal, sending a shower of orange flakes down to her as she hauled herself up, gritting her teeth at the effort it took for her to pull herself up. She really needed to start hitting the gym more to build back up all the strength and agility that she had lost from weeks of dealing with her bullet wound. She had tried to keep on top of exercises that wouldn’t strain her abs, but even the effort of lifting weights for her arms had stretched her obliques and sent pain through her side, and Lena had begrudgingly given up trying. Lena was starting to regret it now.

 

             She wearily trudged across the rooftop, thinking about Kara and how offended she seemed to be by Lena’s lack of kindness. It wasn’t that she was a mean person – well, she hoped not – but she didn’t have time to reassure someone’s insecurities, and if Kara was after someone who was going to be comforting and sweet, and after something _more_ than sex, she should look elsewhere. Yet, Lena couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty for upsetting Kara, even if she hadn’t meant to. She was already wondering whether last night had been a mistake.


	17. Chapter 17

            Lena didn’t speak to Kara for almost three weeks. She didn’t know how to apologise – she didn’t really think she _had_ to – and Kara didn’t call her, so Lena assumed that was the end of that. She wasn’t sure if Kara was still keeping tags on her as Supergirl during the night, but if she was, she stayed out of Lena’s way, and didn’t interfere, even when Lena went up against decidedly bigger opponents. It made no difference to Lena though; this was what she had wanted. Without Kara shadowing her everywhere and bothering her about her vigilante work, Lena was able to get her operation running at full strength again, and was back to her old routine of classes, therapy, work and vigilantism.

 

            Almost three weeks later though, she was prowling the streets and got an alert on her police radio for a robbery at a convenience store a few blocks away. Lena had raced there a fast as possible, knocking one of the men out instantly with her staff, and going hand to hand with a woman half a head taller than her. She tried to be as careful as possible with the stock inside the store, keeping the fighting to the open space before the till, but the next thing she knew, she was pulled backwards and thrown straight into a shelf of potato chips. The shelf tipped into the next one and they both fell forward, showering Lena with bags of chips, and an assortment of canned vegetables and soups. Wincing as she tried to lift the heavy shelf off herself, Lena’s lenses locked onto the target. It was Supergirl. Lena’s face twisted into a mask of anger beneath the mask, and she wriggled her legs out and climbed to her feet as she watched Kara take out the woman and the other man.

 

            “What the fuck was that,” Lena snarled at her, her voice coming out deep and robotic.

 

            “You,” Kara hissed, flying at Lena and tackling her down the aisle – over the already destroyed shelves and stock and straight into the drywall. Lena felt the breath leave her lungs as she was smashed through the drywall, feeling it give way beneath her back, and into the storeroom out the back.

 

            She was roughly tossed to the floor, and she bit back a cry of pain as she scrambled to her feet. “What the hell are you doing?!” Lena shouted at Kara, her eyes wide with panic and concern. This wasn’t what they did anymore – they were at somewhat of a truce – and Lena felt her anger bubble up. She watched as Kara’s eyes darted from side to side, wide and alarmed, and then she locked eyes with Lena. “You. _You_ brought them here. You’re trying to kill me.”

 

            “Wha- Kara, what’re you talking about,” Lena spluttered, frowning as she followed Kara’s line of sight, which had gone back to frantically flitting around the room, looking at something Lena couldn’t see. “What’s wrong?”

 

            “There’s so many of them,” Kara breathed, an almost silver looking vein throbbing on the side of her forehead. With a cry, Kara shot lasers from her eyes, cutting a wonky line through the wall and ceiling, bringing some of the panels crashing down onto Lena, who turned and ducked her head, pulling her hands up to protect the back of it as she was showered with plaster dust and chunks of the ceiling. A searing pain flared across Lena’s left shoulder blade, and she let out a scream of pain, throwing herself to the floor.

 

            Rolling onto her back, Lena scuttled backwards, until she was pressed up against the wall, breathing heavily as she watched Kara tear the room apart as she fought off invisible enemies. Lena was frozen in fear – true fear, for the first time in her life – as she watched Kara give into her anger and power. She was hallucinating, Lena realised, and she let out a quiet laugh when she saw the shadowy figure of Jack stood nearby, conjured up by Lena’s fear and anxiety. Closing her eyes, Lena tried to still her breathing and banish her fears; they both couldn’t afford to be incapacitated by ghosts of bad memories, because whatever was tormenting Kara, it was something that made her afraid.

 

            Lena knew that she had to get out of there, because whatever was happening, Kara blamed her for it. If Kara cooled down long enough turn her attention to her, Lena wouldn’t stand a chance. Trying to move as fast as possible and still remain unnoticed, Lena slid across the floor, heading for the hole in the wall. She made it all the way over to it, and just managed to her feet, when she felt the searing heat of the laser beams streak past her face. Lena dove into the shop as quick as possible, huddling on the floor as she watched food burn to a crisp and bottles of soda explode, showering her with a dozen different flavours. As soon as the lasers stopped, Lena made a run for it, hunched over and zig-zagging as she ran through the store, and pushed open the door.

 

            She was no match for a superpowered alien though, and as she stepped into the road, Kara was pulling her back, easily lifting Lena off her feet and slamming her down on the nearest car. The windscreen cracked and the bonnet dented under the force of Lena’s body, and she could almost swear It wasn’t the only thing that popped. Struggling to breathe from the blow, she feebly kicked and struggled as Kara held her pinned down. Fumbling for her belt, Lena pushed a button that activated the tasers in her gauntlets, and she jabbed one hand into Kara’s jugular. It wasn’t enough to do any real harm, and if she had done it anywhere else she doubted it would’ve made Kara flinch, but tiny zap was enough to take Kara by surprise, but only for a moment, because then she bared her teeth at Lena and threw her onto the sidewalk. Rolling as she landed hard on the concrete, Lena felt grateful for her elbow and knee pads, which had taken the brunt of the impact, as she crawled forward, listening to the sound of Kara’s boots stalk towards her. Lena was cursing herself for making Kara such a good suit, _and_ getting rid of all of her kryptonite, knowing that she couldn’t fight her off.

 

            In a last ditch effort, Lena pulled the small radio from her belt and held down the button. She had never used it for anything other than listening to police radios, and she knew the D.E.O. used it for a similar purpose, so that Kara could get to crimes as fast as possible if their own software didn’t pick it up first. “Agent Danvers,” she gasped, the sound coming out distorted, “th-there’s something ... _wrong_ with … Supergirl. She- I need help. Y-you need to send … a force t-to stop her.”

 

            Kara’s attention was distracted again, and Lena watched as she blew up parked cars with her eyes, bowled over people with her super breath as she tried to freeze invisible enemies. Lena huddled in the mouth of an alleyway, gasping for air as she tried to ignore the dull pain that pervaded her body. The D.E.O. were fast, and she knew that Alex would come for her sister as soon as humanly possible, which meant that Lena had to keep quiet until they got here.

 

            It didn’t take long, and then Alex was running forward, glowing green in some sort of kryptonite suit as she called out to her sister. Kara’s anger seemed to elevate though, and she whirled around to face her sister. “You’re one of them! You’re helping her, aren’t you!”

 

            “Supergirl,” Alex said, taking a slow step forward with her hands raised, “I’m here to hel-“

 

            “Stay back!” Kara shouted, reaching out to lift the front end of a car, the threat clear in the movement. Alex held her hands out, trying to soothe her sister as she took a step backwards, not wanting to startle Kara into action. Her eyes darted over to Lena, who was still sitting in the mouth of the alley, watching with rapt attention in the midst of soggy newspapers and three-day old food from the restaurant that was to the right out it. Nodding, Lena slowly climbed to her feet, while Alex tried to keep Kara occupied.

 

            Taking a deep breath, Lena gritted her teeth and ran at Kara, tackling her around the middle and feeling like she was colliding with a brick wall. It caught her attention though, and Lena unhooked one half of her staff, swinging the baton and catching Kara squarely on the jaw. The metal bent upon impact, and Lena tossed it at Kara, stepping out of reach as Kara made an angry swipe for her. During the distraction, Alex had managed to bridge the few metres separating her and Kara, and before Kara could grab Lena, Alex had her arms around her sister, who let out a gasp of pain, stumbling slightly as the closeness of the kryptonite weakened her. While Lena had made the suit impervious to blades and weapons made of it, it did nothing against the effects of being close to it, and Alex was glowing green as she hugged her sister from behind, bearing her teeth as she held Kara as tightly as possible while she struggled in Alex’s arms. The other agents that Lena knew – Agent Lane and Olsen – raced forward, both of them carrying green and metal contraptions that they used to lock Kara’s legs and arms together so she couldn’t move, and would be too weak to use her powers or be much of a threat.

 

            Kara stopped moving as the kryptonite weakened her, and Alex let her go, breathing heavily as she carefully lowered her sister to the ground, looking at the silvery sheen on Kara’s face. She ordered James and Lucy to get her into the back of the van, and called off the other dozen agents who were hidden behind the scopes of their rifles, no doubt ready to riddle Kara’s exposed skin with low emitting kryptonite bullets. Lena was bracing herself against the brick wall of the restaurant beside the alley, her breathing ragged and her body screaming in protest at the slightest movement, and she looked up as Alex tentatively approached.

 

            “Hey.”

 

            “Agent Danvers,” Lena croaked.

 

            “Thank you for alerting us,” Alex said, sounding sincere, “are you injured? Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

            Lena shook her head, biting back a groan of pain, “nothing that a bit of rest won’t fix. I should be getting home.”

 

            “Need a ride?”

 

            “No.”

 

            Alex nodded and hesitated slightly, “I’m sure she didn’t mean to do … _this_.”

 

            “I think she was hallucinating,” Lena told her, “and paranoid. Here veins … they were silver.”

 

            “Silver kryptonite,” Alex groaned, “a piece fell off a workbench in the research labs and she picked it up. Only a small amount, but we didn't know what it did. Fucking hell.”

 

            Lena let out a bark of laughter, “well, at least you know to keep that one away from her.”

 

            Alex let out a relieved laugh, running a hand through her short hair as she nodded. “Yeah, right. Stay out of trouble tonight.” Lena scoffed and watched as Alex walk away without another word. It looked like as long as Lena had Kara’s best interests at heart, Alex was willing to play nice, and keep up her end of the bargain. Although Lena wondered why no one else had made an attempt to pick her up, considering that there had been a dozen other agents. She guessed that it was because containing the Supergirl situation had been their main priority; there wasn’t much damage Lena could do by herself. She couldn’t level a whole city if she got riled up and exploded – not like Kara could.

 

            Slinking down the alley, Lena scrambled up the wall at the back and made the slow journey back to her safe house, where she stripped off her suit, biting back curses as her muscles protested. She ran a freezing cold bath, hissing as the cold numbed her and she shivered violently as she adjusted to the temperature. She didn’t stay in long – it was too cold to – and she quickly dried off, doing a self-assessment and incurring that she had two cracked ribs, and the burn on her shoulder. Luckily, the durability of her suit had lessened the severity of the burn, and the cold bath had leached away some of the heat, so Lena applied some antibiotic cream to it and applied some loose gauze to ward off infection. It wasn’t a bad burn by any means, but after the bullet wound, Lena was paranoid about another infection, and her mom finding out.

 

            Fetching her coat, Lena grabbed her car keys and went downstairs, looking forward to her bed. She drove home quickly, and barely took the time to kick off her boots and strip off her clothes, before she collapsed into bed.

 

\---

 

            A tap on her balcony door woke her the next morning, and Lena squinted at the harsh sunlight streaming in through the curtains she’d forgotten to close last night. Through her half-closed eyes, Lena took in the caped figure standing outside – who else would it be? – and she staggered out of bed, dimly aware that she was only wearing her underwear. It didn’t matter anyway; Kara had seen her with far less on.

 

            Fumbling for the door handle, Lena opened the door and shaded her eyes as she winced. “What?”

 

            “I came to see if you're okay ... and apologise,” Kara quietly told her, and Lena sighed, turning around and leaving Kara to let herself in. She felt exhausted and she was aching everywhere; she needed some coffee. Padding barefoot to the kitchen, she busied herself with a pot of coffee while Kara stood nearby, nervously wringing her hands as she awkwardly lingered off to the side.

 

            Lena grabbed a second mug and poured Kara a cup when the coffee finished brewing, walking over to her and holding it out. “So, are you going to talk or what? Usually I have to tune out your incessant babbling. What happened, did you get fed up of the sound of your own voice?” Kara let out a quiet laugh, smiling slightly at Lena’s jibe, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. In fact, her eyes were roaming over Lena’s heavily bruised ribs and and stomach, and Lena rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m not that breakable.”

 

            “I’m sorry,” Kara blurted out, and Lena laughed.

 

            “You mentioned.”

 

            Kara frowned slightly, “wha- no, that wasn’t the apology. I said I came to give you one, so, I’m very sorry about last night. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

 

            “Clearly.”

 

            “I was … I saw things that I thought were going to hurt me. Hallucinations. And I thought that you …”

 

            Lena snorted with laughter, taking a sip of her bitter coffee as she smiled around the rim of her mug. “You thought that I was living up to my Luthor reputation.”

 

            “Well … yes,” Kara said, “but I was paranoid about everyone, not just you. I’ve never come across silver kryptonite before. It made me … I couldn’t control myself, I knew what I was doing but I just- I was _so_ convinced that it was real and I didn’t want to stop.”

 

            “Don’t beat yourself up about it,” Lena softly told her, “it’s not the first beating you’ve given me.”

 

            “Lena-“

 

            “That was a joke, Kara.” Letting out a quiet laugh, Kara scratched the back of her neck as she looked down at the floor. Lena leant against the kitchen counters, nursing her cup of coffee and her bruises as she watched Kara meekly stand in her costume as she silently drank her coffee. “Well, I can see you’re going to be fun today. Would you like a hand? Quite literally.”

 

            Kara choked on her coffee, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand as she coughed, much to Lena’s amusement. Meeting her gaze with wide eyes, Kara gave her a wary look, unsure whether Lena was serious or not, and Lena smirked at her, delicately arching an eyebrow suggestively. “Oh … you’re being serious.”

 

            “Well obviously,” Lena curtly replied, “was that a yes or a no?”

 

            Hesitating slightly, Kara shrugged carelessly, draining her coffee and placing the cup down on the counter, before reaching out for Lena and placing an urgent kiss to her lips. It broke off as Kara’s stomach made a loud rumble, and she gave Lena a sheepish smile, “sorry, the, uh, the silver kryptonite messed with my metabolism. I’ve already eaten ten thousand calories for breakfast but … I guess one of the side effects is hunger.”

 

            Lena let out a snort of laughter, gesturing to the cupboards, “help yourself.”

 

            Unsure if she was joking, Kara frowned slightly, and Lena rolled her eyes, walking over to one of the cupboards and pulling out an unopened box of protein bars. She tossed it to Kara, and started pulling out half a dozen more things, scattering them on the counter and gesturing for Kara to eat. She demolished everything within fifteen minutes, and Lena was startled but impressed, and amused when Kara’s stomach kept on rumbling, much to Kara’s embarrassment. Walking back over to the coffee pot, Lena poured them both more coffee, before she swept all of the wrappers into the bin and started pulling more stuff out of her cupboards. By the time she was finished, she had cracked all dozen eggs in the new carton, and had piled two plates with them, another with bacon, another with a teetering stack of pancakes, and another with a whole loaf of bread toasted and buttered, while the sausages were still sizzling slightly as she plucked them one by one out of the frying pan.

 

            It was the strangest breakfast that Lena could ever remember eating, and she sat across from Kara with her small plate of foot, watching as Kara sat surrounded by five plates and a whole carton of Lena’s favourite juice. By the end of the meal, every plate was scraped clean, and Lena was looking at Kara with wide eyes. “Are you still hungry?”

 

            “Not really,” Kara said, blushing slightly as she finished off the juice, “sorry about … this. I’ll restock your cupboards for you.”

 

            “Don’t worry about it,” Lena said, looking mildly concerned. She hesitated for a moment before speaking, “do you always eat a lot?”

 

            Kara let out an embarrassed laugh, “yes. Well, not usually _this_ much, but yes. Using my powers make me use a lot of energy, and I have a fast metabolism so …”

 

            “God, I really hope they’re paying you well,” Lena muttered, climbing to her feet and hiding a wince as she ribs protested, “you must spend your whole paycheck on food.”

 

            Quickly stacking the piled of plates, Kara climbed to her feet too, giving Lena a tiny grimace, “well, you know, having a place to live is sometimes more important than an extra box of snacks.”

 

            Lena frowned in disapproval, thinking about how much energy Kara must expend, saving the city every single day. She probably wouldn’t be on a great salary in a government position, and technically she was working for them _twice_ , but Lena doubted she was being paid for her hours flying around the city. Lena made a mental note to invite her around for sex more often – if they were over their silent treatment now – so that she could feed Kara up and make sure she didn’t burn out. If she was being honest, it was somewhat selfish too, because she would get to sleep with Kara at the same time, so it seemed like a good compromise in her mind. She just wouldn’t tell Kara that she was concerned about her calorie intake; she couldn’t let her think that she _cared._ Depositing all of the plates onto the kitchen counter, Kara reached out for the tap, and Lena stopped her.

 

            “It’s fine, just leave them.”

 

            Kara’s eyebrows flew up in surprise, “oh, did you still want to-“

 

            Letting out a quiet laugh, Lena shook her head, “no, it’s fine. You’ll probably burn too many calories and end up eating the wilting vegetables in my fridge.”

 

            Rolling her eyes, Kara slowly reached out for Lena, resting one hand on her waist and pulling her forward. Lena came willingly, a spark of desire in her eyes as she took in the hungry look on Kara’s face – this time it wasn’t for food – and she reached up to place a teasingly slow kiss on Kara’s lips. As Kara leant into it, Lena pulled away, smirking as Kara’s eyes flew open and she gave Lena an exasperated look. Grimacing at the smug look on Lena’s face, Kara span her around and pushed her up against the kitchen counters, pressing herself up against Lena and brushing her hair aside as she placed hot kisses up and down her neck and above the gauze on her shoulder.

 

\---

 

            Lena shut the hot water off and climbed out of the shower, leaving Kara spluttering as she shivered in the unexpected cold. “I’m still covered in soap!”

 

            “Well it’s bad for the environment,” Lena coolly replied, smirking slightly as she wrapped a towel around her, “hurry up.” The water turned back on, muffling Kara’s muttered curses, and Lena walked back into her room, quickly dressing, before going into the bathroom to rifle through her first-aid kit in search of some more antibacterial cream.

 

            “Here, let me,” Kara murmured, stood wrapped in one of Lena’s towels, her hair messily pulled up into a bun as water slid down her shoulders. She plucked the tube of cream out of Lena’s hands and brushed up her jumper, gently dabbing some of the cream onto the burn.

 

            Lena let out a hiss of pain at the feeling of Kara’s fingers on the tender wound, “fuck.”

 

            “Sorry,” Kara murmured, carrying on with the job anyway. Afterwards, she pressed a piece of gauze against it and loosely taped it in place for Lena. As Lena turned back around, she saw the slight frown on Kara’s face and raised her eyebrows slightly. “I really am sorry.”

 

            Rolling her eyes, Lena put everything away, before walking out of the bathroom with Kara in tow. “I told you, it’s fine. Although, I don’t think my ribs are going to thank me for putting through all of this. Who knew you weren’t as meek as you look.”

 

            Kara’s cheeks flamed bright red as she wandered around the kitchen, looking for her costume and underwear while Lena rifled around in the cupboard. She pulled out some more snacks and set them down on the counter, watching Kara as she quickly started to dress in the middle of the kitchen. Lena was only half joking as she teased Kara – she had been surprisingly gentle, which in itself wasn’t surprising to Lena, but after watching the display of strength last night, it had been a drastic change – but Lena’s ribs still ached from the gentle touch of Kara’s hands. Not that Lena was complaining though.

 

            Dressed back in her costume, Kara neatly folded the towel and Lena took it off her and nudged a bag of trail mix in her direction. Taking the towel to the laundry basket, along with all of her own laundry, Lena came back to see the bag of trail mix empty, and Kara stood nearby with a sheepish look on her face. Rolling her eyes, Lena pulled out a bottle of Gatorade and three peanut butter protein balls and handed them to Kara, who murmured her thanks and quickly ate and drank it all.

 

            “Um, so, I should-“

 

            “Yeah, I have paperwork to do,” Lena agreed.

 

            Kara hesitated, opening and closing her mouth a few times, “I’m sorry about the other week; you’re not rude … and I think that I got caught up in the idea of you that I made up in my head – the you that could be hidden underneath. I don’t want to change you, and you were right, this isn’t ... anything.”

 

            “I _was_ rude,” Lena laughed, “and I’m an asshole, and a bitch, and I’m sorry if that’s too much for you, but it’s just the way that I am.”

 

            “Well, for what it’s worth, the way that you are … there’s nothing wrong with that,” Kara murmured, and Lena gave her a tight smile. “Thank you, for … everything, and I’m sor-“

 

            “Say sorry one more time and I’m stealing some green kryptonite off your sister just so I can knock some sense into you,” Lena interrupted her, and Kara laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Give me a call if you ever feel like doing it again.”

 

            Kara nodded, giving Lena a shy smile, “okay.”


	18. Chapter 18

             Lena was spinning her office chair back and forth as she stared out at the view over the city. She had a business meeting in twenty minutes, and she was already dreading it as her ribs ached slightly and the burn on her shoulder itched. Swivelling back around to her desk, Lena ducked down to fish some painkillers out of her bag, before chasing them down with some water and picking up her phone. She had a text off Kara.

 

_Can I come over? I need to see you._

             Lena smirked slightly as she read the text, before typing out a quick reply.

 

_Tonight. 7._

 

             Turning her attention back to her lunch, Lena picked at the salad as she lazily scrawled notes on one of the reports sitting on the desk in front of her. With some motivation to get out of the office early and make it to one of Roulette’s earlier classes, Lena mustered as much enthusiasm as she could to make it through the rest of her day. She finished her salad quickly and quickly got through the rest of the report, before Jess quietly interrupted her to inform her that her next client was here. With a sigh, Lena plastered a polite smile on her face and climbed to her feet to welcome them.

 

\---

 

             “You’re holding back,” Roulette called out as Lena held her ground instead of pressing her attack. The truth was that her cracked ribs were hurting more than she liked to admit, and she was trying to take it easy by blocking Roulette’s kicks and punches, rather than attacking. “What’s wrong?”

 

             “Nothing,” Lena quickly replied.

 

             Roulette span and kicked out at Lena, aiming for her ribs, and Lena grabbed her ankle, over-extending her reach as she did so. She winced slightly as her ribs protested at the quick movement, and Lena bit back a groan, but it didn’t make a difference, because Roulette saw the spasm cross her face. “What did you do, kid?”

 

             Lena let go of her ankle, and her teacher was back on her own two feet, arms crossed and slightly raised eyebrows. Rolling her eyes, Lena mirrored her stance, “I didn’t do anything!”

 

             “Wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with Supergirl rampaging through the other night? The videos looked like she was fighting someone wearing a mask … any thoughts?”

 

             “None,” Lena shrugged, hiding another wince.

 

             Roulette snorted, reaching out and poking Lena in the ribs, “you might be a good liar, but your movements give you away. At least they’re not broken though, otherwise you’d be even more of an idiot for coming to class.”

 

             “I’m fine,” Lena insisted, settling back into a slight crouch as she stared at Roulette, who made no move to re-engage the fight, “oh come _on_ , Ronnie! It’s just a bit of bruising – you’ve given me worse.”

 

             “Go home, Lena.”

 

             Huffing, Lena stomped over to her bag, pulling out her jacket and shrugging it on, before slinging the duffel bag over one shoulder. She grimaced at Roulette as she took a sip of water, before throwing the bottle into her bag and fishing out her car keys. Roulette just laughed, giving her shoulder a slight shove, “I only do it because I care.”

 

             “You’re a pain in my ass, Ronnie,” Lena grumbled, “kind of makes me glad I never had a sister.”

 

             “See you next week, kid.”

 

             “Whatever.”

 

             Lena walked out the door, giving Roulette a quick wave before walking down the hallway and out into the early night. It was already dark, and nearing seven o’clock, which meant that Lena needed to be getting home now anyway or she’d miss Kara. First, she made a stop at the closest Chinese restaurant to her apartment, and ordered one of everything on the menu, almost staggering under the weight of the bags as she carried the lot to her car. Lena knew that Kara would eat all of it. Driving quickly through the city, watching the lights flash past in indistinguishable blurs, Lena made for her apartment as her stomach rumbled in anticipation of food, and her heart thudded in her chest at the thought of Kara’s touch. It hadn’t been a rough day at work, but Lena was looking forward to unwinding a little.

 

             Fumbling with her keys, Lena managed to fit it in the lock and balance all of her bags as she shouldered her way inside, kicking it shut behind her and blindly walking through the dark. By the digital clock on the microwave, it was almost seven, and as Lena dumped everything onto the counters, she decided on a quick shower before Kara got there. Finding the light switch, Lena flooded the apartment with light, before making for her bathroom and jumping under the hot water. She was as quick as possible, and dressed in a robe when there was a knock on the door. A slow smile spread across Lena’s face, and she walked down the hallway to open the door, revealing a nervous looking Kara, who was fiddling with her glasses.

 

             “Hi-“ Lena pulled her inside and slammed her up against the wall, cutting her off with a kiss before she could say anything else, and kicking the door shut. Kara was taken by surprise, and froze for a moment as Lena kissed her, before gripping her upper arms and pushing her back slightly. “Um, Lena, this is nice, but I came here to talk,” Kara mumbled against her lips.

 

             “Hm? I thought we agreed no talking,” Lena murmured, running her tongue along Kara’s bottom lip.

 

             Kara cleared her throat slightly, before pushing Lena away, a little more forcefully this time. “Lena …”

 

             “What, Kara?” Lena impatiently sighed, staring up at her with mild irritation on her face.

 

             “I could’ve killed you the other night,” Kara blurted out, and Lena raised her eyebrows slightly, “I could’ve killed you, and you’re just ignoring it, and I know you said that you didn’t want to talk yesterday, but I can’t just _not_ talk about it, because I could’ve … killed you.”

 

             Lena let out a snort of laughter, backing away from Kara and turning to walk down the hallway, “yeah, well, it wouldn’t be the first time someone’s tried that.”

 

             Kara let out a heavy sigh as she followed after Lena, “well it doesn’t make it any better! How can you be so blasé about it? If Alex hadn’t shown up with the kryptonite … I could’ve ripped you apart in a heartbeat, hallucinations or not.”

 

             “Well, you didn’t, so it doesn’t matter.”

 

             “It _does_ ,” Kara insisted.

 

             Lena huffed in frustration. “I said it _doesn’t matter_ , Kara,” Lena snapped, “now leave it alone.”

 

             Kara was silent while she watched Lena put a few of the white takeaway cartons in the microwave, and with a sigh, Kara quickly opened them all and heated them with quick laser beams which had the food steaming in a second. Blinking in surprise, Lena took the cartons out of the microwave and let Kara heat them up too, before fetching them both forks, and carrying an armful of boxes over to the sofa. Turning on the TV, Lena curled up on the sofa and turned to the crime channel while Kara followed after her. They were silent as they ate, exchanging cartons as they sampled the variety of foods, and once Lena was full, she got up to make them both tea while Kara demolished the rest. Sitting back down on the sofa, Lena concentrated on the TV while Kara finished her food, and Lena ignored the tension in Kara’s silence as she held back a torrent of words. As soon as she was finished, she couldn’t hold it back any longer though, and she turned to Lena.

 

             “You should stay away from me,” Kara told her, her eyes filled with concern behind the lenses of her glasses, “but I can’t stay away from you. When I found out what you were doing … I should’ve turned you in, but there was something about the fact that you were so desperate to help people, that you would break the _law_. I should’ve just done the right thing, and you wouldn’t be in danger, and I wouldn’t have almost _killed_ you because I was paranoid and hallucinating.”

 

             “Hallucinations don’t always make you do bad things,” Lena murmured, thinking about the silent spectre that haunted her. She couldn’t tell Kara about Jack – these weren’t hallucinations induced by a substance, they were the product of grief, and Lena didn’t know how to tell her that. It wouldn’t make a difference to Kara’s situation anyway, even if Lena _did_ want to tell her, which she didn’t. “And why didn’t you? You would’ve saved yourself a lot of trouble. You wouldn’t have been exposed to the silver kryptonite in the first place.”

 

             Kara was silent for a moment, before she shrugged and gave Lena a small smile. “I don’t know what it is but … I can’t explain it. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met.”

 

             “You’re one to talk,” Lena snorted, “you’re a fucking _alien_.”

 

             “Yes, well, I know _I’m_ different, but you … you don’t make any sense. You act like you don’t care about anyone, but you risk your life because you care about _everyone._ You use your company to try and do things by the book, but you put on a mask and break dozens of laws every night you’re out on the streets. You’re like a walking contradiction. It’s fascinating.”

 

             Lena stiffened as Kara spoke, her defences rising in anticipation of Kara probing into her private business. “Well, I’m glad to be another scientific subject for you. What, am I satisfying your alien curiosity? The girl who’s such a mess that she can’t be consistent in a single area of her life?”

 

             Kara let out a quiet laugh, “you’re always consistent with your snarky attitude, if that reassures you … and no, you’re not a science experiment. I’ve spent half of my life on earth, so I know humans, and I know you. I know you were more scared the other night than you’re willing to admit. And you’re lonely, which is the only reason why I’m here, but you won’t admit that either. You’re very secretive – you’re good at keeping them – and you won’t tell me what’s wrong, but I know there’s something. I can see it in your eyes, and it’s why you’re so adamant that we not talk when I come over. You don’t have friends; you don’t have anyone. Well … the woman who filled in for you while you tried to throw my sister off your trail, I’m not sure if she’s a friend, but you trust her a little.”

 

             “I don’t trust anyone,” Lena stiffly replied, “and stay out of my head. You don’t know _anything_ about me.”

 

             “Of course not,” Kara murmured.

 

             They were silent for a while, and then Kara got up and fetched something from her abandoned bag, her face drawn as she came back over with a small black box, which she handed to Lena. Her curiosity piqued, Lena took the box off her and removed the lid, taking in the kryptonite as it bathed her face a sickly green. Quickly closing it, Lena tossed the box onto the coffee table and looked at Kara in anger, “what the hell is this?”

 

             “I-I stole some from work,” Kara hesitantly told her. “If I ever try and hurt you again … I want you to have something that can save you.”

 

             “I don’t _want_ it,” Lena adamantly told her, “there’s a reason why I gave everything to your sister. I don’t want to be like …”

 

             “Like your brother?” Kara softly asked, and Lena scowled at her as she sank down lower in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry.”

 

             “Then don’t,” Lena snapped, climbing to her feet and carrying both of their empty cups to the kitchen. Dumping them in the sink, Lena exhaled sharply, closing her eyes as she braced herself on the edge of the kitchen counters. A light touch on her shoulder made her whirl around, a spark of anger in her eyes as she looked at Kara, “what? What do you _want?_ Why are you always here, wanting to talk and get all up in my personal life? It’s none of your fucking business. Do you think I need saving? Is that it? You think that you’re the hero who’s going to save everyone, and I’m some big challenge for you? The messed up Luthor who needs help before she goes off the rails like her brother.”

 

             Kara’s mouth fell open and her eyebrows furrowed together, creating a small crease between them. “Wha- no! Lena, I’m just trying to be nice. I’m trying to help-“

 

             “I don’t _need_ your help,” Lena said, running a hand through her hair as she clenched her teeth. “I just- I want-“

 

             “What?” Kara softly asked as Lena struggled to find the words, “what do you want?”

 

             Lena’s irritation flared up at Kara’s gentle tone, making Lena feel even more annoyed and frustrated at the way that Kara was treating her. “I need you to stop poking around in my personal life with your endless questions and your concern about what I do in my own time. I don’t give a shit if you’re concerned about killing me – stay out of my way – I don’t need you looking out for me like I’m a child, and I don’t need your shitty kryptonite to protect myself. Just take it and leave.”

 

             A flicker of hurt crossed Kara’s face as she stood there looking at Lena, but after a moment she nodded, slowly walking over to the coffee table and picking up her black box, before she fetched her bag, coat and shoes. Lena was busy staring at the abandoned cups in the sink, purposely avoiding Kara’s gaze as she pretended like she wasn’t there. She felt embarrassed by her outbreak, knowing that Kara was just trying to help, but angry that she kept trying to help when Lena had told her she didn’t want her to. She didn’t want to complicate things. She had made it clear that this wasn’t about feelings, and caring _was_ a feeling, and it was more than Lena wanted from Kara.

 

             “You know, you wouldn’t be so lonely if you didn’t push away people who tried to help you,” Kara murmured, “you might think you’re brave with a mask on, but underneath it you’re a coward, and I feel sorry for you.”

 

             Lena grit her teeth and bit back an angry retort, “goodbye, Kara.”


	19. Chapter 19

            Lena didn’t hear from Kara for a month, except for once, a week after they had fought, when a black box showed up at Lena’s office, containing the green kryptonite. She had been tempted to send it back to Kara’s apartment, but Lena had decided to keep it in the end, with the intention of reverse engineering it so that she would be able to make sure that it could never affect Kara again. She was adamant that she wouldn’t turn into her brother, and seeing all of the weapons that he’d created, so similar to her own creations, Lena had vowed never to use it. She was also waiting for the other shoe to drop with her brother, and his threat hung over her head, leaving Lena feeling paranoid at times. The only places she went lately were the office, her apartment or Roulette’s dojo, and she was starting to be even more cautious when she was out at night. Lex would’ve expected her to at least make an attempt on Supergirl’s life by now, which meant that he knew she wasn’t going to kill her, and he would be sending someone after her.

 

            She was sitting at her workbench, shards of green kryptonite surrounding her and one piece under a microscope as she observed the structure of it. She’d tried to recreate the molecular structure, whilst trying to change a component of it, half a dozen times over the past three weeks, but each time it had done nothing to it. She wasn’t sure if it would’ve had adverse affects on Kara, but all of her scans had shown the same levels of kryptonite coming off it, so she assumed nothing had changed. It was late by the time that she finally made a breakthrough … but the wrong kind. She didn’t realise what she’d done at first, but she picked the green kryptonite up and felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her – she’d been working for hours, and the feeling had been creeping up on her as she worked – and nothing happened, so she tossed the small fragment onto the worktable. With a frustrated sigh, Lena stripped off the gloves she was wearing and tossed them onto the bench too, and grimaced as she reached for one of the bigger chunks of the new substance she had tried to create, and she felt a bigger wave of exhaustion wash over her. Lena sagged on the stool, feeling like she was about to pass out, and she exhaled sharply as she slumped forward, dropping the kryptonite as a feeling of nausea rolled over her. Climbing off the stool, Lena staggered backwards a few steps, struggling to stay on her feet, but her curiosity got the better of her, and she took a tentative step forward, reaching out for another shard of the kryptonite. The weak feeling intensified, and she grabbed for one of the gloves, slipping it on and picking up a small chunk of the rock.

 

            Keeping the kryptonite as far away from her as she could, Lena dumped it into the black box Kara had given it to her in and stripped off the glove again. Picking up the box, she spared just enough time to slip on her coat and some boots, before she grabbed her keys and phone. The apartment door clicked shut behind her and she hurried towards the elevator with the black box in tow. In the sub-level garage, Lena walked over to her motorbike and shoved the box into the compartment beneath the seat, before quickly dialling Kara’s phone.

 

_“Lena? It’s two o’clock in the morning, is everything okay?”_

 

            “I did something,” Lena breathlessly explained, swinging a leg over the bike as she kept the phone pressed to her ear and tried to balance the helmet in her lap. “I’m coming to yours now.”

 

_“Wha-“_

 

            Lena didn’t wait to find out what she was going to say, before she hung up the phone, slid it into her pocket and jammed the helmet onto her head. The bike roared to life beneath her and she was soon racing out of the garage with a loud screech as the tires span. Trying her best not to speed in her rush to get to Kara’s, Lena was distracted by the thought of what she’d created. She still felt weak, and it might not have been the _best_ idea to ride her bike, but it would be quicker than driving a car, and she was hoping the cool air would help perk her up. It did work, to some extent, but not enough to make her aware of the van that was following her. She didn’t see it until they got too close, and the headlights were reflecting in her tiny wing mirrors and blinding her, and they still didn’t stop. She was still swearing and cursing at them when she was hit by the car and sent flying off her bike. Luckily she had her helmet on, because she skidded and rolled to a stop on the road, her hands grazed and bloody and her clothes torn from the gravel. Her bike had deviated from its straight line and smashed into the side of a car parked on the side of the road, and Lena groaned as she lay there staring at it through the lens of her helmet. Her breathing was shallow, and while she thought she was fine, she was in shock. She couldn’t move.

 

            She didn’t move until rough hands dragged her to her feet, and pulled her helmet off. Staring into the face of the man who was holding her upright, Lena squinted, feeling dizzy from the force of her landing and still drained from the weird form of kryptonite she had created. He roughly shoved her in the direction of the van, and Lena feebly struggled, spitting a mouthful of blood in his face from where she’d bitten her tongue on impact with the road. He turned and whacked her across the right side of her face, hitting her so hard that her face felt numb as she stumbled. And then she was fighting and struggling as he tried to drag her to the van, and despite her attempts to fight him off, she wasn’t strong enough. Another man was in the back of the van, and she was quickly gagged and bound, and then knocked out when she wouldn’t stop trying to fight them off. The last thing she remembered was pain flaring across the side of her face.

 

\---

 

            Lena jerked back to consciousness, coughing and spluttering from the faceful of water that had woken her. It was dark wherever she was being kept, and she couldn’t even make out the shadowy figure stood before her, let alone _where_ she was. The dark was so suffocating that she almost felt claustrophobic – not scared, because she lived in the shadows - and not knowing how trapped she was made her panic slightly.

 

            “Miss Luthor, you’re awake,” a deep voice said from in front of her. She pulled at the ropes binding her hands behind her back, and tying her to the chair, and she groaned at the effort. “Save your strength,” the man said, “there’s no use trying to get free.”

 

            “What the fuck do you want?” Lena snarled, struggling against the ropes anyway. The coarse weave bit into her skin, and she knew that if she struggled too much, she was end up rubbing her skin raw. She felt hollow inside, and attributed it to the after effects of the kryptonite, feeling weaker than usual and knowing that she wouldn’t be able to free herself. With a frustrated sigh, Lena clenched her teeth and stopped struggling, feeling the robes around her wrists and ankles and trying to keep her breathing and heartbeat slow.

 

            The man was silent for a few moments, “I’m here to pass on a message from your brother.”

 

            “Well _clearly_ ,” Lena huffed, her patience wearing thin. There was no other reason to kidnap her, and she knew he’d come for her eventually, and maybe if she hadn’t been fooling around with kryptonite, she might’ve been able to fight the man off when he’d taken her. “Get on with it then.”

 

            “Oh no, we have to wait a little while,” the man said, sounding slightly amused, “we’re still waiting on someone.”

 

            “Tell my brother I don’t want any part in his plans,” Lena coolly told the man.

 

            He laughed, and the sound of slow heavy footsteps let her know that he was pacing back and forth before her. He was enjoying this. “Well, you see, you don’t really have a choice. Now, I’m not sure you understand how threats work but-“

 

            “Don’t think to belittle me,” Lena sharply interrupted him, “you forget who you’re talking to. I was raised on threats and blackmail. So here’s one for you; either you let me go right now, or I’ll find everyone you love, and I’ll not only destroy your life _beyond_ repair, but also all of their lives. And trust me, you have no idea just how far I’ll go.”

 

            “You’re not as good at threats as your brother,” the man said, “so I think I’ll pass on the offer. Now, you have a job to do.”

 

            “I’m not doing shit,” Lena spat at him.

 

            He just laughed and continued pacing. The sound of his footsteps were maddening as the silence dragged on, and Lena felt her blood boiling as she seethed in the dark. Her mind was running over the endless possibilities of who it could be; what kind of man would her brother have hired for this? It would have to be someone strong, and someone desperate, but also smart enough to carry out Lex’s plans. Lena wasn’t familiar her brother’s list of shady criminal associates – she tried to stay away from it all, and besides, she had only been a teenager and wasn’t involved in any of the drama – and she had no clue who it could’ve been. It wasn’t surprising that he had his minions in prison to do his bidding though.

 

            Lena didn’t know how long they sat there in the dark, but she reckoned it had to be at least an hour, which got her wondering about how long she had been there in the first place. She could’ve been knocked out for a whole day, as far as she knew, and no one would even notice she was gone. Jess would assume that she had blown off work, and would cancel her appointments; Lillian wouldn’t care at all; Roulette would assume that Lena was busy, and Kara … she would assume that Lena was being her usual finicky self, and was being a coward, as she had so nicely put it. No one would come for her. Wallowing in her misery and discomfort, Lena tried to think of a way out, but it was hopeless. She would just have to wait and see who they were waiting for. She reckoned it was about the hour mark when there was a loud bang as something landed heavily above them. Metal rang at the impact, and it wasn’t too far above Lena’s head, which made her question where she was again. “Ah! Our guest of honour has arrived,” the man said, and a second later, there was a sound of static, before he spoke into what Lena assumed was a walkie talkie, “Corben, deal with our guest please.”

 

            There was scuffling outside, and shouts, and Lena sat there in silence, feeling even more tense as she waited to find out what was happening. After some more loud banging, a beam of light split the dark and Lena winced, ducking her head down as she was blinded. From the split second of light, Lena managed to piece together enough information to realise that she was being kept in a shipping container. Down by the docks, if the salty air that rushed into the stifling container was anything to go by.

 

            “Ah, there she is,” the man said, and Lena blinked back tears as her eyes watered from the intense brightness emanating from the other end. A hulking man was dragging in a barely conscious person … by a red cape. “Supergirl. Our resident hero.”

 

            “Let her go,” Lena said in a low voice, realising what she was here for; Lex wanted her to kill Kara. Right now.

 

            The bigger man – Corben – walked forward, dragging Kara into the container, and someone out side shut it, but not before throwing in something that dimly glowed green. Kryptonite. Kara was bound with cuffs made from it, and the rest was just as a precaution to keep her weak. She was Lena’s one chance to escape and now they were fucked. Or maybe not, because the other man – the one who had been with Lena the whole time – he took a step towards her, and Lena rocked herself backwards and the forwards, until she managed to get enough momentum to climb to her feet. Spinning around, she caught him with the chair, and he banged into the side of the container, cursing as he righted himself. There was an audible click and Lena froze as she made out the outline of a gun in the dim green light.

 

            Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lena stood completely still, but the man called Corben dropped Kara to the ground and made for her. He sent Lena sprawling backwards, the chain breaking her fall and making it a thousand times more painful as the wood bit into her skin, surely leaving bruises, and Lena whacked her head on the floor. Feeling the air rush out of her lungs, Lena struggled to get to her knees, struggling due to the fact that she was still strapped to the chair, and she looked up just in time to see the shadow of a fist coming towards her. She was knocked around for a few moments, before the other man sighed.

 

            “Enough. The boss doesn’t want her looking too ugly. That face is far too pretty to permanently mess up, besides, you’ll cooperate, won’t you, Miss Luthor?”

 

            “Fuck you,” Lena spat out, her split lip filling her mouth with blood, which she spat at the man who was holding her up by her hair. The man sighed and walked over to her, handing Corben a sharp knife, the edge glinting green in the light, and Lena swallowed the lump in her throat. She let out a shaky breath as the man cut her feet free and then her wrists, instead of slitting her throat, and Lena started rubbing her wrists to get the circulation flowing again. Kara made a feeble sound from the other edge of the container and Lena glanced over at her in concern, before she threw herself at the slender man, tackling him to the ground and then rolling as Corben slashed down with the knife, burying it in the smaller man’s shoulder as Lena used him as a shield. There was cursing and swearing all around and Lena kicked out Corben’s knees, sending him staggering forward. She was quickly on her feet, and running over to Kara, fumbling with the cuffs as she tried to pry them off. Kara wasn’t moving. If she’d left her behind, she knew that she could’ve escaped, but she couldn’t just leave her. They would kill her.

 

            A line of fire tore across Lena’s back, and she looked at the knife as it clattered to the floor of the container, the edge slick with blood – hers and the other mans – and Lena bit back a hiss of pain as she tried to drag Kara over to the locked doors. She knew it was hopeless though, the rusted metal was tightly shut and she wouldn’t be able to open it from the inside.

 

            “Ah, ah, I don’t think so,” the short man said, and he pulled his gun out again, pointing it at Lena, “now, Miss Luthor, if you’ll please make quick work of this, we’ll all be on our way.”

 

            “Like hell I will,” Lena snarled, and Corben walked over and grabbed her, dragging her over to the other man. He laughed as he loomed over her, running a finger along her cheekbone, and Lena tried to jerk her head out of his reach. A moment later, the smooth metal of a gun was placed into her hands and Lena quickly looked down, making sure she wasn’t mistaken. She quickly unloaded the magazine, taking in the fully loaded clip, glowing with green bullets. Kryptonite bullets, for Kara. Lena slipped it back inside, and she held the gun back out to the man. “I’m not going to kill her.”

 

            “Oh, I think you will.”

 

            “Whatever I am, I’m not a murderer,” Lena stiffly replied, “you’ll have to kill me first.”

 

            The man laughed, and a gun was pressed against Lena’s temple, the metal cold against her sweaty forehead as the tiny space of the container turned stifling hot with the four bodies crammed into it. “You don’t want to push me, Miss Luthor, because I can assure you that your brother has given me _very_ clear instructions.”

 

            “Well do it,” Lena hissed, and the gun was pressed back into her hand.

 

            “Last chance, ma’am.”

 

            Lena raised the gun, and her eyes darted over to Kara, who was crouched in the middle of the chunks of kryptonite, swaying on her knees as she stared at Lena through half-lidded eyes. She turned to the side, turning her head so that she was staring at Lena, and she nodded slowly. Lena swallowed the lump in her throat, and her hands shook as she pointed the gun at Kara. Letting out a shuddering breath, she shot her, hoping that her aim was true in the dim light. The sound of the gun firing was loud in the contained space, and Lena winced, but smiled as she saw that she had hit her target, and the cuffs around Kara’s wrists were broken in half. Turning, Lena put two bullets in the man in front of her, watching as his face turned white with shock. Even if the kryptonite wouldn’t kill him, it would still injure him, but her mouth was a grim line when she realised he was wearing a bulletproof vest, and the bullets in his stomach would leave little more than bruises and had only knocked the wind out of him.

 

            Lena launched herself at the bigger man, catching him around the waist and slamming him into the side of the container. “Get us out of here,” Lena shouted over her shoulder at Kara. She turned her attention back to Corben, and he pushed her backwards, sending her sprawling to the floor, and he slowly stepped on her chest, adding just enough pressure for her to wriggle in pain, but not enough to cause any permanent damage.

 

            “I can’t!” Kara’s panicked shout came back from in between the weak blows she rained down on the metal. “I’m not strong enough.” Her voice sounded feeble, and Lena could only just see her as she struggled to get out from under Corben, and Kara was huddled in the corner, shaking as she tried to stay conscious and free herself from the kryptonite cuffs around her ankles. She looked like she was about to pass out.

 

            The sound of metal groaning reached Lena’s ears, and a moment later, the container was filled with bright sunlight that made everyone wince. Lena kept her eyes squeezed shut, but when she still heard the gunshot and felt the weight of Corben disappear as he stumbled backwards. She didn’t look to see if he was dead. Coughing and groaning, Lena rolled over onto her stomach and pushed herself to her knees.

 

            Her eyes streamed as she looked up at the sound of a familiar voice coming from her left, and she winced as she tried to make out the shadowy figure in the container with her. “Mom?”

 

            “I need you to pass a message along to my son,” Lillian said to the other man – the alive one, “tell him to leave his sister out of this; I still need her.”

 

            “Mom?”

 

            Lena was roughly dragged to her feet, and she saw the small silver gun in her mom’s other hand as Lillian started dragging her towards the container. It was only early in the morning, and Lena blinked in surprise as Lillian dragged her outside, trying to catch her bearings. As her mom tried to keep dragging her, Lena dug her heels in, causing Lillian to stop and turn around. “You have two seconds to move your ass, or I’ll leave you here.”

 

            “What the hell are you doing?” Lena exclaimed, “y-you just _killed_ a man.”

 

            Lillian let out an exasperated sigh, “really, Lena? You want to have this discussion _now_?”

 

            “Yes!” Lena shouted, pulling herself out of Lillian’s grip. She was sweaty and dirty, exhausted and in pain, and she could barely manage to keep herself on her feet. “How did you find me?”

 

            “Your brother has his spies, and I have mine,” Lillian brusquely replied, “one of them informed me he’d given orders to kidnap you. I assume this was about you enacting his plans for revenge against the Kryptonians?”

 

            Lena spluttered as she looked at Lillian in shock, “you _knew_ about that?”

 

            “Of course I did,” Lillian scoffed, “but I need you to run the business and keep the image up. I can’t have _two_ children in prison. He’ll have to sort this out himself. One of his other cronies can finish the job for him. Now come on, you’re a mess and you have a conference at the end of the week.”

 

            “I’m not _leaving_ her,” Lena protested, tearing herself out of Lillian’s grip as she tried to drag Lena with her as she started walking.

 

            Huffing, Lillian turned to look at her, a look of disgust on her face, “really, Lena, you want to _help_ her? She’s not even a person. Leave her, you have bigger things to worry about. She’s better off dead.”

 

            Lena ignored her and turned around, stumbling back towards the container while Lillian shouted after her. She slipped back into the dimly lit container and walked over to Kara, who was breathing shallowly and looked sickeningly green in the light of the kryptonite. Reaching for the abandoned knife, Lena gently began prying them off Kara’s wrists, and then her ankles, and she tossed them as far away as possible, before trying to lift Kara. She was heavy – too heavy for Lena to lift – and so Lena had to loop one arm around her shoulder and prop Kara up as much as possible. The two of them staggered out of the container as if they were drunk, and Kara was mumbling unintelligible things in a different language. The van that they’d kidnapped Lena in was parked at the edge of the yard full of containers, and Lena helped Kara into the back, before she climbed into the driver’s seat. The sound of seagulls screeching and the sound of water lapping against the edge of the docks reached her ears, and Lena gazed around, trying to find out where they were. She wagered that they were near where her old warehouse had been, which meant that she wasn’t too far away from her safe house. The key was in the ignition, and Lena gunned the van to life and put her foot on the accelerator, leaving the container behind them.

 

\---

 

            Kara was stretched out of the sofa in the tiny apartment, her skin pale and the red and blue costume looking out of place in the monochrome sparsely decorated room. There was nothing personal here to tie Lena to the place, just a sofa, desk with her computers, and her equipment. She owned the entire building, which was very rundown factory that had been turned into apartments, but were completely unsuitable for living in. Instead of renovating it, Lena used it as her stop of point between the warehouse and her apartment, but after the fire, it had been doubling as her base of operations too. It was the best place she could think to bring Kara, where neither of them would garner any unwanted attention.

 

            Kara had fallen unconscious in the back of the van, and Lena had struggled to get her up three flights of creaky and rickety stairs, but she’d finally managed to get her onto the sofa, where she had remained ever since. Lena had quickly driven the van a few blocks away, before coming back in and showering. Her clothes were bloody, torn and filthy, and she was standing before the mirror with a towel wrapped around her as she stared at her reflection. The blood on her porcelain back looked black, and her hand shook as she reached around to touch it. Looking down at her fingertips, taking in the dark blood staining them, Lena clenched her teeth. The knife had left a shallow line across her back – not deep enough to warrant stitches – but it was still bleeding, and the quickly applied some antibacterial cream to it, and her grazed palms, before she bandaged it and slipped into some clean clothes. Once she was clean and dressed, she looked marginally better, with her pale skin mottled with black and blue bruises covered, and her face not looking quite as battered.

 

            Running a hand through her wet, tangled hair, Lena made for the kitchen and made herself some strong coffee. She wished she had alcohol there, but she always had to drive back to her apartment from the factory, which meant that she had to be sober. Lena was almost tempted to make a quick trip to the nearest convenience store, but decided that it was better if she wasn’t trashed when Kara woke up; she would want to talk, and Lena was cranky enough as it was. Fetching her laptop, Lena sat down on the floor, leaning back against the sofa and quickly glancing at Kara, before she began researching the name ‘Corben’ in the hopes that she would be able to find out more about what she was up against with her brother. Despite her mother’s message, she doubted that Lex would stop. He had dirt on Lena, and why would he waste the opportunity to use it to get what he wanted?

 

            She was looking at a profile for an ex-military man with several arrest warrants out for him, and was was almost completely sure that this was the man her mom had killed. Hacking into as many databases as possible, Lena managed to find records of his financial transactions, his travel history, and information of his personal life. She was in the middle of tracing a large deposit into his account back to an account in the Cayman Islands when Kara stirred. Lena quickly turned to look at her, setting her laptop aside and draining her coffee before climbing to her feet. She bit back a wince, aching all over, and bent over Kara, who shot up and grabbed her by the front of her shirt.

 

            “Sorry,” Lena muttered, “didn’t mean to startle you.”

 

            Kara’s breathing had sped up and she blinked in confusion as she looked at Lena, before slowly releasing her and settling back down on the pillows. “Sorry.”

 

            “Do you need anything? Food? Water? Does kryptonite effects heal by itself or do you need painkillers or something?”

 

            “Food and water, please,” Kara murmured, relaxing slightly as she watched Lena turn and walk towards the small kitchen and busy herself. She grabbed as many boxes of energy bars, trail mix and dried fruits and carried them all over to the sofa, where she dumped them in Kara’s lap.

 

            Lena hesitated as she looked down at Kara, “um, how hungry are you? Should I … I don’t know, order pizza?”

 

            “It’s fine, I’ll leave in a minute.”

 

            “I’m not kicking you out,” Lena snorted, rolling her eyes, “but if you need food then I’m ordering food, so yes or no?”

 

            Kara hesitated for a second, halfway through opening a box of muesli bars, and gave Lena a sheepish smile, “if you don’t mind. I’ll reimburse you, I promise.”

 

            “I don’t want your money,” Lena mumbled, before going to fetch her phone and ordering five large cheese pizzas, unsure of how much Kara would need to eat. Even with the amount of exercise Lena did, she could only eat half a large pizza in one sitting, but with the amount that Kara had eaten under the effects of kryptonite last time, Lena didn’t want to starve her. As a precaution, she ordered three serves of brownies, three loaves of garlic bread, and a few more sides.

 

            Hanging up the phone, she went to sit back down on the floor, but Kara quickly shifted her booted feet to make some room, and Lena sat down on the sofa, reaching down to pick up her laptop. They were both silent, while Lena kept tracing the digital trail of Corben’s money, and Kara quickly made her way through all of the food Lena had given her. Kara was brushing a few crumbs off the front of her suit when she cleared her throat to get Lena’s attention. “Lena?” she asked in a small voice, and Lena looked at her in surprise. “I’m sorry … about the other week.”

 

            The muscles in Lena’s jaw worked as she glanced back at her laptop screen, “don’t be, you were just being honest with your feelings.”

 

            “No, I wasn’t,” Kara said, her throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed thickly, “I, uh, I was rude and upset and I was wrong to call you a coward.”

 

            Lena let out a cold laugh, “no, I don’t think that you were.”

 

            “I was,” Kara insisted, “and I’m sorry for being so condescending and belittling. I- you don’t need me to save you, _you_ saved _me_. If you didn’t, they would’ve …”

 

            “Why were you there?” Lena quietly asked.

 

            Kara was silent as she turned the words over in her head before speaking, “you called, and you didn’t show up. The cops … they found your bike, and they found the kryptonite. Well, I don’t know what it is, it doesn’t work on me, but it made Alex and everyone else really … weak? I guess that’s what you were coming to see me about? Well, Alex covered it all up and said it was a federal investigation with the FBI, but we didn’t know where you were. I … I can hear heartbeats. Everyone has a different one, and if it’s someone I’m attached too … I can focus and I can distinguish it from the others. I found you down by the docks.”

 

            Lena shifted uncomfortably in her seat; she felt odd knowing that Kara felt attached to her, even though she hadn’t said what kind of attachment it was. Any kind of attachment was unusual to Lena, because she had few people who cared about her with no ulterior motives. Only Jack, who was dead, and Roulette, but that was a strange experience in itself, and was only born out of years of martial arts training at her dojo, and not really and kind of friendship outside of the building. “Why?”

 

            “It’s just part of the powers that I-“

 

            “No, why are you attached?”

 

            “Oh,” Kara murmured, before she fell silent. Lena didn’t think she was going to say anything else, but then a few moments later Lena looked up, and saw Kara staring at her with a slight frown, “I don’t know, it’s … I was thirteen when my planet was destroyed. My parents knew it was going to happen, and they did nothing. They just _let_ it happen. So I was stuck in a pod, and I was sent after my cousin to raise him. I was _thirteen,_ and I had the fate of an infant resting in _my_ hands. I couldn’t even look after myself, let alone a baby, and I was _terrified_. I watched Krypton explode, and then I got stuck in a place called the Phantom Zone. I was suspended there for years, in a tiny pod, until I got free and I came to earth. My cousin … he was fully grown then. I didn’t have a baby to raise, and I was still a thirteen year old girl … and he gave me away. He didn’t want to raise a child – he was probably going through what I went through – but he was an adult and he gave me _away_. He didn’t know me, and I didn’t know him, but I was ready to throw my _entire_ childhood away to raise him on a foreign planet, with a language that was maybe tenth of the list of languages I spoke. I didn’t … I didn’t speak English very well when I got here, and it was all so different, and I was adopted by the Danvers. I had a new sister, but I was the weird girl who could rip a door of its hinges if she wasn’t careful. I didn’t have powers on Krypton, and it was … overwhelming. I hid it. I hid it for _years_ , and I tried to fit in and be normal, and I learnt English and I tried to move on, but losing my entire family … that’s not something that you can get over. I remember _so much_ from back home, and it hurt. And Alex tries – she tries so hard – to make me feel safe and loved and at home, but she doesn’t know what it’s like to have parents like mine. Kryptonians aren’t exactly _loving_ , and and my parents were liars and they doomed us all, and then … there’s you.”

 

            “And?”

 

            “And you’re suffering, and you know what it’s like to have a family who’s done bad things, and you know what it’s like to be adopted and still feel like an outsider even thought you share their name and their house. I’ll admit, Eliza – my adoptive mother – was so loving and welcoming, and that was a whole lot different from my parents, even though I know they loved me in their own way, but I remember them not having much time for me or being affectionate, and I know you have that with your mom. And then you don’t have superpowers, but you have a good heart, and you save people with it. It doesn’t matter that I can fly and you can’t, it’s just … you put on the mask anyway. You don’t fit in and you don’t have anyone, but you do the best that you can with what you’re given, and it’s what I’m trying to do. So I met you, and you were stubborn and maybe a bit arrogant, and maybe I have been too, which is why we argue all the time, but you’re the only person who’s ever come even remotely close to feeling all the things that I’ve felt. Not even my cousin, who shares my powers, can relate to most of it. We’re two sides of the same coin … in many different things.”

 

            There was a ringing noise, and Lena sighed, realising that it was the delivery person, and she gave Kara a grim look before climbing to her feet. “I’ll get it. You can shower if you want.”

 

            Kara nodded, and Lena fished some money out of a small safe, before letting herself out of the apartment and walking downstairs. She handed the delivery girl all of the money, telling her to keep the change, and grabbed the stack of boxes and balanced the paper bags on top, before walking back over to the stairs and heading back up to the apartment. Kara was stepping out of the bathroom, wearing a spare set of Lena’s clothes, which were very tight on her – not that Lena was complaining as she sneaked a peek as she set everything down on the floor – and Kara walked over to the floor to join her. Fetching them both something to drink, Lena sat across from Kara and pulled a slice of pizza out of the box. She took a small bite, trying to think of something to say. The moment had been ruined by the arrival of their food, but she knew that she couldn’t just ignore it. It had been personal, and it clearly still hurt Kara deeply, even after all this time.

 

            “I didn’t know about … all of that,” Lena said, cringing slightly at the emotionless tone, and she cleared her throat slightly, “I’m sorry about your family. I mean, I can’t begin to imagine everything you’ve been through, but … I think perhaps I can understand some of it. I think that maybe we have more in common than I thought.”

 

            Kara gave her a small smile as she nodded, taking a big bite of pizza and chewing quickly. “Your mom …”

 

            “I don’t know,” Lena sighed, running a hand through her awry curls, “she always has her own agenda. She said she needs me to run the company and keep up the family image. I guess that’s that.”

 

            “Oh,” Kara murmured, “and your brother?”

 

            Lena let out a snort of laughter, “I knew he’d try _something_ , and it’s not the first time I’ve been kidnapped, so …”

 

            “ _Not_ ,” Kara echoed, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

 

            Tilting her head to the side, Lena gave Kara a wry smile, “when your family owns a billion-dollar company, and has ties with _many_ major criminals … they make a few enemies. My dad … he didn’t even pay the ransom the first time, he said the dirt wasn’t good enough to warrant that much money. The FBI had to come and rescue me.”

 

            Kara looked horrified as she stared at Lena, who laughed as she sprawled out on the floor, leaning back on her elbows as she smirked at Kara. “You’re joking.”

 

            “Nope,” Lena said, shrugging slightly as she took another bite of her pizza. “I mean, it’s fine though. I’m _clearly_ fine.” At the wary look on Kara’s face, Lena rolled her eyes, “I’m joking, Kara.”

 

            “Oh.”

 

            “I appreciate you sharing your past with me, but I hope you can understand when I say that I’m not in a place to talk about my own,” Lena quietly told her.

 

            With a small, warm smile, Kara nodded, “it’s okay. I know you don’t like … _this_. I shouldn’t have used that against you, and I’m sorry if you thought that I was pushing you. I know I can be a bit overbearing sometimes, but I’m trying to rein it in a bit. Alex says I’ve really taken on the whole superhero complex since putting on the cape; I have to save everyone. I’m still trying to balance it all and figure out where Kara Danvers ends and Supergirl starts. When I said I wanted to help you, I didn’t mean that I thought you needed to be saved, I meant that I wanted us to work together on the streets, for both of our benefits. You have better software than the D.E.O. – something that’s bothering Winn – and you have your own business … and well, I can fly, and shoot lasers.”

 

            “You want us to team up?” Lena asked, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise as her slice of pizza hovered in mid-air.

 

            “Just … consider it … maybe,” Kara told her with a small smile, and Lena nodded, returning the smile slightly.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m on holiday so I had to write this on my iPhone lmao so please excuse me if there are more errors than usual

            Lena settled back against the pillows as she tried to slow her breathing back down. Her heart was thudding in her ears, and she could hear Kara’s less laboured breathing beside her and turned to look at her. Blonde curls were splayed out across the pillow, and her eyelashes gently fluttered as she kept her eyes closed, drawing in shaky breaths through slightly parted lips. “You should leave soon,” Lena murmured, and Kara’s eyes flew open as she turned to look at Lena. “Your sister will be worried about you.”

 

            “Oh, shoot! Alex!” Kara exclaimed, the sheets rustling as she pushed herself up onto her elbows, running one hand through her curls. “I told her I was safe, but she’s probably been to my apartment already.”

 

            “I’m sure she trusts you.”

 

            “Yeah, she does,” Kara said, settling back down on the pillows. There was an alert on Lena’s tablet, and she reached over to pick it up off the bedside table. Tapping on the security app, she muttered a curse as she took in the sight of a familiar person standing outside her door.

 

            Holding the tablet out to Kara, Lena raised her eyebrows. “You didn’t happen to tell her you were here, did you?”

 

            “Crap!” Kara exclaimed, shooting out of bed, quickly followed by Lena, who grabbed a robe from the back of her bathroom door and belted around her waist. Kara was looking for her underwear in the clothes strewn all around the room, but Lena grabbed her by the arm and propelled her towards the bedroom door. “My underwear!” Kara protested.

 

            “There’s no time!” Lena hissed, “you’ll just have to be grateful that I made you a new suit so you don’t have to risk up skirt photos.”

 

            She grabbed a red boot and threw it at Kara, before fetching the other and shoving it into Kara’s arms, along with the suit and cape, and then shoved her out onto the balcony. Shrugging apologetically at the startled and stark naked alien standing on her balcony, Lena shut the door and hurried down her hallway. She tried to keep a neutral expression as she opened the door up to Alex, who was flanked by James and Lucy, as usual, and Lena arched an eyebrow slightly.

 

            “Agent Danvers,” Lena greeted her, “to what do I owe this pleasure?”

 

            “Miss Luthor,” Alex said with a quick nod, “I’m going to need you to come with us.”

 

            Lena suppressed an eye roll but let out a quiet, exasperated sigh. “Am I allowed a few minutes to put some clothes on?”

 

            At a nod from Alex, Lena turned around and walked down the hallway, leaving Alex to follow her with one hand casually on the pommel of her gun. Lena wondered where the other girl thought she was going to run off too - they were on the top floor of the building. As Lena walked into her bedroom, she kept her face blank as she took in the sight of the rumpled bedsheets and the strewn clothes, knowing that Alex was putting the clues together.

 

            “Sorry, I didn’t realise you had ... guests.”

 

            “They’re gone,” Lena briskly replied, walking into her closet and grabbing the first thing she could find. A few moments later, a phone started ringing in her apartment, and Lena’s eyes widened as she listened to the ringtone. It wasn’t hers.

 

            She was pulling a sweater on when Alex opened the door and held the phone up. “Mind telling me why you have my sister’s phone?”

 

            Lena casually shrugged, “she left it here when she left after ... everything that happened.”

 

            “Oh. I haven’t heard from her.”

 

            “Well, I can’t help you there,” Lena said, pulling a pair of shoes on while she watched Alex hang up her own phone - she’d been trying to call Kara.

 

            A few moments later, there was a tap on Lena’s balcony door, and she Alex walked over, knowing it could only be one person. Kara gave her sister a bright smile as Alex drew the curtain back, if looking a little confused. “Kara!” Alex exclaimed in relief, “I was calling you, but you left your phone here.”

 

            “I know! I heard my ringtone so I came to get it,” Kara said, “I was so drained when I left that I completely forgot to take it with me. Sorry for disrupting you, Miss Luthor.”

 

            Lena gave her a slight nod, remaining distant and aloof, and grabbed a coat from her rack and slipped it on while she tensely listened to the two girls talk. Buttoning up her coat, she grabbed her phone from the bedside counter and slipped it into her pocket. “Excuse me, Agent Danvers, could we hurry this along?”

 

            Both girls turned to look at her and Kara’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “what’s happening?”

 

            “I’d like to know that too,” Lena curtly replied, “am I under arrest or not?”

 

            Alex shifted slightly and gently cleared her throat, “well, no, but last night your bike was found with a substance that could be seen as a weapon of terrorism that can be used against humanity. We’d like to ask you a few questions about it at the D.E.O.”

 

            “Well I have a business to run, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to get this over and done with. There’s some data in my office that I think will help answer some of your questions.”

 

            “Agent Olsen is already taking your electronics into our custody,” Alex replied, and Lena’s eyes widened and she ground her teeth together in anger.

 

            Spluttering in indignation, she frowned at Alex, “if I’m not under arrest then you don’t have any right to take my belongings.”

 

            “We have probable cause that it contained vital information pertaining to the safety of our nation, and potentially the entire world, so yes, I do have the right,” Alex coolly replied.

 

            Letting out a quiet groan, Kara put her head in her hand, “Alex, are you serious?”

 

            “Stay out of this, Kara, it’s going nothing to do with Supergirl or the Science division. You’ll just end up making it more difficult than it needs to be, and Miss Luthor isn’t in any trouble, as long as she cooperates,” Alex said, giving her sister a pleading look.

 

            Lena gave Kara a tiny nod, before she looked at Alex, “should I call my lawyer?”

 

            “If you’d like to, but we won’t be questioning you, as per se, but we’ll need you to explain a few things. Your lawyer won’t be permitted into the building you’ll be in though, because it’s a black site, so it might make it easier if you just let us get straight into it.”

 

            Lena nodded again, and set off past Alex and Kara, leaving the latter to walk back out onto the balcony and shoot off into the sky. Alex followed after Lena, and the two of them, and the other two agents, were soon bundled into the elevator, too cramped for anyone’s comfort, and racing down to the ground floor. For what felt like the hundredth time, Lena was ushered into the back of a car and driven to the D.E.O. headquarters, and led inside the building.

 

            She was led straight to a lab, as promised, and to her surprise, a blonde bespectacled girl was waiting for her, wearing a white lab coat and smiling brightly. Turning to look at Alex, Lena arched an eyebrow questioningly.

 

            “There’s no one else who can work on the kryptonite without getting sick,” Alex shrugged, before hesitating slightly, “well, once you’re done doing ... whatever.”

 

            “And what about me?”

 

            “Well, we need you to do it again,” Alex said matter of factly, “we’ll remove you as soon as it’s done.”

 

            Lena nodded, and a glass door slid shut as Alex stayed outside the lab, keeping her eyes trained on Lena. Walking further inside, Lena nodded at Kara. “Aren’t you worried about the kryptonite weakening you?” she asked Kara, who was sitting on metal stool, absentmindedly drumming her fingers on a metal worktop as she stared at Lena.

 

            “It shouldn’t be too bad, as long as I stay over here until you do ... whatever you did,” Kara said, her eyes crinkling at the coroners as she smiled.

 

            Lena nodded and walked over to the nearest bench, which had a small silver box waiting for her. There was a camera on a tripod, which she assumed was already recording, and a neat row of tools set out on the counter.

 

            “Let ya know if there’s anything you need,” Alex’s slightly staticky voice came over the intercom, and Lena turned to look at her as she slipped a pair of safety goggles on.

 

            “My laptop has the data for the list of materials. Your tech guy should be able to hack it in a few hours,” Lena told her, “I have my phone here with a list of materials. It’ll be quicker.”

 

            She relayed the list of materials to Alex, who sent another scientist off in search of everything Lena asked for, and remained standing outside. Lena was aware of her eyes darting over to Kara’s every few seconds, making sure her sister was okay, while Lena got to work. She carefully opened the box and pulled out a tiny piece of green kryptonite, and saw Kara shift slightly in her seat. Unsure whether she could feel the effects or not, Lena glanced up and watched her for a moment.

 

            “You can wait outside, you know,” she muttered after a moment, keeping her eyes down as she spoke. She wasn’t sure how to act around Kara, knowing that this was her place of work, and her sister was outside, and her sister didn’t know that she’d been in Lena’s bed that morning. Even if it wasn’t for that, Lena was unsure of herself, because this was a place she’d never imagined she would be, and every element of their relationship was confusing to her.

 

            “I’m fine,” Kara said, spinning around on her stool as she smiled at Lena, “let me know if you need a hand, you know, when it starts working on you.”

 

            Nodding, Lena started getting to work.

 

\---

 

            It was easier this time, having already made it before, and she followed her directions precisely. Still, it was a few hours before Lena managed to get the results that everyone wanted, and no one spoke a word the entire time. It was almost surprising to Lena to have Kara sat a few metres from her and be silent, because she never shut up usually, but she reminded herself that they weren’t alone. It wasn’t just Alex on the other side of the glass door, or even the other lab workers who slipped in and out for the first leg of the task, bringing Lena what she needed, but it was the cameras that were watching them. It unnerved Lena to have so many eyes on her, and she felt incredibly exposed, which made her pick up her pace. Living in the shadows made it hard for her to be under scrutiny, which was why she hated press conferences at L-Corp and the media so much. It seemed like she was always under a microscope, and being the Shadow was the one time she could get away from it all.

 

            Eventually she finished the job, and she was slumped in her seat by the time she’d transmuted the green Kryptonite into the new form. Pulling off a glove, she reached out and picked up the piece, almost keeling over as a wave of weakness flooded through her entire body.

 

            And then warm hands were there, gently pressed against her back as she was propped up on her stool, and the rock was being plucked from her hands.

 

  
            Lena looked up to see the wonder etched on Kara’s face as she observed the green lump in her hand, without the weakening effects. “It works,” Kara breathlessly murmured.

 

            “It does,” Lena sighed in relief.

 

            The sound of the door sliding open reached her ears, and Lena turned to look at the man that strode in, closely followed by Alex, who had her arms crossed over her chest. Only Alex looked wary of the kryptonite that Kara held.

 

            “Miss Luthor,” the man greeted her in a low voice, “I’m Director Henshaw. I run this whole operation. We’d like you to come with us and answer a few questions, if you don’t mind.”

 

            She nodded and slid off her stool, feeling as if her legs might buckle, and wobbly walked after him. They didn’t blindfold her, and Lena stared around curiously, taking in the screens running all manners of programs, and the agents and scientists milling around in black or white clothes. They all knew who she was, and she met every stare with a hard one of her own, stubbornly jutting her chin forward. Eventually, the employees were behind them, and Lena was let to a room not unlike the one she’d been in the first time she’d been taken to the D.E.O. headquarters, except this one held a desk as well as a chair.

 

            Kara was stopped from entering, and she gave Lena a slight grimace, before wandering off to get back to work, while Lena took a seat in the metal chair. Alex sat down across from her, and Director Henshaw lingered behind her shoulder with crossed arms. Together, the two of them ran through a series of questions: where did she get the kryptonite; how did she make this new form; what was her purpose with it; was she going to use it to hurt people; had her brother made her do it. She answered them all as precisely and briskly as possible, wanting the interrogation to be over as quick as possible.

 

            Henshaw nodded at Alex and left the room, and Alex climbed to her feet. Assuming that the questions were over, and they were satisfied with her answers, Lena climbed to her feet. She felt Alex’s intense stare and met her brown eyes, delicately arching and eyebrow in question.

 

            “Why’d you do it?”

 

            “Do what?”

 

            “Try and reverse the kryptonite. Save her. Look after her.”

 

            Alex didn’t sound suspicious or concerned, she just sounded simply curious, and Lena paused slightly. She gave Alex a small shrug after a quick deliberation, “I don’t know.”

 

            Nodding, Alex opened the door, and Lena followed her out into the hallway, coming face to face with Kara. Smiling hesitantly, Kara reached out and handed Alex and Lena small takeaway cups of coffee, and handed Lena a packet of chips. “Hey, um, so I know that when I’m around kryptonite it makes me really hungry afterwards, so I, uh, figured you might need your strength.”

 

            “Oh, yeah, right,” Lena murmured, taking the packet off her, “thank you.”

 

            “It’s no problem,” Kara smiled at her.

 

            Alex sipped her coffee silently, looking at Kara with raised eyebrows, and as the silence dragged on, Lena took a sip of her own. Clearing her throat slightly, she turned to look at Alex, “so, am I free to leave?”

 

            “Of course,” Alex told her, her tone cool and professional, “thank you for cooperating. We’ll be in touch if we need anything else.”

 

            Lena let out a snort of laughter, before snarkily replying, “I don’t doubt that you will.”

 

            She saw Kara biting her lip to stop herself from smiling, and the sight made Lena’s lips twitch slightly, almost as if she was about to smile. “I’ll have someone drive you home,” Alex informed her.

 

            Letting out a sharp laugh, Lena gave her a wry smile, “don’t bother. I wouldn’t want to impose on your dangerous work of finding people trying to help keep other people safe.”

 

            Alex opened her mouth to argue, and Kara jumped in to diffuse the argument before it could begin. “Well I’ll just walk you downstairs and see you into a cab then,” she said, giving Lena a tight smile. Nodding, Lena turned around and walked down the hallway, the way she had come in, ignoring Alex and leaving Kara to hurry after her.

 

            She didn’t speak the entire elevator ride down, leaving Kara to fidget nervously as she bit back a dozen comments and remarks. On the sidewalk outside the headquarters, Lena turned to look at Kara, hesitating slightly before giving her a small nod. “I’ll call you.”

 

            Kara seemed to sag in relief, and she gave Lena a bright smile, “I’ll see you soon.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still on holiday but I have more downtime than I thought bc literally everyone keeps napping lmao

            Lena threw herself back into her work, shoving all thoughts of the kidnapping and D.E.O. visit to the back of her mind and trying to move forward; it was what she did best. It was harder than usual though, and she wasn’t sure why she was having such a hard time letting go of what had happened. All she knew was that every night she couldn’t sleep because she had bad dreams, and they weren’t about herself. They were filled with green light and a red cape, except she learnt that it _wasn’t_ a cape, it was a pool of blood, but it still belonged to the same blonde girl. She saw Jack more than ever, and she assumed it was because her lack of sleep was making her more tense and stressed. At work she snapped at Jess, when she met with Sam to discuss some legal business, she was irritable, and she was almost hostile in her classes with Veronica, getting knocked on her ass every two seconds because she couldn’t focus properly. She wasn’t as good at repressing things as she used to be.

 

            Lena didn’t call Kara, and she didn’t receive any calls. She appreciated the fact that Kara respected that she needed her space, and didn’t try and force her out of her isolation. It looked like she had taken Lena’s words to heart, and was fine with letting Lena choose what she was comfortable with, which made things slightly easier for her. She was fiddling with her phone in her hand, debating whether or not to call Kara. It had been a long week, and she was too keyed up to do anything useful. A quick visit from Kara would help her unwind, and she knew that Kara would willingly come, but Lena was hesitant to call her because she knew that Kara would ask questions even if Lena didn’t want her to. She’d told her she didn’t want to talk, she just wanted sex, but Kara was a caring person, and she would make sure she was okay because that’s just who she was. She didn’t know why Lena was so distant all the time, and she didn’t know why it was so hard for her to talk, and Lena didn’t want to snap at Kara for being concerned. It would be better for them both if they didn’t see each other tonight.

 

            Sliding her phone across the kitchen counter, Lena sighed and put her head in her hands. She should go to bed - it would’ve been the right thing to do - but she was too alert. The darkness was calling to her, covering the city in a blanket of shadows just waiting for her to creep through. The thought of the terrible people lurking about made her climb to her feet; she’d been working all day, but there was more for her to do.

 

            The drive to her safe house was quick, with the Monday night traffic being less busy than usual, and she was soon shouldering her way through the creaky wooden door leading into the small apartment. Stripping off her clothes, Lena pulled on her suit, strapping and buckling everything securely in place, before she tied her long hair back and slipped her mask on. Turning on the mask, she let her eyes adjust to the information being fed to them by the lenses and the rest of the shit, before pulling her hood up and plunging the blank features of her mask into shadow. Slinking outside and darting across the street, Lena traipsed down the familiar alleyway, crunching broken glass and soggy newspapers beneath her feet as she went.

 

            Her first criminal of the night was a middle aged man shouting slurs in the parking lot of a convenience store, smashing bottles of the beer he’d just bought against the side of the building and throwing drunken punches at anyone who stopped by for something. It only took one well aimed punch to knock him out and Lena was gone before the sirens even reached her ears. On and on the night went, with her stopping robberies and murders, catching drug dealers and finding more evidence to bring down the CEO of a pharmaceutical company - she was especially proud of that one, and couldn’t wait to get home to use the rest of the evidence she’d compiled to have the FBI take him down - but still, she felt no relief from the restlessness that pervaded her body. She was even _more_ jittery and wired up, if anything, and she was still prowling the city when the sun came up.

 

            Slipping down an alleyway, Lena tread carefully as she took in the sight of a man handing a woman a small pistol in return for a wad of cash, and she blinked back the burning feeling in her eyes as she picked up the pace. Knocking the man out, she grabbed the cash and chased after the woman, catching her by the wrist and yanking her around. Seeing the fear in her eyes, Lena paused for a second, before pressing the money into her hand and taking the gun off her.

 

            “Do it the proper way - you’ll find yourself in more trouble if you’re caught with an illegal firearm,” she said in her robotic voice, trying to sound as gentle as possible, “if you need help, I can help you. Call the police if you’re in trouble, and I’ll make it there first. Or I have a friend who will. We can help you.”

 

            The frightened woman nodded, and Lena slowly let go of her, watching the woman run down the alleyway and out into the steadily lightening city. The weak rays of sunlight, that were starting to paint the sky a beautiful mix of reds and oranges, glinted slightly on the edges of broken glass and a few windows that weren’t boarded up, and Lena let out a weary sigh. Her bones felt leaden, and she didn’t feel any better for keeping the streets safe; in fact, it had made her feel more tired and tense than she had been before.

 

            “Lena.”

 

            The gentle voice startled her, and she span around to face Kara, who was floating midair and looking slightly confused. “Supergirl. What’re you doing here?”

 

            Lightly touching down to the cracked asphalt of the alleyway, Kara gave her a slight shrug, “I heard your heartbeat so I came to see what you were up to,” Kara explained, before quickly adding, “not to help, just ... you’re usually home by now and the sun’s like halfway up already. I was just curious.”

 

            Lena shifted slightly, her mind registering the fact that Kara knew when she usually retired for the night, and she flexed her fingers nervously. “I, uh, yeah, I was just trying to blow off some steam.”

 

            Kara quietly laughed, giving Lena a lopsided smile as she scratched the back of her neck. “You could’ve called me. You know I don’t mind.”

 

            “I know,” Lena muttered, the distorted sound of her voice coming out weird, “I didn’t feel like seeing anyone.”

 

            “Oh, okay, well you should probably get some rest. Don’t you have work today?”

 

            Shrugging, Lena kicked at a small rock and sent it skittering towards Kara. “I can do what I want, so ... probably not.”

  
            “Is, uh, is everything okay?” Kara hesitantly asked, her blue eyes filled with concern as she stared at Lena in the early morning light. She shifted, almost as if she wanted to take a step forward, but she kept her distance.

 

            Lena grimaced behind her mask, feeling her shoulders sag with weariness as a wave of tiredness washed over her. She was trying to act like everything was normal, but it was all catching up with her. There were cracks in her shield and she could feel herself slowly starting to fall apart. The last thing she wanted was someone trying to knock down the rest of her walls, but there was something so sincere about Kara’s voice, and the look on her face, that made Lena bite back the sharp words that threatened to burst forth before she could stop them. She shrugged again, scuffing the toe of her boot over the ground and swallowing the lump in her throat.

 

            “If, uh, if you want ... I make some good scrambled eggs. You could come to mine for breakfast. Don’t worry, I won’t ask too many questions, I just ... you sound tired. You probably look it too, under that mask of yours.”

 

            Lena tilted her head to the side as she stared at Kara. “Breakfast?”

 

            “Only if you want to.”

 

            They both stared at each other for a few moments, and then Lena slowly nodded. “Okay.”

 

\---

 

            Lena watched as Kara quickly cracked a whole carton of eggs and mixed in some milk, before walking over to the stove and pouring the mixture into a big frying pan. She was wearing some of Kara’s clothes, the old sweatpants and worn t-shirt more comfortable than anything she owned herself, and she was sitting on a barstool in Kara’s kitchen. A cup of tea was clutches tightly in her hand, the warmth of it seeping into her body and pushing back some of the tenseness held in her hunched shoulders.

 

            It was a strange experience being in Kara’s apartment. She’d been here once before, half out of her mind with a burning fever, and had promptly collapsed in her arms. It was another thing to be here in the day though, and Lena was taken aback by the sunlight streaming in through tall windows, and the coziness of the place. It was an array of pastels and patterns that seemed to scream Kara - not Supergirl, _Kara_ \- and Lena felt uneasy being in her home. It seemed to mean something different, her being there, something different to what it meant when Kara came to hers. Perhaps it was the cold, almost clinical feel of Lena’s apartment, with its lack of anything personal beyond clothes and some books, but it made their whole situation feel less personal. Here, Lena felt like she’d stepped inside Kara’s personal life, and it made her panic slightly at the thought that this was more than what she’d bargained for. It was just breakfast though.

 

            Taking a sip of tea, Lena watched as Kara pulled out a packet of bacon and dumped all of it into another equally as large frying pan, before fetching a loaf of bread. She silently looked on at the sheer amount of food it took for Kara to eat breakfast, and Lena looked at the dwindling amount of food in the fridge and cupboards whenever Kara opened them, trying not to be nosy, but unable to stop herself from noticing. They should’ve gone back to hers and she could’ve ordered them food from the diner two blocks away. It was too late now though, and soon enough, Kara was placing a plate of bacon, eggs and toast down in front of Lena, who murmured her thanks and picked up her knife and fork.

 

            Setting three plates of food down in front of her, Kara started piling up and empty plate and quickly dug in. Lena ate at a slower pace, and by the time Kara was halfway through her second plate, Lena was shoving the last of the toast into her mouth.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena quietly said, picking up her tea and quickly draining it.

 

            Kara gave her a warm smile, her fake glasses shifting as she wrinkled her nose slightly. “Anytime. You’re welcome to some more if you’re still hungry.”

 

            “You eat it,” Lena told her, returning the smile. She felt better after a good meal, but she was still exhausted and she knew she should be getting home. Work was out of the question today; she could do some paperwork at home and get Jess to reschedule her meetings. “I, uh, I’d best be going.”

 

            “Oh, right, of course,” Kara smiled at her, her fork pausing halfway to her mouth, and she quickly put it back down. “Do you want me to call you a cab, or do you want to borrow my phone to call someone?”

 

            “It’s fine, I can walk.”

 

            She made to climb down off the stool, but Kara stopped her with a warm hand on her arm. Lena jerked her head up to meet Kara’s eyes, taking in the concern and the softness of her face. “I’m sorry, it’s just ... you look like you might pass out if you walk home. I know I said I wouldn’t ask too many questions, but ... have you been sleeping okay?”

 

            “I’m fine, Kara,” Lena muttered, ducking her head down.

 

            “Okay,” Kara caved in, knowing that Lena wouldn’t appreciate her sticking her nose in her business. “I’d still feel better if you let me call you a cab though. Or if you want, I have my bed here and you can crash here for a few hours, until you look less like a zombie.” She gave Lena a lopsided smile, trying to convey the fact that she was joking, and Lena gave her the barest hint of a smile in return.

 

            “Was that you trying to get me to sleep with you? Having withdrawals?”

 

            Blushing slightly, Kara adjusted her glasses as she ducked her head, “no, I mean- no, that’s not why I- you just look-“

 

            “What a shame,” Lena smirked slightly, “I could’ve used the distraction.”

 

            Kara opened and closed her mouth a few times, giving Lena a hesitant smile as she shrugged casually. Her cheeks were still slightly pink and she shifted nervously in her seat, “I mean, if you _want_ to, then sure ... but I do think you should sleep.”

 

            Lena let out a small snort of laughter and nodded towards the plates of food in front of Kara. “Finish your food, before it gets cold.” She watched as Kara turned and gave her food a regretful look, before holding up one finger at Lena and quickly shovelling the rest of her plate down. There was still enough for three more plates of food, but Kara jumped down off her stool, draining her own tea as she went, and then pulled a slightly amused Lena close by the bottom of her shirt. Bringing her lips down on Lena’s, Kara picked her up in one fluid motion and moved towards the screen at the other end of her apartment.

 

\---

 

            It was still bright when Lena woke up, and she was disoriented as she scrambled into a sitting position, bringing the unfamiliar sheets with her. They weren’t her silk sheets, and that wasn’t her bed, or her bedroom. She was still at Kara’s. Lena could count on one hand the number of times she’d slept in someone else’s bed, and that was a grand total of one now, and she wasn’t sure how to feel about it. She must’ve been so tired that she’d fallen asleep afterwards, and Kara had left her to rest and disappeared. The fact that she had fallen asleep next to someone was jarring, and Lena felt panicked at the thought of being so comfortable around someone that she could just _fall asleep_.

 

            Running a hand through her messy hair, Lena slid out of bed and reached for her underwear. She realised that she couldn’t leave in her suit, so she scrambled around on the floor for Kara’s borrowed shirt, but couldn’t find the sweatpants. The sound of the TV led her to believe that Kara was busy watching it, and Lena awkwardly walked over to the screen and stepped out into the main area of the apartment.

 

            She didn’t come face to face with Kara though, it was Alex. They both stared at each other in surprise, and Lena really wished that she was wearing pants, or was literally _anywhere_ else. This was the _last_ thing she had wanted to happen. Kara was staring at her in horror from the door, clearly trying to get Alex to leave, and Lena cleared her throat slightly, giving Alex a haughty look. “Agent Danvers.”

 

            The greeting seemed to shake Alex out of her shock, and she turned towards her sister. “What’s _she_ doing here?”

 

            “We were just- we, uh, she and I were-“ Kara stammered, her face turning red as she avoided her sister’s stare and walked to the kitchen.

 

            Alex seemed to blanch slightly, “no, I know why she’s here, but _why_ is she here?”

 

            “Well, as _exciting_ as this conversation sounds like it’s going to be, I’m going home,” Lena said, giving Alex a wry smile as the other woman shot her a sharp look. Kara let out a quiet groan, putting her head in her hands, and muttered something in Kryptonian, which Lena assumed was a curse. “I’ll call you,” she said to Kara as she cast her eyes around the room for the sweatpants, finding them dangling over the room divider that Kara had flung them over when she’d pulled them off Lena.

 

            “Kara!” Alex spluttered, seeing her sister’s face light up at Lena’s words, and Lena looked up to see Alex gesturing vaguely at Lena.

 

            Laughing bitterly, Lena tied the drawstring of the pants and made to pick up the pile that comprised her suit and boots. “By all means, Agent Danvers, speak your mind. What’s the problem? Is it my raving lunatic of a brother? Or perhaps my bitchy and manipulative mother and her anti-alien propaganda? _Or_ is it me and my extracurricular activities?”

 

            “Oh please,” Alex scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest, “you think I’d hold your family against you? No, it’s the latter. You’re a criminal and I don’t want you dragging my sister down with you.”

 

            “Kara’s a big girl, I’m sure she can make up her own mind.”

 

            “It’s not her I don’t trust,” Alex coolly replied, giving Lena a hard stare.

 

            Lena smirked at her, raising her chin slightly as she stubbornly faced Alex. “Speaking of criminal activity, I’m sure there would be a few government agencies who would be _very_ interested in your methods of carrying out the law. Tell me, Agent Danvers, is it standard protocol to deny a suspect their lawyer? Or hold them without probable cause? Or even use that excuse to bring someone into custody, when they know for a fact that their sister was the one to give them the substance in question? Hm? Please tell me if I’m wrong, but I think a lot of that is illegal, wouldn’t you agree? Perhaps I should have a talk with my lawyer.”

 

            “There’s nothing you can say to make me frightened of you,” Alex replied, “or make me think that what you do is right. I work for an organisation that technically doesn’t exist - I’m just doing my job, and you’re jeopardising that. We made a deal, and that’s only for my sister’s benefit. Don’t think for a _second_ that I wouldn’t hand you over the moment that I caught you, if it wasn’t for the deal.”

 

            “Well-“

 

            “Enough!” Kara shouted, banging her hand down on the kitchen counter with enough force to rattle it and everything on it. “Alex, I appreciate the concern but it’s- we’re- I’m just-“

 

            “It’s just physical,” Lena supplied.

 

            Kara gave her an exasperated look, and Lena shrugged. “And you ... I don’t know. Don’t threaten my sister if you’re not willing to take the fall for everything you’re doing, because she’s the only thing protecting you. _Both_ of you have done ... questionable things - don’t give me that look, Alex, you know you have - and both of you are a part of my life. I won’t have you bickering and arguing, so if you can’t play nice then just stay away from each other, please.”

 

            “Well, I was on my way out anyway,” Lena stiffly replied, giving Kara a cool look as she made for the door.

 

            “Lena-“

 

            Whatever she was going to say was cut off by Lena shutting the door behind her. She felt strange, having Kara defend her to her sister, and say that she was a part of her life, and Lena’s chest felt all tight and funny and she couldn’t figure out why. This whole day had been odd, and she felt uneasy as she walked downstairs in Kara’s clothes. She ended up getting a cab anyway, and Lena tried to avoid thinking about Kara as she made her way through the city, watching as the sun dipped towards the skyline as dusk fast approached. She’d spent all day at Kara’s, and she wasn’t sure what the most surprising thing that had happened that day was. All she knew was that things with Kara were getting complicated, but Lena didn’t want to break things off - not yet.

 

            After a quick shower, Lena changed back into Kara’s clothes, feeling comforted by the feel of the worn clothes and the faint smell of the washing detergent that Kara used. Making herself some tea, Lena carried it to her office, where her computer sat after having been returned by an apologetic James on Saturday night, and she booted it up. Powering through her paperwork, she quickly compiled all of her data on the CEO she’d caught out and sent an anonymous tip to the D.E.O., knowing that Alex or Winn would know it was her. Then she set about placing an online order for some groceries, buying enough to probably fill the whole delivery truck, and had it sent to Kara’s place.

 

            Feeling somewhat better about herself, Lena heated up some leftover noodles in the fridge and poured herself a glass of scotch. Sitting out on her balcony, she pondered her situation, wondering why everything seemed to be going downhill all of a sudden. It wasn’t the fact that she was the Shadow - although, admittedly that was part of it - she’d been the Shadow for a long time before everything had started getting messed up. If she was being honest though, things had been messed up before that though, and Lena ran a hand over her weary face, trying to come up with a solution to her problems. They seemed to be growing in number.

 


	22. Chapter 22

  “Will there be anything else, Miss Luthor?” Jess asked as Lena started flipping through the page she’d assistant had just placed down before her.

 

  “No, that’ll be all,” Lena dismissively replied, before hesitating, “thank you, Jess.” The other girl nodded and gave her a small smile, before leaving Lena to sort through the paperwork. She didn’t get very far before her phone started ringing, and she sighed and picked it up. She blinked in surprise when she saw Kara’s name, because she was always the one who called Kara, not the other way around, and she warily set her pen down and slid across to answer. “Hello?”

 

 _“Hi, um, I was just wondering if you were busy,”_ Kara hesitantly asked, as if she was walking on eggshells.

 

  Her tone made Lena pause, feeling a twinge of guilt. “I’m at work. Why? What’s wrong?”

 

  _“Oh, it’s fine. I don’t want to disturb you, I just wanted to come and see you and ... talk.”_

 

  “Talk or sex?” Lena asked.

 

  She could practically feel Kara blushing through the phone as she quickly scrambled to reassure her it was just to talk. _“I-I know you don’t like it,”_ she continued, sounding apologetic, _“but it’ll just be a few moments. Perhaps I can come over tonight?”_

 

  Lena snorted, shaking her head slightly, “somehow I don’t think we’ll do much talking. Come to my office, I was going to take a break soon anyway.”

 

  _“I’m, uh, I’m outside,”_ Kara nervously replied.

 

  Lena swivelled around in her chair to look out of the windows, unsure which way Kara was going to make an appearance, but found the balcony empty. It looked like Kara was coming as herself. “Top floor. I’ll tell my assistant to let you in.” She hung up without another word and quickly pressed the button on the desk phone to call Jess, relaying the message to give Kara access to her office.

 

  Five minutes later, the door was being gently opened and Kara stuck her head inside. Her wary expression gave way to a warm smile as she shouldered her was inside, bringing flowers with her, and Lena pulled her glasses off as she raised her eyebrows. “Miss Danvers.”

 

  “You look nice,” Kara blurted out as she approached the desk, taking in the low cut blouse, tight skirt and striking red lipstick, “your look very ... professional.”

 

  “You’re not the only one with two identities,” Lena smirked, waving towards the chair across from her, “what did you want to talk about?”

 

  Kara blinked in surprise, having almost forgotten why she was there, and she handed the flowers over in a daze. Shaking herself out of it, she smiled at Lena, who hesitantly took the flowers off her. “Um, so I assumed the groceries were off you,” she said, and at Lena’s nod, she continued, “I just wanted to thank you. It was very kind and you didn’t have to do that.”

 

  Lena nodded again. “I wanted to. Thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful. Now, what was it you wanted to talk about? I assume you’re not _this_ nervous about discussing groceries.” Kara shook her head and fiddled with her hands in her lap, and Lena sighed. “How would you like to go out for lunch?”

 

  “I don’t want to disturb you,” Kara quickly assured her, and Lena’s lips twitched into a slight smile.

 

  “It’s lunchtime, Kara, I’m not a machine. I need to eat too.”

 

  “Oh ... well alright.”

 

  Lena quickly gathered her coat and bag, depositing the flowers in the jug of drinking water on top of a cabinet, before she briskly walked out of her office. Jess looked at her in surprise, and she heard Kara saying bye to her as she hurried after Lena. They both climbed into the elevator, and they rode down to the ground floor in silence, with Lena feeling tense and Kara fiddling with a button on her coat. Lena had the urge to slam her against the elevator wall and kiss her, but she balled her hands into fists and jammed them in her pockets, deciding that it wasn’t the time or place to do such a thing. She hoped that Kara didn’t hear her pulse spike.

 

  She let Kara pick where to get lunch, and she picked a Chinese restaurant with a faded sign overhead and massive portions for a cheap price. Lena assumed she came here often to bulk up, and was even more so convinced when Kara greeted the man behind the counter in Mandarin. They seated themselves at a table of their choosing, and Lena looked at Kara in surprise. “You speak Mandarin?”

 

  “Oh, um, yes. I picked it up when I first ... _moved_ here,” Kara said, looking slightly embarrassed as she shrugged, “it, uh, well, I told you that I spoke a lot of languages before English. Kryptonian is kind of a tonal language, so when I moved here I, uh, well Mandarin isn’t actually _that_ different in terms of linguistics and all that. I took online classes; it was easier to learn than English, and it kind of reminded me of home. Completely weirded out my new family though. Not only did they have to deal with a freaking alien whose English was very broken, but then they had to deal with taking Mandarin lessons because they wanted to make me feel welcome, and I would just burst into Mandarin whenever English wouldn’t work, so they couldn’t understand me very well at the beginning.”

 

  “Oh,” Lena murmured, before breaking into a torrent of words that lit up Kara’s face with a bright smile. “I speak a few languages too, for business. China is a very good place for tech, so I’ve learnt a few things.”

 

  Kara laughed, her eyes sparking behind her glasses as they crinkled at the corners, “I shouldn’t even be surprised.”

 

  Lena shrugged, reaching for the jug of water on their table and filling both of their cups, just so she had something to do. She shrugged again when Kara asked her what she wanted, but it didn’t deter the other girl, who climbed to her feet and walked over to the counter separating the kitchen from the restaurant. Listening, Lena took in the sound of Kara’s lilting voice as she ordered a dozen things in Mandarin, and Lena smiled slightly. She was _definitely_ the oddest person Lena had ever come across, and not even just because she was an alien. The clumsy, dorkiness and the pastel cardigans, the genius scientific brain and the altruistic need to save everyone - they all made for an interesting person, despite the fact that she could level the city if she wanted to.

 

  Lena was still trying to figure her out when Kara took a seat again, giving her a nervous smile. “So, um, the reason I wanted to see you was to apologise.”

 

  “Apologise?” Lena echoed in surprise, “what for? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

 

  “Well, yesterday ... with my sister. I know it’s making things more complicated than you wanted, and I’m sorry if you got mad at what I said.”

 

  Lena let out a quiet laugh, shaking her head as she took a sip of water. “I wasn’t _mad_ , I just didn’t want to listen to whatever confrontation was about to go down. That’s what I do, Kara, I avoid. I grew up in a house that wasn’t exactly ... _civil_ to each other, and I don’t really like people arguing; I prefer to do my fighting physically. You have no need to apologise.”

 

  “Oh ... but Alex-“

 

  “Kara, just tell me if she’s going to be a problem. I don’t want complicated and difficult, and if your sister is going to make this those things, then we can just stop it here. It’s fine, it doesn’t _have_ to go any further, so just let me know.”

 

  “She won’t be,” Kara quickly assured her, “she’s my sister, not my boss. Yes, she has her ... _reservations_ , but I know she won’t interfere in my personal life unless it’s to do with the law.”

 

  Lena scoffed, “well I’m glad _none_ of us are in trouble with the law then. That’ll make it easier.”

 

  “Just tell me what you want,” Kara said, sounding exasperated, “I don’t want to play games. We’re both adults, so just tell me what you _want_ , please.”

 

  “You.”

 

  Kara blinked in surprise at the word the fell almost instantly from Lena’s lips. She hadn’t expected such a forthright answer, and it was surprising. “But what do you want from me? Because I know you said it’s _just_ sex, but come on, Lena, this isn’t what it is.”

 

  Stiffening slightly in her seat, Lena stared down at her glass, running a finger over the small chip on the rim of it. “You’re _not_ my girlfriend.”

 

  “I know,” Kara laughed, smiling slightly in amusement, “but we’re ... I don’t know, friends?”

 

  “I don’t have any friends,” Lena quietly replied. She couldn’t even meet Kara’s eyes. “I don’t have anyone. If I get close to someone ... they die, or they get hurt or- or it just, it doesn’t work out. So I wouldn’t be so eager to be friends.”

 

  Kara gave her a soft smile, reaching out to gently touch Lena’s hand, which she slowly drew back, unused to someone being so casually familiar with her. “Well, they’d be hard pressed to kill, or even hurt me.”

 

  Lena let out a quick laugh, leaning back in her seat and casting her eyes around the room. The smell from the kitchen was making her stomach rumble and the gentle whirring of a fan cooled the room. They were the only ones in there, and they could’ve been the only two people on the planet for all Lena knew, because they were so wrapped up in their conversation that she wouldn’t have even known if there was someone stood next to her.

 

  “What do _you_ want, Kara?” She asked after a moment, turning to look at the blonde girl, who looked taken aback by the direct question.

 

  She opened and closed her mouth a few times, before shrugging. “Well, sex I suppose. It’s what we agreed to, and I would never ask for anything more if you weren’t willing.”

 

  “But you’d like more.” It wasn’t a question; Lena suspected that Kara wasn’t someone who casually slept around with other people, and it was probably difficult for her to keep it physical. She was always so warm and open that Lena guessed that she would prefer to talk and get to know someone normally.

 

  Kara’s cheeks turned slightly pink and she nervously fiddled with her glasses, “well, I- uh, it’s not-“

 

  “It’s okay,” Lena told her, “it’s unfair of me to give you terms and conditions without asking what you want. Just tell me.”

 

  “Well I’d like for us to be able to have _some_ sort of conversation, and not be practically thrown out of your apartment the second we’re finished. That would be nice.”

 

  Lena let out a loud laugh, giving Kara a lopsided smile as she reached for her water. “Well I suppose that perhaps I can agree to that. I’d still prefer _not_ to talk about anything personal, or have you sleep at my place, but I guess you have a point. It’s reasonable.”

 

  “Thank you,” Kara quietly said, sounding genuinely grateful for Lena attempting to meet her halfway. It hadn’t been Kara’s intention to bargain for more with Lena, but it had taken a surprising turn of events, and she was _more_ than happy with the outcome.

 

  The food started coming out before they could carry on talking, and Lena’s eyes widened at the number of dishes that were brought out, and raised her eyebrows when Kara gave her a sheepish smile. “You’re probably keeping them in business,” Lena said, smirking slightly as Kara flushed slightly.

 

  They began piling a variety of food onto their plates, and Lena cleared her throat slightly as she spooned some sweet and sour pork out of a bowl. “I don’t mean to be rude of offensive, but you _do_ eat a lot, and ... ah, well, um, if you ever need help buying more food ... I can help.”

 

  “Oh, it’s very kind of you to offer, and I’m grateful for the groceries, but I, uh, I can manage,” Kara said, shifting slightly in her seat.

 

  “Kara, you literally work _two_ jobs and are only on the payroll for one. Plus you like in quite a nice apartment for your area of town, and I truly don’t mean to pry, but I don’t want you to starve because you can’t afford to eat as much as you should,” Lena quickly said, hoping that her words didn’t come out as blunt as they sounded to her. “I can help you. Just ... I don’t know, come and help yourself to my food if you don’t want me to buy you groceries. Or let me know if you want to come over and I can order us takeaway.”

 

  “I didn’t pick you as the caring type,” Kara joked, smiling at Lena, who grimaced at her.

 

  “I have feelings. I just don’t _like_ having them,” she muttered, stabbing at a piece of honey chicken and shoving it in her mouth.

 

  Kara reached out to touch her hand again, and this time Lena didn’t pull away at the warmth of her fingers, she just looked up and met Kara’s blue eyes. To Lena, this gentle touch meant something different, and something more intimate than any other touches they’d shared. She’d had Kara in her bed at least a dozen times, and felt her warm hands everywhere, as well as her mouth, but just the gentle touch of her fingers as they talked was enough to make Lena feel vulnerable. No one touched her like that - she didn’t _let_ them.

 

  “I’m only joking, Lena,” Kara softly assured her, “I know you’re nice and kind, and for whatever reason, you don’t want people to get close enough to see that. It doesn’t mean it’s not there though, and it doesn’t make you any _less_ nice and kind for hiding it.”

 

  “I just don’t want you to run yourself ragged and be hungry, is all,” Lena muttered, turning her eyes back down to her plate.

 

  A gentle squeeze off Kara, and then the warm hand retreated and Kara dug into her own food. They ate the rest of their meal in silence, and once she was full, Lena sat back and watched as Kara scraped every plate clean. She insisted on picking up the cheque, despite Kara’s protests, and they both thanked the waiter, who poked his head out from behind the counter and waved goodbye to Kara. After the fluorescent lights from inside, the harsh sunlight made Lena wince slightly, and she ducked her head as she walked back towards L-Corp, with Kara hurrying along. Neither of them spoke, and it wasn’t until they passed an ice cream cart that Lena paused, buying the biggest one possible for Kara and having it covered in every manner of sugary sauces and sprinkles, and getting a small one for herself. She gave Kara a hesitant smile, handing over the ice cream to the surprised girl, whose face split into a wide smile.

 

  They were both finishing their ice cream when they neared L-Corp, and they hesitated outside the doors, staring at one another for a few moments. Lena opened her mouth to say something, but Kara beat her to it. “Thank you for today. If there’s any way I can repay you, just let me know, okay?”

 

  She smiled and gave Lena a small wave, before turning around to leave. For some reason, Lena instinctively reached out and grabbed her by the arm, stopping her before she could take more than one step. “Come over tonight,” she blurted out, “we can order ... curry. Or ... I don’t know, what else do you like eating?”

 

  “I like curry,” Kara smiled at her, and Lena nodded, giving her a faint smile.

 

  “I’ll see you tonight then,” Lena told her, hitching her bag up her shoulder and turning towards the doors. She glanced back once as she stepped inside the building, finding Kara still watching her, and Lena frowned slightly in confusion. She didn’t know why Kara cared so much.

 

\---

 

  Her feet were pounding away on the treadmill, her skin slick with sweat from the intense workout she was winding down from. Her arms were already leaden from the weights, and her legs were starting to feel the burn from her run when there was a loud knock on the door. Pressing the stop button, Lena grabbed her sweat towel and bottle of water, wiping her forehead and slinging the towel around her neck as she walked out of the gym. She sipped her water as she walked towards the front door, trying to slow her breathing and heartbeat as she went to answer it.

 

  Kara gave her a small smile when the door was pulled open, which turned into a wide eyed look as she took in the sports bra and the defined muscles of Lena’s arms and stomach, glistening with a slight sheen of sweat. Lena raised her eyebrows when Kara didn’t say anything, and it was another few moments before the other girl looked back up and realised that Lena was staring at her expectantly. Cheeks flushing red, Kara cleared her throat slightly, “sorry I didn’t realise you would be exercising.”

 

  “I was just wrapping up,” Lena said, waving the apology aside as she let Kara in and shut the door behind her, “I didn’t know when you’d be coming so dinner hasn’t been ordered yet.”

 

  “No problem,” Kara said, making her way down the hall as if she felt right at home in Lena’s apartment.

 

  Lena trailed after her, watching as Kara slipped her coat off and hung it up, before taking her shoes off and lining them up neatly beside the heels Lena had been wearing earlier. “Right, well I’m going to shower,” Lena told her.

 

  “Oh, okay, should I- I mean, do you want me to wait here or ...” Kara asked, trailing suggestively.

 

  Lena tilted her head to the side, staring at Kara intently, before she turned around and walked away. “I think we can save the fun until later, _but_ if you’d like a shower, you’re more than welcome to join.”

 

  Smiling, Kara trailed behind her, already unbuttoning her shirt. Lena quickly left her clothes in a pile on her bathroom floor, and as she turned the hot water on, goosebumps rippled across her skin, partly due to the fact that she could hear Kara’s clothes hitting the tiles too. Stepping underneath the stream of water, Lena let it wash the sweat off, and turned around expectantly. Kara hesitated, before joining her, even though it wasn’t the first time they’d showered together, and she ducked under the stream of water too, the extra few inches making her tower over Lena. Trying not to stare, Lena reached for the body wash and it was promptly plucked from her hand as Kara took it from her. Her mouth going dry, Lena watched as Kara squirted some into her hand and then turned Lena around. Gentle hands rubbed the soap on her skin, scrubbing her clean and massaging her sore muscles, and she had to bite back a small groan because it felt so good. A small part of Lena’s mind wondered if this was what she was missing out on by refusing to be in a relationship with someone, but she had to remind herself of the costs. Besides, it wasn’t like she could ever make things work with Kara; she was a superhero alien and Lena was a vigilante. It was just nice to have someone rub her back for her, just for a few minutes.

 

  After returning the favour - partly for her own gain too - Lena climbed out of the shower and threw Kara a towel, before wrapping one around herself. Plucking a silk robe from the back of the door, she set it on the counter and gestured at the fluffy one hanging on the hook too. “Help yourself.”

 

  “Oh, are we not dressing?” Kara asked, before answering her own question, “well I suppose there wouldn’t be any point, would there?”

 

  Lena smirked as she dried off quickly and slipped the robe on, tying it tightly around her waist and sauntering out of the bathroom. She heard Kara muttering something under the breath, and smiled at the thought of what she could be saying, before slipping out of the bedroom and fetching her phone. Placing an order in for half of the menu, Lena poured them both some scotch and waited for Kara to emerge. Her blonde hair was damp and curlier than ever, and she looked even sweeter than usual with the white fluffy robe wrapped around her and her fake glasses perched on her nose.

 

  “Here,” Lena said, sliding the glass down the kitchen counter and watching as Kara deftly caught it, “it’s scotch.”

 

  “I don’t really drink,” Kara shrugged, taking a sip anyway, “it doesn’t do anything for me.”

 

  “Hm,” Lena mused, watching her closely as she sipped her own drink, “well, I guess you can just drink it for the taste.”

 

  Laughing, Kara grimaced, “too bad it tastes like shit.” Lena snorted, climbing down off her stool and draining her glass. She set it down on the counter, walked over to Kara, and finished her drink too, before plucking her glasses off her face and neatly folding them.

 

  “You don’t need them here,” Lena murmured, and Kara let out a shy laugh, her hand instinctively reaching up to adjust them as she ducked her head, and settled for tucking her hair behind her ears. “You always do that. Why?”

 

  Lena raised her eyebrows expectantly as she walked into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge and cupboards and pulling out a few things as she waited for Kara to reply. “I don’t know, it’s just a habit I guess.”

 

  “A nervous one.”

 

  “Yes, a nervous one,” Kara sighed, “sometimes I just feel like people know who I am. That they’ve figured it out, or they will if they look at me too long.”

 

  “No shit,” Lena laughed, pouring some milk into a jug, “glasses are a fucking _awful_ disguise. Do I look like a different person when I’m wearing mine on my computer?”

 

  Kara shrugged, giving Lena a lopsided smile, “no, you actually look kind of ... _hot_. Not that you don’t always, I mean- you’re very beautiful, but you just like, I don’t know ... nerdy hot with glasses on.”

 

  “I didn’t realise you liked it so much,” Lena laughed, tearing open the packet in her hands. Kara blushed slightly and Lena held out the cup for her. “Hot chocolate.”

 

  “Oh, thank you,” Kara smiled, taking a sip and smiling even wider. She’d finished her drink by the time that Lena had finished putting everything away, and they both hovered in the kitchen in silence. “How long did they say the food would be?”

 

  “An hour,” Lena replied, and Kara nodded. They stood there for a few more moments, while Lena drummed her fingers on the counter, before Kara pulled her towards her and pressed her up against the kitchen counters, her hands going to the belt of Lena’s robe and undoing it. Lena made a small sound of surprise, feeling the silk slide against her skin as the robe fell to the floor and Kara’s hot mouth began placing kisses to her neck. Perhaps talking wasn’t so bad if this is what it got her.

 


	23. Chapter 23

           Lena fumbled for her phone as her alarm went off, quickly turning it off and climbing out of bed. It had been a rough night, and she’d taken quite a beating from the five men down the docks trying to smuggle girls and boys out of the city in shopping containers. Every bruise was worth it though, because the children were safe in police custody, and were in the process of being identified. She’d saved them; that was all that mattered. It didn’t stop Lena from swearing under her breath as her muscles ached as she made for the bathroom, or the half a dozen curses when she stepped under a jet of cold water, in an attempt to wake herself up.

 

           Work was going to be long, and she had therapy afterwards, so she was already in a sour mood, and wondering how it could get any worse. She thought too soon, because she was sitting behind her desk at L-Corp, drinking a bitter cup of coffee to help drag her through the day, when Jess burst into her office, giving Lena a panicked look.

 

           “Your mother is here,” she hissed, and Lena let out a quiet frustrated groan, listening to the approaching sound of heels clicking on the tiled floor. She shooed Jess, who gratefully slipped back outside, and before the door could fully shut, Lillian strode in.

 

           Lena didn’t say a word, and her mom looked determined as she walked towards her like she was on a mission. She didn’t stop until she was right in front of the desk, and had reached over and pulled Lena to her feet by the front of her shirt. The fabric was balled up in Lillian’s hand, and Lena grabbed her mom’s wrist as she teetered slightly at being dragged to her feet. They stared at each other for a moment, and then Lillian yanked her forward, until they were almost face to face.

 

           “What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?” she hissed at Lena.

 

           Trying to keep her cool for the time being, Lena shrugged slightly and then broke Lillian’s grip on her. The shirt was wrinkled, and Lena slowly tucked it back into her pants, her fingers attempting to brush away the creases. “Trying to do my _job_.”

 

           Lillian slammed down a grainy black and white photograph, and Lena bent over it as she peered at the photo. It was her in the alleyway outside the warehouse, the night it had burnt down, and across from her was Supergirl. “Your brother gave this to me. He told me to ask you about it.”

 

           Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lena seated herself back behind her desk, all defences up as she quickly ran over a series of lies that could help her keep her cover. “Well Lex doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Then again, he was already half mad before he went to prison, so I guess solitary confinement isn’t helping.”

 

           Slamming her hand down on the desk, hard enough to rattle everything on it, Lillian snarled at Lena, “you tell me everything, and you tell me _now_. I’ll not have you run this family’s name into the ground by associating with this ... _thing_. I couldn’t care less about the company, but I will not have you front and centre of every news outlet because of some ridiculous mistake, you idiotic girl.”

 

           “You _know_ I was there that night,” Lena coldly replied, “you know I was there when it caught on fire. I already told you. Yes, Supergirl was there too, she put the fire out. It’s her _job_ , it’s what she does. Now can you please leave me to do mine?”

 

           Turning her attention back to her computer screen, Lena clicked at a few things and ignored her mom, even though she could feel Lillian’s piercing gaze on her. It was another few moments before her mom left, snatching up the paper and stalking out of the office, calling over her shoulder as she left. “If I found it you’re lying, you know what’ll happen.”

 

          Lena ignored the threat and carried on working as the door slammed shut behind Lillian. Without turning to look at the shadowy figure to her right, Lena grumbled, “and you can piss off too.”

 

\---

 

           In a terrible mood for the rest of the day, Lena spent all of her lunch break trying to find out where the photo had come from. Lex was spying on her, and she needed to find the camera - or cameras, because she doubted there was just one. A feeling of panic welled up inside Lena at the thought of how much dirt he could have on her.

 

           She managed to trace one down to the docks, hack it, and destroy the software, but the thought of how many there were that she couldn’t find ... she could be in serious trouble, and not _just_ with her mom. She’d thrown the police off her trail with Veronica’s help, and had a deal with Alex, but that didn’t mean that a new wave of evidence couldn’t incriminating her. She needed help.

 

           In the elevator, Lena pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialled Kara’s number, hearing a familiar voice answer. “Can I come over tonight?”

 

 _“You want to come to mine?”_ Kara replied, sounding mildly surprised.

 

           “Yes, I’ll be there after therapy, and I’ll bring dinner.”

 

 _“Therapy ... oh. Okay, I’ll see you later then,”_ Kara replied, and Lena hung up, shoving the phone into her bag and cursing herself for mentioning therapy. Kara didn’t know about that - about _any_ of it - and she didn’t want questions right now. She wanted her help.

 

           The hour in therapy dragged by, and her therapist, Gayle, was as calm and insightful as ever, which infuriated Lena, who wasn’t in the mood for questions about how the last week had been for her. She reined in her temper though, and sat with the discomfort of her bruises and aching muscles, purely so her mom wouldn’t think she wasn’t taking it seriously and find a reason to snatch the company away from her. Lillian didn’t care about the company, but it was her way of keeping Lena in line, and the minute she couldn’t control her anymore, Lena knew she’d be whispering in the board’s ears. It didn’t matter to her that the company was on a rise, and that Lena had dredged it up from the ruin her brother had plunged it into, fighting tooth and nail for every deal. So she went to therapy, and tried to appease Lillian, and keep her secret life hidden from her, and now, Lena just hoped that Lex’s meddling could be cut off before it got her into trouble.

 

           After therapy, she was in such a bad mood that she almost considered not going to Kara’s, but she found herself buying seven large pizzas anyway and making the drive across the city. Struggling with the stack of boxes, she made her way upstairs and knocked on the door, hoping that Kara wasn’t going to want to talk _too_ much - it had been a few weeks since their altered arrangement, and it hadn’t been _that_ bad so far. The door was opened, and Lena walked inside, kicking the door shut behind her and heading towards the kitchen counter and turning to look at Kara, who was stripping off the robe she wore, with nothing on underneath it. Lena dropped the pizzas.

 

           “What’re you doing?”

 

           “Are we not ...” Kara trailed off, the silk bathrobe dangling in one hand, and a confused look on her face.

 

           Her heart rate spiked, and Lena knew that Kara could hear it, but still, she crouched down and started piling the pizzas back into a neat stack as she swallowed thickly. “Not right now. I came over because I need your help.”

 

           “Is everything okay?” Kara quickly asked, the robe tightly tied around her body as she knelt down beside Lena and gently touched her on the shoulder. “Is this about ... therapy?”

 

           “No,” Lena stiffly replied, climbing to her feet and putting the boxes on the counter. “It’s my brother. He’s spying on me and trying to out me to my mom.”

 

           Kara hesitated slightly, “like with us, or as the Shadow?”

 

           Lena let out a snort of laughter, kicking her heels off and pulling a slice of pizza out of the top box. “Please, she couldn’t give a shit about who I sleep with - well, unless she knew it was Supergirl - but yes, she will care if there’s a risk I can get arrested and drag the Luthor name through the mud, much like my fucking brother. And there’s a photograph of us together, from the night of the fire, which she knows about.”

 

           “Oh,” Kara murmured, taking a slice of pizza and taking a big bite and chewing thoughtfully, “so what can I do to help?”

 

           “I need you to get me my brother’s file from your work, and a complete list of all the employees that work there. I don’t doubt that the D.E.O. knows _something_ about his tech, and I know he has someone on the inside,” Lena said.

 

           Kara choked on her mouthful of food and coughed as she forced it down, staring at Lena incredulously, “you want me to hack my work and _steal_ data for you?”

 

           “Yes.”

 

           _“No!”_ Kara exclaimed, giving Lena a horrified look, “you _know_ I can’t do that, and it’s unfair of you to ask.”

 

           Lena let out a frustrated sigh, slipping her shoes on and putting her half eaten pizza back in the box, “fine, I’ll do it myself. I thought you’d say no anyway.”

 

           As she turned to leave, a rough hand pulled at her coat sleeve, and Kara yanked her back around. She frowned at Lena in disapproval, a small crease forming between her eyebrows. “No,” Kara slowly said, before she seemed to find the courage to continue, “no, no, no, you don’t get to ask me to compromise my job and do something _illegal_ to help you get away with _your_ illegal activities. And you don’t get to get shitty and leave when I say no. Come on, Lena, you knew I wouldn’t say yes. Why did you ask? Why do you keep doing things that will make you get mad at me so you can leave? Is it so you can tell yourself that you don’t care about me?”

 

           Lena stiffened as Kara’s words rang true, and she was only just realising it herself because Kara had pointed it out. Opening and closing her mouth, Lena found herself speechless, and she slowly kicked her heels off again, finding herself a few inches shorter than Kara, who was stood incredibly close. Lena was struck by the fact that Kara wasn’t wearing any clothes under her robe, and her eyes darted down to the v where the robe crossed over. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looked up at Kara. “You’re right.”

 

           “I’m ri- oh,” Kara softly said, “well, um, just ... stay.”

 

           “Okay,” Lena murmured, reaching for her abandoned slice of pizza. She stepped backwards took another bite and chewed, watching Kara watch her. They both sat down on the stools, after Kara fetched them both something to drink, and they ate in silence for a few minutes, with Kara quickly demolishing half a pizza. Only the soft buzzing of the fridge, and a the quiet voices from the TV, could be heard, and Lena felt the tension growing. Any second she was going to snap and pull Kara across the table, tear the robe off and drag her to the bed. Slowly setting down her slice of pizza, Lena locked eyes with Kara, who opened her mouth.

 

           “How was your day?”

 

           The tension seemed to dissipate and Lena let out a relieved laugh, staring at Kara incredulously. Either she didn’t feel the tension, or she mistook it for awkward and felt the need to fill it. “How was my _day?_ Are we really doing this?”

 

           “Well, I mean, I’d like to hear about it, if you want to talk,” Kara hedged, giving Lena a wary look.

 

           “Fucking awful,” Lena bluntly replied, and Kara already knew why, so she didn’t feel the need to ask. They fell back into silence for a moment, and then Lena gently cleared her throat, “how was yours?”

 

           Kara gave her a disarming smile and launched into a story about the old lady she helped cross the street, the family of three she’d saved from a burning building, and the research on some kryptonite they’d been working on at the D.E.O. and Lena held her tongue as she listened to her babble on. She barely took a breath the entire time they ate, in fact, Lena would say that the only time she stopped talking was when she took a bite of food, but she didn’t complain; clearly Kara had a lot to get off her chest. Lena didn’t have to question why Kara wanted more than just sex - apparently she was lonely at home.

 

           They abandoned the pizza towards the end of the stack, and Kara easily carried Lena to her bed, setting her down in the middle of it and climbing on top. She peppered Lena’s jaw and neck with kisses, fumbling with the buttons on her shirt, until she had the front of it open. “What the hell!” Kara exclaimed, looking down at Lena in horror.

 

           Pushing herself up onto her elbows, Lena gave her a puzzled look, “what?”

 

           “What the hell did you _do_ last night?” Kara gasped, and Lena looked down at the mottled skin of her stomach. The finely etched lines of her muscles and ribs were covered in a collection of bruises, varying in from black to yellow and every shade in between.

 

           Lena let out a slight laugh, rolling her eyes as she gave Kara a grim smile. “Human traffickers down the docks near the bay. Twelve girls and five boys. Sick fucks.”

 

           “Christ, Lena,” Kara groaned, trailing her fingertips over the bruised skin, and pursing her lips, “have you given any thought to my offer? I don’t like to see you hurt, and I can help, really.”

 

           Arching an eyebrow, Lena smirked slightly. “First of all, I beat the shit out of them, and I’m fine. And I have given it some thought ... I don’t know though, Kara.”

 

           “But-“

 

           “Can’t we talk about it later?” Lena groaned, flopping back down against the pillows as she let out and exasperated sigh.

 

           Kara bucked her hips slightly against Lena’s, giving her a dissatisfied frown. “But we won’t, and you know it.”

 

           Rolling her eyes, Lena sighed again and started fumbling with the buttons on her shirt as she did it up. Scooting further up the bed, she sat upright, folding her arms over her chest and giving Kara a stern look. “Your help would be useful, but I don’t think you _should_ help,” Lena plainly told her, “you’re too scared to help me with my brother because you’ll be breaking the law, and I understand _why_ you can’t do that, but having your help to be a vigilante is just as bad. If you don’t want to get caught up in this mess, then you should stay away from me.”

 

           Kara’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, staring intently at Lena, and she hesitated slightly before replying, “when you say stay away from you ... do you mean _completely_ or just where our alter egos are concerned?”

 

           Barking a laugh, Lena gave her a wry smile, “considering the fact that you’re sat in my lap and about two minutes away from losing your bathrobe, I think _just_ our alter egos.”

 

           Blushing slightly, Kara ducked her head, and Lena brushed her hair back out of her face. Kara looked up in surprise at the tender gesture, and she gave Lena a soft smile. “Okay, but it’s an open offer. If you ever need my help, you know you only have to ask, right?”

 

           Lena nodded, and then she quickly shifted back down the bed and undid her shirt buttons, before leaving the rest to Kara.

 

\---

  
  
           They were lounging around on Kara’s bed, eating one of the leftover pizzas that had been reheated by Kara’s laser eyes, and Lena had her chain propped in her hand and her eyes half-lidded as Kara trailed her fingers over her bare back in random patterns. “But _why_ do you do it?” Kara asked again, and Lena sighed, licking the tomato sauce off her fingers.

 

           She rolled over and leant back on her elbows, her legs crossed at the ankles as she gave Kara an exasperated look. “I don’t know ... because I _do_. Why do _you_ do it?”

 

           Kara gazed up at the ceiling with a thoughtful look on her face, her lips pursed slightly and a small crinkle between her eyebrows. “I suppose it makes me feel whole,” Kara said after a few moments of deliberation, “it’s like ... I didn’t have these powers on Krypton, and then I suddenly did, and I had to hide them, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. It was in my blood - in my _bones_ \- and if I can use them to help people, then why not?”

 

           “Well I might not have powers, but it’s the same for me. I moved here as a teenager, and when I wasn’t at boarding school, I took martial arts classes. I learnt how do defend myself, and if I can use it to help other people, why not? It’s like I feel ... whole, almost, when I’m out there, keeping people safe. It makes me feel better. No one has ever thought better of me.”

 

           “I have,” Kara immediately blurted out, blushing slightly and trying to hide it by shoving a whole slice of pizza in her mouth. Lena let out a quiet laugh, shaking her head as she looked at her, and then flopped down onto her back. She closed her eyes to the white ceiling, lost in her thoughts for a few minutes while Kara chewed her food. “Lena?”

 

           “Mm?” she murmured, and Kara was silent for a few moments.

 

           “The night you came here ... you told me about Jack. Do you remember?”

 

           Lena’s eyes flew open and she felt her mouth go dry as she looked up at the ceiling; she couldn’t look at Kara. “Yes,” she rasped slightly.

 

           “I’m sorry you had to lose someone close to you,” Kara gently told her, and Lena didn’t reply. “I know he’s why you started ... _this_. I think it’s brave of you to carry on.”

 

           She felt her eyes burn, but she refused to cry; she couldn’t even remember the last time she had cried. “Thanks.”

 

           As cold and aloof as she tried to be, she couldn’t stop the waver in her voice, and she _hated_ herself for it. She hated that she still wasn’t over it, and that she was tormented by it - in her dreams, when she was awake, whenever she saw _him_. A part of her wanted to tell Kara, tell her all of it, but she couldn’t bring herself to make the words come. There was no way she’d understand; she would think that Lena was mad, or it would be too much for her to handle, and Lena didn’t want to lose her. For reasons she wasn’t even sure of herself, she didn’t want Kara to go; she didn’t want to be alone. Jack had been the only other person she’d been this close to - albeit in a different way - and losing him had been bad. To lose Kara ... Lena already had nightmares about it. She couldn’t imagine that grief counselling would help with a second loss.

 

           “I’m sorry,” Kara whispered, sensing Lena’s discomfort, “we don’t have to talk.”

 

           Letting out a tense laugh, Lena smiled and pushed herself up slightly to give Kara an incredulous look. “The girl who insisted that we talk when we have sex, _doesn’t_ want to talk? I’m shocked.”

 

           Rolling her eyes and giving her an embarrassed smile, Lena shrugged self-consciously. “Does it bother you, how much I talk?”

 

           “I’m getting used to it,” Lena muttered, and Kara tilted her head to the side, “sometimes it does.”

 

           “I’ll try and be better,” Kara earnestly assured her, “I can be quiet sometimes, really. I just ... some people don’t understand, you know? Well, especially for me, because of obvious reasons. It’s nice to have someone else who knows; I only have a few of them.”

 

           Lena felt a prickle of guilt and sighed softly, “Kara, if I didn’t want you to talk, I’d tell you to shut up.”

 

           Letting out a surprised laugh, Kara laid down beside Lena, on her back and staring up at the ceiling. “You know, your candor is very refreshing sometimes. It’s one of the things I admire most about you.”

 

           “And other times?”

 

           Hesitating, Kara turned to looked at Lena, who copied her. They were almost nose to nose, and Lena raised her eyebrows expectantly. Giving her a sheepish look, Kara smiled apologetically, “other times it just makes you an asshole.”

 

           Lena threw her head back as she laughed, surprised at Kara’s honesty, and she rolled over, right on top of Kara, and braced herself with her hands either side of her head. “Well, your candor is refreshing too. I can imagine a lot of people say it behind my back, but they never call me an asshole to my face,” Lena said with a lopsided smile, before leaning down and kissing Kara’s neck.

 

           In one fluid motion, Kara had switched their positions, and she grinned at Lena, “well I can’t let you _always_ be in control. Someone has to put you in your place.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my holiday is over so i'm back to semi-regular updates if i can get my ass to finish my assignments lmao

            Two days later, Lena was sitting in a crowded bar, nursing a half empty glass of some rum that Veronica was making her try, and listening to the other girl make her voice heard over the sound of the jukebox and raucous laughter. There was a group of college students playing darts in the corner, and a few lone bargoers drinking pints of peer and cider around the room. Lena had taken the night off and agreed to come back to one of Ronnie’s places after a long session at the dojo, and Lena had hesitantly agreed. She wasn’t used to going out, especially not with other people, but she had warily come along and parked herself down on a stool, letting Veronica fill her glass with rum and sit down next to her. They mainly spoke about martial arts, and Veronica gently probed at the topic of Lena’s vigilantism for a few moments, before letting it go. Lena was in the middle of listening to Veronica tell her about a new form of martial arts that she was practicing, when Lena felt a slight tap on her shoulder, and Veronica’s eyes looked past Lena to stare at whoever was behind her.

 

            Whirling around, Lena almost fell off her stool when she saw Kara standing there, her blonde hair windswept as if she’d just been flying. She gave Lena a hesitant smile, “hey, can I talk to you for a moment?”

 

            Climbing off her seat, Lena pulled Kara a few feet away from Veronica, leaning in close so she could keep her voice down. “What are you doing here?” she hissed.

 

            Kara pressed something cold into her hands, and Lena looked down at a small broken security camera. It was top of the range, and so small that it would be mostly unnoticed. She held out another one too, and Lena slowly reached out for it, turning them both over in her hands, before looking up to give Kara puzzled look. “Your brothers.”

 

            “Wha- Kara, I thought you were staying out of this,” Lena said, an uneasy feeling in her stomach at the thought of Alex finding out that Lena had roped her into this.

 

            Letting out a quiet laugh, Kara smiled at her, her eyes crinkling at the corners, and she nervously ran her fingers through her hair. “Um, I, uh, tore this off the side of a building. I found the one near the warehouse, and well, I thought I’d keep an eyes out for more. I figured that maybe if you, uh, had the make, model, and some tech to understand how it works, you might be able to track the others down. Technically I didn’t do anything illegal.”

 

            “Oh,” Lena murmured, before giving Kara a smile, “thank you.”

 

            “No problem,” Kara said, touching her briefly on the shoulder, “let me know if I can do anything else for you.” Lena smiled, giving her a small nod, and Kara lingered a moment longer, “well, I have to get back to, you know, so, um, let me know if you want me to come over later, or whatever.”

 

            “Okay,” Lena said, and Kara reached up and quickly pressed a kiss to her cheek, before turning and walking off, as if it was a habit in a hurry, leaving Lena staring after her for a moment. Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Lena walked back over to the stool, crouching down and adding the security cameras to her duffel bag, before straightening up and climbing back onto her seat. She caught the odd look Veronica was giving her and, hunched her shoulders self-consciously, “what?”

 

            Veronica shrugged casually, smiling slightly, “nothing. I just didn’t think you were into-“

 

            “I can like both,” Lena defensively said, sitting rigidly in her seat.

 

            “I didn’t think you were into relationships,” Veronica continued, and Lena let out a shaky laugh. She wasn’t dating Kara, but she guessed it was some form of relationship.

 

            Draining the rest of her rum, Lena slammed the glass down on the counter, before turning to look at Ronnie. “I’m trying it out.”

 

            Reaching over the bar, Veronica plucked a bottle of vodka from behind it and started pouring into Lena’s empty glass. “And how’s that working out for you?” she asked, smiling slightly as she raised her eyebrows.

 

            Lena hesitated, shrugging slightly as she took a sip of vodka, grimacing at the burning feeling. “She talks a lot. Sometimes she talks when I don’t want her to.”

 

            Letting out a surprised laugh, Ronnie gave her a wry smile, filling up her own glass and giving Lena an amused look. “Yeah, they do that sometimes. Still, I’m happy for you, kid. I didn’t think you’d get past- well, I mean, I know you two weren’t a _thing_ , but I didn’t think you’d even trust anyone again.”

 

            Cocking her head to the side, Lena looked at the sincere expression on Veronica’s face, and in that moment she realised that perhaps they _were_ friends. “I trust you,” Lena finally said after a moment, and Ronnie let out a quick laugh, giving Lena a sharp smile.

 

            “Well, it looks like she’s turning you soft,” she said, raising her eyebrows, “so, what’s her name?”

 

            “Kara.”

 

            “And what does Kara do?”

 

            Lena hesitated, draining the rest of her vodka, “she’s a scientist for some biological company. I met her through some mutual business.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, but she didn’t want Ronnie to get anywhere close to the truth. That was Kara’s secret to tell, not hers. Reaching for the vodka, Lena topped her glass up, and quickly drained it again.

 

\---

 

            She lurched down the hallway, the floor swaying beneath her feet, and Lena trained her eyes on the door at the and, on the right side of the hallway. It was already being pulled open as she approached, and she half flopped into Kara’s apartment, letting out a sound of surprise as her boot caught on the lip of the doorway and she tumbled inside. Kara steadied her, of course, and gently drew her all the way inside, before shutting her door.

 

            “Hi,” Kara said after a moment, and Lena’s head lolled to the side as she peered up at her.

 

            “Why are you here?”

 

            “Why am _I_ here?” Kara asked in surprise, “this is my apartment, Lena.”

 

            Letting out a dopey laugh, she gave Kara a confused look. “No, I was- I was going home. Why am I here?” Slowly leading her over to the sofa, Kara helped her flop down onto it and started taking off her boots for her. Lena’s bag tumbled to the floor with a thud, and she let out a small groan.

 

            “Did you get lost?” Kara softly asked her, and Lena frowned.

 

            “No, I-I took … I was in a cab,” Lena said, sounding confused. She’d paid the cab driver when he pulled up outside the building, and she’d let herself into the ground floor, stumbling up step after step without thought. The exposed brick walls and wooden floors were all familiar to her; she was somewhere safe. Even her drunken mind knew that Kara’s house was a safe place. “Did you tell me to come over?”

 

            Kara let out a quiet laugh, propping Lena up and helping her out of her coat. Lena looked at her through half-lidded eyes, watching the way that Kara carefully folded her coat and set it over the back of the sofa, before crouching down in front of Kara. “No, I didn’t, but you can stay here. I don’t want you trying to get home alone at this time of night.”

 

            “Oh,” Lena mumbled, her hands reaching out and grasping Kara by the front of her t-shirt. She was wearing pyjamas, and Lena let out a small laugh and the pattern of yellow ducks on Kara’s blue pants. Fumbling with the waistband, she tried to pull them down, and Kara let out a squeak of surprise.

 

            “No, not tonight, Lena,” Kara gently told her, carefully prying Lena’s fingers off the waistband and pressing a kiss to the back of one of them. “You should get some rest; I think you might be feeling a bit rough in the morning.”

 

            “Oh,” Lena murmured again, “okay.” She abruptly fell back against the pillows and lay with her eyes closed for a few moments, before they fluttered open at the feeling of Kara draping a blanket over the top of her, the moonlight streaming in through the window and illuminating the imperfect beauty of Kara’s ghostly face. Frowning, Lena stared past Kara, at the shadowy figure behind her. “Oh, fuck off.”

 

            Kara froze, her eyebrows rising in surprise, “wha-“

 

            “Not you,” Lena sighed, her eyebrows knitting together in a deep frown, “him.”

 

            Her eyes were fluttering closed, but she still saw Kara whip around faster than she thought possible, and saw the Kryptonian’s shoulders sag in relief when she didn’t find anyone stood there. Slowly turning back around, Kara knelt down beside Lena’s head and stroked her hair back with gentle fingers, “it’s okay, Lena. No one’s here. You’re safe.”

 

            “Jack won’t hurt me,” Lena sighed, and Kara fell silent. She didn’t see the look of concern in Kara’s eyes, or the questions that Kara bit back, and her eyes fluttered closed. Lena wasn’t aware of anything else after that; she was dead to the world, and she didn’t even feel the gentle kiss on her forehead, or the blanket being hitched up and tucked under her chin, before Kara went to bed.

 

            She didn’t stir at all until a few hours later, when the harsh sunlight started streaming in, falling across her face and blinding her to the point where she woke up, wincing and grumbling. Lena didn’t know where she was at first, her eyes streaming from the bright light, and the unfamiliar blanket pooling around her waist. The sofa beneath her was unfamiliar too, and she frowned as she wiped at her eyes, trying to blink back the tears.

 

            “Hi,” a hesitant voice said, and she whipped her head around to stare at Kara, who nervously hovered at the entrance to her bedroom.

 

            “What am I doing here?” Lena asked, her voice feeling scratchy. She cleared it slightly, running a hand through her tangled hair and smelling the alcohol and smoke that clung to her clothes.

 

            “I’m not really sure,” Kara said, giving her a small smile as she took a step towards the sofa, “you showed up just after midnight. Said you got in a cab and told them to take you home.”

 

            “Oh,” Lena muttered, trying to rattle her brain for any memory of it. She remembered Ronnie’s bar, and the burning vodka, and whiskey, _and_ rum, and the sticky leather seats of the old cab as she was bumped and shaken on the trip through the city, and then Kara’s gentle voice in the dark, and her hands tenderly holding Lena upright. She didn’t know why she’d come though. “Sorry.”

 

            Kara gave her another small smile, fiddling with the hem of her t-shirt, and Lena bit back a smile at the yellow ducks on the blue pants. Letting out a quiet laugh, Kara crossed over to the kitchen, her cheeks slightly pink. “It’s fine, and I’m glad my pyjamas still amuse you in the morning.”

 

            Lena let out a shaky laugh, swinging her legs over the side of the sofa and putting her head in her hands. A gentle nudge made her look up, and Kara pressed a glass of cold water into her hands, and a couple of pills for her headache. Giving her a grateful smile and murmuring her thanks, Lena washed the painkillers down, draining the glass and setting it on the coffee table before her. “What’s wrong?” Lena bluntly asked, seeing the anxious way Kara wrung her hands as she awkwardly stood in front of her.

 

            “Um, it’s just … you said something last night. I don’t want to pry, I just want to know if you’re okay,” Kara nervously said, slowly taking a seat next to Lena, who shuffled along the sofa to make more room for her.

 

            “Well, spit it out then.”

 

            “Just … don’t get mad, please,” Kara begged, an almost pained look on her face as she looked at Lena, who warily nodded, wondering what it was about. “You said … there was a man. You were telling him to go away, as if someone was there. And then you said that Jack- that he wouldn’t … hurt you.”

 

            Lena stiffened in her seat, the muscles in her jaw working as she clenched her teeth and stared down at her lap. “Drop it, please.”

 

            “Okay,” Kara quickly agreed, “I just … I wanted to make sure you were, you know, dealing with everything well.”

 

            Looking up at her incredulously, Lena felt a flicker of irritation, and forced it back down; she had promised not to get mad. “ _Dealing_ well? No, I’m not,” she said in a clipped tone, watching as Kara shrank back slightly.

 

            “I know,” Kara whispered.

 

            “Then why are you asking?” Lena snapped, fear taking hold in her heart and making her chest feel tight.

 

            Kara was silent for a few moments, her throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed, and Lena could hear her heart thundering in her ears as she anxiously waited for a reply. “Sometimes … sometimes you meet someone who requires all the love you have to give. If-if you lose that person who loves you, you think that everyone else will stop loving you too.” Lena was tense as she sat there, waiting for Kara to continue. “I think … I think that Jack was the only person who ever loved you. When he died, you shut yourself off ten-fold, and … I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t think you’re over him.”

 

            Lena blanched slightly, her face turning paler as Kara called her out in the middle of the living room. Slowly climbing to her feet, Lena lurched slightly, and then she ran for the kitchen, vomiting in the sink and coughing and she choked slightly. Kara was there behind her, brushing her hair back and murmuring gentle reassuring words, and Lena tore herself out of her grasp as she straightened back up. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

            “Lena-“

 

            “No,” Lena furiously whispered, “you don’t know anything. I’ve destroyed the best parts of myself trying to get over him, and I don’t need you telling me what I think and feel for him. You don’t know understand; I _choose_ this. I don’t want someone to love me, I just want to be left alone. This is what I deserve. I couldn’t-“ she choked off, her breathing ragged as she ran a shaky hand across the slight sheen of sweat on her forehead. She was about to lose it. “I couldn’t save him, and I don’t deserve better than this.”

 

            “You do,” Kara murmured, “you deserve whatever you want.”

 

            “Well then I want _this_ ,” Lena said, gesturing to herself. She felt like she was going to be sick again; she had to leave. Her eyes scanned the apartment, landing on her coat draped over the back of the sofa, and she hurried across the room to fetch it, and then came up with her boots and duffel bag. Kara wordlessly watched from the kitchen, a sad look on her face as she watched Lena stumble around in a panic, knowing that if she tried to help, then Lena would drag herself further away from her. It wasn’t anything personal, it was just how Lena was. This game they were playing was dangerous, and Lena wouldn’t let history repeat itself. She could take as many beatings as it required to take down her enemies, but it was her mind that was the greatest one, and she couldn’t fight it; she couldn’t fend off what another loss would do to her. Walking over to the door, Lena hesitated with one hand on the handle. “I want you to know that nothing has made me stronger than you. Thank you, Kara.”

 

            But in that moment, she felt weak, like the armour she had spent years cultivating was weakening, and she was going to fall apart. She couldn't do it in front of Kara though. She needed to get away so she could think things over, and decide what she truly wanted. Kara was right; she deserved whatever she wanted, and she wanted Kara, but at the same time, there was too much going on her life for her to fully handle the weight of a relationship - if it could be called that. She needed to figure things out, and for the time being, she had to do it alone.


	25. Chapter 25

            She left National City without a word to anyone, except Jess, who Lena told to take care of business and appointments while she was gone. She trusted Jess to reschedule things, and while she didn’t give an explanation, she knew Jess would assume it was a sudden business trip, because Lena was prone to suddenly leaving. Not for three weeks though.

 

            She’d gone to Metropolis, to the place where she’d grown up, and had spent all of her time there locked inside her hotel room or walking the hazily familiar streets. There was the ice cream shop her dad used to take her to when she came home from boarding school, and there was the hospital her mom had worked at while leaving Lena home with a nanny when she was too young for boarding school, and then there was the cracked and pitted car park of the gas station, where Lena would bribe older men to buy her cheap beer and cigarettes, and would have to try and sneak home without Lillian catching the telltale signs of smoke and alcohol.

 

            Mostly she just stayed inside though, because even those memories hurt. She’d had a life here until she was in her teens; she’d grown up here. She didn’t have friends, exactly, but she hadn’t been as alone. The friend came afterwards, with Jack, back in National City, and that was why she was here. Kara’s words had tormented her and dredged up things she never wanted to think about, and so she came to the one place she knew where everything that had happened to her wasn’t a physical reminder for her. She didn’t have to stare at the alleyway she’d watched Jack die in whenever she left the dojo, she didn’t have to walk past the DEO headquarters and think about the tenuous relationship she had with them, and she didn’t have to see Kara. It didn’t stop Kara from messaging her, just once, saying she couldn’t hear Lena’s heartbeat, and asking her to just let her know she was okay. Lena had ignored her.

 

            She wasn’t being cruel; it was self-preservation, and with it came distance from anyone who could even _remotely_ hurt her. Even Kara’s slight suspicion at what Lena had drunkenly told her - the knowledge that Kara _knew_ there was something more to her story - had rattled Lena, and she needed time to sort herself out. She needed time to re-evaluate what she wanted.

 

            What she wanted was to stop her brother, and what she wanted was to find out who killed Jack, and over the three weeks, with some trepidation, Lena realised that she wanted Kara too, and that terrified her utterly and completely. She wouldn’t call it love - she didn’t love _anyone_ \- but there was a need to be close to her, and not just a physical need anymore. It was something else; a sense of a kindred spirit. They were _so_ similar in many ways, yet they had come out different people at the end, and Lena wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing for them. She wasn’t in a good place, and she hadn’t been for a long while, and she couldn’t drag Kara into her mess. Even what they were doing now - and Lena was a bit unsure about what exactly it _was_ \- was a risk to Kara; a risk to her job and a risk to Supergirl. But something had to give.

 

            Lena caved first, and it was only because of what she found in her time away that she went crawling back to National City, and she didn’t go back for Kara, she went back for someone else. She’d traced the signal of her brother’s cameras to a building, where all of the information was being collected and stored, and she had to go and see for herself. Lena had to know what dirt he had, and she had to destroy it to keep herself safe. Straight from the airstrip, she caught a cab to her safe house, changed into her costume, and for good measure, took the small pistol out of a safe and strapped it to her thigh – she didn’t know what she would find there. She wasn’t a killer, but she needed to take all the precaution she could, because Lex would kill her if necessary. Ready to get back into things, Lena snuck out into the night and made directly for the address of the building she’d tracked down, coming upon a rundown apartment building on the outskirts of the city. The lenses of her mask illuminated the building in an eerie green light, scanning for any movement as she hid in the alleyway across the road. Two security cameras were on the building; one above the door, and another trained on the street for anyone in the vicinity. She threw something towards the bottom step of the building, before pulling up her sleeve, Lena exposed the metal cuff she’d created and pressed one of the buttons, shorting out the electronics within a fifteen-foot radius with the tiny EMP. Confident that it had worked, she quickly darted across the street before the systems could reboot, and broke into the building. Racing up the stairs as silently as possible, Lena made straight for the apartment on the third floor that she’d noticed had the windows boarded and blacked out, which wasn’t uncommon in this part of town, but it had definitely roused her suspicion and was as good a place as any to start.

 

            Luckily her suspicions were right, and as she jimmied a pick in the lock, the door swung open to reveal blinking lights in the dark, from dozens of servers with wires and leads connection it all. The room was packed with them, stacked floor to ceiling and running all of the security cameras that were connected to them, and Lena took a slow, measured step into the room, her eyes darting around for any signs of movement. Her lenses didn’t pick anything up. She was alone. Unsure of how much time she had, Lena pulled out a small hard drive that was in one of the pouches strapped to her belt, and quickly walked over to the computer sitting on a rickety old desk on the far side of the room. It didn’t have a password, and she couldn’t help but wonder which idiot didn’t have a password, so she plugged the USB in and started downloading all of the data. It was slow going, and she decided to scroll through the videos while she downloaded everything, keeping one eye on the door as she did so. One of the programs was a map, with tiny red dots for the locations of all the cameras, and with startling surprise, Lena looked at the dozens of them. There was one outside her apartment, and another outside L-Corp, of course, but then there was one outside the dojo, and another outside her therapist’s office. Then to her uneasiness, she saw one outside Jack’s old apartment, and another outside his father’s company, where he had been gearing up to take over as CEO, and then one outside the country club he’d frequented outside the city. There were half a dozen more in places where Jack had frequented, and with growing horror, Lena realized that Lex had been following _him_. Scrambling for the mouse, she went into the folders with all of the stored cameras, going through footage, until she found the cameras outside the dojo. It was placed to give a look at the door to it, and in the background, the alleyway where Jack was shot. Feeling her heart rate pick up, Lena swallowed the lump of fear in her throat, scared about what she might find, and scrolled through the hundreds of videos. They were recorded in twenty-four hour blocks, all the way back to way before Jack had died. Each one was dated, and Lena saw one with the date that Jack had died. Here, she might be able to find the information she’d craved for the past year, and the thought terrified her. She didn’t want to have to confront his killer; she didn’t know what she’d do.

 

            Still, she clicked on the video, watching as the grainy footage came up on the screen, and she skipped to that evening. Fast forwarding, she saw herself enter, and the dojo, and a minute of forwarding later, she saw Jack enter. Her heart seized at the sight of him, and Lena swallowed thickly, feeling her heart leap into her throat as she video sped onwards, and she knew that any minute, they’d come walking out together, like they had that night. And then there they were, with the door being pushed open by Lena, and Jack closely following her out. They were both smiling – Lena’s a little more subdued than Jack’s loving one – and she felt tears sting her eyes as she looked at him. She’d known how he felt; deep down she’d _known_ , and she was glad that she’d never felt the same way, because she was still strung up on losing her best friend, and she couldn’t imagine feeling more hurt than she did in that moment. There was a sharp pain in her chest as she watched him nudge her shoulder slightly, before he walked off, and she let out a shaky breath as she watched the way she gave him an absentminded wave, one hand digging around in her bag for the packet of cigarettes. She’d been too focused on calming herself down to even pay proper attention to him as he crossed the street, and Lena couldn’t even remember what had stressed her out that day. She only remembered losing him.

 

            Watching herself walk off the screen, a lighter in hand and a slight frown on her face, completely oblivious to the events that would take place only a few minutes later. And then she saw him. She found what she’d been looking for all this time; a man, dressed in black, with a small gun in hand slipped into the alley that she watched Jack slip into, and the video seemed to drag on. Lena knew what happened next – she still heard that gunshot in her dreams sometimes, followed by the sensation of warm blood coating her hands, and a shaky declaration of love -  and she let out a pitiful sound in the dark apartment as she tried to force back her pain. Lena quickly wound back the video, pausing it on the man’s face and taking a screenshot. Opening the photo, she zoomed in and squinted at the slightly fuzzy features of the man. He was plain looking, with short hair, a high forehead and a slight stubble on his jaw. Completely unassuming, and painfully average; she could’ve passed him in the street a dozen times for all she knew, and she had a nagging feeling like she’d seen him before.

 

            There was a click behind her, and Lena froze at the unmistakable sound of the hammer of a gun being pushed down. Her own hand itched near the gun strapped to her thigh, and she turned her head slightly to the side, not enough to see who it was. “You shouldn’t be here,” a man’s voice said, and she slowly turned around, her hands spread slightly so he could see she was unarmed.

 

            She felt like she’d been punched in the chest as she stared into the face of the man she’d just been staring at on the computer screen. It was Lex; he had had her best friend killed. It had been him who had triggered this whole series of events, and Lena felt a burning anger tear through her as her eyes stung with tears and she clenched her teeth. In one quick movement, she dropped to the floor and had the pistol in her hand, rolling to the side and up onto her feet before the other man could shoot her. With the gun trained on him, Lena willed her hands not to shake. “Tell me why I shouldn’t shoot you,” she hoarsely said, her voice coming out slightly robotic.

 

            “You know what your brother’s like,” the man carelessly shrugged, giving her a slow smile as if his words got him off the hook. He didn’t seem to understand who he was dealing with, and what he had done to her, and Lena’s anger spiked even more, and without even thinking, she shot him. She squeezed the trigger, giving in and sinking as low as the man she stared at; there was no forgiveness in her tonight. It was only in the leg, but he let out a scream of pain and collapsed to his knees, his hands wrapped around his thigh as red blood seeped out of the wound. “Lead,” he choked out, gritting his teeth as he fought back a scream of pain.

 

            Lena didn’t understand, and she didn’t care, she just took a step towards him, the gun levelled straight at his head, “the next one will be between your eyes, you fucking cu-“

 

            There was a crunching sound, and stone and plaster blew apart, showering Lena with a fine grey coating and making her stumble as she was peppered with debris. Cool air streamed in through the hole in the side of the building, and she didn’t have to look to know that Kara was standing there. “Stop!”

 

            Catching her balance, Lena adjusted her grip on the gun, her breathing ragged as she kept her eyes trained on the man cowering before her. His face was contorted in pain, and Lena took some satisfaction in the fear in his eyes. Steeling herself, she sucked in a ragged breath, almost choking on it as a small sob threatened to break loose; she didn’t want to do this, but she _wanted_ to. For closure, and for Jack’s sake, she had to do it, she had to make him _pay_. And then Kara was in front of her, one hand pressed against the end of the gun, blocking the bullet’s path to the man, and she was looking at Lena with alarm and concern, even though Lena refused to meet her stare. “Mon-El, what are you doing here?” Kara asked, and that’s when Lena’s head whipped up to see Kara’s head turned slightly to the side as she addressed the man on the floor. Lena’s mouth fell open in surprise, and she let out a small choked sound; Kara _knew_ this man.

 

            “I’m just doing my job,” the man gasped, “she sh-shot me, with _lead_.”

 

            Kara turned back to face Lena, who was frozen in place, feeling numb as she looked at Kara in betrayal. “Move,” Lena coldly told her, her voice deadly in the silent destruction of the room.

 

            “Wha- _no_ ,” Kara spluttered, “I’m not going to let you _kill_ him.”

 

            “Get out of the way, Kara,” Lena snarled.

 

            Kara pressed a hand to her ear, “Alex, I need backup here, please. Mon-El’s been shot – can you bring a medic? Okay, thanks.”

 

            “Get _out_ of the way,” Lena said again, taking a step towards Kara, until the distance between them shrank.

 

            “Lena, you _know_ I can’t let you do that,” Kara murmured.

 

            “You don’t understand,” Lena said, her voice cracking, and she let out a shuddering breath. Kara was making this worse; she just wanted it to be over.

 

            Kara slowing pushed the gun down towards the floor, and Lena was helpless to stop her because Kara was too strong. With a clatter, the gun fell to the floor, and Lena felt her breathing increase, until she felt like she couldn’t breathe in the room, and the walls were closing in on her. She knew that any minute she was going to panic and fall apart, and there was no way that Kara was going to let her kill him; she had to get out of there, she had what she came for. Turning around, Lena grabbed the hard drive and darted towards the door, her feet thundering on the wooden stairs as she ran down them two at a time. She burst out into the night and straight across the road, paying no attention to the security cameras this time, and disappeared into the dark alley just as three vans pulled up outside the building.

 

            Shoulders heaving as she struggled to breathe, Lena tore the mask off and sucked in a lungful of cold air. It did nothing to calm her down, and she gasped for air as she braced herself against the rough brick of the side of the building, her stomach twisting at the events of the night. The feeling of sickness welled up inside her, until Lena couldn’t hold back the vomit that rose up, filling her mouth with bitter bile, and she projected it across the wall. Letting out a breathless sob, she stumbled backwards, running a gloved hand across her mouth and wiping it clean, and falling back against the wall. It did nothing to help relieve the nauseous feeling inside, and she slid down the wall, crunching glass beneath her feet as her feet scrabbled at the ground. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she circled them with her arms, and shakily drew a breath in, and then out, and in again, trying to fight back the waves of panic washing over her. Everything was dark, and her thoughts rattled around inside her head, making it hard for her to concentrate on anything. She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a muffled sob as she failed to bite it back.

 

            “Lena?”

 

            Startling slightly, she pushed back against the wall, her feet sliding on the ground as she slid herself back up the wall, her eyes wide with panic and her skin deathly white. Kara was a few feet away, looking as oddly out of place as ever in her bright cape and boots, and nervously holding Lena’s gun in her hands. She didn’t know what to say, so she just looked at Kara, who was looking at her with concern. “Are you okay?”

 

            Lena let out a hysterical laugh at the question, her hands wrapping around herself as the laugh turned into a pitiful sob. Kara made to move towards her, but Lena skittered further down the alley, a wild look in her eyes as she looked back at Kara, holding a hand out to stop her. “Don’t.”

 

            “I couldn’t let you kill him,” Kara quietly told her, “it wasn’t right. He hasn’t done anything.”

 

            “He killed Jack,” Lena tearfully blurted out, her eyes burning as she blinked furiously. Admitting it out loud made it real; he had _killed_ her friend, and Kara had stopped her from avenging his death. She’d done all of this for Jack, and then for herself, but there was always the thought of getting revenge at the back of her mind. She’d missed her window.

 

            “Wha- no, he can't have,” Kara said, shaking her head as she knit her eyebrows together, “Mon-El, he’s just- he’s like me. He’s an alien. He helps out at the DEO sometimes, and yeah, sometimes h-he beats people up for money, but he’s not- he would never.”

 

            Lena looked panic stricken as she stared at Kara, feeling everything click into place. “He _works_ for the DEO? _He’s_ Lex’s inside man?”

 

            “He doesn’t _work_ there, as per se, he just … well, he’s always around helping when we need it,” Kara hesitantly said, “he wouldn’t have access to all of the systems. You’ve got the wrong guy.”

 

            Pushing off the wall, Lena threw herself at Kara, grabbing her by the front of the suit and propelling her backwards, and into the wall. They were almost nose to nose, and Lena had her hands balled in Kara’s outfit, her eyes shining with tears and blazing with anger as she looked up at her. “You _idiot_. Are you so stupid that you can’t put the pieces together? He’s working for my _brother_. That’s why h-he was there tonight, that’s why _I_ was there … to stop him. I tracked him there. I used the camera, the one you got me, and I _tracked_ it to this place, and he was on the footage. All of those servers … they have _everything_. All of the camera footage – all the way back to when Jack was killed, and guess who walked into that alley after him, and never came back out.”

 

            “Lena-“

 

            “No, you’re _wrong,_ ” Lena snapped, pushing Kara back against the wall and watching as her throat bobbed up and down. She looked scared – not for herself, but for Lena – and Lena froze, letting her go and stumbling back a step. She was shaking now, and ran a hand through her hair as she let out a shuddering breath, so close to breaking down. “Y-you don’t know what it’s like. You don’t know what’s it’s lik t-to lose everything.”

 

            “Yes, I do,” Kara quietly replied, and Lena sharply looked at her.

 

            “You don’t. You lost your planet a-and your family, but you didn’t lose _everything_. You didn’t lose yourself. Y-you have people who care about you – people who _love_ you – and me? What do I have? I-I have a mom who _hates_ me, a-and a brother who wants me dead, and I-“

 

            “What?”

 

            “I have _him_ , because I can’t make him go away,” Lena sobbed, pressing her fingertips to her temples as she squeezed her eyes shut, almost as if she was in physical pain. “I-I see him everywhere, all the time, and I can’t- I just need it to stop. I need it all t-to stop,” she said, her shoulders shaking as she cried. It was all too much, and watching the video had been the last straw, and for the first time since Jack had died, she fell to pieces and couldn’t hold back the tears.

 

            And then warm arms were wrapping around her, and Lena twisted and squirmed in Kara's arms, feeling the other girl's embrace loosen as she gave Lena the chance to draw back, but she didn't, because she was wrong, and she hadn't lost everything, and Kara cared about her. Almost sagging with relief at having someone to hold her close, Lena clung to her like a lifeline, burying her face in Kara's shoulder and sobbing gut wrenching sobs that wracked her whole body. She didn't see Alex appear at the end of the alley, coming to see where her sister had run off to, and she didn't see the shadowy figure lurking nearby for once. All she knew was warmth and comfort as Kara cradled her gently in her arms, running her slender fingers over Lena's hair and softly pressing her lips against her forehead in between murmured reassurances. She wasn't sure at what point she gave into the darkness lingering at the edges of her mind, but being enveloped by Kara, in the most intimate way Lena could imagine, was the last thing she remembered.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's something

            It took her a few minutes to realise where she was when she woke up. Heavy covers were pulled up to her chin, and she could feel the smooth fabric beneath her legs and realised that she’d been semi-undressed, she assumed by Kara, and put into her own bed. The room was dark, with the curtains closed, and she didn’t know what time it was or how long she’d been out. All Lena knew was that she’d been crying for a long time - her eyes felt gritty and they were raw - and she was filled with a tiredness that seeped into her very bones. Her heart ached, and she let out a shaky breath, covering her face with her hands, and letting out a small sob. Apparently she hadn’t cried enough, and last night had broken her, and she didn’t think she would be okay for a while.

 

            It wasn’t until her breathing stopped hitching that there was a gentle tap on the door, and Lena bolted upright in bed with a mortified look on her face. She knew it was Kara, and she knew Kara would’ve heard her crying, and Lena was grateful that she had stayed away and left her alone until she’d stopped.

 

            “It’s me,” Kara’s quiet voice came through the door, and Lena shifted into a more comfortable sitting position, “can I come in?”

 

            “Yes,” Lena hoarsely replied, and the door was gently pushed open and Kara poked her blonde head inside. She wasn’t wearing her glasses, but Lena could see some of her clothes that she must’ve stolen while Lena was sleeping.

 

            “I, uh, I made you breakfast,” Kara softly said, fully pushing the door open with the tray she held in her hands, “I know you might not be hungry, but you should try and eat something.”

 

            Lena nodded and kept her head ducked down as Kara walked over to her and gently placed the tray in her lap. Two fried eggs and some rashers of bacon were arranged into a smiley face on some toast, and Lena felt a sharp pain in her chest at the sight. “Thank you,” she croaked, clearing her throat and reaching for the glass of orange juice. She took a sip and placed it back down, steadying the tray as the bed jostled with Kara’s weight as she sat down. “Why’re you here?” Lena quietly asked.

 

            There was silence for a few moments, and she could almost feel the offence coming off Kara at the question, and Lena realised that of _course_ she would be here, because that’s just who she was as a person. “I didn’t want you to be alone,” Kara quietly replied, and Lena could see her fiddling with her hands in her lap from the corner of her eyes.

 

            Nodding, Lena picked up a piece of crispy bacon and took a small bite, even though she wasn’t hungry. Within minutes she’d eaten the entire contents of the plate, finding herself ravenous all of a sudden, and she washed it all down with the juice, before setting the tray down on the bedside table and staring down at her hands in her lap. She didn’t know what to say, and she swallowed several times, trying to dispel the lump in her throat, and Kara seemed to understand that she couldn’t speak, so she broke the silence first. “He’s been arrested,” Kara blurted out, and Lena jerked her head up, not caring if Kara could see the red rimmed eyes and slightly puffy face. “I told Alex to arrest him, and they’re going through the evidence now. She ... I asked her to take the fall for his gunshot, so you’re not in trouble. I think she felt bad.”

 

            “He’s been arrested?” Lena numbly asked, blinking at Kara in shock.

 

            “Yes.”

 

            “You believe me?” Lena asked, her voice cracking as she spoke, and a small frown gracing her face as she looked confused.

 

            “I believe you,” Kara assured her. Lena let out a breathless sob, covering her mouth with her hand. She’d found the evidence and she’d found Jack’s killer, and her long search to avenge his death was coming to an end. She’d kept her promise. No one had ever been on her side - except Jack, and maybe Veronica - but Kara _believed_ her. She nodded, unable to find the words to express her relief and her gratefulness, and she struggled to fight back tears as she sat there. “Is it okay if I touch you?” Kara asked, and Lena shook her head.

 

            Letting out a shuddering and looked up at her, blinking furiously as she frowned slightly, trying to keep it together. “Not right now.” She was grateful that Kara had asked, because if she touched Lena, she probably would’ve burst out crying, and it wouldn’t have been Kara’s fault, but it just would’ve been too much for Lena to handle right now.

 

            “Okay, just tell me what you need,” Kara gently pressed her, and Lena shrugged, rubbing at her sore eyes.

 

            “I don’t know,” she said, her voice scratchy and thick with emotion. It was a lot to process and she didn’t know what to think right now; she just wanted to lay in bed all day and scramble for the fragmented pieces of herself that had shattered last night, and somehow attempt to piece it all back together and hide the cracks. She couldn’t afford to lose it now; she had done what she said she’d do, and now she could finally breath. She could let go. Closing her eyes, she breathed slowly, before climbing to her feet and walking towards the bathroom.

 

            The hot water made her feel a bit better, even if it was borderline scalding and turned her pale skin red, but she didn’t change it because at least she could feel that. Kara came in towards the end, placing a pile of clothes on the counter, and Lena shut the water off and climbed out. Bringing over a fluffy towel, Kara wrapped it around her and gently rubbed Lena’s arms, before backing off and watching her with concern. Lena was mostly dry when she slowly walked over to Kara, keeping her eyes down, and stopped in front of her, dropping the towel to the floor and reaching out for the shirt that Kara wore. Balling up her hand in the fabric, Lena pulled her forward slightly, until they were almost pressed up against each other, but Kara gently pried her hands off the shirt and reached down, plucking the towel up off the ground and wrapping it back around Lena.

 

            “Not today, Lena,” Kara gently murmured, not unkindly, and Lena stumbled backwards at the feeling of rejection that ran through her. Turning around to hide the flicker of pain that ran across her face, she reached for the clothes and quickly started to pull on the pyjamas, ignoring Kara, who lingered behind her awkwardly. “Lena, please don’t be angry at me.”

 

            “I’m not angry,” Lena muttered, even though irritation welled up inside her at Kara’s words. Her emotions were all over the place, and she was angry and irritable and she didn't want to be treated like she was fragile; she wanted to rip the clothes off Kara's body and shove her up against the wall. She needed to  _do_ something to vent her pain and hurt, and she didn't want to do it through more crying. She was sick of crying.

 

            “I just- I think that you should … take it slow today,” Kara told her, and Lena slowly turned around, keeping her head down as she walked towards the door. Kara held a hand out to stop her walking past, and Lena paused, waiting for what happened next, and then Kara cupped her head in her hands and placed a gentle kiss to Lena’s forehead, before pulling her into a loose hug. Lena froze at the embrace, and with startling surprise, she realized that this was the first time she’d been hugged in _years_ , and with some trepidation, she slowly encircled Kara’s waist and returned the gesture. And then she let out a shuddering breath, which turned into a choked sob, balling her hands into the back of the shirt as she buried her head in Kara’s shoulder, listening to the quiet, comforting words and feeling Kara gently stroke her hair. “Tell me what I can do,” Kara asked her.

 

            “I just don’t want to be alone,” Lena sobbed, and the words were true and it surprised both of them.

 

            She felt Kara kiss the top of her head again, and the next thing she knew she was in her arms and being settled down back in bed before she could even register it in her mind. “I’m not going anywhere, zhao,” Kara murmured, and Lena didn’t even question the fact that she had no idea what Kara called her, she just let herself be tucked into bed and felt the mattress jostle as Kara perched on the edge of it.

 

            “Hold me, please,” Lena whispered, and then Kara was slipping under the covers, throwing one arm over Lena’s waist as she pressed up against her back. They were silent for a while, and Lena stared at the thin strip of light slipping through the curtains as she tried to process her feelings. Kara didn’t say a word, and she didn’t pressure Lena to say anything either, but Lena felt like she owed her an explanation; she owed her the truth. It wasn’t something she had ever wanted to share with anyone, but if she was going to tell someone, it was going to be Kara, because Kara believed her, and she trusted her, and Lena realized that she trusted Kara too. After everything they had been through, and all the walls she’d put up, she trusted Kara, and her walls were all but gone at the moment and she felt the need to just blurt it all out. Holding it together – holding it _inside_ – was exhausting, and Lena just wanted to be honest for once in her life. “I was a teenager when I moved her,” she began, her voice barely above a whisper, and she felt Kara stiffen slightly as she realized the weight of the moment. “Jack … his father was friends with my father because of his business. He was only two years older than me, and he … h-he was the only person I had. We spent a lot of time together – he was like the brother I never had with Lex – and he was so kind, and _good_. He wanted to make the world a better place, and f-for whatever reason, he thought that putting on a mask was the way to do it. I didn’t even really say goodbye to him that night. We left the dojo … I was too busy lighting a cigarette to even pay attention, but I heard the gun and I went to look. He … he was lying there, on the alley floor, and I called an ambulance and I tried t-to help. He told me he loved me, and I think that maybe I already knew that … but I never felt that way about him. Jack … he was the only person I had. I-I couldn’t save him and I just … I _left_ him there and I just- I went h-home. My mom found me three days later – I hadn’t moved the entire time – and she- I-“ and that’s where she faltered, and Kara didn’t say anything, knowing how hard it was for Lena, and she didn’t want to tell her when to stop. Lena would decide how much she told Kara. “I-I was in hospital … for a while. For grief. Things were … bad. I’m still- I’m _trying_ , but I’m not dealing well. He … I see him. I know I told you last night, but I didn’t explain – I wasn’t- … anyway, I-I still see him, and not … not in the way you think you see people in a crowd. When things get … bad, he’s _there_. I’m trying t-to stop, but I just- I don’t know h-how to make him go away. H-he’s all I had, and I just … I’ve been so _alone_ , and I don’t know how not to be. I don’t have anyone.”

 

            Her voice shook the entire time, she felt tears well up in her eyes as she finished talking, and her heart pounded in her chest as fear took hold. Kara hadn’t said a word, and Lena was terrified that she would climb out of the bed and just walk out, even though she knew she was being irrational. She couldn’t help herself from thinking like that – she couldn’t stand to live with herself half of the time, how could she expect someone else to? – but then she felt Kara’s hand move, until it was directly over her thundering heart, and she felt slight pressure on her shoulder and knew that if she turned to look, Kara would be pressing her lips to it. “You have me,” she whispered, and Lena let out a sob of relief, trying to muffle the sound as she pressed her face into the pillow. “You’re not alone – never – and I won’t leave unless you ask me to.”

 

            “I don’t want you to,” Lena said, “but … you can’t take his place.”

 

            “Shh, it’s okay, I don’t want to take his place. I can never be what he was to you, and I’m _so so_ sorry that you had to go through this, Lena, but I won’t let you feel alone again. I know that it’s hard for you … but whatever you need, you know I would always help you. I don’t know what he was like, and I know I can’t replace him, but I can be there for you like he was.”

 

            “You’re not him, Kara, and he wasn’t you. I know what we were, and I know what we weren’t, and w-we weren’t … he and I weren’t what you and I were,” Lena said, her voice cracking as she spoke, “I was never in love with him – he was never anything _more_ – b-but you … god, you don’t deserve _anything_ I’ve put you through. Y-you deserve better than what I can give you.”

 

            “I don’t want better,” Kara murmured, “I just want you. All of you. The good parts, and the bad parts, and the anger and the distance and the stubbornness. I’ll take it all, and I’ll help you through this, if you’ll let me.”

 

            Lena let out a shaky breath, feeling a tear slip out and run down the side of her face and onto the pillow. “I don’t know how to fix myself.”

 

            “It’s okay,” Kara gently told her, “I know loss is hard - I _know -_  but I also know that it takes time, and it can be painful and so so tough. You don’t have to go through it alone anymore though; you don’t have to hide your grief, or what you’ve been through.”

 

            “And what about your sister?”

 

            “She doesn’t matter in this,” Kara quickly assured her, “all that matters is you.”

 

            “And you,” Lena whispered, and she felt warm fingers brush her hair out of her face, and the gentle graze of warm lips just underneath her ear. There was a sense of weightlessness as she lay in Kara’s arms, and a sense of being understood, and she knew that Kara _did_ understand. Maybe not exactly, but she knew loss and she knew pain and suffering, and just for a moment, Lena didn’t feel quite so alone.


	27. Chapter 27

            “Lena?”

 

            The muffled voice floated through the closed office door, and Lena saved her word and rolled the chair back, before climbing to her feet. Kara was already following the sound of her heartbeat, and had her hand raised to knock when Lena yanked the door open.

 

            Giving her a small smile, Kara wrinkled her nose slightly, “morning. How’re you feeling?”

 

            “Fine,” Lena curtly replied, feeling somewhat embarrassed about her emotional breakdowns over the past two days. Her walls were somewhat pieced back together and patched up, and Kara’s smile faltered slightly at the distance that Lena put between them in just one word.

 

            “How long have you been up? You look like you haven’t slept,” Kara said, tilting her head to the side as she took a step back and watched Lena brush past her. Shutting the door, Lena shrugged and ducked her head down so that Kara couldn’t see her face.

 

            “I haven’t.” She’d been exhausted and drained from crying and juggling half a dozen different emotions, but she’d lain beside Kara for hours and couldn’t sleep. Even though she’d been exhausted, the thought of sleeping beside someone left her staring at the wall, wide awake and unable to relax enough to even close her eyes. She didn’t like sleeping beside people – even that one time at Kara’s place had left a funny feeling in her stomach – and so she’d slipped out of bed the moment that Kara’s breathing had slowed, not wanting to kick the Kryptonian out after she’d spent all day talking with Lena and trying to muddle through the mess of emotions. Lena was embarrassed that she’d been so dependent on Kara yesterday, because she’d never been dependent on _anyone_ , and for all their closeness, she’d never even depended on Jack when he’d been all she had. This was something else, and it left Lena feeling odd, and as she walked towards the kitchen, she felt a sharp pain in her chest that made it hard for her to breathe. “Anyway, so, um, you can have breakfast before you leave.”

 

            Kara was silent as she followed Lena to the kitchen, and gently turned her around and propelled her towards one of the stools. “I’ll make it.”

 

            Lena nodded, and silently sat there, glancing up at Kara every so often as she watched her comfortably make her way around the kitchen. It struck her as odd every time, because Lena didn’t even feel like home in her house, but Kara looked at ease as she pulled flour and milk and and eggs out of the cupboard. Fifteen minutes later, there was a pile of pancakes sitting in front of Lena, drenched in maple syrup and sporting just enough strawberries and banana to make her feel less guilty about having so much sugar that early in the morning. Murmuring her thanks, she cut into them and watched as Kara started making her own, and Lena was scraping the plate clean by the time that Kara had finished making a dozen for herself. Sliding off the stool, Lena carried her plate to the sink and dumped it in there, before turning on the coffee machine so that she could wake herself up properly. No sleep had been a bad idea, but she’d managed to get ahead on some paperwork, which would make her job easier when she had more time for all of the rescheduled meetings. Walking over to the stove, she picked up the already full plate and handed it to Kara, not meeting her gaze as she did so. “Eat. I’ll make the rest.”

 

            Taking the plate, Kara disappeared from her side, and Lena took her spot in front of the frying pan and added more batter as she listened to the sound of a stool being dragged out. The only sound was the drip of the coffee machine and the quiet sound of the gas of the stove, and Lena found the tension building. She didn’t know what to say. For once, it seemed like Kara didn’t either – or she was too busy eating – so Lena just made her pancakes in silence, and placed another stack in front of Kara when the batter ran out.

 

            Not feeling the need to explain herself in her own home, Lena silently left Kara to her breakfast and went to quickly shower, reemerging ten minutes later wrapped in a fluffy robe and feeling a little less like a zombie. Kara turned and gave her a small smile from in front of the sink, where she was doing the dishes, and she nodded towards a mug sitting on the counter. “Your coffee is done.”

 

            “Thanks,” Lena muttered, walking over and picking it up. The coffee was bitter, but she drained it in moments, refilling it from the pot and leaning back against the counter as she watched Kara. Neither of them said anything, until Kara pulled the plug out, letting the water drain out as she rounded on Lena, who was still nursing her second cup of coffee.

 

            “I, uh, should be getting home for work,” Kara told her, and Lena nodded as she briefly met her blue eyes. “Try and take it easy, okay?”

 

            “Sure,” Lena murmured.

 

            Kara hesitated, before taking a step towards her, and she hesitated slightly, before leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to Lena’s cheek. She pulled back quickly, and her hand fluttered up to adjust her non-existent glasses as she blushed, and Lena had to duck her head down to hide her own rosy cheeks. It was a sweet gesture, and it was more intimate to Lena than sleeping with Kara, and after everything that had happened over the past two days, she found herself growing awkward at just a simple kiss. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

 

            She nodded, still looking down at the coffee in her hands, and listened to the sound of Kara speedily changing into her suit and stepping out onto the balcony. Within moments, she was gone, and Lena let out a shaky breath, feeling some of the tension fade away as Kara left her far behind.

 

\---

 

            “Jess? Can you bring me the reports on the lab research for the latest update on the new alloy they’re working on?” Lena asked, scribbling away at the paper in front of her as her assistant placed down a thin stack of files on her desk. Lena thanked herself for staying up all night doing paperwork, because she knew that the pile would be a lot bigger if she hadn’t – even if she was struggling to keep her eyes open now – and as Jess murmured an assurance that she would get it done, there was a quick tap on the window behind Lena.

 

            Spinning around in her chair, she blinked in surprise at the sight of Supergirl standing on the balcony, and quickly scrambled to her feet, fixing her skirt as she shot Jess a look. “Never mind, you can go now, Jess. Thank you,” Lena dismissed her, and the other girl quickly retreated, her eyes wide as she looked at Kara through the glass. As soon as her office door clicked shut, Lena was yanking open the one to the balcony, which was already unlocked, and stepped outside, opting for some fresh air than to bring Kara into her office.

 

            “What’re you doing here?” Lena brusquely asked, skipping the niceties.

 

            “I heard your heartbeat,” Kara said, giving Lena a slightly disapproving look, “I thought you were going to take it easy.”

 

            Lena let out a quiet laugh, walking over to the edge of the balcony and leaning against the low wall as she looked out at the city. “I’m not a child, you know. I don’t need a babysitter.”

 

            “I’m not babysitting,” Kara quickly corrected her.

 

            “Then how come you were keeping tabs on me the other night too, huh?”

 

            There were a few moments of silence, and Kara leant her back against the low wall, tilting her face up towards the weak sunlight and closing her eyes. She let out a soft sigh, and Lena glanced up at her, arching an eyebrow even though Kara couldn’t see her. Suddenly eyelashes fluttered and Kara was intensely staring at her with such blue eyes that Lena had to look away. “Yes, I’ve been keeping tabs on you, but it’s not because I think you need babysitting. I just … I can’t help myself, and I do it with Alex too because … I care about you. It’s not just you – it’s Alex and Lucy, James and Winn, and it just, I don’t know, gives me some piece of mind to hear everyone’s steady heartbeats and know that they’re safe. The other night though … it wasn’t steady, and I knew something was wrong. I’m glad I did.”

 

            Lena frowned slightly, turning her head so she was looking in the complete opposite direction to Kara. “Well … okay.”

 

            “Okay?” Kara breathlessly laughed, “that’s it? You’re not going to be mad and tell me to mind my own business?”

 

            Letting out a quiet laugh, Lena turned to give her the tiniest smile, “no, I’m not mad, and you stopped me from doing something I think I would’ve regretted.”

 

            “Would you have?” Kara asked, tilting her head to the side as she curiously looked at Lena.

 

            Pressing her lips together in a thin line, Lena turned her attention back to the city and frowned slightly. They were high enough up that the mild day left the wind blowing her hair around her face, and Kara reached out to brush it back for Lena, whose face softened slightly at the gesture. “I would’ve. I’m … actually, I don’t know how I feel. Angry, sad, furious and upset and _relieved_ , and I think that if I- if I had _done that_ , I think I would be afraid of what that would make me. That it might … make me like my- my brother.”

 

            “You’re not like him,” Kara quickly assured her, and Lena swallowed the lump in her throat.

 

            “But I could’ve been. I shot him in the leg, as it is, and I don’t … I don’t know if I would’ve stopped _myself_. I couldn’t think, and that loss of control … I haven’t felt that since Jack died. I-I don’t- I don’t want to go back … _there_ again. My mom, well, she wouldn’t have a problem putting me back _in_ , but I can’t go back there. Being back on that edge of going all the way back into that … I’m scared, Kara. I don’t know what’ll happen to me if I go back into that.”

 

            “Hey, it’s okay, you’re not there,” Kara quietly told her, “you brought yourself back from that. If- if you don’t want to go back there, then I won’t let her take you, but if you need … help, I’ll help you get it. I just want you to be okay, Lena.”

 

            She let out a shaky laugh, looking at her hands as she fiddles aimlessly with her fingers, and smiled to herself. “I’m okay, Kara. I don’t need anymore help – I’m already getting some. I just … I don’t know. Maybe things will be better now, because he’s in custody. That’s _something_.”

 

            “He won’t get away with it,” Kara said, “I was at work this morning, and they’ve got enough for _that_ , and they’re looking for more. If we’re lucky, we’ll take down everyone behind this, and you’ll be safe from you brother. You won’t have to be hypervigilant all the time – you won’t have to be _afraid_ – but either way, I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

 

            Lena nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat as her eyes burned. “You should get back to work.”

 

            A gentle touch on her shoulder made Lena look up, and she grimaced slightly in reply to Kara’s warm smile. “Is it- is it okay if I come over tonight?”

 

           Nodding, Lena gave her a slight smile, “I’ll order Chinese food.”

 

\---

 

            The balcony door slammed shut, and Lena looked up from the laptop screen, frowning as she turned to look at Kara, who was hours later than expected. She was already pissed at her, and the table was dotted with unopened white takeaway cartons that she’d bought for Kara. Her expression quickly turned to one of surprise as she took in the unfamiliar black suit that Kara was wearing. It had the same Kryptonian symbol on it and Lena arched an eyebrow at her as she watched Kara stride towards her, shoulders back and an almost arrogant tilt to her chin.

 

            “Hi,” Lena said, leaning back in her seat as she looked at Kara.

 

            “You don’t sound very excited to see me,” Kara pouted, “I thought we were going to have _fun_ tonight.”

 

            “Fun?” Lena asked, a slight curl to her lips, “don’t we always?”

 

            Kara let out a loud laugh, “is that what you call yesterday? Because that’s not exactly what I had in mind, and maybe I should just leave if I’m in for another round of it.”

 

            Slowly closing the laptop, Lena gave her a wary look, because she knew that Kara would never say something like that to her in such a way. “Is everything okay, Kara?”

 

            “Better than ever, _darling_. You see, I’ve realized what it is between us, and I know the truth now, and it’s that I’m _better_ than you.”

 

            Lena let out a snort of laughter, rolling her eyes as she climbed to her feet and stood across from Kara, her arms crossed over her chest. “And how’s that?”

 

            “I’m everything you want to be, right? My parents … they were like your family, but _I,_ well, I overcame that, but you … you’re still a scared little girl who’s afraid of turning out like her mom. It’s why you keep coming back, isn’t it? Because you need someone to make you feel _better_ , to make you feel like you’re worth something, and the sad truth is, we’re not so different, you and I, but you’ll _never_ be me.” Lena stiffened at Kara’s words, as they rang true, and she clenched her teeth in anger, even though she knew that it wasn’t Kara. She didn’t know what was happening, but this wasn’t _her_ Kara, and she didn’t have to see the red veins running across her skin to know it, but she saw them anyway, and Lena knew that something was wrong. It took everything inside her not to snap, and not to take her words to heart, because she knew that Kara would _never_ say these things to her, but there was the stinging pain as each word hit her like a slap in the face. It was all true.

 

            “You’re jealous of me, aren’t you, Lena? Of what I can do. You can’t fly, and you can’t stop a speeding car, or put out massive fires … hell, you can’t even _save_ everyone. You hate me for that, don’t you? Deep down, you hate that I’m everything you’re not, but having me … that’s the next best thing, right?” Lena swallowed the lump in her throat as she watched Kara slowly walk towards her, a smirk playing on her lips as she stared at Lena with burning eyes. It was a look Lena had never seen on Kara’s face before, and she couldn’t stop herself from feeling the need to slam her down on the table and tear her suit off her. Kara’s smile grew wider, until she was stood directly in front of Lena.

 

            Lena matched her gaze, her own stare slightly frosty, and she arched an eyebrow slightly, “my brother always said Kryptonian’s were narcissistic, but I didn’t think you had it it you. I guess maybe you’re wrong, and you really _do_ take after your parents.”

 

            A harsh surprised laugh slipped past Kara’s lips, and she leant in, her lips grazing Lena’s earlobe as she whispered, “you like it, admit it.” Lena let out a shaky breath and jumped slightly as Kara’s teeth grazed her ear, hearing the other girl’s quiet laughter.

 

            Drawing back slightly, and putting some distance between the two of them, Lena gave Kara a wry smile, “I actually have a thing for librarian looking nerds. Too bad.”

 

            “Oh you don’t mean that,” Kara said, raising her eyebrows slightly, and Lena laughed in her face.

 

            “Maybe next time, Kara,” she said, turning around and biting her lip as she walked over to the liquor cabinet, “can I get you a drink though? Scotch? Vodka? I have an unopened bottle of tequila you’re welcome too – it’s not really my kind of thing.”

 

            And then Kara was pressing up behind her as Lena held a bottle of whiskey in her hand, pushing her against the counter and brushing Lena’s hair away from her neck, “and what _is_ your thing? Hm?”

 

            “Right now? Sleep,” Lena coolly replied, “I’ve been waiting half the night for you to show up, and in case you forgot that I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

 

            “And for all the wrong reasons,” Kara sighed, and Lena turned around, finding herself face to face with Kara, and feeling slightly intoxicated just from how close her lips were. As she watched, those lips lowered onto hers, and she froze as Kara’s tongue skimmed her lips and then her teeth gently bit down on Lena’s bottom lip, and then Lena was tearing herself away, sharply turning her head to the side. Raising her glass of whiskey to her lips, she took a sip and tried to calm her pulse down.

 

            She drained the rest of the glass and set it down on the counter behind her, before looking up at Kara. “You’re not you; go home.”

 

            “And if I don’t?”

 

            “Then stay and be quiet, because _I’m_ going to bed,” Lena icily replied, brushing past her and storming towards her bedroom. She wasn’t in a good mood to begin with, and she was too tired to deal with Kara and whatever was going on with her right now, but she knew that the better option was having her stay or go home, because at least then she wouldn’t be let loose on the city in her state. Stripping off her clothes, Lena pulled back the sheets and climbed into bed in her underwear, fussing with the blankets and getting comfortable as Kara watched from where she hovered in the doorway. Lena stared at her for a few moments, and then Kara reached out for the door handle and closed the door, her boots loud on the tiled floors as she walked through the apartment. Lena tried not to think about whether she had stayed of left, she just turned off the light and buried her face in her pillow, and that was the last thing she knew.

 

\---

 

            She slept later than expected the next morning, but it was still early enough so she wouldn’t be late for work, and Lena had a quick shower and dressed in a silk shirt and pants, before walking out to the kitchen. Setting a pot of coffee on, she walked over to her office and slipped inside for a moment to fetch some of the files she’d brought home with her, and when she walked back out she bit back a yell of surprise. Kara was sprawled out on one of the sofa’s, fast asleep in the black suit, with her blonde curls splayed out on the pillows. Lena had assumed that she’d left last night, because there were no sounds of anyone in the apartment when she’d woken up, and Kara was usually up relatively early.

 

            Frowning slightly, Lena moved slower and quieter as she made her way back to the kitchen and set the files down on the counter and flipped open the one on top. Scanning the page while she waited for her coffee to brew, she almost jumped out of her skin at the loud knock of the door. Hesitantly, Lena crept down the hallway, slipping into a slight crouch as she did so, just in case, and she slowly pulled open the door. It was Alex, and Lena’s face must’ve shown her surprise, because she’d thought they were done; they still had their deal going, and Lena hadn’t done anything wrong, and she wondered why Alex would be here.

 

            “Yes?”

 

            “I’m looking for Kara,” Alex told her, shifting uncomfortably, “she was at the apartment helping sift through evidence with the rest of the geek squad and one of them found some red kryptonite. She didn’t touch it, and she got out of there before anyone could know, but I haven’t seen her since and she won’t answer her phone. Have you seen her?”

 

            Lena hesitated, before nodding and holding the door open for Alex to come inside, “she showed up here. She was actually kind of an asshole, but I didn’t want her to get herself into more trouble so … yeah. She’s still sleeping.”

 

            “Oh for fuck’s sake,” Alex muttered, her jaw muscles clenching for a moment and Lena let out a surprised laugh that made Alex look at her in shock.

 

            “Not like _that_ ,” Lena snorted, “she’s on my sofa.”

 

            Alex gave her a sheepish look and nodded, following Lena out of the hallway and into the the kitchen. They could see Kara on the sofa from where they stood, and Lena gestured vaguely towards her, and she saw Alex relax slightly. Watching as Alex walked over to Kara and leant down to shake her awake, Lena poured herself some coffee and pulled out two other mugs while she was at it, filling them up as well.

 

            It took a few minutes for Kara to stir, and she was groggy as she sat up, blinking at the harsh sunlight streaming in and blinking back tears as her eyes streamed. She looked down at herself and frowned, before her eyes darted up to meet Lena’s and there was no mistaking the ashamed look that crossed her face. “I’m sorry.”

 

            “Don’t worry about it,” Lena muttered.

 

            “No, I will,” Kara said, climbing to her feet and brushing past Alex, reaching out to give her sister’s arm a quick squeeze to assure her that she was fine, “I really am sorry, Lena. I was …”

 

            “Rude, nasty, narcissistic, bitchy, cold, mean,” Lena rattled off, and Kara winced with each word, as if Lena had physically slapped her, “don’t worry, I’ve had all of that and more from my mother and brother. It was actually quite a surprise; I didn’t think you had it in you, even with the red kryptonite in your system.”

 

            Scratching the back of her neck as she awkwardly stood on the other side of the counter, Kara looked down, focusing on the folders scattered across the unit. “I didn’t mean any of it.”

 

            Lena shrugged, taking one of the mugs and setting it down before Kara, who gratefully accepted it and took a sip. “Yeah, well, even if you did, it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. It was all true in some sense of the word. Especially the part about how I couldn’t save my dead friend; that was a nice touch.”

 

            Kara winced again and Lena rolled her eyes, watching as her cheeks turned red. “I didn’t- I’m sorry, I-I know that things are still fresh from the other night, and I’m sorry that I came here and brought it all back up. I don’t know why I did, but I’m sorry anyway. I didn’t mean it, and it’s not your fault, and I promise I’ll do everything to make sure Mon-El pays for everything he did.”

 

            “Uh, slight problem,” Alex piped up from her position near the sofa, and both girls jerked their heads towards her, almost having forget that she was there, “he’s dead. Someone snuck into one of the DEO cells and injected him with some lead, which is deadly to Daxamites. We think it might have been an order from someone higher up in your brother’s organization, trying to tie up loose ends, but that just means this is going to be a whole lot bigger than we thought.”

 

            “H-he’s dead?” Lena asked, a wary look on his face as her heart started racing.

 

            “Disintegrated before my very eyes, the spineless bastard,” Alex said, and Lena was surprised by the hatred in her voice. “He got what he deserved, but I’m bitter that it’s going to take a lot longer to cut the head off the snake without a witness.”

 

            Lena smiled slightly, “the snake being my brother?”

 

            “The one and only,” Alex coolly replied, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared hard at Lena, “are you in?”

 

            “I’m in.”


	28. Chapter 28

            Lena couldn’t help much with the official investigating and reconnaissance, so she went to work and pretended like everything was fine; fine with Kara, fine with her breakdown over Jack, fine with her brother trying to kill her, and fine in every other sense of the word. She went to the three meetings she had scheduled, and closed a deal with another company, and by lunchtime, she was running out of work to do. In a spur of the moment decision, she grabbed her coat and bag, told Jess to keep an eye on things, and then she was riding the elevator downstairs.

 

            She slipped into the driver’s seat of her car, turning the key in the ignition and pressing her foot down on the accelerator as she sped out of the garage. The thought had been nagging her all day, and she had to know, so she’d decided to bite the bullet and take matters into her own hands as much as she could. Deciding to keep Kara out of it, she made her was across the city and parked outside a tall building. The sun reflected off the glass, making the whole building blindingly white, and Lena scowled up at the logo at the top of it as she slid out of the car and slammed the door shut behind her. Smoothing her hand over her pants, she hitched her hand bag over her shoulder and locked the car, before striding towards the building. Her heels were loud as they clicked on the tiled floor in the lobby, and the receptionist blinked in surprise as Lena walked in, ignoring her as she climbed to her feet.

 

            “Excuse me, Miss Luthor, she’s-“

 

            “Save it,” Lena coolly threw over her shoulder, walking over to the elevator, “just tell her I’m here.” The doors slid open and she climbed in, pressing the button as she watched the receptionist scramble for the phone to warn Lillian of her daughter’s arrival. It was a quick trip upstairs, and as Lena stepped out of the elevator, she cast her mom’s assistant a quick look, taking some satisfaction in the startled look as she held a phone to her ear and stared straight at Lena.

 

            Lena ignored the girl – a different one to the last time she’d been here, almost two years ago now – but the girl definitely knew her, and quickly ran around from behind her desk, trying to cut Lena off. “I’m sorry, Miss Luthor, but you can’t go in without an appointment.”

 

            “Is she in?” Lena asked, giving the girl a withering stare and watching as the girl shifted uncomfortably beneath it. She gave Lena a small nod, and Lena gave her a sharp smile, “then I’ll see myself in.”

 

            Without waiting for a reply, Lena brushed past her and walked towards the office door, pushing it open without knocking and startling Lillian, who looked up from the microscope in surprise. Her face settled into a look of contempt, and she smirked slightly at her daughter. “By all means, come in.”

 

            Lena scoffed, rolling her eyes as she walked over to Lillian’s lab table. There were samples spread around the counter, and she watched as her mom replaced the one on the microscope with another one, leaning down to press her eye to it and observe the sample. Picking up one of them, Lena squinted at what she was looking at, trying to make sense of it, and it was torn out of her hands a moment later, with an admonishing look off her mom. “You shouldn’t touch what isn’t yours.”

 

            “What’s Lex up to?” Lena asked, cutting straight to the chase so she could leave as soon as possible. She fingered the small device in her pocket, looking around at the cameras in all four corners of the room. It should be strong enough, if she needed to use it.

 

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lillian haughtily replied, and Lena clenched her teeth together in anger, her patience wearing thin. She was tired of games, and she didn’t want to indulge her mother in this e, so she pressed the button on the device, shortcircuiting all electronics in the room with the electromagnetic pulse, and then reached into her bag. The click of a bullet entering the chamber was audible in the startlingly quiet room, and Lena pointed it at her mom.

 

            Lillian’s lips curled up into a smile, and she arched an eyebrow at her daughter. Lena didn’t waver at all as she gave her mother a hard stare. “No games and no lies; tell me what he’s up to.”

 

            “I don’t know,” Lillian replied, sounding bored as she picked up another slide and went to switch it, before she realized that the light on the microscope wasn’t on because Lena had shortcircuited it with the EMP. Sighing, she set the sample slide down and braced herself on the edge of the workbench, narrowing her eyes slightly at Lena. “What’s wrong?”

 

            “Just answer the question,” Lena snapped, adjusting the grip on her gun. She wasn’t sure what she would do if her mom didn’t answer them; they both knew that Lena wouldn’t _actually_ shoot her, but after the emotional rollercoaster of the past few days, Lena was starting to question whether or not she _would_. After all, she was already there with a gun pointed at Lillian, and all it would take was a little pressure on the trigger.

 

            “You seem … unstable. Are you still going to therapy? Do you need me to write you a prescription for pills again?”

 

            Lena let out a frustrated groan, lowering the gun slightly, “I’m _fine_ , and you can cut the shit; we both know you don’t _actually_ care about me. Just tell me what he’s up to so I can stop him.”

 

            “I don’t know what he’s up to,” Lillian shrugged, “he has his own agenda.”

 

            “And I’m supposed to believe that he hasn’t confided a single solitary piece of information in you on one of your little visits to see your precious golden boy?” Lena asked, letting out a cold laugh, “I don’t buy it. The truth now, please.” She raised the gun again, and Lillian tilted her head to the side.

 

            “Maxwell Lord,” Lillian said, after a moment. “The man in the container with you was Maxwell Lord. That should be enough for you.”

 

            Blinking in surprise, Lena lowered the gun, clicking the hammer back into place and putting the gun back in her handbag. She hadn’t expected her mom to give her something _that_ big, even if it only was a name, and Lena wondered what her angle was. “The owner of Lord Technologies?” Lena asked, looking suspicious, “why would he be in the container with me.”

 

            “Well I guess you’ll have to figure that out yourself,” Lillian replied, giving her a sly smile.

 

            “What’s your angle?”

 

            “He’s one of my biggest competitors in the medical industry. He thinks medicine is useless, and I think his tech is, so it would be nice to have him out of the way,” Lillian answered matter of factly, as if it was the most obvious explanation. Lena hesitated for a moment, before she turned around and walked towards the door. “You’re welcome.”

 

            She let out a laugh, one hand resting on the door as she went to push it open, and she looked back at her mom. “I have nothing to thank you for.”

 

            The elevator ride back down to her car was quick, and as soon as she’d buckled herself in, she dialed Kara’s number and put her on speaker. The call didn’t go through, and Lena let out a sound of frustration, before dialing Alex, who answered almost immediately. _“Luthor.”_

 

            “Maxwell Lord,” Lena curtly replied, “I’m on my way to hack him.”

 

 _“That asshole,”_ Alex grumbled, and Lena let out a surprised laugh, _“you can’t hack him, it’s illegal.”_

 

            Lena laughed again, smiling to herself as she pulled out into traffic, “well, I suppose it’s a good thing I’m outside the law then, isn’t it, Agent Danvers. Unless you’d like to spend your time wondering how red kryptonite got to that shitty apartment, and when the next variation of it might show up.”

 

_“Where are you going?”_

 

            “His house,” Lena replied, listening to the choked sound that came over the speakers with some amusement.

 

 _“His hou- never mind, I’ll meet you there,”_ Alex sighed.

 

            The line went dead and Lena smiled, turning up the radio as she wove in and out of traffic, heading towards the apartment where her suspect lived. She knew her way – she’d been to business dinners at his apartment before – and she was soon pulling up outside. Deciding not to wait for Alex, she walked in through the emergency exit at the back, dismantling the alarm before yanking the door open, and she walked up the stairwell, using her EMP to take out the cameras on every floor, until she reached the top. Outside his apartment door, she took out those cameras too and then jimmied the lock, her eyes widening in panic when the door handle rattled on the other side and it was yanked open. She let out a small sigh of relief when she saw Alex’s face, and frowned slightly.

 

            “How’d you get here so fast? I didn’t see your car outside.”

 

            By way of an explanation, Alex opened the door wider, giving Lena a view of Kara, who was dressed in her suit and was looking around the room. As she stepped inside, Kara looked over at her and gave her a small smile, and Lena just stared back blankly. She knew it wasn’t Kara’s fault, and she was trying not to let it get to her, but she couldn’t help but feel the _tiniest_ bit hurt at Kara’s words last night, even if she hadn’t meant them. Maybe it was because Kara had known exactly what to say to hit all of Lena’s insecurities; it meant that Kara had been paying attention to her.

 

            “Dropped us in on the balcony so it’d be less conspicuous,” Kara shrugged.

 

            “Right,” Lena snorted, “the city’s only red caped flying superhero landing on a billionaire businessman’s balcony is _so_ inconspicuous.”

 

            Kara sighed, pressing her lips together in a grim line as she gave Lena an exasperated look, “that’s where you come in. Someone was breaking and entering his place, and I, the resident hero, came to save the day, along with a government agent.”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes, looking around the place, “whatever.”

 

            “How’d you find out about him anyway,” Alex asked, a curious look on her face as she looked at Lena.

 

            “My mom,” Lena muttered, starting towards the corridor on the left side of the apartment. She didn’t know her way around well, but she’d been in the kitchen and dining room on the right side, so she thought that the left side would be as good a place as any to start searching for computers and hardware.

 

            Kara reached out and stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm as she tried to brush past her, “wait, your _mom_ told you to come here?”

 

            “She told me it was him in the shipping container, but she didn't say to come here.”

 

            “I don’t like this,” Alex said, giving the room an uneasy sweep with her eyes, almost as if she was looking for a hidden bomb waiting to take them all out. “Your mom just so happens to want to take out the man who’s working with her son?”

 

            Lena sighed, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked at the two sisters, “well it’s a lead, isn’t it? Besides, she said that he’s her competition, and if there’s one thing she hates, it’s that. So unless either of you had a more fruitful morning, I’m going to hack his shit and then get out of here.”

 

            They were both silent, because they hadn’t gotten very far with their search, not having an evil mother to go and threaten, and so they followed after Lena as she walked down the hallway, opening and closing doors as she went. Eventually she found and office with a desktop computer, and Lena got Kara to scan the room with her x-ray vision before she walked inside and seated herself behind the desk. Pulling out a hard drive from her bag, she plugged it into the computer and opened up the terminal as the computer booted up. Running software from her hard drive, she soon had access to the computer, and was scanning files as she copied everything so they could scan it later. She hadn’t found anything worthwhile by the time their search was finished, and she unplugged the hard drive and turned the computer off.

 

            Alex held her hand out expectantly and Lena laughed in her face, arching an eyebrow as she smirked slightly, “not a chance, Danvers. You’ll get a copy, but you’re not having access to all of my hardware.”

 

            “Lena,” Kara sighed, but she trailed off as Lena looked at her and raised her eyebrows.

 

            “My hard drive, my intel, my hacking, so it’s mine,” Lena said, putting the hard drive in her bag and pushing past the two girls, “I’d leave before we trigger some sort of alarm … if we already haven’t.”

 

            “Hey-“ Alex started, but Kara must’ve stopped her because she didn’t follow after Lena, and she could hear them both bickering as she walked down the hallway. Not stopping to see if they got out okay, she used the EMP to take out the cameras and repeated the process on the journey downstairs. Safely back in her car, she drove back towards L-Corp, and was soon back in the chair behind the desk, the hard drive plugged into her laptop as she scrolled through endless documents. The evidence had to be _somewhere_ , but she didn’t even know where to look, and she spent all afternoon with her glasses perched on the end of her nose as she squinted at file after file. It was all in vain, and as soon as the clock hit seven, she packed everything up and left, feeling frustrated.

 

            Walking into her apartment, she flipped the light switches and kicked her shoes down the hallway, before kicking the door shut behind her. She dragged her feet as she walked through the apartment, dropping her bag to the floor and shrugging out of her coat, when she saw a figure sitting at one of the bar stools as she flipped the kitchen light on. “Fucking hell,” she swore, clapping a hand to her chest, “you frightened the life out of me.”

 

            “Sorry,” Kara sheepishly said, giving her a hesitant smile.

 

            “How long have you been sat here in the dark?”

 

            “About an hour.”

 

            Lena shot her a slight frown, “why? You here for the hard drive?”

 

            Shrugging, Kara tapped on the counter, and then nodded at a large white container sitting on the counter. “I picked you up some noodles. You’ll need to reheat them.”

 

            “Thanks.”

 

            “I’m not here for the hard drive,” Kara blurted out, sneaking a quick glance at Lena, who reached for the carton and put it in the microwave. “I, uh, I know you’ll give it to us, and I know some of it will be encrypted so I convinced Alex to let you work on it tonight and then we can sort it out tomorrow.”

 

            Lena nodded, yanking open a drawer and rattling the cutlery as she pulled out a fork, “so why are you here?”

 

            “I thought I’d offer my help,” Kara slowly said.

 

            “I was going to go and hit the streets tonight.”

 

            “Oh.”

 

            The microwave beeped and Lena pulled her food out, sliding it across the counter and walking around to sit down. Stabbing her fork into the steaming noodles, she twirled it around and sighed heavily. “Why are you really here, Kara?”

 

            There was silence for a few moments, and then Kara sighed as well, placing both hands on the counter and spreading her fingers, almost as if she was bracing herself. “I … I feel bad. Last night, I, uh, I didn’t mean any of it, and I’m sorry.”

 

            “You already apologized,” Lena bluntly replied, shoving a mouthful of food into her mouth and staring at the food in front of her.

 

            “I know, but I-“

 

            “Just leave it alone, Kara,” Lena sighed, running a hand through her hair as she turned to look at her, “it’s fine. I know it was the kryptonite, and I know you wouldn’t say anything like that, even if you meant it, and just … we don’t need to talk about it, okay?”

 

            Kara nodded, and they both fell silent as she finished her food. As soon as she wsa done, she threw the empty carton in the trash and chucked her fork in the sink, before walking to her bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind her. Kara got the message.

 

\---

 

            They were laying side by side, and Kara had her arm underneath Lena, absentmindedly stroking her arm as her breathing levelled out. Lena could just about make out the sound of Kara’s heart thudding in her chest, beating in time with her own, and she stared up at the ceiling as they laid in silence. Kara usually stayed a while afterwards now, showering or making something to eat, but this time she just stayed in bed, and Lena didn’t move either, perfectly content to lay in bed for the rest of the night. All of her frustration that she’d been hoping to vent on the streets had been burnt off, and she felt more relaxed.

 

            “Sorry, I think I broke your headboard,” Kara eventually said, and Lena let out a shaky laugh.

 

            “Don’t worry about it. I think it was worth it.”

 

            “Yeah?”

 

            Lena turned her head and stared up at Kara, a smile playing on her lips, “maybe just a little.” They fell silent again, and a few minutes later she heard Kara take a deep breath, and was expecting her to say something, but then she exhaled. She did the same a few minutes later, and Lena sighed, turning to look at her again. “What is it?”

 

            “It’s … nothing.”

 

            “Obviously there is,” Lena pushed her slightly, “to be honest, I think at this point there’s nothing that you can say to push me away. I mean … after last night.”

 

            Kara was silent for a few moments, and then she sighed again, but before Lena could say something in her irritation, Kara opened her mouth and blurted out, “I was just wondering if you’ve ever been in love.”

 

            Shaking with laughter, Lena struggled up into a sitting position and looked at Kara in the dimness of the room. The embarrassment on her face was palpable, and she wrinkled her nose as she stared up at the ceiling, ignoring Lena’s face. “Are you fucking serious?”

 

            “Forget I asked,” Kara murmured.

 

            Lena let out another laugh, and settled back down against the pillows, sneaking peeks at Kara every few moments. As the silence stretched on, she felt more and more jittery, and after a few more mintues, she sighed, “no, I’ve never been in love before.”

 

            Kara jerked her head around to look at Lena in surprise, her eyebrows raised as she got an answer; she hadn’t been expecting one. Pressing her lips together, Lena waited for Kara’s inevitable reply, but it was a few moments before the other girl mustered up the courage to do so. “You should try it … it’s nice.”

 

            “No, I’ll hate it,” Lena murmured.

 

            “How can you know if you’ve never tried it?”

 

            “I just know.”


	29. Chapter 29

            Lena spent the next week trying to find evidence on the hard drive. She’d given the DEO a copy on a USB the next day, after she’d done a quick search of anything with a mention of her name or L-Corp – she wouldn’t give them any information about herself – and Alex had eyed her suspiciously when Lena had willingly complied. She hoped that she never found out about the missing files, because she was on thin ice with Alex anyway, and they were only somewhat on speaking terms out of a necessity to stop her brother and his minions. Kara seemed the happiest with the arrangement out of the three of them, and Lena knew that Alex only let her get involved because she was outside of the law with her vigilantism, and wouldn’t be opposed to breaking a few laws to get what they needed. If it wasn’t for that, Lena guessed that she wouldn’t be allowed within a mile of the agent.

 

            So far, their searching had been slow going, and Lena found her frustration growing, leading her to spend more time on the streets. With the information she had on Lord, she was able to track some other corrupt people throughout the city - some of them using their business’ as a front for a drug operation, others embezzling funds, and a few cutting corners with health and safety – and Lena spent the week tracking them down and leaving them for the police to find, along with the incriminating evidence. She took some satisfaction in removing them from society, even if they were getting nowhere with their investigation. She barely saw Kara over that week, only calling to give her brief rundowns on what she’d found in her search, and then ending the call to hit the streets. They hadn’t been to each other’s apartments all week, and Lena was almost relieved, because something about their conversation last time had left her feeling a bit panicked. There had been a tightening feeling in her chest again.

 

            It was Friday night, and the city had been quiet which had left Lena with some free time to investigate a warehouse that she suspected had a connection to Maxwell Lord and whatever he was up to with her brother. She’d found the information that night, and had decided to check it out before involving Kara or Alex in something that could potentially harm their jobs, or just be a waste of time. Suiting up, she donned her mask and was soon riding her motorbike as close to the warehouse as she dared to get, before slinking through the shadows for the rest of the way. The two halves of her staff were clipped to her back and she had her knife strapped to her leg, and she was silent as she padded through the alley between the warehouse and the one next to it. Walking over to a flimsy side door, Lena steeled herself and then kicked the door in, her connected staff in hand, and a smile curling her lips behind her mask. There were seven men clustered in the middle of the warehouse, and Lena had a clear view of them as she looked at the clear path made between stacks of crates and boxes. At the intrusion, the seated ones jumped to their feet, and all seven of them pulled out guns and pointed them at her.

 

            Letting out a robotic laugh, Lena tilted her head to the side and sighed, “seven to one, and I only brought a knife. Well now, that doesn’t seem fair.”

 

             _“You’re_ the Shadow,” one of the exclaimed, letting out an incredulous laugh. The other men joined in, keeping their guns levelled at her. “You’re tiny; god, you look like a woman.”

 

            Snorting, Lena shook her head, “I suggest that you put the guns down, before things end badly for you.”

 

            “Like you said, there’s seven of us, it’s hardly a fair fight.”

 

            “Oh, no, you’re mistaken,” Lena coolly said, her voice laced with amusement, “it’s not fair for _you_.”

 

            The one who had been speaking, and seemed to be the one in charge, shot her, and Lena felt the air rush out of her lungs as it struck her on the shoulder, stopped by her bulletproof fabric, but still hitting her with enough force so that she knew there would be a bruise there tomorrow. Throwing her body to one side, she rolled as she landed on the concrete floor and hid behind the stack of boxes. She hissed as she rolled her shoulder and climbed to her feet, listening to the man telling the men to split up. Separating the staff and clipping the pieces to the magnets on her back, Lena quickly scrambled up on top of the pile of boxes, laying flat on her stomach and wriggling towards the edge of the stack, letting her lenses in the mask pick up the movement of the men. They circled the container, and when they didn’t find her where the thought she’d hidden, the man yelled at them to spread out and find her.

 

            Waiting until they were all spread out, she climbed off the container and crept after the closest one. He didn’t realize she was there until she silently pulled the knife from the thigh sheath and hit him on his temple, bearing some of his weight as he dropped to the floor. The process repeated with five more, with her throwing well aimed punches and getting the small man in a headlock and choking him until he passed out. By the time she was done fighting them as quietly as possible, her breathing was a bit rapid and she felt hot in her suit, but there was still the main guy, and she hadn’t seen him anywhere. And then there was a loud shot, and a searing pain on the side of her neck. She felt something hard at the base of her neck, and realized that it was a crumpled bullet, having been unable to pierce the fabric. Whirling around, her lenses locked onto the man who was walking towards her with his gun aimed right at her chest. The material could only withstand so much pressure, and a point blank shot at short range wouldn’t end well for her. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lena let out a shaky laugh, trying to bolster her courage with the careless arrogance of someone who wasn’t scared.

 

            The next thing she knew, the man had been plowed through the side of the wooden crates, and Lena watched in shock as wood splintered and some of the metal ones crumpled, too. The only give away as to what had happened was the blue of red and blue, and Lena squeezed her eyes shut, knowing that Kara wouldn’t be too happy about her not telling her that she was hear. Lena should’ve known better than to think that Kara wasn’t keeping tabs on her, and as soon as she heard the second gunshot, and Lena’s haywire heart, she would’ve known that she needed help. It was a few moments before Lena realized that something was wrong, and Kara wasn’t giving her a disapproving look as she picked splinters out of her hair, and that was when Lena felt her heart stumble a few beats, and she quickly ducked through the hole in the containers. Scrambling over planks of wood and through pieces of metal curling back on itself, and Lena was numb with panic as she took in the different coloured kryptonite lying amongst the wreckage. She came out the other side and ran across the open space to where Kara’s crumpled figure was laying, dropping to her knees and reaching out with a shaky hand to turn Kara over. Her face was deathly pale, and a multitude of coloured veins ran across her face, and Lena felt her throat close up. She didn’t know what exposure to so many variants of the substance would do to her, and Kara was unresponsive as Lena shook her.

 

            “Kara,” she hissed, “come on, come on, wake up!”

 

            There was no response, and Lena panicked, wondering what she was going to do, because she couldn’t just _leave_ her there, but Lena could carry her through the city on the back of her bike. Remembering that Kara always had earpieces in to talk to the DEO when she was in costume, Lena leant down next to her ear, and feeling somewhat stupid, started talking. “Danvers, it’s me. She’s down …th-there’s half a dozen kinds of kryptonite here. She flew straight through it all.”

 

            Pulling back, Lena crouched beside Kara, frowning slightly to herself as she stared at the colours snaking their way across Kara’s face as they pulsed slightly, and she reached out to gently brush her hair back. Sighing, Lena sat down and shifted Kara’s head into her lap, resting her back against the containers as she waited for Alex to show up. She’d come, of course, because her sister was hurt, and she would speed across the city to be there as fast as possible. Lena was already dreading the confrontation, because no doubt Alex would blame her, and Lena couldn’t fault her for it, because it _was_ her fault. She hadn’t anticipated Kara showing up, but she should’ve known, because Lena knew that she cared about her, even though the thought terrified her.

 

            It was almost twenty minutes before Alex showed up with James and Lucy, and half a dozen other agents, and in that time, three of the men had started stirring, leaving Lena to go and deal with them before they ran off.  She was sat with Kara again when Alex came running out from between the crates, looking around as she tried to see them. As her eyes fell on Kara in Lena’s lap, she ran over and fell to her knees, taking her out of Lena’s arms, and leaving her to climb to her feet. The other DEO agents were coming over with medical gear and Lena backed away from them, watching as Alex felt at Kara’s neck to check how fast her pulse was. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lena slowly slipped into the shadows, doing what she did best and staying invisible, and silently walked away. Outside, she took her mask off and fell back against the side of the warehouse, tipping her head back and sucking in a lungul of cool air as she closed her eyes and let the gentle wind caress her slightly sweaty face.

 

            “Hey!”

 

            She jerked her head down, pushing off the wall as her fight or flight response was activated, and her heart leapt in her chest, before she realized that it was Alex storming towards her. Rubbing the back of her neck, Lena sighed and took a few dawdling steps towards Alex. “Is she-“

 

            “She’ll be fine,” Alex coldly replied, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared hardly at Lena, “what the hell happened?”

 

            “I was following a lead,” Lena sighed, running a hand through her hair, which had started to come undone from the sloppy bun, “he had a gun, and he was too close for my suit to stop … next thing I knew she was smashing him through the crates. I didn’t know what was in there, but I guess that’s what my brother’s doing. He’s manufacturing kryptonite. It’s why he needs Lord.”

 

            “Fuck,” Alex cursed, kicking the side of the building in anger. Lena watched her silently, feeling her anger, because she felt it too, and she’d been feeling it for far longer. Lex had been doing things that had affected Lena for far longer, but she couldn’t blame Alex for her anger, because this time he was targeting Kara. “Why didn’t you- hey, you’re bleeding.”

 

            Lena’s hand leapt to her neck, touching the sticky blood from the shallow bullet wound, “oh, yeah, I got hit.”

 

            Sighing, Alex shook her head slightly, “no wonder she came. Come on, you need it taken care of.”

 

            “I can take care of it myself,” Lena curtly replied, walking past her and heading towards her bike. A hand grabbed her by the arm, and she sharply turned to look at Alex, giving her a wary look.

 

            “Thank you … for staying with her.”

 

            Letting out a snort of laughter, Lena gave her a tight smile, “I’m not as cold as you might think.” Without another word, she pulled her arm out of Alex’s grasp, donned her mask and pulled the hood up, before walking over to her bike. She kicked it to life, and the engine roared beneath her, but she didn’t ride off straight away. She kept her gaze on the van with Kara in the back, watching from the shadows as she waited for it to leave. As the taillights disappeared, Lena went her own way, going to the safe house and showering quickly, before she changed into some clean clothes and walked the few blocks to where her car was parked. Climbing into the driver’s side, she put her key in the ignition and turned the car on, before pulling out and making her way across the city.

 

\---

 

            The sun was high enough in the sky that Lena’s eyes were prickling from a sleepless night, and she was furiously typing away at her laptop, trying to get some work done while she waited, because it might’ve been the weekend, but she still had things to do. She kept one eye on the building across the street though, and it wasn’t until mid-morning, after hours sat in her car, that Lena watched as the person she’d been waiting for climbed out of a black car, followed by her sister, and walking inside. Lena let out a relieved sigh; she was okay.

 

            She was still debating whether or not she should stay a few more minutes, when the front door opened and Alex walked out and climbed into her car. As Lena watched, her phone started vibrating, and she glanced down at Kara’s name on the screen. Quickly tossing her laptop aside, Lena slid across to answer and pressed the phone to her ear. “Hello.”

 

_“Are you going to come inside, or just sit outside?”_

 

            Lena blanched slightly, feeling her heart skip a beat in surprise, and she was grateful that Kara couldn’t actually see her inside her car, because her cheeks warm in emabarrassment. Clearing her throat slightly, Lena hesitated before replying. “Are you up for visitors?”

 

_“For you? Always.”_

 

            She didn’t say anything, and they were both silent for a moment, before Lena hung up. Shoving her laptop into her bag, she opened the door and climbed out. Quickly crossing the street, she was let into the building, and she took her time walking upstairs, feeling her nerves grow with each step she took. By the time she reached Kara’s floor and walked towards the door, she was feeling that telltale tightness in her chest again, but as Kara yanked the door open before she could knock, it eased up slightly. Lena’s face was blank as she scrutinized Kara’s face, looking for any lingering signs of the kryptonite, but she looked fine.

 

            “Hi,” Kara said, giving her a small smile as she stepped aside and held the door open for her to come in.

 

            “How’re you feeling?” Lena quietly asked.

 

            Kara let out a quiet laugh, shrugging slightly as she shut the door, “a bit tired, and a bit hungry. Not much different to all the other times, except … I don’t know, my head feels a bit fuzzier. Must be a lot going on.”

 

            “I’m sorry,” Lena blurted out.

 

            Eyebrows shooting up in surprise, Kara crossed over to the kitchen and started pulling mugs out and setting water on to boil. “What’re you sorry for?”

 

            “I should’ve told you I was going there.”

 

            “Well, it would’ve been nice, but I don’t think it would’ve changed much. The kryptonite was there either way, and either way I would’ve shown up,” Kara said, and Lena closed her eyes slightly, exhaling slowly and walking over to the kitchen. Sitting down on one of the stools, and dropping her bag to the floor, she put her head in her hands. “Whoa, hey, your neck!” Kara exclaimed, and Lena clamped her hand over her neck. She’d washed the blood off when she’d showered, but she hadn’t done much beyond that to patch it up, and it had left a bloody mess on her neck.

 

            Letting out a humourless laugh, Lena gingerly touched it, “oh, yeah, right. Bullet.”

 

            Kara was silent as she walked into the bathroom, returning a few moments later with a first-aid kit that Lena was surprised she even had, because it wasn’t like she ever got hurt. Without saying anything, Kara tilted Lena’s head to the side, brushing her hair out of the way with gentle fingers, and then she started pulling an assortment of items out of the kit. Lena didn’t protest as she let Kara dab anti it, cleaning away the blood while Lena tried not to wince, and then she applied some cream and put a small patch over it. Smiling slightly, Kara quickly cleaned up and washed her hands, before taking the boiling water and making them both some tea.

 

            “How long were you sat outside?” Kara asked as she set a cup down in front of Lena, who murmured her thanks and wrapped her hands around it.

 

            “Since midnight,” Lena said, shrugging self-consciously as she ducked her head down.

 

            Blinking in surprise, Kara picked up her cup and walked around the counter, pulling out the stool next to Lena and sitting down. “Why?”

 

            “I wanted to wait and see if you were okay,” Lena said, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

 

            “Oh … well, thanks,” Kara said, giving her a warm smile as she took a sip of the scalding tea, “you didn’t have to do that.”

 

            Lena shrugged, “well, I just … you’d do the same for me.”

 

            Kara laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she looked at Lena, amusement written all over her face as if Lena was missing something, “yeah well that’s because I care about you.”

 

            “What, and I’m so cold and unfeeling that I don’t care about you?” Lena snorted, rolling her eyes. Her tone was slightly bitter, even though she didn’t mean for it to be, and she realized that maybe for just once in her life she wanted to be able to care for someone without being so guarded about it. The shameless and almost careless way that Kara always told her stunned Lena every time, because she could never imagine something like that falling from her lips and sounding so sincere.

 

            “No, but you don’t care about me like I care about you,” Kara blurted out, fidgeting with her cup of tea as she ducked her head.

 

            “Ah, so there it is,” Lena quietly mused, taking a sip of her tea, “this is about the other night, right?”

 

            “I mean … yeah, I guess maybe I care about you more than you’d like me to,” Kara mumbled, “and I’m sorry if you don’t want me to, and I’m not asking for anything in return. This is just sex, right? So, it’s fine, you know, and I’m cool with things being like this, because I feel nice, like where things are between us. So … yeah, it’s fine, and nothing to worry about.”

 

            Lena was silent for a few moments, sipping her tea and feeling that tight squeezing feeling in her chest. “Nothing to worry about?”

 

            “No.”

 

            Draining the rest of her tea, Lena climbed down off her stool and walked around the counter. “Okay. Go and lay down, I’ll make something to eat.”


	30. Chapter 30

            It was dark when Lena woke up, but the lights of the city gently illuminated the room, and Lena frowned as she slowly sat up, looking around in confusion. It was so quiet, and it was one of those moments where Lena felt like she was the only person in the world, and time seemed to stop, but then she heard the soft sound of someone breathing, and she looked down at Kara. Her hair looked dark in the dim light, and it was splayed across the pillows as she slept on, and Lena’s throat seemed to close up when she realized that she was still at Kara’s place. She’d fallen asleep. After making Kara food, she’d taken it to her, where she lay in bed, and she’d climbed on next to her, stealing a piece of toast off one of the many plates, and they’d talked about their investigation, and what had happened. Lena didn’t want to leave her alone, because although she was sure that the kryptonite was out of her system, or Alex wouldn’t have left her alone, she still felt somewhat responsible for it happening, and the least she could do was stay with Kara and make sure she was okay. She’d fallen asleep though, and not even after they’d had sex – she still had all of her clothes on – and Lena felt her heart seize and she quickly climbed out of bed, clapping one hand to her chest.

 

            “Lena?”

 

            She closed her eyes at the sound of her name being whispered in the dark, and all of the thoughts in her mind seemed to stop, and she slowly turned around to face Kara. Her heart seized again as she took in the way that Kara blearily squinted at her, a look of confusion on her face, and Lena sat down on the edge of the bed, her heart hammering in her chest as she put her shoes on.

 

            “You’re leaving? What time is it?” Kara mumbled, fumbling for her phone on the nightstand. “God, it’s one o’clock in the morning, what’re you doing up?”

 

            “I have to go,” Lena breathlessly said, sounding slightly panicked, “I, uh, there’s just- there’s something wrong. I-I need to go.”

 

            Kara quickly scrambled upright, “are you okay? What’s wrong?”

 

            “I don’t know,” Lena said, her voice sounding strained. She shoved her other foot into her shoe and climbed to her feet, running a hand through her hair and looking everywhere but at Kara. Her chest felt tight, her heart was beating way too fast, and she was struggling to breathe. She wheezed slightly as she tried to suck in a lungful of air, and her eyes were wide and panicked as she grasped at the front of her shirt.

 

            “Lena?”

 

            “I can’t- I can’t breathe,” Lena choked out in between shallow breaths, and then she couldn’t even speak and she was shaking. And then Kara was in front of her, reaching out and saying something, but Lena was shaking her head and pulling away. She didn’t want to be touched. Squeezing her eyes shut, she slowly dropped down to the floor and curled up in a ball, her head between her knees as she tried to breathe evenly. She knew she was having a panic attack – she’d had them before – but she wasn’t sure _why_ , and she wasn’t sure why her chest was feeling so tight. It was almost physically hurting her, and her heart was beating so rapidly that she thought she might be having a heart attack.

 

            Then something cold was being pressed into her hands, and the startling coolness of the icepack brought her back to herself, giving her a moment of perfect clarity as she stared into Kara’s worried eyes. Her pulse jumped, and Lena felt her breathing hitch, and she squeezed her eyes shut and she tightly held onto the icepack. She wasn’t sure how much longer it was before her breathing evened out and her pulse settled down, but she was strongly aware of the fact that Kara had sat five feet across from her, watching her intently and softly singing something in Kryptonian as she tried to give Lena her space and bring her back down to earth. Slowly breathing in and out, Lena listened to the odd language with her eyes closed, until her hands were too numb to hold the icepack and it clattered to the floor and the spell seemed to break.

 

            “Lena,” Kara murmured as she cut off her singing, “are you okay, zhao?”

 

            “I need to go,” Lena croaked, uncurling from her ball and unevenly lurching to her feet. Kara took a step towards her, and Lena felt herself panic slightly, “no, don’t.”

 

            Holding her hands up defensively, Kara nodded slowly, “okay, no touching. Just let me take you home, please.”

 

            “I can drive,” Lena hoarsely murmured.

 

            “Lena, please,” Kara quietly said.

 

            She was already walking out of the partitioned bedroom and snaking her way through the furniture, stumbling slightly as she clipped the edge of a barstool in the dark. Reaching the door, she quickly yanked it open and walked out into the hallway, not even pausing to shut the door behind her as she ran down the stairs, her footsteps echoing on the stairs as she ran down them. The cool air washed over her face as she burst through the door, and Lena sucked in a deep breath of air as she walked down the steps. Her hand went to her pockets, and she realized that she’d left her bag in the apartment, and she couldn’t go back up. Just the thought of being up in Kara’s apartment made her panic again, and so she took off down the street, trying to put as much distance between her and the apartment building as she could.

 

            Without even realizing it, Lena found herself at one of Veronica’s bars, one of the dodgier ones with the fight clubs below, and Lena realized that she really need a drink to calm herself down. It was still in the early hours of the morning, and the bar was still filled with people, but there was no sign of Veronica. Her purse was in her bag at Kara’s but Lena had been to the bar a few times, sometimes going up to the apartment above it to drink with Veronica and spar a bit, so she knew the barmaid, and nodded as she reached over the bar and helped herself to a glass and a bottle of whiskey. She’d make sure to slip Veronica some extra cash at her next lesson. Settling down on one of the stools, Lena started pouring herself drinks, knocking them back quickly and refilling the glass straight away. It wasn’t until the bar was already emptying that someone appeared next to her and gave her a gentle nudge to get her attention.

 

            “Hey kid, are you okay?” Veronica asked, raising her eyebrows slightly.

 

            Lena let out a dopey laugh, smiling as she looked up at Veronica. “Hey Ronnie. Can I, uh, buy you a drink?”

 

            “Making your way through my liquor, huh? You could’ve picked the cheap shit,” Veronica said, sighing as she reached over the bar for a clean glass and dropped down onto the seat next to Lena. “Rough day?”

 

            “Something like that,” Lena sighed, running a finger around the rim of her glass as she looked down at the amber liquid inside. She felt pleasantly warm inside from the buzz of the alcohol, and her tongue felt a little looser than usual, putting her in the mood to share, which she never did because her walls were usually twenty feet high and impenetrable. “I was- I think there’s something wrong with me?”

 

            Veronica laughed, “I know, kid, I’m not as oblivious as you might think. You’re still hurting.”

 

            Closing her eyes, Lena breathed slowly, before frowning at Veronica. “No, not- not _that_. I think there’s something _wrong_. My chest … there’s something wrong with my heart.”

 

            “What do you mean?”

 

            “It feels all … tight sometimes. I feel like I can’t breathe, and it just, it feels like someone’s squeezing my heart,” Lena blurted out, “am I having a heart attack? Aren’t I too young for that?”

 

            Looking faintly amused and concerned, Veronica took a sip of her drink, “you been to the hospital? Is it all the time? I mean, you’re clearly not having a heart attack or you’d be dead by now.”

 

            “Yeah, you’re right,” Lena said, shaking her head, trying to clear her head as she drained her glass and reached for the bottle. She refilled her glass as she spoke, “I was- I was with Kara. I fell asleep at hers – I don’t do that, ever – and and I just … I had a- a panic attack, and my heart … it felt like it was being squeezed. I-I don’t know-”

 

            She cut off as Veronica let out a loud laugh, slapping Lena on the back, “oh _god_ , kid, the only think wrong with your heart is you’re in love. Congrats.”

 

            “Wha- _no!”_ Lena spluttered, looking horrified at the prospect. “I don’t- I don’t love _anyone._ Ever.”

 

            “You just said you don’t stay at people’s placed either – ever – yet you _did_ ,” Veronica pointed out, smirking at Lena around the rim of her glass. She placed the glass down on the bar and turned in her seat to face Lena. “She makes you heart race, and you think about her all the time, and when she looks at you, your chest gets all tight and your stomach has butterflies, and you just want to be with her all the time, and knowing you, that scares you. Am I right?”

 

            Lena was silent as every word rang true, but it didn’t mean it _was_ true. “No, you’re not. I don’t _love_ her, Ronnie. It’s not that kind of relationship.”

 

            “Kiss me,” Veronica said, and Lena jerked her head up to meet her dark eyes.

 

            “Wha- no! Why would I _kiss_ you? You’re my … friend,” Lena exclaimed.

 

            Laughing, Veronica tilted her head to the side, “why not?”

 

            Shrugging, Lena pressed her lips together in a line as she deliberated. It only took her a few moments to realize that she was picturing a different pair of lips, ones that had placed hot kisses all over her body, and we so gentle against Lena’s own lips. It was glaringly obvious to her who she wanted to kiss. “Because I don’t want to,” Lena said after a moment, “not that you’re not beautiful, but I don’t want to _kiss_ you.”

 

            “Who do you want to kiss?”

 

            Her cheeks turned bright red, and she drained her drink to avoid answering. Veronica quietly laughed to herself, shaking her head as she drank her own drink in silence. They both sat there for a while, and then Lena let out a small groan, putting her head in her hands.  Climbing off the stool, Roulette gave Lena’s shoulder a quick squeeze.

 

            “Come on, kid, you can crash here tonight.”

 

            Lena nodded, sliding off the stool and stumbling as Veronica let her through the mostly empty bar and to the stairs behind the bar. Slowly staggering upstairs, feeling Veronica’s hand on her back as she stopped Lena from tumbling backwards, Lena made her way up to the apartment, leaning against the wall as Veronica opened the door for her and let her inside. A quick bed was made up for her on the sofa, and Lena was asleep before she could even take her shoes off.

 

\---

 

            Wincing at the sharp sunlight streaming in, Lena covered her eyes and struggled to sit up. She still felt drunk, and it was still early, so she figured that she might be, because the sun wasn’t even completely up yet. Climbing to her feet, she walked to the small kitchen and poured herself a glass of water and fought back the sick feeling in her stomach. She shouldn’t have drunk so much, but she hadn’t known what else to do, and that was her reflex when she felt anxious and panicked, and now she would have to face Kara, after practically running out of her apartment, which only made her feel more panicked. Drinking another glass of water, and splashing some on her face, she walked over to the apartment door and opened it with a slow creak. Slamming it shut, she plodded downstairs, feeling each thud of her boots reverberate in her head, giving her a headache. The bar was empty, except for Veronica, who was methodically restocking the fridge behind the bar, and looking far better than Lena felt, despite the few drinks she’d shared with her student. Mumbling a hello, Lena sat down at the bar and watched, and Veronica got up and tossed her a packet of nuts from behind the bar. Picking at them, Lena listened to Veronica happily chat away, giving minimal input to the conversation, but listening intently.

 

            By the time she left the bar, the sun had fully risen, and Lena shoved her hands deep into her pockets as she set off towards her apartment. The walk did her some good, and the fresh air helped settle her stomach and cool her down as she fell into the crowd of early workers on the way to the office. Wishing she had some money on her, Lena gazed longingly at every bakery and café she passed, and was regretting taking off in such a rush and leaving her bag at Kara’s. Apparently someone had anticipated Lena’s regret, because as she neared the front doors to her apartment, she saw her car parked outside, and Kara was leaning against the side of it, patiently drinking a coffee while she waited. There was another one on the roof of the car, along with a paper bag, and Lena slowed her pace as she stared at Kara, angling towards her. Kara picked the bag up and fumbled with the other coffee, before taking a few steps towards Lena and handing it to her.

 

            “Black coffee,” Kara said, “how’s your head?”

 

            Lena shrugged and Kara let out a quiet laugh, turning around. “There’s pills in my back pocket.” Letting out a quiet laugh, Lena pulled the box out and murmured her thanks as she opened it, popping out two pills, and chased them down with a sip of the coffee. Kara had her bag slung over one shoulder, and Lena took it off her, before she started towards the door. Following along behind, Kara was silent, and Lena sighed.

 

            “Sorry,” she mumbled.

 

            “For what?”

 

            “Earlier.”

 

            Kara was silent for a few moments as they rode the elevator to the top floor, only speaking once Lena had shouldered the door open and let them into her apartment. “Are you okay? I know panic attacks can rattle a person. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” she quickly assured her, “I just … I want to make sure you’re okay.”

 

            “I’m fine,” Lena assured her, “it was … nothing.”

 

            “Okay, well, we’ll just leave it,” Kara said, dropping the paper bag down on the kitchen counter as they walked out of the hallway.

 

            “Yeah, well, um, I have work to do so ...” Lena awkwardly replied, meeting Kara’s blue eyes and feeling her chest tighten. She quickly looked away, willing back a blush as Veronica’s words came back to her.

 

            There was a few moments silence, and Lena didn’t see the flicker of hurt that flashed across Kara’s face at the bluntness of her reply. “Oh, um, sure. Yeah, I should go anyway. I wouldn’t want to get in the way.”

 

            “Kara,” Lena sighed, hearing the hurt in her voice.

 

            “No, it’s fine, I get it,” Kara said, giving Lena a strained smile, “I mean, you can’t even sleep beside me, so it’s not like you want me hanging around at your place, right? It’s fine, I know that yesterday was too much for you. It’s cool; you never wanted anything more than sex. Can you just, uh, just get your assistant to drop anything off if you find a lead.”

 

            She turned around and started walking back to the mouth of the hallway, and Lena felt her heart leap into the throat, and she stumbled a few steps after her. “Come on, Kara, don’t leave like this. Please.”

 

            “Leave like what? How would you like me to leave? By the balcony?”

 

            “I’m sorry,” Lena quietly said.

 

            Kara turned around and gave her a small smile, “what’re you sorry for? You don’t have to apologise for not having feelings.”

 

            Wincing slightly, Lena felt her mouth go dry, “I do have feelings.”

 

            “Yeah, but not the same ones I do,” Kara said, a longing look in her eyes as she looked at Lena, and while it didn’t show in her eyes, she felt a twinge of longing inside her as she looked back at Kara. “Anyway, I, uh, yeah, I need to go. I’ll see you later.”

 

            Lena stared at her open mouthed as Kara disappeared down the hallway, and the door slammed shut a moment later. Slamming a hand down on the counter, Lena put her head in her hand and let out a shaky breath. There was some truth to Kara’s words, because she _didn’t_ want to fall asleep next to her – that was too real for Lena – but that didn’t mean she didn’t care. She wished that she could explain how she felt to Kara, but the truth was she didn’t even know it herself. They’d been doing this for months, and it had been a toying game where they’d danced around their feelings, but Kara had always been more open with what they were doing, while Lena preferred to deny it. She’d denied it once too many times though, and she was scared that if she did it again, she’d lose Kara.

 

            Standing in the kitchen, she deliberated with herself for a few minutes, sipping at the coffee and taking bites out of the bagel that had been in the bag. In the end, she decided to finally pluck up the courage and call Kara and apologise. She’d ask her to come back, and they could spend all afternoon working on decrypting the evidence stolen off Lord, and she’d buy them pizza or Chinese, and afterwards she’d prove a point that she _could_ sleep beside Kara, even if she did it just for a few hours. Fishing her phone out of her bag, she went to call Kara, and smiled slightly when she saw that she was already calling.

 

            Quickly sliding her finger across to answer, Lena pressed the phone to her ear. “Hi, before you say anything, I’m sorry.”

 

 _“Ah, Miss Luthor,”_ a man’s voice said, and Lena stiffened, _“Miss Danvers can’t come to the phone right now. She’s … indisposed.”_

            “What the hell have you done to her?” Lena numbly asked, fear taking hold in her heart and spreading throughout her entire body. Kara had barely been gone five minutes, and Lena was terrified to think of what had happened in such a short time span. It was her brother – she knew it in her bones – and whatever he had done, he knew who Kara really was, because if it had been a normal attack, she wouldn’t be on the phone with this man. Whatever had happened, this person had attacked with something strong enough to take down a Kryptonian, and Lena was filled with dread.

 

 _“Hmm, well, if you can find her body, you’ll find out for yourself,”_ the man said, chuckling slightly to himself, _“your brother sends his regards.”_

 

            Before she could reply, the line went dead, and Lena stood there in shock. A moment later her phone vibrated, and Lena looked down as a blocked number sent her a photo. Opening it, she took in the sight of a blood soaked Kara, deathly pale and laying on the floor of a van, hands and feet bound with her eyes shut. Lena felt the air rush out of her lungs as she stared at the photo, and she blinked rapidly to stop her eyes from filling with tears, because she wasn’t sure how badly hurt Kara was, or how long she had before she would _be_ badly hurt, or killed even. Fearing the worst, Lena felt a part of her shut off, and she didn’t feel anything as she set the phone down on the counter and grabbed her car keys. Her brother had made a mistake.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is almost at an end now, so we'll see

            She forewent the suit and her double bladed staff, and kept on the black hooded sweatshirt and jeans she’d had on since yesterday, sticking two guns into the waistband, and strapping a small knife sheath to her forearm for good measure. She was done playing nice. Lex was behind this, without a doubt, and Lena was finished with his games and toying with her, and now she was going to end it. Sparing the time to check the cameras outside her apartment, she found the number plate on the van, feeling a burning anger inside as she watched them expose something to Kara, which didn’t seem to have an effect on her, but made her helpless when three men jumped her and dragged her into the back of the van. It didn’t seem like green kryptonite, because it hadn’t weakened her, but whatever it was, she hadn’t been able to fend them off. Doing a quick trace of all the cameras in the city for the number plate, she found the van heading towards the industrial area on the outskirts, and Lena knew where they were taking her.

 

            She sent Alex a text before she climbed on her motorbike and kicked it to life. The tyres screeched ass she raced out of the garage, and she didn’t slow for any traffic or lights; her only thought was of Kara. By some miracle, Lena made it to the warehouse she’d found all the kryptonite in in one piece, having had a few near misses that could’ve ended very badly if she hadn’t been speeding so fast. As she pulled up outside the warehouse, she broke hard, and didn’t even turn the bike off as she climbed off, dropping it to the ground and pulling off her helmet. She tossed it to the ground as well, already running towards the warehouse. Wondering how they managed to get inside, what with all the security, she pressed her hand to the scanner, and the door opened. She had a gun in hand as she slipped into the warehouse.

 

            The lights were on, and her eyes landed on Kara, in the middle of the glass and steel container in the middle of the room, bound to a chair. She was already conscious again, but barely, and Lena stopped as she took in the pallor of her skin, and the deep red of the blood that covered her; she wasn’t healing. Her distraction cost her precious seconds, and a moment later, something hard whacked her across the back of her head and she fell forward, the gun skittering across the floor as she landed hard on her hands, grazing her palms on the concrete floor. There were over a dozen people in the warehouse, and Lena grit her teeth as she pushed herself up onto all fours, fumbling for the gun.

 

            “Your brother said you’d come,” an amused voice said as her fingers closed around the gun, and she lurched to her feet, pointing it at the man in front of her. He was impeccably dressed in a tailored suit, and the smug smile of his face was one that Lena had come face to face with many times.

 

            “Edge,” she spat, “what are you doing here?”

 

            He put his hands in his pockets and laughed, and Lena’s eyes wandered to the other man walking towards her. Maxwell Lord. “Working with my new business partner,” Edge said, giving her a sharp smile.

 

            “Both of you,” Lena choked out, “and my brother. Why?”

 

            Lord smiled as he stood opposite her, “business, darling.

 

            “What did he offer you?”

 

            “Money, of course, and power. Between the three of us, we’ll have the entire world in our palms, more grateful to us than ever once we rid this planet of alien scum like her,” Edge said, jerking his head towards Kara.

 

            At his words, Lena steadied her arm holding the gun, giving him a furious, cold look. “You won’t touch her.”

 

            “Come on, Lena, you could join us. You can be everything that your brother is, and _more_. You’ve already got people on your side after everything you’ve done, so just think about how they’ll thank you for this. You’ll be the most loved woman in the _world_. And your mind; you’re smarter than your brother,” Edge said, trying to manipulate her with his enticing words. It didn’t work though.

 

            Shooting the floor before him, Lena pointed the gun back at Edge, and at the movement from Lord, had her second pistol out and pointed at him. “Neither of you move. I’ll shoot you – don’t test me. Now, tell your men to stand down, before I blow your brains out.”

 

            Lord laughed, “see, there’s that Luthor temper.”

 

            “I’m not fucking around,” Lena coldly replied, her eyes sharp as she looked at him.

 

            And then there was a searing heat tearing through her shoulder, and she dropped the gun in her left hand, stumbling slightly from the impact. It didn’t hurt, but she knew she’d been shot, and she quickly dropped to the floor, letting loose a wild shot, catching Maxwell Lord in the leg, and watching as he limped off, cursing loudly. She couldn’t hear her, but Lena was dimly aware of Kara’s mouth open in a silent scream as she looked at Lena in horror, and Lena gave her a small smile. Rolling to the side, she climbed to her feet, her left arm held tight against her body, and pointed the gun at the first man she saw. Her shot missed, but it gave her a moment to run to the wall of the warehouse, hiding behind the boxes and containers which hadn’t been here last time; she didn’t need to open them to know what was inside.

 

            Bullets rained down around her, and she was lucky that they were terrible shots, or she would’ve been riddled with them. Crouching behind one of the crates, she squeezed her eyes shut, a sharp pain in her shoulder every time she breathed in and out, and Lena knew that she was alone in this. Alex wasn’t here yet, and it was early in the morning, which meant that she’d be stuck in traffic, despite the sirens, and the hired thugs were going to come after her no matter what, and she had to do what was necessary to save Kara; to save herself. Taking a deep breath, she climbed to her feet, turning just in time to come face to face with a hulking man. His gun wasn’t raised all the way, and Lena quickly span and kicked it out of his hands, before following through with another higher kick to his face. He stumbled into the container, a snarl contorting his face as he steadied himself and made a grab for Lena, missing as she dodged to the right and then punched him squarely across the face. She wasn’t so lucky the next time, feeling her lip split under the heavy fist, and she spat a mouthful of blood in his face when he grabbed her by the front of her sweatshirt. The gun was still in her hand and she shot a bullet into his foot, watching as the man screamed and doubled over, and when he looked up at her, she headbutted him in the nose, hearing it crack, and the man collapsed to the floor, unconscious. It brought the others running to her, and she fired off two shots, and she knew her aim was perfect, so she purposely aimed for non-fatal areas, unwilling to cross that line just yet. Two of them dropped from leg injuries, and another kept running, one hand clamped to his arm as red blood seeped out from between his fingers. He ducked under her first punch, sweeping her legs out from under her, and Lena’s head cracked against the concrete floor, making her vision turn black for a moment.

 

            She blinked as she tried to concentrate, and then the man was on top of her grabbing her face in his bloody hand and squeezing slightly while he pulled a small knife out of his belt. He smiled as he pressed the tip of it into one of her cheeks, and Lena let out a small hiss of pain as the sharp edge cut into her skin. She abruptly jerked her knee up, catching the man in the groin, and he let out a grunt of pain, giving her enough of a distraction to grab his hand holding the knife, turn it around in his hands and plunge it into his shoulders. He bit back a scream, and Lena pushed him off her, leaving him writhing on the floor in pain as she darted off through the warren of boxes and containers. She had to get somewhere where they wouldn’t find her – just for a moment. Her feet slapped on the floor, and she could hear footsteps behind her, growing close and closer, despite how fast she was running. A moment later, she was tackled around the waist, and went crashing to the floor. It was a woman this time, and she smiled widely at Lena, relishing the challenge. Spitting out a mouthful of blood, Lena returned the smile, wiping her mouth as she settled into a crouch. She didn’t give the woman the chance to make the first move, she just threw herself at her, driving them both to the ground, and started pummeling the other woman’s face. She fought back, but she was no match for Lena, and she was out cold a moment later. Another man and woman rounded the corner just as Lena reached for her gun, and she quickly incapacitated them both, her gun clicking as she reached the end of the magazine. As a second man came at her from the right, Lena threw the gun at him with all of her might, striking him on the forehead, and then she climbed to her feet, not waiting to see if he was knocked out or just stunned.

 

            She crept and ran around the whole warehouse, having only her knife left to defend herself with, and she was soon covered in blood – some of it her own, and some of it the hired thugs’ – and her hands shook as she stepped over the body of the last man. She’d counted fifteen people when she’d first come in, and she’d taken them all out, which just left Edge and Lord, if they hadn’t run off like cowards. Bending down to pick up and abandoned pistol, she stepped around the edge of the container and walked out into the middle of the warehouse, taking in the sight of a struggling Kara, still strapped to the chair. Lord and Edge were in there with her, but Lena didn’t care about what they did to her, because she’d come here for Kara, and she wasn’t leaving without her. Dragging herself over to the container, she stepped through the door and into the glass room, breathing heavily as she stared at both of the men. They were all silent for a moment, and then she lashed out with the knife, catching Lord in the chest, just a bit too high to fatally pierce his heart, and had the gun levelled at Edge within the next heartbeat. He had anticipated her movement and had a gun pointed straight at Kara, watching as Lena’s arm faltered a second, before she steeled herself and kept the gun trained on him.

 

            “Lena-“ Kara started, but Lena cut her off, not even looking at her, because she knew all the fight in her would drain away the second that she did.

 

            “Drop the gun, Edge,” Lena quietly told him, her voice stone cold and calm as she stared at him, willing herself not to look at Kara.

 

            “Come on, Lena. Give up. There’s no way you can win this,” he said, smirking as he watched her struggle. “Which side is going to win, hm? Do you _really_ have what it takes to kill me? Are you _actually_ your brother? Or are you more? Drop the gun; join us.”

 

            Lena’s breathing hitched, and she felt lightheaded, the gun trembling slightly in her hand, “stop it.”

 

            “It’s you or her,” Edge said, “you can’t have both. Either you shoot me to save her, and you give up yourself … or you let me take her, and you can save yourself. I’ll make her death quick – I promise.”

 

            Lena adjusted her grip on the gun, her palm slick with sweat and blood, as she shook her head. “I’ll give up myself every time, Edge,” Lena laughed, feeling numb as she shook, “that’s the difference between me and my brother; I put the people I love first. Fortunately, I’ve never had anyone to make this sacrifice for, but I’ll do it _gladly_. So, go ahead, try me.” She bared her teeth, her lip curling back in disgust.

 

            And then there was the pressure of something hard being pressed up against her lower back, slightly off centre, and Lena stiffened. “Go ahead, sweetheart,” Lord murmured in her ear, his voice filled with amusement, “pull the trigger. I dare you.”

 

            She finally looked at Kara, who was silently crying, shaking her head slightly as she looked at Lena, and there was no fear in her eyes, only a begging look for Lena to save herself. Closing her eyes, Lena slowly exhaled, making up her mind; she couldn’t let Kara die, even if it meant losing the best pieces of herself. She lowered her arm, turning the gun on herself and shot herself through the shoulder, hearing the sound of Lord gasping as surprise as the bullet tore through her and into him. The gun against her back fell away, and before she could even think, she threw herself forward, tackling the Kara and the chair to the ground, covering her with her body as she waited for Edge to react to what she’d done.

 

            As a gun went off, it took her a moment to realize that she hadn’t been shot, and she felt cold inside as she pushed herself up slightly, staring into wide, tearful blue eyes – very much alive eyes – and frowned slightly. Kara looked over her shoulder and let out a small sob, and it was filled with relief, and Lena whirled around to look at Alex, who was lowering a gun. Whipping her head around the other way, Lena stared at the body on the floor, and the pool of red slowly seeping towards her. Alex had killed him. Choking on her relief, Lena pushed herself off Kara, scrambling backwards, and freezing when her hand hit the pool of warm blood, and then she vomited all over herself. She was shaking and dizzy, and cold all over from shock, and it was all too much for her, so she just burst into tears.

 

\---

 

            She was standing in the hallway, staring into the medical lab at the blonde girl laying on a hospital bed, covered with wires and needles. Her arm was in a sling and she supported herself on the IV stand as it slowly dripped blood and fluid into her. She should’ve been in bed, but the drugs they had given her were enough to take the pain away long enough for her to come and get a glimpse of Kara as they ran tests on her. Her powers were gone, and she wasn’t healing, and a cluster of scientists buzzed around her.

 

            “Here.”

 

            Lena jumped slightly, looking down at the takeaway cup of coffee held out to her, and then up into Alex’s brown eyes. They didn’t look angry or suspicious at her for once; instead they looked scared and pitying, and Lena quickly looked away, swallowing the lump in her throat. She reached out for the coffee, wondering if she should be drinking it, but not caring. Her eyes were itchy and she felt exhausted, and despite the drugs, she felt like she was going to drop where she stood. She didn’t remember getting brought to the DEO, and she’d been out for hours, from what she’d gathered, feeling grateful for it, because when she’d woken up, all the pain was gone and she’d been cleaned and patched up. They told her she was going to be fine – physically – but Lena didn’t feel fine. She felt hollow.

 

            “Thank you,” Alex said, and Lena sharply turned to look at her again. She frowned, wincing as her bruised and cut face protested at the movement, and just stared at Alex. “Thank you for saving her.”

 

            “You saved her,” Lena numbly replied.

 

            “No,” Alex said, “ _you_ did. If you weren’t there … I can’t ever repay you for that. I- well, I, uh, I was wrong about you.”

 

            Lena let out a cold laugh, her split and swollen lips twitching slightly, almost as if she was about to smile. “No, you were right – about all of it, all of _me_.”

 

            “Lena-“

 

            “Will you tell her I said goodbye?” Lena asked, her eyes pricking with tears as she looked back at Kara through the window, cutting Alex off before she could say whatever she was going to say.

 

            Alex was silent for a moment, and Lena could feel her stare on the side of her head. “What do you mean?”

 

            “Tell her I’m sorry – about everything – and ask her not to come and visit. Please. She’ll understand why I can’t- I need to be alone. She’ll understand.”

 

            “No, she won’t,” Alex curtly replied, “she _loves_ you. Did she tell you that?”

 

            Lena turned to face her, giving her a grim smile, “no, but I had a feeling.”

 

            She handed the untouched coffee back to Alex, before she tore the needles out of her arms, swaying slightly as she let go of the IV stand. Alex reached out and gripped her upper arm tightly, and Lena looked up, seeing the familiar anger in her eyes again. “What the hell are you doing, huh? You’re playing with real emotions here - _her_ emotions – and you’re going to hurt her.”

 

            “Not as much as it hurts to let my brother near her,” Lena said, “I’m doing this for her sake. You can understand that, right?”

 

            “Of course I can; I love her too,” Alex exclaimed, “look, I know what just happened was … you’re not trained for this. Just take some time, but please don’t break her heart.”

 

            “Tell her she was right - it _is_ nice,” Lena said, looking down at the floor as she pulled her arm out of Alex’s grasp and shouldered past her, moving as quick as she could before the other girl could see her cry.

 

            “What was nice?” Alex shouted after her, but Lena didn’t reply, she just kept on staggering towards the exit.

 

            It was Lucy who found her trying to find the exit, and she helped her downstairs and into a car, insisting on driving her home, and Lena didn’t have the energy to protest. She closed her eyes as the city passed by, and the sky was only just starting to darken as the sun started to disappear over the horizon, painting the sky a fiery orange. It had been the longest day of Lena’s life, and she just wanted to erase the whole thing from her memory. The last time she had felt this tired and drained and empty was the night Jack had died. This time, she’d managed to save the person she loved though, and she let out a shuddering breath at the thought of how close she’d come to losing someone else. It had been a mistake to let someone close, because Lena should’ve learnt by now that everyone ended up leaving, one way or another. She should’ve guarded her heart more, and as it ached in her chest, she regretted not doing so.

 

            As soon as she got back to her apartment, she stripped her clothes off, leaving the lingering smell of blood, vomit and hospitals in a pile on the floor as she walked towards the bathroom, snagging a bottle of vodka on the way. Not even pausing to take off her underwear, she climbed into the bath and started running the water, her skin breaking out in goosebumps as cold water splashed over her. She couldn’t bring herself to care though, putting the plug in and taking a swig of vodka as she lay against the edge of the tub. Her sling was soon wet as the water rose, and both of the bullet wounds felt hot, so she kept drinking, until the bottle was half empty and she didn’t hurt as much.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soz I’m on holiday again lol

  Kara slid a few quarters into the phone booth machine, dialling Alex’s number and listening to it ring while she shook slightly from the cold. She was splattered with rain, and her fingers were numb as she clutched the phone - she’d accidentally broken her phone when she’d overestimated her newfound weakness and didn’t quite make the throw onto the bed - and Kara decided that she didn’t much care for the cold. Her core temperature was usually a few degrees hotter than a normal human, almost as if drawing her powers from the sun had turned her into a mini condensed version of one, but now, she was drained, and a chill had seeped into every part of her.

 

  “Come on, come on,” she muttered, listening to the phone ring.

 

  _“Hello?”_

 

  Kara let out a relieved sigh at the sound of Alex’s bleary voice, and she couldn’t keep the tremble out of her voice as she spoke. “I found her.”

 

_“Kara, it’s ... god, it’s two o’clock in the morning. Why are you even searching for her this late? You need to rest now, you know you-“_

 

  “I know,” Kara tensely replied, her grip tightening on the phone, “I found her though. What do I do?”

 

  There was a slight pause, and she heard Alex sigh and the quiet creak of her bed as she shifted. _“Where are you? I’ll come with you to see her.”_

 

  “There’s a bar on Boulevard and Thirty-Sixth,” Kara told her, “I’m across the road from it.”

 

  “I’ll be there soon.”

 

  The line went dead as soon as Alex finished speaking, and the machine rattled as the coins fell into the drawer inside it. Letting out a shaky breath, Kara huddled up inside the phone booth and watched rain trickle down the windows, blurring the lights of the neon bar across the street. She’d been checking all of Lena’s old haunts for weeks - not that there were many - and with no luck, she’d expanded her search, largely focusing on Veronica Sinclair’s other bars and clubs, knowing that Lena was somewhat friendly with her martial arts teacher. So far she’d come up empty handed, but she was sure that she’d seen Lena slink into the bar as she’d casually passed by on the off chance that she’d get lucky tonight. Luck was on her side, because even with her normal eyesight, she would know those hunched shoulders in the black hooded sweatshirt, as if trying to go unnoticed, and the hands buried deep into the pockets of the ripped jeans, most likely balled into fists, knowing Lena.

 

  She jumped at a tap on the glass, dragging her eyes away from the bar to look at who was stood outside. It was only Alex, and Kara’s pale face seems to lose its startled look when she stared into the comforting eyes that looked black in the dark. Stepping out of the phone booth, Kara stamped her feet on the sidewalk, trying to keep moving to keep warm.

 

  “You’re sure it’s her?” Alex asked, reaching out to squeeze Kara’s upper arm reassuringly.

 

  Swallowing the lump in her throat, Kara shook her head and look down at the puddle forming beneath her feet as rain steadily fell. “No. I can’t hear her heartbeat to know. I think it is though, so I have to try.”

 

  “Well alright then,” Alex quietly agreed, slinging an arm around Kara’s shoulder and propelling then towards the edge of the sidewalk. The street was packing with cars and crowds of drunk people switching clubs and bars, or heading home, and they stepped out into the clogged up traffic, weaving in and out of cars and people, and found themselves on the other side of the street. Staring at the neon flickering light above the door, Kara grit her teeth together, fishing her ID out of her pocket and getting into line. They were stamped and waved inside when they reached the front, and the loud music blanketed almost everything, except raucous laughter, as they stepped inside. Glad that it was a bar and not a club, Kara scanned the room, trying to catch a glimpse of Lena.

 

  Kara told Alex to take a seat at the bar and drink - she needed to do this part alone - and started moving through the room in search of dark hair and pale skin, and those sharp, intense green eyes. Kara’s eyes would know then when they saw them. Near a back door guarded by another bouncer, Kara watched as a hulking man approached and gave him a curt nod, telling him he was there for the roulette game, and he was quickly let through. After another sweep of the room, Kara wondered if perhaps Lena was gambling with the man and other people, and quickly approached the bouncer.

 

  He raised his eyebrows at her, and she nervously fiddled with the cuff of her shirt as she gave her a hesitant smile. “Hi, I, uh, I’m here for the, um, you know, the roulette,” Kara quietly told him. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it, he just nodded and opened the door, quickly waving her through and slamming it shut behind her.

 

  Instantly, everything seemed to dull, as if a blanket had been draped over Kara’s senses. The music in the bar was distant, as if she was listening to it from underwater, and the hallway she was in was dark, leaving her stumbling forwards as she trailed her hands along the wall to keep her balance. Her mouth felt dry, and she could hear her heart beating loudly in her chest. Her foot hit the first step, and she almost went tumbling down the flight of stairs, catching herself at the last moment and carefully walking down them. She came face to face with another door, and more bouncers, and after a quick pat down, she was let inside.

 

  The sound that assaulted her senses made Kara wince. There was loud screaming and shouting, and a crowd of people were gathered around something that very clearly wasn’t roulette, the room dark except for the light swinging over the area everyone gathered around. Her curiosity got the better of her, and Kara had a sinking feeling that Lena would be at the centre of the crowd, so she pushed her way through the mass of heavily muscled men and women, most of them sporting a frightening amount of tattoos and piercings. She was in striking contrast with her baby blue sweater and plaid shirt combo, and she knew that she was very out of place.

 

  Nearing the front of the crowd, she peeked through a gap between two men and her mouth fell open at the sight. It was an underground fight club, and right at the centre, smiling as a man three times the size pummelled her, was Lena. She didn’t even seem to be trying to defend herself, and Kara blanched at the heavy blow that landed on her cheek, splitting open the porcelain skin and causing a spurt of blood to pour out of Lena’s mouth. She just laughed, weaving unsteadily on her feet, and spat in the man’s face, making him even angrier. Kara wanted to stop the fight, but she knew that Lena would only hurt herself even more if Kara stepped in now, so she silently watched in horror as Lena let him get in a few more good gut shots, before she tired of toying with him. Quicker than Kara would’ve thought her capable of in her state, she had braced one foot against the man’s knee, boosting herself up to be able to sling her other leg over his shoulder, before letting the momentum of her movement drag her back down, with both legs wrapped around the man’s neck. He came down with her, and after a heavy kick to his face, he was out cold - as quick as that.

 

  “Our undefeated champion,” a woman called out, and Kara recognised her as Veronica, and saw the concern on the other girl’s face as she looked at Lena. “Who thinks they have what it takes to take her down? Any volunteers, or are you cowardly bastards too scared to be beaten by someone half of your size?”

 

  There was a lot of laughter and jeering as people egged each other on and gave them judges of encouragement. Taking a deep breath, Kara pushed through the crowd and took a deep breath as she raised her hand. “I will.”

 

  It took a moment for the crowd to realise, and they burst into more cheers, clearly hoping for a good display from Lena. She was staring at Kara with wide, fearful eyes, her face looking ghostly pale beneath all of the blood and the harsh fluorescent light dangling overhead. Without a word, she turned around and pushed through the crowd, and Kara didn’t miss the sharp look Veronica shot her as she stumbled after Lena. There were cries of protest from the crowd as their champion competitor left, but Kara blocked them out as she hurried after Lena.

 

  Pushing through the crowd, Lena wiped at the blood on her face with a shaking hand, feeling her heart hammer in her chest as she made for the door. Her feet pounded on the stairs as she headed upstairs for the bar, and she was just slipping behind the bar, keeping her head ducked, when Kara called her name. She hadn’t been quick enough to dodge her. Still, Lena ignored her, feeling her eyes burn as she blinked back tears, and her swollen and bloody lips parted as she let out a shaky breath. Shouldering open the door leading to the apartments upstairs, Lena kept on going, silently praying that Kara wouldn’t follow her ... but of course she did.

 

  Before she could even unlock the apartment door - her hands were shaking too much - Kara was at the top of the stairs, her breathing slightly laboured and her wet hair sticking to her face. “Lena,” she breathlessly murmured, and Lena swallowed the lump in her throat as she squeezed her eyes shut.

 

  “You should go,” she choked out, sliding the key into the lock this time, and opening the door. Before she could shut it behind her, a hand banged against the wood, and she looked up to find herself face to face with Kara for the first time in weeks.

 

  “Wait,” Kara said, her eyes silently begging, and Lena had to look away.

 

  “Did Alex not relay my message properly?” Lena asked.

 

  A flicker of anger crossed Kara’s face, and she shoved the door open more, sending Lena stumbling back slightly, and kicked it shut behind her. “That’s all I get? A shitty excuse passed on by my sister? You don’t even have the decency to say it to my face? Did I really mean that little to you?”

 

  Sighing, Lena made her way down the dark hallway, flipping switches as she went, and walked straight to one of the cupboards in the kitchen. Fetching a bottle of whiskey, she poured a small amount into a glass and slid it across the counter, towards Kara, who was waiting expectantly. Lena drank straight from the bottle. She watched as Kara picked up the glass and took a sip, keeping her eyes locked on Lena’s. When the burning alcohol had warmed every inch of her, Lena set the bottle down on the counter, leaving the cap off because she knew she’d be finishing the bottle tonight.

 

  “Why now?” she hoarsely asked, “it’s been weeks.”

 

  A hysterical laugh passed Kara’s lips, and her eyes flashed with pain. “I couldn’t find you,” Kara admitted, “I’ve been searching for weeks.”

 

  “You shouldn’t have bothered,” Lena quietly told her, “you’re only making this more difficult for yourself.”

 

  “No, I’m making it more difficult for you,” Kara corrected her, “because you love me, don’t you? You told Alex and Lord as much.”

 

  “Just leave it alone, Kara,” Lena sighed, already reaching for the bottle again. A crease formed between her eyebrows as she tipped the bottle back, feeling the searing heat of the stream of whiskey as it burnt its way down.

 

  The glass was slammed down on the counter, smashing with the force of it, and Lena stumbled back slightly, lowering the bottle as she looked at Kara in surprise. Her eyes were glistening with tears as she looked at Lena with anger, and hurt written all over her face, and not from the shallow cuts on her hand from the smashed glass. “No, I won’t leave it alone. I let you get away with so much shit because I liked you, and then I loved you, and you knew how I felt and you let this carry on anyway. So now you don’t get to say goodbye and tell me to just leave it alone and move on with my life without a proper conversation. Just tell me why. Tell me why now. After everything, what was the final straw? Because I’ve given up everything for this, and I-I don’t even have my powers anymore. That’s why I couldn’t find you. The gold kryptonite they exposed me to ... that’s what it does, and I don’t know, maybe it’s- maybe it’s permanent, but maybe it’s not. No one knows. I can’t- I’m not me anymore - not completely - so tell me what you gave up for this?”

 

  “Myself,” Lena cried out, “I gave up myself. I killed a person - I think - I don’t know if Lord died because of me, or- or because of another agent, but he’s dead and I shot him. I shot him through me, and I did that for you. I-I lost him and it was unbearable, but you ... god, I wouldn’t have been able to cope without you. I would’ve torn them all apart if I had to, and I would’ve given up every piece of me - all of the good parts - to save you. I crossed a line I swore I never would - I almost did that for Jack, but I didn’t, but I did for you. I went too far, Kara. I can’t- you know what my family is like. I haven’t seen Jack in months, did you know that? That’s because of you. It took meeting you for me to be able to process my grief, and to realise that if I lost you ... there would be no one else who could make me get over that grief. I can’t do this- I can’t love you with my brother around. He always manages to take everything I care about away from me, and I won’t let him take you away. And you telling me your powers are gone just reaffirms my decision; I won’t let you get hurt.”

 

  “This is my decision to make,” Kara quietly replied, “I get to decide if my life is worth risking for you, and it is. I’ve risked it over and over again for you, because I could never watch you die.”

 

  Lena gave her a bloody smile, her eyes sparkling with tears, “well I thought I was going to watch you die, and I can’t do it again, so no, it’s not your decision to make, Kara. My mental health comes first, and losing you would break me.”

 

  “Why?”

 

  “Kara-“

 

  “Just say it once,” Kara asked her, a longing in her voice.

 

  “Khap zhao rrip,” Lena whispered.

 

  Kara sucked in a deep breath as she listened to Lena stumble over the unfamiliar Kryptonian, listening to the words she’s last heard uttered by her mother as she sent Kara to earth. Lena watched the conflicting emotions flash across Kara’s face. I love you.

 

  “H-how do you-“ she couldn’t even finish the question, and Lena gave her a bittersweet smile.

 

  “I used my brother’s database to find out what Kryptonian he knew. I was teaching myself for you, because I- that’s what people do for people they- people they love.” The word seemed more weighted in English - to Lena at least - and she put her feelings out there as she cut away all ties to Kara in the same moment, “and they push people away to protect them too. I’m sorry for what you’ve lost, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t- I wish we were different people. Maybe in another life my family would be dead and I wouldn’t be who I am, and we could just be normal. I wish this was that life, but it’s not possible, Kara. I’m sorry.”

 

  Wiping at her wet cheeks, Kara gave her a tearful smile. “Don’t be sorry; this is the most honest you’ve ever been - with me and yourself, I think. Just ... look after yourself, please. No more fighting, and try and cut back on the drinking and- and just- if you need anything, call Alex, please. You won’t h-have to see me again, but I only- I only want what’s best for you.”

 

  Lena’s bottom lip trembled as she looked at Kara, “I know, and I want that for you too. Be happy, Kara. You deserve it more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

 

  Nodding, Kara choked on a sob, smiling through her heartbreak as she turned around and walked towards the door. There was nothing left to say, and Lena hated to watch her walk away from her; it hurt more than all of the times she’d walked away from Kara, even though this was technically her doing as well. The door shut behind Kara, leaving Lena alone, and she reached for the bottle, bringing it to her lips, before hesitating and screwing the cap back on. She put it back into the cupboard and walked towards the bathroom.

 

  Sitting in a tub of cold water, stained pink from her blood, Lena miserably poked and prodded the bruises peppering her skin, feeling the sharp pain in her heart more than she did the physical wounds. She told herself that she was doing what was best for both of them, but she couldn’t help but wish her brother was dead, because he would never stop, and he would hurt anyone close to Lena. Yet even though she knew it was necessary, she couldn’t help but feel like she was punishing herself for some reason, and perhaps it was because of her family’s wrongdoings, or the fact that she thought she wasn’t worthy of someone like Kara loving her, but Lena knew that it didn’t make a difference either way. She was keeping Kara safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does anyone actually know the full translation of I love you in kryptonian? I searched for like 10 minutes and nothing solid came up so that was as close as I could get


	33. Chapter 33

            “Hey! Stop right there! Hands where I can see them!”

 

            Lena froze, letting go of the chokehold she held the man in. He slumped to the floor unconscious, and Lena hunched her shoulders as she slowly raised her hands, seeing her own shadow on the floor before her as the flashlight shone on her back. She didn’t turn around, but she looked at the pitted ground of the alleyway off to her left, letting the hood of her sweatshirt hide her face in shadow. Instead of her suit, she wore casual clothes, with a bandana covering the lower half of her face and every intention of fighting as many people as she could, with very little concern for her own safety. A part of her hadn’t expected to be caught, but there was the side of her that had willingly gone onto the streets without a disguise, recklessly throwing herself in harms way just so she would have an excuse to feel the hurt that didn’t seem to go away, no matter what she did. Kara had asked her not to fight, and not to drink, so she went onto the street, ‘saving’ people, because at least then her bruises had a purpose. Still, she hadn’t expected to be caught, but she didn’t even care that she had.

 

            “Turn around.”

 

            Lena sighed, recognizing the voice, as footsteps approached her. It was Detective Sawyer – the same officer who has arrested her down by the docks – and Lena knew that she wouldn’t be able to get out of this one that easily, because she’d been suspicious last time she’d arrested Lena, and had been all too happy to shoot her the other time she’d cornered her. Debating whether or not to run anyway, Lena hesitated, her back to Maggie and her hands in the air.

 

            “Hey, hey! Hold up,” another voice shouted, and Lena let out a quiet groan as she recognized the voice. “FBI, lower your weapon.”

 

            “This is in my jurisdiction,” Maggie said, sounding irritated at the interruption, “this is a suspect in an ongoing investigation, so if you don’t mind, Agent, we’ll handle it from here.”

 

            “They’re with me,” Alex coolly replied, “they’re part of a secret division, like Supergirl.”

 

            Maggie laughed, and Lena grimaced slightly at the mention of Kara. “Oh yeah? And where’s Supergirl been lately? I haven’t seen her stirring up trouble in a while. Seems like things have settled down since she’s disappeared, and the only one causing trouble now is the vigilante.”

 

            “Like I said, they’re an undercover government operative,” Alex stiffly told her, and Lena smirked slightly, desperately wishing that she could turn around and watch the confrontation. After being arrested and interrogated by both, she wasn’t sure which one she was more pleased about being confronted by the other. “So we’ll take it from here. Your work is appreciated though, Detective.”

 

            Lena waited as she listened to them bicker, wondering whether or not she should try and risk a quick escape while they were both distracted, but before she could move, Maggie holstered her gun and walked back to the police cruiser, and Lena could imagine the daggers she was glaring her way. Hoping that Alex wasn’t focused on her, Lena took a step forward, but was stopped before she could even take another step.

 

            “What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?” Alex hissed, her hand clamping down on Lena’s shoulder before she could make her escape. Alex roughly jerked her around and slammed her into the brick wall of the alley, one hand balled up in the front of Lena’s hoodie.

 

            “What I always do,” Lena laughed, “doing _your_ job for you.”

 

            A flicker of anger crossed Alex’s face and she added more pressure to the arm pinning Lena to the wall. “You’re being stupid, and you’re not stupid.”

 

            Laughing, Lena looked away, wiping at her bloody nose as she focused on the light at the end of the alley. “Yeah, well, you don’t even know me, Agent Danvers.”

 

            “Hey, look at me. Hey! I’m talking to you,” Alex snapped, and Lena whipped her head back around to face her, giving Alex a small push, breaking her grip on the front of Lena’s sweatshirt. “Whatever self-destructive pity party you’re throwing yourself, knock it off. I haven’t been tailing you for _weeks_ just to see you end up behind bars,” Alex snapped.

 

            Lena froze, her heart sounding loud in her ears as she stood against the wall. “You’ve been _following_ me?”

 

            “Of _course_ I’ve been following you,” Alex snapped, “she can’t do it herself, so I’ve been doing it for her. Of course she doesn’t _know_ that I’ve been following you, but if anything happened, I’d never forgive myself.”

 

            “Why do you care,” Lena coldly laughed.

 

            Alex huffed, rolling her eyes as she ran a hand through her short hair. “Because she loves you, you idiot. She’s out of her mind every day because she can’t hear your heartbeat, and it’s driving me nuts. I love my sister - you might not understand that, but you know what it’s like to love her in a different way - and I might not be ... fond of you, or your ... _extracurricular activities_ , but I’ve broken the law for her before, so if I have to tail you and not bring you in, then I’ll do it for her, to make sure you don’t get hurt.”

 

            “Thanks for the concern, but I don’t need your protection,” Lena said, swallowing the lump in her throat as she looked away from Alex’s sharp stare.

 

            “Do you want me to call my new friend back? I’m sure she’d _love_ to put you in cuffs,” Alex snorted, grabbing Lena by the arm and pushing her down the alley, “I can put you in a cell if you’ll feel better.”

 

            “Stop pushing me,” Lena hissed, stumbling as Alex prodded her forward again.

 

            “Just get in the fucking car,” Alex snapped, walking out of the alley and opening the door of the haphazardly parked car on the curb, “I swear to god, Luthor, if you try and run, I’ll shoot you.”

 

            Grumbling, Lena tugged her hood further forward, and walked over to the passenger side, begrudgingly climbing inside and slamming the door shut behind her. Burying her hands in her pocket, she slouched in her seat and ignored Alex as she climbed into the driver’s seat. “Put your belt on,” Alex ordered her, and Lena rolled her eyes and sighed as she buckled up, crossing her arms over her chest and silently brooding as Alex pulled into traffic.

 

            They were silent up until Lena realised that they weren’t going back to her place, and as the building and streets grew familiar, she straightened up, pressing one hand against the window as she peered out into the dark. “What’re you doing? Take me home,” Lena angrily told Alex, turning to face her.

 

            “Just get your shit together and talk to her,” Alex said, giving Lena an exasperated look as she carried on driving.

 

            “Don’t you think that if I wanted to talk to her, I would’ve called?”

 

            “Obviously _not_ ,” Alex said in a biting tone, “you’re just too scared.”

 

            Lena made a sound of indignation, “I am not scared. Not of your sister, not of _you_ , not of anyone.”

 

            Alex let out a sharp laugh, “I know you’re not scared of _me_ \- you’re scared of _yourself_.” At the venomous glare that Lena shot her, Alex gave her a wry smile, “we’re more alike than you might think, you know. Maybe that’s why we keep clashing. Anyway, I’ve lost people too, and I didn’t come out of it all sunshine and rainbows like Kara did - I came out like you. I know you lost him - Jack, right? - yeah, I read the files.”

 

            “Stay out of my personal life,” Lena snarled, the muscles of her face stiffening in her anger. She sat rigidly in her seat as Alex pulled up on the curb across from Kara’s apartment building.

 

            “Listen, I’m just trying to _help_ ,” Alex started, but Lena cut her off, pushing open the door.

 

            “Don’t be so condescending; I’m not a child and I never asked for your help,” Lena snapped, climbing out and slamming the door shut.

 

            The sound of the door opening and closing reached her ears before she could even make it a few steps, and Lena sighed as Alex called after her. “Hey! Why are you doing this?”

 

            “It’s none of your business,” Lena exclaimed, whirling around and giving Alex an incredulous look, “why do you think that I’d want to talk to _you_ about it, of all people.”

 

            “Is it your mom?” Alex shouted, “your brother? I can help you.” Lena turned around and kept walking, feeling her anger growing as Alex pushed her. “You’re going to get yourself killed if you keep it up.”

 

            “It’s not like anyone gives a shit,” Lena threw over her shoulder.

 

            She could hear Alex’s quieter curses as she kept on walking, hoping that the conversation was over. “Lena! Just talk to her! You’re both driving me insane, and I’m sick of it. I’ll arrest you if you don’t!”

 

            Letting out a loud laugh, Lena turned around, walking backwards with her hands in her pockets. “You’re threatening me now?”

 

            Alex opened her mouth to reply, but she didn’t get a word out before someone else had joined in. Kara. “Alex! What the _hell_ are you doing? It’s midnight!” she hissed from the open window, her skin barely illuminated from a nearby streetlight.

 

            “Go back to bed, Kara,” Alex called up at her, “forget about it ... and stop eavesdropping!”

 

            “I’m _not_ eavesdropping,” Kara quietly called back, “you’re just yelling really loud!”

 

            Shaking her head, Lena turned around and kept walking, blocking out the noise of the two sisters having a conversation from the curb and window. A few minutes later, headlights illuminated her and a car slowed down; she didn’t have to check to see who it was, and she sighed as the window slid down. “Get in the car.”

 

            “I’ll walk.”

 

            “Just get in the god damn car!”

 

            “I don’t _need_ your help,” Lena snapped.

 

            Alex muttered a string of curses at her, keeping pace with Lena’s brisk walk, “it’s a ride home, it’s not like I’m helping you kill your family. Just get in the car and stop being so childish.”

 

            “Childish?” Lena laughed, “you’ve spent months hating me and trying to find a way to bring me down, so sorry if I’m not so trusting.”

 

            “Oh _please_ , don’t act like I wasn’t trying to do my job, and that I didn’t help you get away with a tonne of illegal shit. Including attempted murder, I might add. And sparing you from becoming an _actual_ murderer – because that’s all on me now.”

 

            “You did that for Kara,” Lena sharply said, coming to a stop and watching as Alex slammed on the breaks, reversing slightly until she was level with Lena again. “If it wasn’t for me, she would’ve been dead. My brother would’ve killed her, and you wouldn’t have even known she was there.”

 

            “If it wasn’t for _you_ , she wouldn’t have been there in the first place.”

 

            Lena reached out and opened the door, sliding into the passenger seat and buckling herself in. She turned and gave Alex a wry smile, “now you’re getting it.”

 

            Alex just sighed, shaking her head as she put her foot down and silently drove through the city. It was the most uncomfortable ride of Lena’s life, and she wasn’t sure if it was because Alex had arrested her multiple times, or the fact that she was Kara’s sister and was actually trying to help get them back together. Either way, Lena was regretting getting back in the car more and more, with each second that passed. By the time they pulled up outside her building, she was anxious to get inside and be alone, but she knew that Alex wouldn’t let her off the hook that easily – especially not after just getting her out of being arrested by the cops.

 

            “Listen, Lena, I know you’re just trying to protect her, and she’s more vulnerable than ever without her powers, but that only means that she needs you even more. You love her right? That hasn’t changed?” Lena shook her head, looking down at her lap as Alex continued. “You’re still alive and you don’t have any powers. I’m alive and I don’t have powers. She might not be as skilled without super strength, but she’s still Kara, even if she’s not Supergirl.”

 

            “I never cared that she was Supergirl,” Lena murmured.

 

            “Then why is it so hard for you?” Alex asked, sounding exasperated as she tightly gripped the steering wheel. “I get that you’re … I don’t know, not used to it. She told me that much at least. And I know you never actually gave it a name, but who are you kidding? You love her, and she loves you, and the only thing stopping you is your own fear about your family.”

 

            Lena smiled, shaking her head slightly, “you don’t get it. You don’t have a brother who controls the prison he’s in, or a mother who could have me put down with one phone call if she thought I’d served my purpose. If they’ll do that to me, what do you think they’ll do to Kara?”

 

            Alex was silent for a few moments, before she sighed, “fine, but you can’t let them rule your life, Lena. There’s no point making yourself suffer for something that might not even happen. Besides, who knows what might happen to your family?”

 

            She nodded and opened the car door, stepping out into the cool night air and slamming the door shut behind her. Hurrying over to the front door, she let herself into the lobby and walked to the elevator, mulling over her conversation with Alex. Something about the way she kept bringing up Lena’s family made her suspicious, and she wondered to what lengths Alex would go to make her sister happy. She’d already broken the law, and she’d killed people in the name of the law, but Lena couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps Agent Danvers was more cold blooded than she had thought. She waited until she made it up to her apartment before she fished her phone out of her pocket and dialled Alex's number.

 

            "How far are you willing to go to help me?"


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading and commenting, I really appreciate it :)

            “Are you sure this will work?” Lena quietly asked, and Alex rolled her eyes as she scoffed.

 

            “I’m an Agent, Luthor, I know what I’m doing,” Alex told her, peering out the windscreen at the towering walls of the prison, lit by the floodlights and giving them a good view of the gates. “Just keep low, and whatever you do, don’t get out of the van.”

 

            Lena huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she slunk down in her seat, her eyes barely able to see over the dashboard. They had been sat outside for two hours, in the front seats of an unmarked van, waiting until the plan went into action. Alex was outfitted in her DEO gear, a rifle in her lap, and a pistol holstered at her waist in preparation of things going south. It was a still night, and the leaves on the trees barely stirred, and no sounds broke the silence of the night at the late hour. It was just past midnight, and no traffic had passed by in a while, leaving them to quietly go over the plans again and again, making sure that they both knew what was happening. Lena knew that there had been people working for her brother inside the DEO – not just Mon-El – and so, Alex had accidentally let slip that there was going to be a transfer tomorrow night to move Lex Luthor to a more secure facility, after a tip off that he was trying to break out of prison. It was all a fabricated lie that they had come up with over the past few weeks, as a way to lure Lex into a trap, because without a doubt, he would have people coming to break him out tonight, before he could be transferred. Alex was on duty and had alerted Director Henshaw to a possible prison break tonight, and there were other agents on standby, waiting for Alex to sound the alarm. If everything went according to plan, they wouldn’t need to, because the whole situation would be taken care of by prison guards.

 

            As Lena opened her mouth to snarkily reply to Alex’s order, headlights swept around the corner, and three vans pulled up outside the prison. Straightening up in her seat, Lena looked out into the night, waiting to catch a glimpse of the action, her own fingers itching for the feel of her metal staff in hand, and she grit her teeth in frustration. She had promised to sit this one out, because it was too close to home, and she was already on the verge of getting into some serious trouble. The last thing she or the company needed was to get into trouble because she was reportedly involved in the freeing of her brother if it all went south and he managed to escape. She anxiously watched as a dozen men and women with guns and bulletproof vests climbed out, assembling at the front of the first van, and Lena felt a wave of cold fear wash over her when she saw who else was there; her mom.

 

            “We need to call this off,” Lena blurted out, scrambling to do her seatbelt up as she felt panic well up inside her.

 

            “What?”

 

            “My mom’s here.”

 

            Alex picked up the binoculars and focused them on Lillian, cursing when she made out her face in perfect clarity and saw that Lena was right. “Oh shit. This changes nothing though – if your mom gets caught up in this, it’s better for you in the end.”

 

            “You don’t understand,” Lena impatiently snapped, “we were supposed to find something dirty on her and expose it so she’d get sent to prison. If she gets caught up in this, she’ll try and take us both out, even if it means she dies trying to free my brother. We need back up – we need Kara.”

 

            “No, we need _Supergirl_ ,” Alex curtly replied, “Kara is just Kara, she can’t help us now. I’ll call it in and the DEO will back us up.”

 

            “You’re not listening to me!” Lena exploded as Alex reached for the radio on her bulletproof vest and filled Winn in on the situation, “if they come here, you’re looking at a dozen dead agents, okay? She’s ruthless, and so is he, and they have more men _inside_ , in case you forgot that not all of the prison guards are squeaky clean.” Alex sighed, double-checking her weapons and reaching for the door handle. Lena lunged across to stop Alex’ hand, her eyes blazing with anger as she looked up at Alex, whose eyebrows rose in surprise. “If you do this, and you get hurt, Kara will never forgive either of us.”

 

            Lips curling up into a smile, Alex arched an eyebrow, “jeeze, Luthor, I didn’t think you cared.” She laughed at Lena’s quiet scoff as she drew her arm back, and gave her a cocky smile. “And you shouldn’t underestimate me – I’m the best at what I do.”

 

            “So’s my mom,” Lena quietly grumbled, slinking down in her seat and scowling as Alex took the safety off her rifle and watched as the hired thugs outside crept towards the front gates of the prison. They watched as the bright lights from the prison watchtowers illuminated the group jogging towards the gate, while Lillian trailed after them at a leisurely pace, watching as explosives were piled against the bottom of the gate.

 

            “Oh fuck, they’re going to blow it open,” Alex muttered, reaching for the door and quietly opening it. Lena’s protests died on her lips as Alex quickly slipped out and closed the door behind her, leaving Lena sat in the dark, watching the agent creep up the road. She could feel her frustration and uneasiness growing with each step that Alex took towards her mom, and Lena knew that she couldn’t let her go in there alone. The other agents weren’t there yet, and Kara wasn’t coming, which meant that Lena was the only person who could back her up, and she didn’t even have a weapon.

 

            Huffing in frustration, Lena opened the van door and jumped down onto the sidewalk, cursing under her breath. As she slammed the door shut behind her, an explosion split the quiet night, and as soon as the sound of rock and iron being torn apart faded, the sounds of gunfire and screams reached her ears, which were ringing faintly. Feeling disoriented, Lena stumbled after Alex, closing her eyes and shaking her head as she tried to get rid of the aftereffects of the explosion. Further ahead, Alex was acting similarly, although she pressed on towards the prison with an urgency to her movements. Hurrying after her, Lena watched as Alex sprinted towards the mass of people shooting, as prison guards joined the fray. There were faint sirens in the distance, barely heard over the shrill prison alarm, but they were going to be a while, and so far, it looked like their plan was taking a turn for the worst. The sound of bullets pinging off the parked vans, the walls and the ground reached Lena’s ears as she drew nearer, watching as Alex raised her gun and pointed it at Lillian.

 

            Lena bit back a curse, her heart pounding in her chest as she watched Alex slowly approach her mom, who was hanging back from the fray, with a smug smile curling her lips. “Don’t move!” Alex yelled, and Lillian slowly turned around to look at her, a pistol in hand and one eyebrow arched in surprise.

 

            “No, no, no,” Lena muttered, putting on a burst of speed, even though each breath was a sharp knife to her lungs after running down the whole street in a panic. She watched as the two women faced off, both of them with their guns pointed at each other, and the slow smile that spread across Lillian’s face let Lena know that her mom wasn’t going to hesitate. She was only a few feet away, and Lillian hadn’t seen her coming yet, and in a last ditch effort, Lena threw herself at Alex, taking all three of them by surprise. They both went crashing to the ground, and Lena covered as much of Alex with her body as she could, her shoulders hunched and her eyes squeezed shut as she waited for the inevitable bullet to strike her in the back. Her mom wouldn’t hold back – not if it meant freeing her precious son.

 

            It didn’t come though, and Lena opened her eyes, looking down at Alex’s ashen face, and her brown eyes, wide with shock. Daring to look, Lena peeked over her shoulder, taking in the bullet held between a thumb and forefinger, leading up to a blue arm and a swishing red cape. Then she met eyes so blue that she couldn’t even remember to breathe for a moment, taking in the creases at the corners of them that showed the joy and happiness that Kara was feeling, even if her eyes held a glint of anger. Her powers were back. The effects of the gold kryptonite must’ve only been temporary, inhibiting Kara’s powers for a few weeks, but leaving no permanent damage. Lena let out a breathless laugh, slowly rising to her feet, along with Alex and staring straight at Kara, the three of them caught up in the moment. The sound of the henchmen and the prison guards fighting faded into the background, and it wasn’t until a familiar voice sent a chill down Lena’s spine that she dragged her eyes away from Kara.

 

            “Ah, mother,” Lex exclaimed from a dozen feet away, sauntering over to Lillian, who smiled and reached out for her son, who obediently let her place a kiss on his cheek, before he trained his cold gaze on Lena, and gave her a sharp smile. “Sister, I wasn’t expecting you. I’m so glad you could make it to the party.”

 

            Alex hefted her gun, her face a mask of anger as she looked at Lex, “get on the ground. Now! Before I shoot.”

 

            Lex laughed, turning to face Lillian and giving her a warm smile. “Well, in that case,” he said, plucking the gun from his mother’s hands and pointing it straight at Alex and firing at her. But then Kara was in front of her sister in a blur, staring across the gap between them as the crumpled bullet clattered to the ground. He laughed good naturedly and shrugged, the pistol’s aim changing with the movement, before he pointed it straight at Lena and shot. The wind was knocked out of her, and she stumbled slightly at the impact, blinking rapidly as she struggled to breathe, and silently thanking Alex for forcing her to put a vest on under her coat. Before Lex could even realize his mistake, Alex stepped past Kara and took the shot, and Lena watched as a red stain spread across the front of her brother’s jumpsuit, another spreading across his stomach as Alex shot him again. Lillian’s mouth fell open in surprise, and Lena winced slightly at the pitiful sound that fell out of her mouth, almost feeling jealous about the fact that her mom would never react like that if she was in Lex’s position. Pushing the feeling aside, Lena ran at her mom as she reached out for Lex, tackling her to the ground and pulling her hands behind her back as she dug her knee into Lillian’s back.

 

            “Stop struggling,” Lena sharply told her mom, tightening her grip around Lillian’s wrists as she avoided looking at her brother laying a few feet away, gasping as he struggled to breathe. Alex and Kara were quickly at his side, with Alex pressing her hands to the bullet wounds to try and stem the bleeding, and Lena didn’t look up as she spoke. “Leave him, Alex.”

 

            “Lena,“ Kara said, reaching out to gently touch her on the shoulder.

 

            Lena shied away from her touch, the muscles in her jaw working as she looked down at her mom, who was watching as Lex died. There was chaos all around them, as the DEO pulled up and agents dressed in black spilled out of vans, followed by uniformed police officers, and quickly took care of the rest of Lillian’s thugs. Kara climbed to her feet, blocking Lena’s view of Lex, and with startling surprise, she realized that Kara was trying to protect her from watching him die, even though Lena couldn’t care less. Someone else crouched down beside them a few moments later, and Lena looked up, coming face to face with Detective Sawyer, who cast her a surprised look as she pulled a pair of cuffs out.

 

            “I’ll take it from here, Miss Luthor,” Maggie said, raising her eyebrows slightly as she gave Lena a curious look. Slowly drawing her hands back, Lena climbed to her feet as she watched Maggie handcuff Lillian and drag her to her feet. Squaring her shoulders, Lena raised her chin slightly and looked at Lillian, whose lips curled up into a slight smirk. Neither of them said anything as she was dragged away by Maggie and a few other cops, and Lena didn’t take her eyes off her mom until she disappeared into the back of a police cruiser. Other officers were covering Lex’s body, as well as the other bodies, with white sheets, setting up little markers for evidence and shouting orders. It was all too overwhelming for Lena, and she cast a quick glance at Kara, who was wiping Alex’s bloody hands clean while the two of them talked to their Director. Using the busy crime scene to slip away, Lena pushed through the crowd and started walking down the street, picking up her pace as she tried to get as far away as possible.

 

            No one came after her.

 

\---

 

            The sound of fabric flapping caught her attention, and Lena’s lips curled up into a small smile as she turned around, coming face to face with Kara as she settled down on the runway of the airstrip. “Um, hi,” Kara said as her cape settled down around her shoulders.

 

            “Hi,” Lena quietly replied, “I haven’t seen you in a while.” It had been weeks since Lex had been killed, and Lillian had been arrested, and she hadn’t caught so much as a glimpse of Kara hovering around her, and a part of her was relieved that they didn’t have to have a long conversation, but it looked like it was about to happen.

 

            “I didn’t think you’d want to,” Kara told her, a pained look on her face, “but just because you didn’t see me, it doesn’t mean I wasn’t there.”

 

            “Oh.”

 

            Kicking at the ground with her red booted foot, Kara hesitated, looking down at the ground, and Lena felt the familiar tightness in her chest again, as her heart ached for Kara. “So, um, you’re … going somewhere?”

 

            Lena let out a quick laugh, giving Kara a small smile as their eyes met, “yeah, it, uh, it’s … it’s too much to be here. I’m leaving.”

 

            She watched as Kara’s eyes widened slightly, looking almost scared, and her mouth opened and closed a few times. “You’re leaving? H-how long for?”

 

            “I’m not sure,” Lena said, shrugging as she cast her eyes towards her private jet, fuelled and waiting for her to board it.

 

            “Oh. Well, I, uh, I hope you take some time to look after yourself,” Kara told her, her smile looking a little strained, “and don’t stay away too long – I’ll miss you too much.”

 

            Her eyes prickled with tears, and Lena choked out a laugh, “well we can’t have that, can we?” They fell silent again for a few moments, and then Lena slowly took a deep breath, before letting out a shaky sigh when she couldn’t bring herself to say what she really wanted to. “I never got the chance to thank you for stopping the bullet. I guess I really did need you to save me after all.”

 

            Kara gave her a wonky smile, “no, you never needed saving, Lena. You just … needed some help.”

 

            “Thank you,” Lena quietly told her, and Kara swallowed thickly as she nodded, her eyes shining slightly as she smiled.

 

            “Anytime,” Kara assured her, pausing a moment before continuing, “I, um, I heard about your mom’s verdict. Life without parole – it’s everything you wanted.”

 

            Lena gave her a grim smile, “not everything.”

 

            “Well I’m happy for you, and maybe now you can do what you really want. You can save as many people as you like, without having to worry about your mom finding out. Just make sure that Detective doesn’t catch you.”

 

            Letting out a shuddering breath, Lena cleared her throat slightly, “I quit, actually. I hung up the mask – well, technically I burnt it because it’s evidence – but, um, yeah ... I finally stopped.”

 

            “Oh, I just thought you were taking a break. I thought that you enjoyed it,” Kara said, frowning slightly as she tried to wrap her head around the fact that Lena was done. Everything had started because she’d put on the mask, and now she was giving it up.

 

            “I did, but I think I’ve had enough excitement for one lifetime, and I don’t want to live in the shadows anymore. It's time I focused all of my energy on my company ... and it’s time to leave the saving to Supergirl,” she said, giving Kara a wry smile.

 

            “Then I hope she doesn’t let you down.”

 

            Lena laughed, her gaze softening as she stared at Kara. “She never has.” They fell into silence again, and there was so much that Lena wanted to say, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. So much had happened, and she was free for the first time ever, and could do whatever she wanted, but she was still scared. Folding her arms over her chest, she looked down at the ground and teetered slightly, almost as if she was going to take a step forward, but decided against it. After a few more moments, she looked back up and gave Kara a hesitant smile when her eyes locked onto Kara’s intense stare. “I should probably get going … the plane.”

 

            “Oh, yeah, right,” Kara said, stumbling over the words as she looked towards the jet, “where’re you heading?”

 

            “I don’t know,” Lena sighed, “any ideas?”

 

            “When was the last time you went on vacation?” Kara asked, laughing slightly as she watched a careful expression cross Lena’s face.

 

            Sheepishly smiling, Lena shrugged, “it’s been a while. I know the perfect place though.”

 

            Kara nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat as she uncrossed her arms. She clenched and unclenched her hands, before quickly crossing the few feet between them and wrapping Lena in a tight hug. Lena seemed to sag slightly in her arms, as a weight lifted off her shoulders at the comfort of Kara’s embrace, and she rested her chin on Kara’s shoulder, hugging her back as she closed her eyes. Neither of them said anything as they hugged, and Lena couldn’t meet Kara’s eyes when she finally pulled back, because her cheeks were streaked with tears.

 

            “Stay safe,” Kara murmured, and Lena nodded as she turned around, reaching up to wipe her cheeks. She walked a few steps towards the plane, and felt the ache in her chest intensify, almost as if it was physically hurting her to walk away from Kara, and she turned around, half hoping that she’d already silently shot off into the sky. She hadn’t though, and she was furiously blinking back tears, watching Lena walk away from her as a gentle breeze stirred her cape. Lena let out a quiet laugh, and Kara burst into laughter too, wiping her eyes as she helplessly shrugged.

 

            “Lena,” Kara softly said, sighing as she tilted her head to the side and looked at her, “what am I going to do without you? I gotta have you.”

 

            “I have nothing left to give you.”

 

            Kara laughed, “I don’t want anything; only you.”

 

            “Come with me,” Lena blurted out, saying what she’d been biting back since Kara had landed on the airstrip.

 

            “Lena-“

 

            She quickly walked back towards Kara, picking up her hands and holding them tightly in her own as she looked at her, an urgency in her wild eyes. “I love you. You’re the _only_ thing that I’ve ever wanted. Just … run away with me.”

 

\---

 

            Soft footsteps stirred up the sand, and Lena looked up from the novel she was reading, slipping her sunglasses down her nose as she looked at the approaching figure. She smiled at the sight of Kara tugging off one of her boots and tossing it onto the sunbed, hopping slightly as she pulled off the other one.

 

            “Did you get them all?” Lena asked, watching as the suit and cape quickly followed the boots.

 

            “Mhm,” Kara triumphantly smiled, “one woman, two children, and four men. Good thing your family bought an island in the middle of nowhere, because I doubt the Coast Guard would’ve reached the boat in time.”

 

            She leant down, and Lena shut her book, tilting her head up so that Kara could plant a quick kiss on her lips. “That’s my girl,” Lena said, before giving her another lingering kiss.

 

            “I’ll be back in a second, zhao,” Kara said, pressing a kiss to the top of Lena’s hair, before she gathered up all of her gear and walked into the sprawling house.

 

            Lena climbed to her feet, taking her empty glass over to the bar and fetching a clean one for Kara, before she started mixing up a cocktail, while she looked out at the blue sea. The waves gently broke on the shore, flooding towards her, before they were dragged back out, leaving wet sand behind, and Lena filled both of the glasses up and left them on the counter. Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply, inhaling the smell of the salty sea while the gentle breeze caressed her face and ruffled her hair. She hadn’t been to the private island since she was a teenager, and she was surprised at how much she had enjoyed their time there, hiking through the jungle, walking on the beach as they watched the sunset, and spending hours swimming and relaxing. It had all been so perfect.

 

            Warm arms wrapped around Lena’s waist, and her eyelids fluttered open as she smiled. A pair of lips gently brushed the scar on her shoulder, and she picked up both of the glasses, twisting around in Kara’s arms and handing one of the drinks to her. “What’re you thinking about so intently?” Kara asked, a smile playing on her lips as her blue eyes crinkled at the corners. They looked ever bluer than usual thanks to her tanned skin and blonder hair after so much time spent under the sun, and Lena gave her a loving smile as she reached up to gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

 

            “I was thinking about how much I like it here,” she said, “I don’t want to leave tomorrow. Let’s stay forever.”

 

            “Forever sounds _perfect_ ,” Kara told her, smiling widely as she ducked her head to kiss Lena, “but I’ve got work, and you _know_ Alex won’t let you get away with keeping me here forever.”

 

            “I know,” Lena grumbled, her lips turning down slightly at the corners, “I’ve got a business to get back to as well, but it’s been so perfect.”

 

            Kara gave her a knowing look as she gave her a small smile, “it’s hardly felt real; __being here with _you_ hasn't felt real.”

 

            “Oh I can assure you, I’m very real,” Lena smirked, and Kara let out a surprised laugh, remembering the first words that Lena had ever spoken to her.

 

            It almost felt a lifetime ago, or perhaps a different lifetime, and Lena couldn’t help but smile at how things had changed in just a few weeks. She’d told Kara that they couldn’t be together because of who she was, and who her family were, but no … there was nothing in her way. She had been brave, just for a moment, and now she had everything she could ever have dreamed of, and it was more perfect than Lena could ever have imagined. After all of the drama, pain and heartache, she had finally found the happiness she’d always wanted, and now, she was actually starting to believe that she _deserved_ it too. She looked up at Kara with wonder, almost as if she couldn’t believe that _she_ was real, and Kara tilted her head to the side, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she curiously looked at Lena.

 

            “What’s wrong?”

 

            “I don’t know how I ended up here,” Lena said, smiling as she shook her head in bewilderment.

 

            Kara let out a laugh, reaching out to gently brush her fingers over the two puckered scars on Lena’s shoulder, and her expression softened slightly as she looked into Lena’s awed sea green eyes. “Well, you became a hero.”


End file.
